Top 10 Referrals:Thanks to everyone else for the links, Facebook blurbs, and Tweets directing your friends to Tao of Poker. Happy New Year!
1. Wicked Chops Poker
2. Twitter
3. LasVegasVegas
4. Pokerati
5. Tao of Pauly
6. 2+2
7. Coventry Music
8. Benjo
9. Shaniac
10. Poker Road
Day 4: Band of Brothers and Here Comes the Russians Reprise - The Brothers Mizrachi made waves when two of them (The Grinder and Robert) advanced to the final table of the 50K Players' Championship. Also advancing to the final 8 was a mysterious wealthy Russian businessman named Vladimir Schmelev. I hopped on the phone, made contact with an old friend in Moscow, and got him to spill the vodka-infused beans about the unknown Russian.I also made a cameo on the first episode of This Week in Poker, which also featured Jen Tilly.
Day 5: Redemption Song - The Grinder Wins Player's Championship - The Grinder achieved redemption, something very few poker players have a shot at. Along the way, he had to knock out his brother and survive a heads-up battle against the mysterious Russian, Vladimir Schmelev, who proved to be a worthy adversary.
Day 6: Welcome to the Sausage Factory and the Return of Triple Draw Fargis - I arrived at the Rio in the middle of a massive dealers' shift change. That got me wondering and thinking that the WSOP reminded me of a factory -- a sausage factory -- to be precise. Meanwhile, a blast from the past, Chris 'Triple Draw' Fargis, re-emerged after stepping away from the pro circuit to take a real job on a trading desk down on Wall Street.
Day 7: The Marvelous British Invasion - After a conversation with one of the British scribes, Snoopy, I was convinced that he was warning me that the Brits were going to make a waves at the WSOP and gobble up as many bracelets as they can while the Scandis were sitting out the preliminary events. Little did we know, that Snoopy was being overly conservative about the potential British dominance during the opening weeks of the WSOP.
Day 8: Darth Hellmuth - The Dark Lord returned to the WSOP. He's the villain that everyone loves to hate. Hellmuth went deep in a donkament which got everyone inside the Rio buzzing during his hot pursuit of bracelet #12.
Day 9: God Save the Queen Reprise and Seven for Men - Less than a week after his prediction that a British player will win a bracelet, Snoopy looked like the oracle when his fellow countrymen, Praz Pansi and James 'Flushy' Dempsey shipped events. Oh, and much to the dismay of Men the Master haters (or I should say, people who despise cheaters), the slow-rolling controversial figure won his 7th bracelet.
Day 10: Most Likely You Go Durrrr's Way (And I'll Go Mine) - Tom 'durrrr' Dan had the entire high stakes poker community by the collective balls when he went deep in one of the donkaments. They all had to squirm on one side of the Amazon Ballroom, sweating millions of dollars in potential lost prop bets, as durrrr took center stage and played heads-up for a bracelet. Looking back, Day 10 was one of the most exciting nights at the WSOP that I ever experienced.
Day 11: Durrrr Hangover, Hooker Quota, and Orange Tossing - The night after the durrrr saga left many at the Rio walking around in a daze. Not much to report aside from everyone experiencing a durrrr hangover. I managed to squeeze in a bit of commentary on the decline of working girl sightings at the Rio and a witty story from Flipchip about pros betting on orange tossing during the olden days of the WSOP at the Horseshoe.
Day 12: The Kassela Chainsaw Massacre - The 10K Stud World Championship included a stacked final table featuring six known pros and two Russians: Jen Harman, Steve Zolotow, John Juanda, Frank Kassela, Chainsaw Kessler, Dario Mineri, Vladimir Schmelev and Kirill Rabtsov. After several hours of brawling, it came down to a heads-up battle between Frank Kassela and Chainsaw Kessler. The event went late into the night and was not settled until 4:20am as Kassela emerged victorious. That win would thrust him into competition for the Player of the Year race.
Day 13: The Carter Phillips Show - Going into the final table of NL six-handed, everyone assumed that Carter Phillips was going to win the bracelet at one of the youngest final tables ever assembled at the WSOP. It was essentially a race for second place as Carter joined an elite group of players who won an EPT event and a WSOP bracelet.
