Sunday, January 10, 2010

Foreplay: The 2010 AVN Adult Entertainment Expo

By Pauly
Las Vegas, NV

The Scorpion Girl

The invites began to trickle into my inbox last week. Evil Angel asked me if I wanted to interview their high caliber talent... Belladonna, Bobbi Starr, Sophie Dee, Asa Akira, Madison Parker, Kelly Divine, and Tarra White. I only heard of Belladonna and figured that Asa Akira was an Asian chick. The rest were their darling du jours. I had to ask my brother and other friends if they were familiar with the other names. I'm way out of the loop when it comes to the higher echelon of pornstars. The closest I get to porn is Wicked Chops Poker and a stroll through the red light district in Amsterdam on a head full of Moroccan hashish.

If you asked me a porn-related inquiry back in 1996, I could tell you almost everything you needed to know during my stint into the "industry" when I was struggling to write the Great American Novel and I slept on a lumpy mattress on the hardwood floor of the top story in a brownstone in Brooklyn. I paid my bills by managing an adult entertainment store on the border of Queens and Long Island. Porn was in the pinnacle of the video era and just on the cusp of becoming big business on the internet. The porn boom was about to explode and widespread DVD releases were still a few years away. In the mid-1990s, the VCR was your ticket to sexual deviancy when dial up connection ruled the landscape. Aside from a few photo galleries of snatch pics and jizz shots, it was difficult and nearly impossible to watch tittie flicks on the net. Videos were still king even though they were about to become dinosaurs.

I worked at a sleazy joint called The Booty Shack. We sold sex toys of all sorts and sizes. The King Kong dildos were hot ticket items, but the majority of the store was dedicated to videos. And no, we didn't have peep booths. I've held a slew of odd jobs in my life, but jizz mopper was not one of them. The Booty Shack had boxes on shelves going all the way up to the ceiling. Each shelf was devoted to every type of possible porn situation. That's when I learned that German pissing videos were a refined selection, next to bondage and S&M.

The compilation tapes were popular items for the average customer. The tapes were $24.99 for four hours of porn and usually produced by specific companies who released a highlight reel of scenes lasting five to ten minutes. You didn't have to fast forward through the senseless plot and got the best parts. The six hour tapes were $32.99.

The guy who owned the Booty Shack was a stuck-up moron from Jordan. I wish I could say nice things about him, but he treated me like shit. He used to pop zits in the bathroom mirror and ordered me to clean them up. He was involved in a lot of shady things and it was not uncommon for a couple of detectives to stop by the store when he wasn't there. They thought he was involved in the massage parlor three doors down, but even I knew that the mob ran those Asian delight joints.

Aside from being an asshole, my boss was a total crook. He purchased one master tape of the hottest video and then made dozens of copies of each one -- and sold those copies at full retail value. It was a nifty scam because none of the customers complained. He had twenty VCRs in the back room and I spent most of my days making copies. I often made copies for my own private library and "mix tapes" for my buddies who were in law school in the city.

The guy from Jordan was also a sex pervert and picked up loose women on AOL chat rooms (the rage circa 1996) and somehow persuaded them to have sex with him while he videotaped it in the backroom of the store. I know because he asked me to film him once. The woman he seduced had the hairiest ass I had ever seen. It thought she had an Ewok shoved up there. I'm still suffering from post-stress traumatic syndrome from that hairy incident.

The job at the Booty Shack didn't pay well, but I acquired tons of free porn, listened to sports talk radio, smoked blunts in the alley on my breaks, and filled two notebooks full of poems during the down time. I quit after a few months because my boss would not give me Christmas day off. My stint in the porn industry was complete. Chapter done.

Flash forward to 2010.

I got another random email in my inbox -- two pornstars were getting married and I had an invite. The last wedding I went to in Las Vegas were my friends Gracie and Pablo down at the courthouse. The room was too small for our huge group of friends so the judge had to perform the ceremony the lobby. But a porn wedding? First time for everything.

Melts in your mouth...

I got another list sent to me inviting me to interview another batch of adult entertainers which included names of that I recognized. That couldn't be good, because it meant that those stars were over-the-hill and beat up cougars past their prime. God knows how many cocks, fingers, dildos, and toes those stars must have shoved into their vaginas since Bill Clinton took office. You could probably drive a Smart Car through their canals.

And how about the seminars? Yes, the porn industry is big business and seminars ran around the clock. The only one of interest for me was the keynote address by Sasha Grey. I was not familiar with her "adult" work but as my brother aptly said, "She's into anal."

Keynote speaker - Sasha Grey

I first saw her in an articulate interview about Steven Soderbergh's flick The Girlfriend Experience. The sassy, brash, and sultry Grey was one of the rare porn actresses who crossed over into the big time: Hollywood. However, she didn't shun her roots and returned to porn. After all, at the ripe age of 21, Sasha Grey is on top of the adult entertainment industry. As the Queen of the AEE, I was eager to hear her speak.

I will publish a full report tomorrow including excerpts from Sasha Grey's speech. For now, this is the foreplay version of my adventures at the 2010 AVN AEE. Stay tuned.

In the meantime, you can check out my NSFW photos of the AVN AEE here.

And don't forget about Flipchip. God bless the man. He published three days worth of pics! Check out... Day 1 & Day 2 & Day 3.

Original content written and provided by Pauly from Tao of Poker at All rights reserved. RSS feeds are for non-commercial use only.

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