Erratic Pauly

The last two weeks have been hectic for me with work and personal stuff going down. And I am not pleased to say that my poker play had suffered. Even my blogging has been spotty espeically this past week. My bankroll took a $300 hit in the last 2 weeks... and this is something I will address tomorrow in a new entry. If I had a terror warning color coded level alert... we'd be at bright fuckin' red.

The good news is that I am done with writing projects for a few weeks, so I can come back strong and pay full attention to poker and get my bankroll back up for my trip to Vegas in April. My run will begin tomorrow night with a rematch with Swish at Ferrari's Monday night game. On Tuesday, I'm driving up to Foxwoods with my brother and we're meeting Senor who booked a room for Tuesday night.

Alas, tonight is the Oscars... and Haley's having her annual Oscars party. I'm gonna be running a Oscars pool with her guests and I hope to collect bigtime making side bets. Yes, I will try to coax some of her intoxicated guests into playing a few hands of no limit hold'em. Struggling actors have tons of cash on hand... tip money from their jobs as bartenders and waitresses.

The Oscars are a huge event in Haleywood. To my dismay, I was given a choice by Haley earlier this week... wear a tux or shave. And guess what? My face feels as smooth as a baby's butt! And now I don't have to wear a monkey suit all night. I'm not a label whore and proud of it!

My favorite: Bill Murray... bet the farm on the guy. No way those old foggies at the Academy are going to vote for "a commie-pink-bastard like Sean Penn" for best actor.

Hopefully there won't be any catfights like at Haley's Golden Globes party. Stay tuned...

Coach's Corner: Nice Guys Finish Last...

Coach played in the final table of a local NYC WSoP satellite yesterday. He was one of seven and here's what he sent me:

Out of the tournament on the second hand of the finals. I had A (Diamonds) and Q (spades). Flop was A (spade), J (Diamonds) and 10 (Diamonds). Two players with me. On a big bet from the big blind, I called with my A. The third player folded. The 9 (diamonds). Another big bet, which I called. Then the 7 (diamonds) hit. The big blind went all in. I thought about it for a few minutes, flipped over my cards for everyone to see, and then called. He had the 8 (diamonds).

Can't say I don't go out in style. I'm okay with it -- for all of the three times I've caught 4 of a kind or a straight flush on the flop, something like this was bound to happen eventually.

Ouch, that really sucks. Burned by a straight flush. I was rooting for you. Better luck next time. Thanks for sharing. See ya on Monday.

Wil Wheaton's Poker Blogs...

Since Wil Wheaton is blogging about poker these days, I think he qualifies to play in the next poker bloggers tourney, right Iggy? I'm sure he'll get on the ball and invite Wil to play with us. Ben Affleck is too cool for us lowly scum of the earth poker bloggers. But Wil seems like a cool guy. I hope he considers playing.

Well, I had Wil's site linked up from my other blog. But I saw that Chris Halverson mentioned the link on his site. Wil's an active blogger and an excellent writer specifically when he talks about his first No Limit tournament at a sketchy place in Hollyweird. Check out: Lying in Odessa Part I. Here's a bit:

"You play poker, right?" my friend said to me a few weeks earlier, as we waited for the subway.

"Yeah. You have a game?" I said. I've been looking for something similar to The Tuesday Night Game ever since I read Big Deal.

"Sort of. You ever heard of the Odessa Room?"

I shook my head. "I'm spectacularly uncool, Shane, and I live in suburbia. What's the Odessa Room?"

"It's an honest-to-goodness speakeasy in Hollywood. Twice a month they have poker tournaments."

And make sure you take a look at his second entry: Lying in Odessa Part II. Here's a bit of that:

We play a few hands, but my cards are shit, and I don't get into any pots. It's okay, I'll be patient. Stick to the plan.

For a game in Hollywood, there's precious little coffehousing, until Mr. Lawyer says to me, "Hey guy, aren't you an actor?"

I hate that question, because I always have to answer, "I used to be."

"Whaddaya mean, 'used to be?'" Says the guy to my right. He's a Webmaster from Long Beach who could have saved an hour on the freeway and played at the Bicycle, but I find out later that he comes here because he's a starfucker.

"I haven't done any acting in a long time. I'm a writer now." This answer doesn't seem to satisfy them, so I say, "I only act when something really great comes along."

I think that Hdouble needs to give Wil some quick poker lessons.

Getting Ink... A Press Release

I love getting press. Affiliated Websites Submit Scripts to Project Greenlight is a press release with the tagline... "Two Web Creators submit screenplays to Project Greenlight."