Day 14: No Soup for Yellowsub - I had fun writing this post which included a brief history lesson about the origins of the Beatles album Yellow Submarine. Meanwhile, Jeff 'yellowsub86' Williams made a deep run in the 5K NL event but got sunk in third-place, despite the echos of his friends chanting the chorus to Yellow Submarine.
Day 15: Dude Looks Like a Lady and Get Baked - Every year, the Ladies Only tournament stirs up controversy. How come most people are silent 364 days a ear (and 365 on leap years), and then only bring up the issue on the eve of the event? At any rate, even though at the root, I'm against Ladies events, I sounded off on the reasons why I would never play in a Ladies Only event (simply put -- out of respect). As long as it's on the schedule, let them play I say.
Day 16: God Save the Queen... Thrice - The third Brit, Richard Ashby, collected a bracelet in a two week period and by that point, the mainstream poker press caught onto the British Invasion, even though thanks to Snoopy, we were chatting about this story before it even happened. Oh, and all of this happened on the same day that the US tied the English's squad in World Cup play.
Day 17: Durrrr's Grandma, Dutch Boyd 2.0, and the French Win...a Ladies' Bracelet - A little fun with captions after I saw a hysterical photo of an old woman sitting at the same table as Tom 'durrrr' Dwan. Oh, and just in case you missed it... new bracelet were awarded to the (still) controversial Dutch Boyd and a French woman who won the Ladies Event.
Day 18: Sammy Farha Wins a Bracelet, Flushy Leading the POY Race, and Orphaned Notes - The ever cool Sammy Farha took down a bracelet, meanwhile one of the British bracelet winners jumped out into the POY lead. I also shared a bunch of orphaned lines from my notebook. I figured that even though they didn't fit in anywhere specific, they were too good to flush down the toilet.
Day 19: Shorthanded Eels, the Russian Surge, and the Year of the Yang - I hoped that I bet on the right side of the fix as the NBA finals were coming down to the wire, and everyone's favorite degen sports bettor, Phil Ivey, took center stage as more media were interested in what he was betting on, than the cards he was playing. Alas, I embedded myself on the rail and noticed some unusual things such as the run that former world champion Jerry Yang was making.
Day 20: Femme Fatales, Hallway Punches, and the Bubbling Eel - Another dull day inside the ropes, but lots of action outside the ropes. I caught a pro bringing a hooker back to his room and someone sucker punched David Levi in the hallway. Meanwhile, a friend from Madrid, Spanish pro Javier 'anguila' Etayo, had bubbled off the final table of a 6-handed event.
Day 21: Pappa Johnny Road - The official end of the third week mark of the WSOP was not without any side drama not to mention -- drunken girls roaming around the Amazon Ballroom and the Rio's hallways. I also breakdown the game plan that different pros have when deciding what events to play in the WSOP.
Days 22-24: OFF
Day 25: Phil Ivey Beats Supercomputer for Bracelet Ocho - Phil Ivey is the real fucking deal after he beat a supercoputer heads-up for his 8th bracelet. Ivey also collected an unknown sum (worth millions I'm told) in prop bets. One thing is for sure, humans prevailed over the machines in this battle as Ivey proved that he is truly superhuman.
Ivey Ocho
Day 26: Dispatches from the Razz Event - Swollen Testicles, Ivey's Hoodie, and Vigorous Confusion - Razz is never fun to watch, but one good story to come out of this event was the Phil Ivey hoodie story involving Mickey Doft.
Day 27: Kassela Wins Dos, Sinking Norwegian Queen, and Ivey's Bracelet Ceremony - Frank Kassela distanced himself from the rest of the pack when he won his second bracelet inside of a month. And the pavilion was a buzz during Ivey's bracelet ceremony, meanwhile, Annette Obrestad came up short in an attempt make a final table American WSOP debut.
Day 28: About My Very Tortured Friend, Phil Hellmuth - I couldn't believe that I was going to write about Phil Hellmuth again, but I did trying to fully understand what it's like to be the tortured soul.
