Tuesday, June 08, 2010

The WSOP Fashion Report: Alarming Trends

By Change100
Las Vegas, NV

WTF are you lookin' at?

Welcome my friends to the return of the WSOP Fashion Report. I'm your host, change100 and in our first installment, we'll examine several alarming trends that are sweeping the halls of the Rio Convention Center.

It's an unusual day indeed at the World Series of Poker when Phil Ivey decides to draw attention to himself. Usually resplendent in simple, solid button-down shirts that are tailored to perfection, Ivey made a strong departure when he donned this shockingly loud bomber jacket made entirely of Hefty bags.

Ivey, however, is not the only one embracing garbage-bag couture. Justin "Boosted J" Smith donned a similar design...in purple... at the $50,000 Players' Championship.

For $600 they assured me it was totally hip

Alarming trend #2 was started this winter by the Norwegian Curling team and unfortunately brought upon the poker world by Tom "DonkeyBomber" Schneider, who locked up an endorsement deal with Loudmouth Golf, the company that makes the vertigo-inducing pants pictured below.

Mainstream sponsorship, FTW!

While we hoped that the meteoric popularity of MTV's The Jersey Shore would lead to thousands of wannabe poker pros burning their Ed Hardy T-shirts in effigy, unfortunately, the overwhelming popularity of douchebag-wear at the WSOP has not waned.

What exactly is douchebag-wear? I explain it on this episode of the Tao of Pokerati . And here's one living example, Tao of Poker's perennial fashion "don't" Hollywood Dave, who paired a gangland-inspired bandana with a silver-studded T-shirt, two UB patches, and a pair of white plastic-rimmed shades.

Tell me you don't want a piece of this

Many more members of the Douchebagicus family (trademark Otis) have been running rampant through the halls of the Rio. Our crack photographer Matt Waldron was able to snap a few shots and get away before any of these beasts attacked, which would have resulted in poor Matt being covered in sequins, orange streaks of self-tanner, and the lingering scent of Drakkar Noir.

"Look, Maryann! It's the wild douchebagicus!"

Losangeles Douchebagicus

Tattooicus Douchebagicus

Panama haticus douchebagicus

Ladies, don't be afraid of color.
And don't be afraid of wearing every color at once, either.

To conclude, it's your Tao of Poker Style Minute, featuring everyone's favorite polyester train wreck pictured above (it ain't libel if it's true, darlin').

Change100 is a writer from Los Angeles, CA.

8 comments:

  1. pavaveda3:29 PM

    Hahahahaha!

    "Douchbagicus"! Nice. And I really like the Panama haticus douchbagicus.

    Next installment can be about dudes wearing black hoodies, bedhead, spotty beards, and smell like parmesan cheese, but it won't be as good as this one.

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  2. Change100 Obviously missed me. Lets hope she never spots me.

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  3. awesome post!

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  4. i laughed so hard at the last one the cat even got concerned. #1, Bravo! 2 thumbs up Change!!

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  5. Chip Bitch3:35 AM

    Change, you must have missed him. Dario Minieri was wearing the same shiny plastic jacket on Monday.

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  6. Karridy2:17 PM

    This is the #1 reason I have quit playing poker. I have to play with people I like or at least can respect. I just can't say either of these things about a person who would clad themselves in Affliction, Ed Hardy, or Christian Audiger (sp?). - And what's with the bedazzling!? UGHGHGHGG

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  7. shiny jackets would be totally ok if a) they were from http://www.moncler.it
    and b) this was the WSOP 2009

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  8. Luke Thomas10:24 PM

    Where the hell is Dario, he has to take the DB award when it comes to fashion.  I suppose since he is a euro he gets some sort of pass.  Don't know what's up with Phil I. 

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