Here's a bit:

(PRWEB) February 28, 2004 -- In a completely precedented move, Tenzin McGrupp and Alex Bernstein, creators of two affiliated websites have submitted separate screenplays to the newest Project Greenlight screenplay competition, the contest hosted by Hollywood superstars Ben Affleck and Matt Damon.

Mr. McGrupp creator of the popular web blog, TAO OF PAULY (http://mcgrupp.blogspot.com), has submitted "Sweet Nothing" a screenplay based on his online "Baby and Winky" stories. Mr. Bernstein has submitted "Prom On Mars," a script based on his web-comic PROM ON MARS (www.promonmars.com).

And how are the websites affiliated?

"We've got links at each other's websites," says Bernstein.

"Yeah. We don't know Ben or Matt or anything," says McGrupp. "But damn, it'd be cool to win PGL!"

Mr. Bernstein concurs.

In addition to the "Baby and Winky" stories, Mr. McGrupp's site plays host to a large community of interactive readers and authors. The site includes Mr. McGrupp's travelogues, Phish journalism and information on McGrupp's recent poker games.

Mr. Bernstein's site is driven purely by the "Prom on Mars" web-comic. There are numerous Prom features at the site, including Mr. Bernstein's own Prom Blog, FAQs and an archive featuring over 100 strips.

And, of course, a link to Mr. McGrupp's site.

Much thanks to Alex over at Prom on Mars for the shout-out. Best of luck this year.

The Tao of Felicia

Felicia recently wrote me this:

Time will cure all tourney woes. Your weaknesses will turn to strengths, then you will find new weaknesses...

Coach's Corner

Fellow poker buddy Coach from the Monday night games in NYC played in a WSoP satellite (he made it to the next round). Here's parts of the write-up he sent me:

"This is a $250 buy-in, with 49 entries (7 tables of 7) with final table on Saturday. Winner can either take $10,000 plus travel costs to enter to the WSOP or take $5,000 and walk away. If they choose the second option, places 2-7 also get prizes. If they take the first option, only second place also pays.

I won my table and will be playing in the finals on Saturday at noon. Needless to say, I feel quite lucky to have gotten there. The tournament went a grueling 6+ hours, a full 1.5 hours longer than any other first round entry. In the end, I wound up going head to head with, and quite frankly, almost losing to Lisa, the tournament organizer's wife, who was a last-minute, fill-in entry and who, if she is to be believed, has only been playing for a couple of months.

The day had an auspicious start -- playing in my 8:00 a.m. basketball run, I had a chance to play, for the third time, with Brian Koppelman. If that name isn't familiar, he's the fellow who wrote Rounders. When I told him what I would be doing later in the day, he actually took some interest, said that if we ever did anything like this again, he might be interested, and (without me asking) gave me a pep talk and some advice. Kind of like getting advice from John Wooden before going out and playing ball in a key playoff game.

Despite Mr. Koppelman's advice and blessing, I found myself down for the first 3 hours of the tournament, hovering between $11 and $14k in chips (we started with $15k). My first showdown of the day saw me lose with a flush when a 4th spade hit the Board, making my 9 lose to someone else's A. I managed to save myself an early exit about three or four times, laying down good hands which would have gotten crushed. Two good examples -- my QQ, faced with an A on the board and a big bet from the fellow who I was heads up with (he had AK suited); and, in the toughest decision I had before the final hand, I folded KQ with K-Q-10-7-2 (and three spades) on the board. The 10 was the last card, and it conveniently gave one player 3 10's and another a Broadway straight.

I did knock the first player out of the tournament, a fairly tight player from NJ, who was short stacked when his JJ lost to KK. I had AA (the only time all day), and an A came up in the flop. He checked, as did I. With a 8 on the Turn, we had A-8-7-2. He checked again, and I told the table, "I sense weakness," making a minimum bet. He raised all-in. I called, and he exposed 10-9, giving him an open-ended straight. He didn't catch it, and was toast.

The chip leader for most of the tournament was an Equity Trader named Scott. He had 3x as many chips as anyone else, having caught KK an unbelieveable 6 times in the first 2 hours. He blew his chance to coast to a win by getting really passive in the back end of the game. One prime example -- I raised out of the chute with 22. He called and we were heads up. For only the second time in my life, the board gave me quads -- 2, 2, 10. I checked, desperately hoping that he'd bet. He never did. We made it all the way to the river, and finally I bet 2k just to see if I could get anything from him. He folded. Sigh.

For the last 2.5 hours, it was Scott, Lisa, and me. I played as aggressively as I could, raising and collecting blinds with as poor a hand as 4-2. Both of them chickened out enough that I was able to fight all the way back to a slight chip lead. I regret that I do not remember the specifics of the hand I knocked Scott out on. All I remember is that neither of us was a lock, and that he didn't go all in until the river. That gave me something like an 85-20 lead on Lisa. She almost got me though.