Day 29: Redemption Songs, Part II: Gavin Smith and Dean Hamrick - Bracelets were won by two people seeking redemption. Las Vegas is a city where a lot of people are looking to exorcise past demons, but very few people get an actual shot at doing so.
Day 30: The Sun Wields Mercy; Gavin Smith Wins First Bracelet - Breakthrough day for Gavin Smith as he won his first bracelet.
Day 31: TOC Hoopla, Flashmob of Brazilians, and Erik Seidel Goes for Number Nine.... Number Nine... Number Nine... - It was TOC day at the Rio, and I sound off on all of the controversy surrounding the event from the voting to players trying to big-time the event thereby changing the schedule of the event. I also gave my suggestions for three different versions of the TOC.
Day 32: Le Boucherie, Ripple In Still Water, and TOC Day 2 - The donkanments have turned into something that would resemble a butcher shop, meanwhile, the TOC seems like it's more of nuisance than a celebration as the middle of the fifth week of the WSOP becomes a dead zone.
Day 33: You Are What You Eat and Watch What You Tweet - Food and social media are among the topics of discussion. Ah, I also three everyone a bone and included an installment of Last 5 Pros I Pissed Next To...
Frightfully British Invasion by Chris HallOnce I returned to Las Vegas, I was ready to tackle the arduous task of covering the Main Event. Here's those daily recaps...
Everything All the Time: The WSOP's Identity Crisis by Change100
Day 39 - Main Event Day 1A: The Seekers - The Main Event is off and running and I pay homage to the courageous souls who said, "I don't give a fuck!" and plopped down $10,000 in pursuit of a dream.FYI, here's the 2010 Main Event Semi-Live Blog Links: Day 1A - Day 1B - Day 1C - Day 1D - Day 2A - Day 2B - Day 3 - Day 4 - Day 5 - Day 6 - Day 7 - Day 8
Day 40 - Main Event Day 1B: Great Expectations - Annette Obrestad's first WSOP Main Event and all of the hoopla surrounding the 21-year old Norwegian wunderkind's first appearance on US soil is the subject of my musings. I also wondered if she could ever live up to the hype and hysteria that we created for her in the media? It also made me question how much of an impact that we the media have in potentially setting up certain pros to fail?
Day 41 - Main Event Day 1C: The Odium of Hellmuthstein - Ah, the spectacle of the Phil Hellmuth Entrance. If you hate him you can skip this one. If you really hate him, you'll end up reading it twice.
Day 42 - Main Event Day 1D: The Unluckiest Champion in the World - Robert Varkonyi took his seat in the Main Event, but without the pomp and circumstance of other former champions. I examine the story of the unluckiest champion in the world.
Day 43 - Day 2A: Moneymaker - The Shadow of a Dream - I love comparing Chris Moneymaker to Jay Gatsby. While Robert Varkonyi chases Moneymaker's shadow, Moneymaker has to constantly chase his own shadow. Will he ever win a second bracelet or does it not even matter because after all, he's Chris Moneymaker?
Day 44 - Day 2B: The Last of the Mohicans - I was wicked hungover after getting hustled in bowling the night before. I phoned it in for this piece. Don't even bother reading it. My apologies.
Day 45: OFF - Media Day
Day 46 - Main Event Day 3: Johnny Fucking Chan, the Butcher Shop, and Here Come the Scandis - Johnny Fucking Chan made a run and I got to proudly write "fucking" instead of bleeping out his infamous nickname. The field continued to thin itself out on Day 3 while a couple of Scandi sleeper cells were activated and sprung into action.
Day 47 - Main Event Day 4: I Want to Take You Higher - Inspired by a Sly and the Family Stone song, I riff about the ghosts wandering around the Amazon Ballroom, brutal casualties of the killing fields.
Day 48 - Main Event Day 5: Fookin' Bonkers, Scandi Ambush, and Disco Inferno - Tony Dunst began the day as the leader while most of the Amazon Ballroom began to empty out as the field was thinned to just 204. The Scandis continued their assault while a Dutch pro named Fokke Buekers became everyone's darling. Meanwhile, California's Breeze Zuckerman became the Last Woman Standing in the Main Event.
