Friday, May 14, 2004

The Hilton Sisters

Poker Slang of the day: The Hilton Sisters are a pair of Queens... Nicky & Paris.

On a random WPT broadcast Vinny "Rum & Coke" Van Patten called a pair of Queens... The Hilton Sisters and it stuck with me ever since. I love that nickname. I used to call Q-Q... "The Bitches" because I used to lose to them all the time. Ever since I started calling them: Nicky & Paris... they have done me right.

I made Paris for the Queen of Diamonds. Am I right?

Here's the Paris Hilton bio from her TV's show's homepage, The Simple Life 2:
22-year-old Paris Hilton is the great-granddaughter of Conrad Hilton, founder of the Hilton hotel chain. With homes in Manhattan's Waldorf-Astoria, Beverly Hills and the Hamptons, she is a renowned jetsetter and socialite.

Hilton has developed a modeling career and has posed for such publications as GQ, Vanity Fair and FHM. She has also actively contributed in numerous fashion circles, often collaborating with top designers at their shows. Some of these designers and labels include Tommy Hilfiger, Joey and T, Heatherette, Richard Tyler and Jeremy Scott.

Hilton is currently focusing on an acting career. In 2001, she made a cameo appearance in Ben Stiller's film "Zoolander." Her additional film credits include roles in "Raising Helen", "Nine Lives" and "Wonderland" with Val Kilmer. She will also appear in the upcoming feature "The Cat in the Hat" with Mike Myers and recently wrapped production on the film "Win A Date With Tad Hamilton," with Kate Bosworth and Topher Grace.

Often a tabloid centerpiece, Hilton has been linked to numerous young actors on Hollywood's Hot List. Her interests include yoga, tennis and designing a high-end purse collection and jewelry line with her sister. She is also actively involved in numerous charities and has lent her support to various animal advocacy organizations.

Hilton is bi-coastal and divides her time between Los Angeles and New York.
What a total crock of shit. Here's what her resume should really say...
Paris Hilton's Bio: The Straight Dope by Tenzin McGrupp

The 22-year-old Paris Hilton is the luckiest woman in America. Her great-granddaddy Conrad Hilton made a shitload of cash building hotels for rich idiot Americans who were afraid to stay at local hotels abroad. She was given luxurious homes in the hippest places in America and spends less than two weeks of each year at these gaudy abodes, because she is busy flying all over the world shopping, fucking, drinking, and snorting things you never imagined could be shoved up that cosmetically shuffled nose of hers. And no... Paris has never flown Coach once in her life.

An unknown model just a few years ago, Paris was thrust into the mainstream by a foolish act of debacuhery, when shit faced hammered, she never realized that some pencil dicked retard video taped themselves having medicore sex. The camera work was shotty, the plot was stale, and the sound fuzzy. In short, her acting debut was less than spectacular, it was like she "phoned in her orgasm". Due to the insanity of the internet, everyone in the free world has seen the infamous video which launched a less than avergae acting career, but with some snazzy advertising, marketing, and brainwashing, everyone watched her TV show. And now she gets to hang out with people a lot cooler than you, and waste more money in a single weekend shopping spree than you will earn in your lifetime.

Often a tabloid centerpiece, Hilton has gone down on numerous young actors on Hollywood's Hot List and even some very fortunate, random valets parkers. Her interests include shopping, talking on the phone, and making fun of poor people. She was photographed in a local newspaper once, giving money to a homeless woman. But it was a mix up, she just gave a hagged out Courtney Love a quarter so she could make a phone call.

Hilton is openly bi-sexual and divides her time between the crotches of both men and women.
New season starts June 16.

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