I put her all in twice, and she won both times. The second time, when she had about 35k in chips, she called with 33 to my K6 suited. No help. Now trailing, I played very aggressively again, and managed to fight back to slightly ahead. That's when I got dealt J-4 offsuit, as the little blind. I called (blinds were now 1800-3600), and the flop came 5-J-5. I checked. She made a big bet (8k). I called. Next card was a 3. I checked again. She made a bigger bet (12k). I called again. A nine hit the board on the river. No straights or flushes possible, and I'm holding 2-pair. I checked. She went all in. I called (apparently I had only 400 more in chips than she did at the time). We both wished each other luck and said that we expected the other to win.

She rolled an A3, for a lower two pair. Whew!

I gather that although I may be a fan favorite at the final table, I will definitely be an underdog. One fellow, who played Saturday, is supposedly a known quantity from past WSOPs and was trying to find a cheap way back to Binions. Stay tuned."

Thanks Coach for sharing. I'm looking forward to hearing about how you did. Best of luck this weekend.

Party Poker Musings

I got to play with Jerry yesterday for a little over an hour. We were on the same table ($.50-$1)and he kicked ass. He won $35 plus in an hour playing the lowest limit! I won $20+ at the same table. It was good to us. When we moved tables, I got housed by some nimrod who called a pre-flop raise with 4-7 against my J-J! Oh well.

I played in two online tournaments this week at Party Poker (NL $5 + $1). On Monday, I placed 210 out of 944. First place paid $911. My A-10 suited lost to A-A and I got knocked out. This morning, I was shortstacked with A-A and I went all-in. The chipleader had Q-Q and called me. I lost when he flopped a Queen and I came in 393rd place out of 971. That was the biggest tournament I played in to date. First place paid $1019 and the Top 100 places were paid prize money.

Old friends Schanzer and Brad downloaded Party Poker software in the past week. My vision of putting together a famous Phis weekly poker game is almost a reality. I first played poker seriously in my fraternity house (Phi Delta Theta) in Atlanta. I'm getting my other pals, Bob and Senor to get with the program so I can request a private table on Party Poker and I can have a weekly game with my old fraternity brothers, who are separated by distance and each live in different cities (Providence, NYC, Chicago, DC, Miami, & Atlanta). The wonders of the interent can bring us together once a week or twice a month, just like old times. Once word gets out that we're having a regular game... more alumni will hop aboard and I can get a bi-weekly game going.

49 Days... Until Vegas!

I'm very excited. In seven week's I'll be in Las Vegas. I am bummed out that I'll miss Chris Halverson by one day. He's going to be there the weekend before me. Perhaps I can persuade HDouble and Mrs. Double to make the trip out from L.A. for one or two days... so we can school some fresh fish (college kids on a late Spring Break) in that $100 NL ring game at the Bellagio. Alas, I will be on a fishing trip, of sorts... Phish is playing three shows and is the main reason I'm going. I posted some nice pictures of Phish in Miami. Take a peek.

NYC Home Game #3

Last night I ventured to Ferrari's place for some action. Alas, Ugarte was AWOL once again due to a trip to Paris and Pakistan, although that's his cover story. I think he's afraid to play with me!

The Monday Night Poker line-up:

Seat 1: Swish (sports writer)
Seat 2: Coach (arrived late)
Seat 3: Rick
Seat 4: Ferrari
Seat 5: Matt (options trader)
Seat 6: Anthony (architect)
Seat 7: Joel
Seat 8: Pauly!

Anthony and Matt were two guys I never played with before. Yes Rick was all fired up to redeem himself after getting knocked out very early in the Grublog Poker Classic. He came out firing and didn't stop reloading all night! Yep, Rick took down over $300 to prove his early exit was just a fluke and he'll be a force to be reckoned with next time! (Editor's Note: I could not help myself... I wanted to incorporate some Fat Guy speak into my blog... and "reckoned" was the best a Yankee like myself could muster up!)

Alas, early on I got schooled by Rick heads-up in a Seven Card Stud game. I forgot the specifics but he had a fullhouse and I had a weak two pair. Rick took $35 of my money that pot.

In a game of Omaha hi/lo... Anthony caught four 6s! He had pocket 6s and he caught runner-runner 6s on the turn & river to beat Ferrari in one of the weirdest pots of the night.

Big Pots!