Day 49 - Main Event Day 6: Never Mind the Mizrachis, Here Come the Scandis - The Scandi sleeper cell was in full effect as everyone remaining in the Main Event was jockeying for a spot during the homestretch of the November Nine. Meanwhile, all four Mizrachi brothers cashed in the Main Event, but Robert and the Grinder could not replicate their 50K Players' Championship feat with both of them advancing to the final table.
Day 50 - Main Event Day 7: Shine A Light - With 27 players remaining, the next superstar was sitting in front of me. I reflect on previous Main Events specifically on the first hand that I can recall watching from the rail that each former champion played leading up to the final table.
Day 51 - Main Event Day 8: Meet the November Nine - The Grinder advanced to the final table after a marathon November Nine bubble.
"Poker is riddled with cheating even though all the powers to be do their best to keep the game clean. It's in the industry's best interest to run a fair game. Unfortunately, angle shooters are constantly concocting get rich quick schemes in an attempt to exploit flaws in the security apparatus. When in doubt, if you can't circumvent the machines, you can always bribe a human to look the other way while you do your dirty deed. Those shitstains have no qualms about ripping off players and undermining the credibility of the online sites. They have a skewed sense of entitlement and pathological criminals who operate without any semblance of remorse (similar to the Worm character in Rounders)."
Recap: 2010 WSOP Day 2B on ESPN - Happy Jacks, Action Dan, the Jenny Crank Diet, and Pancakes with the DonkeyBomberJust when you thought that the nosebleed action was drying up, the second installment of the Durrrr Challenge kicked off with The Durrrr Challenge 2.0: Tom Dwan vs. Dan "jungleman12" Cates.
Recap: 2010 WSOP Day 3 Main Event on ESPN - The Rudiments of Gruel
Recap: 2010 WSOP Day 4 Main Event on ESPN - Money Money Money
Recap: 2010 WSOP Day 5 Main Event - Wie Geht's Detlef Schrempf and OMG Runs Good
Recap: 2010 WSOP Day 6 Main Event - Life Is Just to Die
"the Brazilian lived across the hall. He was like a suave micro-version of Ricardo Montalban, but maybe that's a little too obscure of a reference, so the Brazilian was more like a younger version of that guy in the Dos Equis commercial, you know, the "most interesting man in the world." The girls in Theta (the sorority with all the hot Southern girls) swooned over the Brazilian, and they loved everything about him, especially his his impeccable neatness because he compulsively wore a white Polo dress shirt, with sleeves rolled one quarter of the way up his forearm and perfectly tucked into a pair of khaki pants. On random afternoons, the Brazilian blasted the soundtrack to Phantom of the Opera and drank an exotic cocktail called a Mojito, which he made with limes and a special bowl and tool that he had brought back from his last trip to Rio de Janeiro. I'd walk down the hallway and peek into his room and he'd be mixing a cocktail in one hand, dragging a Dunhill in the other, as a dozen Thetas somehow squeezed onto his couch and uncontrollably giggling and groping one another. I was perplexed. We were in awe of the Brazilian's ability to attract swarms of gyrating women. A decade later, the Brazilian came out of the closet which explained the fancy cocktails, show tunes, and the fact his room was Mecca for all the Southern fag hags at my school."Change100 and I embraced a self-indulgent project called Rounders Reprise when we get to share our half-baked commentary of Rounders. You have to view the videos in Rounders Reprise... Part 1: Mike McD loses his roll at Teddy KGB Game & Part 2: Joey Knish is a stoner and the Judges Game and Part 3: Mike McD Has a Shitty Girlfriend and Meet the Worm & Part 4: Worm and Mike McD = Old Partners.
"The Pai Gow tables are not brushed as often as it should, and a thin layer of ash covers some of the farthest corners of the torn and frayed felt, as black bits of expired cigarette papers mix in with shades of grey and white that form miniature mountains of soot. Remnants from previous gamblers are warning signs to those who want to be warned, because the last person who sat in your space attempted to chain smoke their way out of their losing streaks, and in the end all they had to show for it were a couple of watered down cocktails, an empty pack of Reds, and a series of bad beats from a porcelain doll-like dealer from Vietnam named Hong."I covered the NAPT Los Angeles in my adopted hometown. The final table of the Main Event was moved from the Bike to the Crystal Casino in Compton. Here's the Dispatches from the NAPT Los Angeles...
