Dispatches from Mohegan Sun: NAPT Day 3 - Mohegan Cougar

By Pauly
Uncasville, CT

I returned to my hotel room to retrieve my CrackBerry charger. The elevator door opened and the air quickly filled with clashing perfumes. One-by-one a pride of cougars sauntered past me. It felt like I walked through the cosmetics section of Bloomingdales.

Fifteen minutes later. Foggy and a little groggy, I slid in and out of the dense crowd, passing a dude with a Nomar jersey hobbling on crutches. The casino was busy most of the week, but for the first time since I arrived, I found it difficult to navigate through the casino. That's when it hit me... Friday night.

I turned the corner and a pack of cougs were spread out in the lobby in front of the theatre. Sixty or so women were in search of tickets to that evening's show. Three groups were visible: professional cougs in tight jeans that only hipsters on the L train wear, timid cougs-in-training (recently separated), and twenty-something girls with so many fashion faux-pas that my girlfriend can write an entire book on the tragic cliches.

They were in search of tickets to the sold out Chelsea Handler show. I had no idea who that was.

"She's a hysterical comedienne," my Costa Rican colleague clued me in. "All her jokes and books are about banging young guys and bragging that she's a whore."

The Mexican restaurant was virtually empty all week, but the tequila bar out front was packed with cougs, forty, maybe fifty of them, dressed like the orange chick from The Jersey Shore, were slamming Margaritas faster than Boston frat boys can shotgun cans of Natty Lite.

"It's like a wildlife preserve," commented Otis.

Welcome to Mohegan Cougar.

My Costa Rican colleague is 21-years-young but he looks like he's sixteen. He's prime-A beef in the minds of Catholic priests and cougars. I told him to walk with extra caution when traversing through the casino. I wondered if some of them were here to gobble up a couple of online pros. Cougs plus online twenty-somethings is like drenching C4 with kerosene.

* * * * *
As expected, the money bubble popped during the second level of play on Day 3. 104 players were awarded prize money and in an event where more than half the field qualified via PokerStars satellites, you definitely had a few guys turtling into the money.

By mid-afternoon, the field caught up to end of Day 2 chipleder Jordan Morgan. Three players amassed 1 million in chips: Dale Jamison, Brandon Hall, and Vanessa Selbst.

Phil Ivey started the day in a semi-grumpy mood. He was not thrilled with his original seat because his back was to the wall which projected the Masters. Ivey had to sweat the action, but it wasn't meant to be because of his seat draw. He borrowed an iPhone to watch the game until he was moved to a new table with a seat facing the wall.

I tried all morning to secure action on a wager... Phil Ivey AND Tiger Woods both winning on Sunday. No one would give me action! Too bad for them because Ivey bailed out in 29th place. Inc ase you were wondering, Phil Ivey of golf shot -2 for his round on Friday which put him in a tie for third place.

Action at the NAPT Mohegan Sun was stopped when the field was whittled down to 24 players. Vanessa Selbst advanced to Day 4 holding the chiplead with almost 2.3 million. Scott Seiver had an amazing Day 3... he began with a mere 40K and went to work. When Day 3 ended, he found himself ahead of everyone else (with the exception of Selbst). Also still alive are Jonathan Aguiar, Johnny Bax, Brandon Hall, Vanessa Rousso, and Jordan Morgan.