Let me say that last night was only my third appearance at Ferrari's... but there were no less than 6 pots that were over $120 each!! A few were bigger. The Anaconda (the game where you pass 3 cards to your right... then 2 cards... then 1...) games got out of control. I won one with a full house 9s over 6s when Anthony had K-K-A-A showing... I had a feeling he was bluffing the fullboat and I was correct. Another time, I was attempting to lock up a low hand... and I passed three eights (one eight each time)... to Joel on my right. It was a costly mistake, because he had four eights!! Ferrari hazed me pretty good and the rest of the night I made sure I knew exactly what I gave away.

By 11:30 I was down $35 after playing 4 hours. Rick was on a huge run. He had stacks and stacks of $5 chips.

Coach came a little late and won a big Omaha pot with a straight. I had to split a low-pot with Anthony when we both had A-2. I lost money on that hand.

The crowd filtered out by 1am. And I was down a little bit. There were four of us left... here's the late night line-up:

Seat 1: Swish
Seat 2: Ferrari
Seat 3: Matt
Seat 4: Pauly

I called a round of $4-8 hold'em, which was the only game all night where I won some decent money. I am on the button, Swish bets and I bring in a raise with Ah-8h. The flop: As-9h-6h. I have top pair with a nut flush draw. Swish bet and I re-raised. On the turn: 8c. I now have two pair with one more card for a flush. Swish bet and I re-raised. However, he re-raised me back! Since there was no cap on betting between heads up we went back and forth, betting four or five times before he just called. I started to worry about what he had. The river: 5h. I just got my nut flush. Swish bet and I raised. He re-raised! I could not believe it... there's not a better feeling in poker than when someone raises you when you have the nuts! We went back and forth a couple of times re-raising each other. That's when Swish said, "Look, we're going to be doing this all night. How many chips do you have left? Let's just end this now."

I had $29 left. The pot was well over $100 at that point. I went all-in and he called. I turned over my nut flush and he flipped over A-7o. He caught a straight on the river and I had him beat the entire hand. He shook his head and said something like, "I didn't expect the flush!" Ouch. Now I went up $50! I was down all night and that swing put me into positive territory. It was all downhill from there.

Wild Card Games = Poor Pauly

Swish got his revenge on me. During a round of Seven Card Stud (with Deuces wild) I lost when I had three aces. Swish slow rolled his down cards and said something like, "You know that move Three Kings? Well... I got four of them!" He turned over two 2s and two Kings. Ouch. Fuckin' wild cards cost me $75.

I decided to call Seven Card No Peek... which is seven cards down and you can't look. The first guy turns over his card and he bets. The next player turns over his cards until he can beat the guy before him, etc... I lost a huge pot to Swish's higher full house. Here's how the game unfolded:

Swish: 10
Ferrari: ???
Matt: 4-10-A
Pauly: 9-9
Swish: 10-10
Ferrari: out
Matt: 4-10-A-5-A
Pauly: 9-9-x-6-6
Swish: 10-10-10
Matt: out

Now I knew I needed another six or nine to make a full house. I had 4 outs with two cards to come.

Pauly: 9-9-x-6-6-x-6

Yikes! I bet the max... $10 (in cash... I had to use pocket money) and Swish called.

Swish: 10-10-10-J

So far so good.

Swish: 10-10-10-J-J

Now fucking way! That was the exact order of his cards... a set of 10s then two consecutive Jacks to end my run. Swish took back all his money. I was pissed.

Yes, I never had to rebuy before at Ferrari's. My $100 buy-in was smoked. And I already lost $10 in pocket money. I bought in $40 and got smoked playing Follow the Queen. No wonder I have serious issues with women. My three Aces were no match for Swish's hand. He called three aces (he had an ace with 2 queens) but he realized that he had a straight somewhere.

I lost all my money! $150 total loss for the night. I had a $200 swing take place in less than ninety minutes. I should have left when Coach and Rick took off. Yeah, I should had went home to watch movies with Haley. Instead, Swish took all my money!

Final Tally:
Rick +314
Swish +80
Matt +15
Coach +13.50
Ferrari +2.50
Joel -100
Anthony -100
Pauly -150

I was the big loser. Ouch. I hate wild card games. I left around 2:40am. Matt, Ferrari & Swish played untill past 3am!

What did I learn last night?

There's an old punchline to a joke:

Teacher: What is the moral of the story, Jimmy?

Jimmy: Don't fuck with Uncle Ed when he's been drinking.

I didn't want to bore you with the rest of the joke. Bottom line... I have not been playing well the last two weeks. I should have played more passive in the wild card games. Alas, I will sit down and plug the leaks in my game and blog my progress report as soon as possible. Until then... see ya, Pauly!

Oh a special P.S. for Swish... I'm coming to get you!

