Wednesday, October 05, 2005

October Baseball, Think of London, Vegoose, and the Squirter

First of all, go read Otis. He was just in London covering the EPT. Now he's in Baden. That's in Austria for all you geographically challenged folks.

I'd love to head to Dublin at the end of the month, but I'll be in Las Vegas covering a WPT event and attending the Vegoose music festival. I gave up attending several summer music festivals this year in order to cover the WSOP. Which reminds me... I was lucky enough to score tickets to Widespread Panic on Halloween in Las Vegas in addition to a few other late night shows like Trey Anastasio Band and STS9. If anyone has any extras to Galactic, please let me know. By the way, I posted a short bit about Vegoose over at Las Vegas and Poker Blog. Take a peek.

October Glory

Last night marked the first of what I hope will be many long nights in October. My home town team, the Yankees took the first step towards regaining pinstripe glory with a 4-2 victory over the California Anaheim Los Angeles Angels. The Moose was loose! Mike Mussina looked excellent in his six innings. He was getting a lot of first pitch strikes to batters and he's tough to beat when he's ahead in the count. Moose's stellar pitching performance was much needed from the Yankees. Add Robinson Cano's huge bases clearing double during a two out rally in the first inning and that ended up being all the Yankees needed to take a quick 1-0 lead in a short series against the Angels.

Of course, the Red Sox lost to the White Sox earlier in the day and the Cards also took a 1-0 series lead. Tonight, the Yankees and Wang need to pick up one more win before they return home to the Bronx on Friday and have Randy Johnson pitch.

In today's action David Wells tries to even the score for the Red Sox in Chicago against Buehrle. And the Astros and the Braves play Game 1. I'd like to see a St. Louis Cardinals and NY Yankees World Series. What can I say, I'm an old school kinda guy.

Tao of Online Poker

I had been playing MTTs on Titan Poker recently and I've been getting whooped. I had to break out the "cup" to absorb all the kicks in the junk. I checked my notes/stats and I'm not joking when I say that every time I've gotten knocked out of a Titan Poker tournament, it's been on an awful bad beat. I feel like Phil Hellmuth. I guess it's that the players are so bad. I might be a monkey playing in a room filled with donkeys. Like the Rolling Stones said, "I'm just a monkey man."

I've been back to playing hit and run poker over at Party Poker. I've been jumping back and forth between the $3/6 tables and the $5/10 tables in quick sessions. I found myself playing $3/6 when I'm multi-tasking and $5/10 when can give it my full attention. I've also been lurking around the PLO tables where I've been flopping a bunch of monster redraws, but can't seem to pick any of those pots up. Man, I actually miss the days when I'd grind out 6-8 hour sessions on the $25 and $50 NL tables. OK, I don't actually miss those days, but I miss the freedom I had to be able to play for several hours straight.

I was invited to visit a new card room here in New York City by the owners of said room. I've been too busy with writing projects to sneak off. With the baseball playoffs, it makes it impossible for me to find any time this week to play.

Prop Bet of the Week: Senor and the Squirter

I guess this is the time where I'm supposed to write about the bachelor party I attended on Saturday in a swanky suite downtown. I'm not going to. Some things are best left un-blogged. Besides wives and girlfriends of friends of mine might be smart enough to check my poker blog in addition to my main blog to catch some juicy nuggets about this weekend.

I ain't gonna rat out my friends.

However, one of the funniest things I heard all weekend was when one of the strippers politely asked that no pictures be taken since she was a school teacher.

There's only one juicy nugget from this weekend that I'll share with you. It involves a prop bet, a squirter, and my buddy Senor. If you don't know what a "squirter" is, then you'll have to stop now and do a quick Google search or ask a co-worker or friend to clue you in on squirters. Or check out this NSFW link on female ejaculation. Like I said it's NSFW so you have been warned.

I'll wait a moment for you to do some quick research before I continue...

OK, so now you know what a squirter is. I expect that half of you are turned on while the rest are just mortified. Great. By the way, even Aristotle, one of our greatest philosophical minds, wrote about female ejaculation. And I shall briefly touch on the subject in this here poker blog. I have sunk to a new low. I pimped Party Poker and wrote about female ejaculation in the same post.

One of the "entertainers" we hired for the bachelor party had an impressive resume. Included in her list of tricks that should could perform was the rare act of squirting. She sat in a chair and ejaculated for us. Most of it collected and soaked into the cushion of the chair. The stain was roughly about the size of half a slice of a pizza. I turned to an inebriated Senor and offered him up a prop bet. I've known Senor since we were both 18 and pledged the same fraternity together. We've traveled all over the world together raising hell and he's the guy who started "Elevator Gambling" with me in Las Vegas many years ago. We've also done prop bets on three continents and in over twenty plus states.

As we both admired at the stain, I offered Senor $20 that he couldn't stick his nose in the squirter's puddle of ejaculation for ten seconds. He quickly said yes and parked his face and nose in the middle of the stain. We all counted out to ten seconds and Senor triumphantly collected $20 from me.

"It smelled like chicken broth," he added as he wiped his nose and took a huge swig on his glass of Johnny Walker Black.

Just another Saturday night of prop bets in the big city.

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