Moneymaker Survives the Cut, Meat on a Stick, and the Ice Cream Man ComethOn Turkey Day, Dr. Chako won Turkey Cup.
Meatsticks and Spoons
When I Called Off, I Got a Sawed Off
Joe Tehan Wins NAPT LA Main Event
Eric "Basebaldy" Baldwin Wins NAPT Shootout in Compton
"Four Loko is a dangerous energy drink, sort of like the PCP of Malt Liquor, and it will put hair on your chest -- that is, if you can actually wake up the next day after blacking out, but not before you chugged three Four Lokos, took a dump in the back of a taxi cab, then punched three holes in your bathroom door by head-butting it."I offered up another installment of the Pai Gow Diaries with Lucky Cards. Here's a bit:
"This bot was non-Asian, which through me off for a few minutes because she looked like someone I knew. That's when I figured it out -- my dealer was the 40-year old version of Kelly Osbourne. She was relentless. She was brutal. She was an incorrigible and continuously beat down any of my stellar hands. I got caught in that horrible bad trip where she constantly beat me out by the slimmest of margins. If I had a straight and a pair of sevens, well she had a bigger straight and a pair of eights. If she showed J-10 up top, I was behind with J-9. I couldn't win anything. Even when I tossed in a desperate chip to the Insurance circle, I came out a loser."And the last thing I posted in November was something called Anatomy Is Destiny. Yeah, the title is an obscure reference, but it was definitely a standout because I got to piss off a bully.
Benjo in the Bahamas: Dispatches from the Coral Bar - Volume 1I headed to Las Vegas to cover the porn convention. That's right, I got a press credential via Tao of Poker to attend the 2010 AVN Adult Entertainment Expo. I posted three pieces about the expo. Foreplay: The 2010 AVN Adult Entertainment Expo covers my intro to the porn world (both many moons ago and at that moment in Las Vegas).
Benjo in the Bahamas: Dispatches from the Coral Bar - Volume 2
Benjo in the Bahamas: Dispatches from the Coral Bar - Volume 3
"Some of the actresses are noticeably not into the autograph sessions. They are exhausted and drained. Others don't mesh too well with the public and are fighting every bit of social anxiety. And some are handling such a high volume of requests that it's impossible to fool around with the fans. But Alexis? She enjoyed every second of the spotlight. Boundless energy. Always smiling. If she was my favorite star and I waited twenty minutes in line for a photo, I'd be super pumped because she was super excited to meet me. Then again, maybe it was the ecstasy pumping through her blood system?"The third installment from the 2010 AVN AEE was titled Fetish Theatre. Here's a sample:
"A blonde in a Catholic school girl outfit tried to get me to buy porn beer coosies. A young guy in his 20s with an L.A. Dodgers hat dragged a blow up doll through the crowd. A Japanese film crew slowly navigated through the crowd while a tiny female presenter stopped people to ask questions. Another busty model offered me a pamphlet on flavored lube. I got caught up in a traffic jam in front of Diamond Foxx's booth as she signed autographs for a group of 60-year old Japanese guys. You could park a motorcycle in her cleavage."The Battle of the Tonight Show was the only thing people in Hollywood were talking about. I had a few things to say about poker strategies that Conan O'Brien should use in dealing with Jay Leno and NBC suits.
Day 9... Been up for over 200 hours. Maybe 210? 220? Who knows. Whoever came up with that Rush concept should be skull-fucked. Lives are going to be ruined. Marriages destroyed. Houses lost. Cars repossessed. Children taken away and tossed into foster care. Emergency rooms are going to flooded with junkies OD'ing on Rush. Thick purple circles around the eyes. Fingers perpetually stuck in a claw-like pose. Covered in urine and feces because once you get hooked, you're unable to move. The Religious Right is going to have a field day with this. The moralists are going to find some brain-dead Rush addict and parade his drooling ass slumped in a wheel chair on all of the talk shows. Cavuto. Beck. George Lopez. Everyone will want to talk to the innocent honor student who was corrupted by the dark side of the force. They will use this as an excuse to ban the internet outright. And if you get caught playing online poker, you'll get tossed into the new Gitmo with the Islamic Fundamentalists and have to do the naked pyramid nightly to amuse the guards otherwise you don't get any meat. And don't even think about the fuckin' pudding either. We might let the prisoners of war pray to Mecca, but we sure as hell don't give them dessert.
