Wednesday, April 14, 2004

Vegas Day 2 Update Part I: D'oh the Humanity!

12:31pm PCT... Luxor tournament. $28 entry fee. 50+ players. I was one of the first 10 knocked out. I made the money in December when I was there last and only played one hand. This time I played 3... AJ and won and two big losers. AK lost to J-8s and my 99 lost to 55. Both times I river'd by a pair or a set. I was moderately pissed and stormed out of the Luxor. I took the tram to Mandalay Bay and bumped into a Phishead friend of mine while he was signing up for a $1-5 stud game! It was cool. I didn't know Chris from Boston played poker. Alas, the line was too long for a $4-8 game and after 30 minutes, I took a cab to the Mirage.

I love the Mirage. It's one of my favorite places on Earth.

The wait for $3-6 was as long and hellacious as Courtney Love's rap sheet. With the Bellagio dark... most of the poker action happened in the Mirage. I reluctantly sat at a $6-12 table and played tighter than tight. I won a huge pot early, semi-bluffed at another one when I was on the button and was up almost $195. Then I played nothing over the next two hours... and when I finally did... I got proper fucked.

The guy in the corner was a huge black guy and he mentioned that he played pro football somehwere. Linebacker sized (6'4" & 325 lbs.), he was intimdating for sure, especially when his hole cards looked like a flimsy business card in the hands of a giant. Anyway, he saw pretty much every flop... which was a problem.

3:43pm PCT... Pauly got AA in the big blind. I brought it in for a reraise when the button raised. The football player called. Of course I lost to his 9-6o when he caught a straight on the river. I was wicked pissed and wanted to kick his ass. I glared down at him. A bad beat is a bad beat and you should expect the other guy to be steamed. (The first raiser had QQ). That cost me a few dollars.

5:02pm PCT... Pauly got AKs in the little blind. I raised and of course the football player called and caught a pair ont he river. He had Q-8. I couldn't believe it. More astonished was the rest of the table when I barked down at his end, "You lucky motherfucker."

That was probably not a smart thing to do. He could sqaush me like a baby cockaroach. Dejected, I counted up my chips and left. I rerally wanted to bust that guy, but my mindset was reaching tilt and I didn't want to play a higher limit than I normally play on tilt. I only lost $105, but I was up almsot $200 so it was a $300 swing on two hands... AA and AK.

The highlight of the afternoon was sitting across from a former showgirl/stripper. She had a diamond ring on her finger the size of a softball. I dunno what was more fake...
1. Her boobs.
2. Her tan.
3. Her dyed blonde hair.
Anyway, she was nice and I helped her out a few times explaining to her what the blinds were. She told me she liked watching Celebrity Poker Showdown. She told me all her turn ons (guys with a great sense of humor... and yes, I told her the infamous Prison Joke) and turn offs (guys with hairy backs... I said she could rub mine... smooth as a seal!).

She was not too bright. All I could think was... I have some prime real estate in Arizona I like to sell you. Yes, the dumb blonde, with watermelon sized boobs took down a huge pot with her low pocket pair. And the IQ level of the entire table was lowered by her mere appearance. I think it has to do with the brain activity of males which is seriously compromised when any amount of silicone is within 10 yards of said male.

Celebrity sighting... I saw Mel Judah playing $75-150 Omaha 8 at the table right behind me.

Ok. I'm waiting for my brother to arrive. Gonna blow off that chick I met at the Excalibur yesterday. I have a fishy suspicion that she's an integral part of a Chinese organ theives ring. And I'd like to keep my kidneys for now. More to come.

A Las Vegas Blog...

No comments:

Post a Comment