Schanzer on TV today at 1pm

My buddy Jon Schanzer sent me this in an e-mail:

I'll be doing a hit on Fox News today at a minute or two after 1pm EST (Dayside with Linda Vester) to discuss my piece in the Weekly Standard, as well as some other stuff.

Here's a link to his article: Saddam's Ambassador to al Qaeda from this current issue of The Weekly Standard, which has been getting some great feeback including someone from the VP's office. He talks about his recent trip to Iraq. Here's the tagline to his article: An Iraqi prisoner details Saddam's links to Osama bin Laden's terror network... Good work, Rib!

Monday Morning Musings...

First Draft Complete

I finished the first draft of The Baby and Winky Movie sometime Saturday night. The screenplay is 217 pages. It's a monster! The original manuscript, Sweet Nothing: The Baby and Winky Novel, was only 52,000 words and the screenplay is 3,000 words less... after I cutout several sections. The formatting makes the screenplay longer. I'm going to post more specifics later this week to my regular blog, in addition to a writing sample.

Happy Pauly

Now it's time to celebrate. There's another home game tonight hosted by Ferrari. I'll talk to Rick from Rick's Cafe & Ugarte's Poker Grovel tonight about his thoughts on last night's event.

Parting Thoughts: About Last Night

Alas, the NYC boys did not do so good, with Rick busting out 31st and me out soon after in 23rd. But the Jersey boys kicked ass. Sean and Tight Pocket played strong. Is there anyone else I'm forgetting from the area? I hope maybe I can get together with those guys sometime... I'll drag Rick and Ugarte down to AC for some pokerblogger-fishfry at the Borgata.

I also want to say that I was unable to say hello and talk with everyone. I apologize! I tried my best and I did not recognize names/sites/faces... I did not get the chance to meet-and-greet everyone. Next time I hope there's a forum where we can all talk.. kinda like a Loser's Lounge where I can watch Iggy do keg stands of Guinness, get commentary from Phil Gordon, and share bad beat tales with my fellow bounced bloggers.

I'm sure you'll agree the first event was very hectic and there was almost too much to handle at times. I was jacked up on herbal supplements, trying to watch 3 or four tables, chatting with the guys at my table, and playing my crappy 7-7 against the table bully HDouble... all at the same time! I would have overloaded if I put on Sex in the City: The Final Episode.

Until then, see ya. McG

New Comments Feature

I added a comments feature to the Tao of Poker in order to make this a more Penguin friendly site. Normally, I'm not a fan of the comments becuase I had a bad experience on my main blog last year... but I figure I'd give it a shot for a while on a trial basis. So... Mr. Penguin... comment away!

Grublog Poker Classic... Pauly Takes 23rd Place

I had a great time playing with my fellow poker bloggers! There were 32 players (each forking over $20) for a prize pool of $640. First place took home $256! And the first six places paid out.

Cngrats to: Mean Gene who took home the first WBPT event! He edged out The Fat Guy who won a hand with four Kings! Wow... I was rooting for the Fat Guy!

Alas, if you don't know... Mean Gene is also running for President! He'll now have some more campaign funds! Congrats again to Mean Gene, the Fat Guy, all my fellow poker bloggers, and expeically to... Grubby, who hosted this event!

The Final Table:
1. Mean Gene
2. The Fat Guy
3. Anisotropy
4. Poker Code
5. Grubby
6. Poker Penguin
7. Felicia Lee
8. Love & Casino War
9. Life of Falco
10. The Cards Speak

HDouble had a mini-write-up on his site. Here's what he wrote about me:

Poor Pauly. I made a loose call with J2h in the big blinds, and flopped J2. Pauly called me to the river with his pocket 9s, and it didn't leave him much room to work with. Pocket 9s seemed to be the big loser this tourney...

Actually I think that I folded Q-Q to HDouble's J-2 two pair! It was not happy to do that, but HDouble had been bullying me all night! I'm sure that fellow NYC player Rick was busted on 9-9. He caught his set on the flop and lost to a straight on the river.

Here's some of the funniest chatter of the night when The Fat Guy went all-in against Mean Gene:

Penguin: jeez - I fold another hammer, the flop would have been a winner
Penguin: I'm an idiot
grubby: there's a move!
McGrupp: whoooo hoooo gl fatguy
Penguin: he's got nothing
Mean Gene: this is a toughie
Penguin: I saw him wink
thefatguy: lol
Dealer: Take it down thefatguy ($2245)
CDF12345: he winked with his asshole
McGrupp: nice!
CDF12345: like a talented stripper
shftleft: you can say asshole but not ****
Dealer: Please keep all table chat clean!
thefatguy: you don't know how talented my asshole is, sir...

No Odds... Sorry!