"Hell is a whorehouse in Tijuana with cockroaches crawling over piss-warm beers, hookers older than Joan Rivers, Coldplay screeching on the jukebox, a midget eating a jar of pickled eggs, and a bandito in the corner fondling a butcher knife.I sounded off on what High Stakes Poker was like in the first year after A.J. Benza.
That's the beauty about life. Someone might find Tavern on the Green as a personal hell, while others hope to God that heaven is a brothel south of the border."
Lost Vegas Podcast
Episode 1 - Final Draft... The re-write is over and Change100 explains how she knew how/when Lost Vegas was finally done. She even tosses a Wonder Boys reference into the mix, while I remain moody and evasive.
Episode 2 - Lost Translation... Change100 and I discuss the French version of Lost Vegas, which is currently being translated by Benjo. Chapter 1 in French is complete and we figure out how my favorite (yet grossly overused term) "douchebag" gets properly translated.I was fortunate enough to get an invite to play in the 2010 WPT Invitational at the Commerce Casino in L.A. I gathered enough material for a two-parter: The WPT Celebrity Invitational, Part 1: Welcome to Hollyweird and Part 2: I Could Use Some Brass Knuckles.
Episode 3 - Inspiration Inebriation... Change100 ambushes Pauly about the real inspiration behind Lost Vegas, and she gets him to reveal trade secrets.
"I fuckin' love Hollywood for the absurdity and plasticity. Stephen Elliot, author of The Adderall Diaries, wrote that L.A. is the perfect place to be discovered and hide out simultaneously. I'm paraphrasing here... but since everyone in the City of Angels is desperately seeking attention, all you have to do is stand still and you'll disappear. That's one of the most accurate description of L.A. and Hollywood that I've come across. Elliot simply summed up one the main reasons why I migrated to the left coast and settled down in La-La Land -- it really is easy to disappear within the city limits and become invisible. Lost in the shuffle."And in the second part titled, I Could Use Some Brass Knuckles, I shared my experiences playing with a really really drunk guy from ER and then getting busted from one of the actors from Band of Brothers. Here's a sample:
"The positives of sitting next to Nick far outweighed the negatives. For example, Nick is a handsome actor who knew an impressive number of actresses in the room. A steady stream of starlets stopped by our table to flirt, schmooze, and sneak in a few seconds of camera time. I didn't mind the starlet parade one bit."During the WPT Invitational, Michalski and I took some time to record three special episodes of the Tao of Pokerati...
Tao of Pokerati - 2010 WPT LA Invitational EpisodesAnd I ended the month in Uruguay writing about what a dirty job I had to do being surrounded my exotic Brazilian models.
Episode 1: Slumming It in Not-So-Beverly Hills... Michalski explains... "As Pauly and I are prone to do whenever we get together, we couldn't help ourselves from kicking into 3-minute-podcast mode in Los Angeles this weekend as we both got ready to take on the Hollywooded up field at the WPT Celebrity Invitational for the LAPC... and explore How-TF we got into the field in the first place."
Episode 2: Commerce She Bangs... Michalski explains... "Pauly and I arrive at the Commerce to see more big-name degens than we do celebrities, but it's still early..."
Episode 3: Newcomer's Welcome... Michalski explains... "We were still waiting for cards to get in the air at the WPT Celebrity Invitational when we found the red-carpeted smoker's terrace at the Commerce. The first ever PartyPoker Party in LA, too -- LA: It's Very Different than America -- as Tao of Pokerati runs into its first ever security issue."
