Wednesday, December 21, 2005

I Loathe Putrid Poker Piss Ants and the Tao of Jesus

Sorry, Iggy, no Chasing Amy quotes today. I'm too bitter about that fucktard who's been ripping off our shit. He even got Iggy on tilt for the last few days. Yes, it's the price to pay for having a popular blog. But we know people in low places and will be taking care of everything the old school way. Plus we know a bunch of lawyers who haven't been fed in weeks.

In the immortal words of Jesus Quintana:
What's this day of rest shit? What's this bullshit? I don't fuckin' care! It don't matter to Jesus. But you're not foolin' me, man. You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus. This bush league psyche-out stuff. Laughable, man - ha ha! I would have fucked you in the ass Saturday. I fuck you in the ass next Wednesday instead. Wooo! You got a date Wednesday, baby!
Moving on...

I want to tell you about the losing streak I'm stuck in but I'm gunshy. It's been horrible and I won't reveal the bad beats. All you need to know is I'm down a good $600+ this week and my loses have been hovering around $3500 since All Souls Day. This is the exact reason why I haven't cashed out any of my bankroll this year aside to buy a laptop on Full Tilt winnings. You need the roll to absord the down swings. My last big winning day was at Hawaiian Gardens in California on the day I found out my grandmother died and even on that day, I got my aces all in preflop and they were cracked after some guy called my $350 bet with 9-9 and flopped a set. Since then my junk has been kicked in numerous times and grabbed at least twice by female poker bloggers.

Speaking of junk grabbing... everyone's favorite Hollywierd junkgrabber is in town. I hung out with her last night and then we headed over to MGM to play some cards. Grubby and his college buddy were playing NL. Change100 sat at a nice NL table with tons of guys wearing sunglasses and doing chiptricks. "A table of douche bags," she described to me.

I decided to stop playing NL, switch gears, and headed to a $4/$8 half-kill game. I've been making bad decisions playing NL the last 10 days so I headed back to the comforts of the limit tables. That was a nice game with plenty of action. Sadly I had high pocket pairs cracked and lost a monster kill pot with A-K. I flopped trip aces and a guy with A-J rivered his kicker. I didn't fault him. It's hard to get away from flopping trip aces. But that pot killed my spirit for the remainder of the night.

We left MGM around 3 or4am. I was down more than a full buy-in and we headed back to Excalibur. We ended up both getting royally fucked there.

Oh well, at least it's Wednesday around noon and it's not as cold as it has been in Las Vegas. I have my health. I still have a decent bankroll. And I have one last freelance thing to do and I'm done with work for the year.

As one of my fraternity brothers once said during an awful run at blackjack in Biloxi, "In order to win big.... lose big."

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