I never got around to posting the odds. I'm sorry about that. It was originally a joke... not to be taken seriously. Alas, I was swamped with work this past weekend, in addition to making a Feb. 28th deadline for both Project Greenlight and my literary blog-zine Truckin'. The good news is that I finished the first draft of the screenplay! I hope to work on Truckin' this week.

23rd!!

I got knocked out now... I was doomed. I had very little chips and the blinds ate up most of my stack. On the button, I had Q-J suited. I went all-in with $295. I got two callers... K-x from Chigins and 10-10 from Poker Watch Dan... A-J-3 was the flop and I was leading... and a K fell on the river to end my night!

Countdown...

While most of my female friends are getting pumped for the last episode of Sex and the City... I am gearing up for tonight. I hope that I can make the "final table"... but as long as I don't get knocked out first, I'll be happy.

Alas in the immortal words of Homer J. Simpson...

"And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"

Quote of the Day

"I don't want to advocate the use of drugs, violence, or insanity, but in my case it certainly has worked." - Hunter S. Thompson

Pauly's Week of Prep for the Grublog Classic

Haley asked, "What the fuck is that under your pillow?"

I answered, "The Bible!"

I have been sleeping with Doyle Brunson's Super System under my pillow the last few nights. I hope the words from the Master himself will seep into my brain during my sleeping hours.

I have been running 10 miles each night and doing power yoga for no less than four hours a day. When I meditate, all I can envision are flops, flops, and more flops.

I have been taking notes from other bloggers... I decided to take the best of what I have read and apply it to my tourney prep. If I want to beat my fellow bloggers, I have to get inside their heads. Haley explained it to me... from an actor's standpoint... sort of like how method actors (such as Marlon Brando and Robert De Niro) prepare for a difficult role.

So in order to beat them, I must become them!

For example, out a page of Iggy's daily diet, I am drinking Guinness like it's water. I have consumed enough Guinness in the last week that I could drown an entire tiny Japanese fishing village. I also ran up a huge tab at the Cedar Tavern so now I have to win the next two blogger tourneys if I want to pay off my bar bill by St. Patrick's Day. Oh, the Guinness... I have put on 10 pounds, the women that live in my apartment building seem a lot more attractive these days, but I feel more confident about going all-in with 10-9 off suit.

Right off of Grubby's site, I am following his diet. I am devouring Wendy's in a frenzied manner, much like Bill Clinton's weakness for donuts and interns. Frosty's taste awesome at 11am in the morning, especially when you dip your fries into them.

Like HDouble, I started memorizing EV charts and totally scrutinized all of my hand histories. Now I am dreaming about percentages. For example, during my last dream... I was on a beautiful sandy beach sipping a pina coloda with one of those pink umbrellas, when a leggy model walked up to me slightly dripping from a quick dip in the ocean. She is wearing one of those dental floss thin bikinis. Before I started talking to her, I realized, I had just a 4% chance of seeing her naked. So I folded!!

And yes, I took the Fat Guy's advice... "Get your war face on!" Alas, I have been watching continuous showings of Apocalypse Now and A Clockwork Orange... to pump me up for Sunday. I stole some of Haley's lipstick and marked my face with various streaks of L'Paige Chocolate and pink frosted... a cheap substitue for war paint... but I thought I looked fabulous! The boys from Queer Eye would have been impressed with blending of both shades.

Watch out. I'm pumped... drunk... and fired up for some poker!

New Poker Blogs

There are some new blogs out there that I am finally linking up. I just got around to reading the new ones. Check them out.

1. College and Poker is a poker player from Iowa named Eric. His site is the "poker exploits of a poor college student." Thanks for the link up!

2. Poker for the Masses is run by Chips. Here's the tagline for his site: "And when I say "Masses", I mean fish." He has a cool Jerry Garcia related quote up today. Thanks for the link up!

3. The Daily Grind is another great site. Thanks for the link up!

4. Poker Flatulence is "the consequences of playing too much online poker..."

5. Single Malt Poker is an online poker player. He has a link to his other poker site that cover his local games.

6. Ralph Nader Chocolate Jam is an online player named Dave.

7. Ace Sloth is a poker player from Alabama.

Re: Poker Blogger Intern Needed

Every since the infamous Poker Blogger Intern Needed post, I have been getting some great responses. Here is the original blog:

Poker Blogger Intern Needed...

Responsibilities will include: writing up detailed reports of fellow poker bloggers bad beat tales, driving me to Atlantic City and Foxwoods, finding poker related articles on the web, searching out loose live games in card rooms around NYC, dealing poker at home games, taping various poker shows on TV, spell-checking my blog, crank calling Phil Hellmuth, and sending Iggy pony kegs of Guinness.