Episode 4: A Roomful of (Hollywood) Cliches... Michalski explains... "Your intrepid player-correspondents catch up on the first break at the star-studded WPT Celebrity Invitational to talk about how the tourney is going... I've battled back from chip-and-a-chair conditions at a table full of pros (and rebought with Pauly money) to stay alive, while Pauly has been taunted by errant nipples and offered blow in the bathroom. We're not even deep, but we're already taking note of would-be final tableist Trishelle Cannatella, too, before getting distracted by the pathos of Commerce steerage."
Episode 5: ATM Roulette... Michalski explains... "I'm still alive, but Pauly’s out. Before bringing our Hollywood poker weekend to a close, we decide we should get a firsthand taste of the real Commerce degen experience, so Pauly escorts me to the ATM to make good on ana charitable WPT rebuyacquired-at-the-table debt before he jets off to Uruguay."
"It's political. I'm an anarchist and I thrive on chaos. The best way to disrupt society is to implode the entire financial system. I want to win money from capitalist American pigs and Eurotrash elite to bankrupt them and bring them to their knees. You have to understand something. I'm Swedish. I didn't pick that. I was born into it. I blame my parents who spawned me against my will. That's why I dropped out of school when I was ten years old to become a poker pro."On St. Patrick's Day, I penned my annual post to the Lady Luck. The 2010 version is simply titled Lucky.
"Because poker is not regulated and the major tournament circuits do not test players for narcotics or performance enhancing drugs, Hellmuth resorted to injecting himself with nandrolone, HGH, HBT, synthetic hemoglobin, and some sort of protein extracted from Rhinoceros semen. Within a few weeks, Hellmuth pumped himself up and has been training with a couple of MMA fighters for an impending cage fight with The G."The Return of the Sun King is a dose of philosophical waxing on gambling-heavy topics such as March Madness and Big Deuce.
"I turned the corner and a pack of cougs were spread out in the lobby in front of the theatre. Sixty or so women were in search of tickets to that evening's show. Three groups were visible: professional cougs in tight jeans that only hipsters on the L train wear, timid cougs-in-training (recently separated), and twenty-something girls with so many fashion faux-pas that my girlfriend can write an entire book on the tragic cliches."I did a little head shrinking with Mental Mazes. I broke down poker players into different categories including the Nebbish Goober, Reckless Gambler, Fraidy Cat, and Confident Warrior. Here's a sample:
"The confident warrior is Clint Eastwood is all of his spaghetti westerns and the Dirty Harry movies. He's an angry muthafucker looking for trouble because he knows know no one can stop him. And if he dies, so fuckin' what. We live in a godless chaotic universe and all die a miserable death. Why not now? Any day is a good day to die. Let's not go down like a bunch of pansy pussies! Durrrr and Ivey are modern day samurais and gunslingers averse to shy away from battle. They are willing to perish at any time which makes them dangerous... and wealthy men."I listed my Top 5 choices for "intro" music if I ever made a televised final table. Do you liek Curtis Mayfield, Beck, GirlTalk, the Beasties Boys, or Phish?
"The second operative, the bad cop, was a silent assassin. I'm sure you have come across the type of cooler who does not say a word, nor respond to any of your banter. At first I thought she was a bot, but then I discovered she was dealing to slow to be a machine. Her silence was eerie and outright spooky. She purposely acted like that in order to induce tilt. However, the silent treatment failed to send me off the reservation. I was not digging deep into my pocket for multiple rebuys, instead, I was grinding away and beating them at their own game."I had some thoughts about the redesign of the 2010 TOC in TOC Musings: The Real World, and I suggested that the powers to be cast the TOC like they were trying to cast the upcoming season of the Real World.
"It's hard to say when exactly Russian Roulette was invented because the origins are shrouded in ambiguity. Historians point to WWII during the Nazi's siege of Stalingrad where suicidal officers engaged in the game. Other historians insist that Russian Roulette began in 19th century prisons or in the early 20th century gulags when bored guards made prisoners play the savage game of chance. The barbaric guards wagered on which unlucky prisoners would blow their brains out. Stories also exist about starving Russian peasants playing the game in an all-in or nothing wagering proposition for rubles. If they won and survived, they'd have enough money to eat. If they lost, then they died a quick death, avoiding a gruesome end via starvation."I finished off the month with a light-hearted post by listing my Top 5 Hilarious 2+2 Threads.
By the end of the third round, Lindgren's friends thought that he was on the brink of cracking. He endured temperatures that peaked out at 106 degrees and showed obvious signs of fatigue, dehydration, and sunstroke. After 54 straight holes of golf, he lost almost ten pounds.
"I don't have a will, but if I die today, I'll leave everything to Gavin Smith," joked Lindgren."
"Part of the reason why I have actively discouraged sensitive people from entering poker because it's an industry of pissed off people. No wonder I don't look forward to moving to Las Vegas every summer because I'm forced to interact with people in a pissed off environment for seven weeks. By the time I escape Vegas, I'm fucking miserable and need to hang out with old hippies and blissful tree huggers in Colorado in order to get my forlorn chakras back into the correct rotation."Ever wondered what the Tao of Poker's Top 10 Degen Gambling Flicks of All Time are? You'd be surprised to see what films made the list.
Day 1: The Cold Open - Opening lines to several great novels inspired the opening post of the 2010 WSOP, but none more fitting than Charles Dickens. The 50K Players' Championship also kicked off the WSOP, while many scribes and photographers were on alert just in case the federales were going to drag away a couple of the poker pro owners of Full Tilt Poker.
Day 2: Not So Easy Rider - The official WSOP live updates page crashed more times to count due to a crush of traffic. It turned out that a hamster and a drunk Lithuanian was to blame. Editor's Note: This particular piece got me into a little bit of hot water with the humorless powers to be.
Day 3: Scandi Mafia and Donkulus' Comet - The first potential headache of the WSOP arrived with the field in the $1,000 Donkulus event got decimated at a much faster pace than expected. Could the elusive donk get extinct at the 2010 WSOP? Meanwhile, as the 50K Players' Championship progressed, the Scandi Mafia arrived on the rail to keep a keen eye on the outcome.
How the World Series of Poker Saved Me from the Market Crash: Part 1 is a remarkably well-written piece that Amy wrote. As you might already know, we worked together in the summer of 2007 covering the WSOP at a time when she wasn't able to keep an eye on her investments. Here's the detailed story of what she did that ended up averting her from the disaster that plagued so many of us when the market took a downturn in 07-08. (Aimlessly Chasing Amy)
Remember David Einhorn? He went deep in the WSOP Main Event a few years back. It seemed strange at the time that he was going to donate all of his winnings to charity. Sure he was head of a major hedge fund, but at the time I had no idea that he was pulling in beaucoup bucks by betting against Allied and Leham Brothers. The gang at DealBreaker.com sat down to chat with Einhorn about his recent book. Check out Heads Up Play with David Einhorn. (DealBreaker)
Kim from Sweden (via Norway) gives us a no bullshit assessment of the current state of poker media. I even got a shout out. Thanks Kim! Anyway, you really need to carefully examine some of Kim's points in The Future of Poker Media. (Infinite Edge Gaming)
By the way, I'm a fan of news aggregation and PoRo is one of my daily stops for poker news. (PoRo Report)
Thanks to Julius Goat for penning a spectacular review of Lost Vegas. You are way too kind, sir. Thanks also to AlCantHang and FullTilt Poker for running the piece. (Poker From the Rail)
And lastly, the Micros are back with a special holiday themed episode starring Erik Seidel...
We had already encountered one casualty of the night with a broken ceramic pipe. That's why with pressing urgency, I attempted to clean out a clogged one-hitter on the pedestrian bridge between the MGM and New York, New York. A steady flow of tourists stumbled out of the MGM and at least 50% of them stopped to take cell phone photos of the Strip."Next thing I know some faggot in a yellow shirt is waking me up. Oh wait. It was security. Fat black cop wanted to beat me with his stick. Who the fuck makes these stupid rules up anyways? No sleeping in the Sportsbook. sheeesh. Luckily I always hang with people who run up huge bar tabs and they were able to get me out of trouble."- I sorta expected to lose money over the weekend and even budgeted something called "social gambling funds" which I didn't care if I lost because the point was to hang out and have fun. That's why I was surprised when I was getting ready to leave and noticed that I was driving home with more cash on me than I expected.
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