Must have: basic knowledge of poker, a sunny temperment, and a car with a CD player...

And the funniest responses:

1. Paris, a Tao of Poker fan from Miami (via Toronto) sent me this unexpected e-mail a week or so ago:

Hello, I am enjoying your well-written site immensely. Like yourself, I enjoy playing poker and my favourite venues are the poker rooms at The Bellagio and The Mirage. Texas Hold'em is also my preferred game. I smiled when I read about your (wistful?) post for a poker intern. It actually appealed to me on several levels and I thought I would run my qualifications by you... (smile).

Writing: I have a knack for painting pictures with words. Others have thought so too and published a few of them.

Research: You can't write effectively without that tool. Add six years (and counting) of University studies and I am confident in that realm. Ditto the spellchecking ;)

NYC rooms and dealing cards: I was press-ganged into dealing poker and blackjack at two different ones by my cousin who still runs them. Unfortunately, I no longer live there. Nobody is perfect ;)

How do you stop the time blinking on your VCR: No need...TIVO works great for all your recording needs and playback on my 61" HDTV lets you see every "poker face" in detail.

Beer Provisioning: A good friend who owns a bar in Glasgow can supply all the fresh Guinness one might desire. If Iggy is very good, he can also have an authentic Guinness bar mat for his counter.

Phoning Phil: He won't know what hit him... there are crank calls by men but then there are calls from women... piece of cake... (smile)

Driving: I have the most gorgeous Lexus convertible that I treated myself to when I moved to Miami two months ago. Unfortunately, the operative word is Miami and won't help you out for AC and Foxwoods.

At any rate, thanks for the good read. I go to Vegas at least 4 times a year... perhaps we will share a table some time. Cheers, Paris

Dear Paris, At first I thought someone was playing a prank on me... but then I realized that you are who you say you are! Thanks for your e-mail and your offer to be my intern! You got the job! Glad that you like the site... maybe I'll see you in Vegas in 2 months! See ya, McG


2. HDouble wrote:

In response to your ad, I feel I'm a great candidate for the job. I already spend many hours a day reading blogs, and I am very familiar with the drive to Foxwoods. I may not have the sunniest of temperaments, but I make up for it with my ability to use physical violence if anyone threatens my boss. I'm asking for 40K a year in chips at Foxwoods, as well as a place to crash in the City. I look forward to working for you, Mr. McGrupp.

Dear Mr. Double, I loved your response... especially the "ability to use physical violence" part!! I could always use two or three interns! Hop aboard! See ya, McG

Thought of the Day

"What discourages opponents from coming is the prospect of harm." - Sun Tzu

President Gene?

Yes... according to a recent Tao of Pauly & Tao of Poker poll 'Mean' Gene Bromberg leads the pack of Presidential front runners! Here's the breakdown:

1. Gene Bromberg (Poker Blogger) 28.8%
2. George W. Bush (R) 21.3%
3. John Kerry (D) 18.8%
3. Howard Dean (D) 18.8%
5. John Edwards (D) 12.5%

There were 80 participants in this poll!

Jerry & Schanzer at the Dog Track

Last night, my buddies Jerry and Schanzer played at the Hollywood Greyhound Track. Schanzer was in Miami for a lecture and they met up afterwards to play some hold'em. Here's what Jerry wrote me:

Last night was fun - we got to the track and were seated - at the same table. Got mostly crap to play early and then took the definitively worst bad beat I have ever had! I am holding pocket 7s and stay in for the flop - a 7 falls with the rainbow and slim straight possibilities - I am happy - I bet and like 4-5 others are still in. The turn is a 10 - we are betting and raising and re-raising. Then the river is a 10 - I have my full house and am fired up thinking someone may have a set of tens - me and this young black lady - pretty cool (we had a fun table for a while - very freindly and easy going) kept raising - so when it's done she turns over her pocket 10s for 4 of a kind!!!! SHIT!! I show my full house and everybody breaks up - but all good natured. About a $50-60 pot in $1-2!

Next hand - I get A-6 and am on full tilt - I call and when an A-6 falls on the flop - I am on it and luckily a few others stay in and I take a nice pot about $20-25. We take a break - come back and I think the second I am holding A-10 and raise (one end of table stayed in all the time 2-3 off; 9-6 off etc) the flp comes down Q-K-J and I got the nut straight - so I work the pot up and a few stay in - I draw it out - check my cards between cards and bets etc. - but keep raising - and take home a $40-50 pot. NICE! I then slowly pissed a bit away playing loose but ended up like $12.50 up - not bad for a late jaunt to the Dog Track on a Tuesday night. I think I won 4 pots all night and only played in about 12-14. Anyway - there is my bad beat tale that luckily was followed by a nice win. By the way, the track was crowded - 11 full tables going. Schanzer ended up down $18 - but he played alot of hands - and went on a nice win streak in the middle - good to see the monkey man - he is coming back down in the end of march hopefully for like 4 days - WHOA - could be time to take him to the Sook!

Bummer about that FULL HOUSE!

I am a slug...

I am still under the weather and managed to get the screenplay up to 63 pages. I cut a few scenes already to save time. Will definitely be working all weekend. Hope to have the first draft done by the time I sit down to play in the Grublog Classic! I finally signed up, by the way. I see that there are 17 of us so far.

Yesterday... Bad Beat City, USA

I played a couple of NL SNGs to prep for Sunday. Alas, it was a harsh day at the tables. I played a lot better than Monday, but got a slew of bad beats. I got knocked out first in one of the SNGs! That has never happened to me before. I had A-A in the little blind. A guy in early position (second or third) bets 2x the BB. I raise 4x the BB. He goes all-in... this is the third or fourth hand of the game!! Well, I got A-A so I call. He has J-10 off suit. Guess what? Flop: 10-x-x. Turn: x. River: J. Ouch... I quickly e-mailed HDouble my bad beat and he responded:

Dammit! You played this guy like a fiddle... why the f--k did he come back over the top of you?? Ah well, these are the guys that make us money. Great play by Pauly, bad result.

And I can't believe you let Haley bluff you!

Alas, it felt good to be consoled. And yes, I realized that my "street cred" has been ruined by Haley's Bluff.... which was a serious indication that I need to work on bth my poker game and my relationship. The word is out... damn the internet! Even poker players in China now know that I play loose and that I can be bluffed.

Today...

I took a break after writing all night to play in a 10:30 am EST multi-table NL tournament ($5 + $1) on Party Poker. That would be my last time to play online before the Sunday blogger tourney. I came in 89th last week, and this week there were over 827 entrants. First 90 places pay in the money and I was determined to grind my way to a Top 50 finish.

Alas, I played super tight and my K-Q suited took down J-J. It was a scary flop: A-K-10... I went all on the river when a King fell to give me a set of Kings... then it go ugly. My Q-Q went up against an A-J suited AND pcoket aces... the A-A knocked us both out. I played only two hands in 90 minutes... and ended up 292nd.

Busy Pauly

I am in the middle of writing a screenplay. Yesterday, I cranked out 50 pages. I am adapting one of my unpublished novels, and so far, I've gotten through 3 of 14 chapters. I don't have much time to blog and play poker this week... and I will update the poker blogger roll later this week. I have at least 5 more blogs to link up. Stay tuned.

Unfocused Pauly

During a break from writing, I hopped on Party Poker and got my ass kicked. I dropped $67 playing NL $25 ring games. I played too many hands. And all my high pairs got cracked. I played like shit. The fish were biting back! I realized the sole reason I played bad was... me. I was seriously distracted, and kept thinking about my script, when I should have been "in the moment" and forgot about alll the mental discipline that I had been developing. Oh well.

Today is a new day. I learned another humbling lesson... do not sit down to play unless I can devote my entire attention to poker.

Felicia's Poker Talk

Finally... Felicia Lee has a brand new site! Check it out.

Thought of the Day

"Take care not to let mechanical intelligence burden your mind; Watch what is not temporal and remain unmoved by things." - Lao Tzu

Haleywood Home Game

Haley invited some of her friends over for a night of poker. I should have realized it was going to be a different night when Haley passed a sushi menu around when her guests arrived. That was a first of many firsts over the night. I never ate sushi at a poker game before. The players varied from two beginners to two regular casinos players. And here's the line-up:

Seat 1: Pauly
Seat 2: Haley (our hostess)
Seat 3: Josh (Investment Banker, Jenna's brother)
Seat 4: Jenna (assistant editor)
Seat 5: Briana (the "Elevator Button" heiress)
Seat 6: Sandy (computer programmer by day, drag-queen by night)
Seat 7: Skye (actress/waitress)

My brother had to work, so I asked Josh to sit in. I wanted at least one other person who knows how to play to be there to help out the lesser-experienced players. Josh is a solid player and has played in Vegas and Reno before, but he's a definite calling station! Jenna is Haley's old roomie at Columbia. She's is a very quiet person in general and takes her time before she makes any decisions. Briana is a riot. Her grandfather started his own business when he was twenty years old. He started making buttons for elevators and after WWII, there was an 80% chance that any button you pressed in an elevator on the East Coast was made by his company. Briana is the heiress of said fortune. (Can you say dead money?) Sandy is a drag queen that Haley knows from her acting class. He looks like a young Sidney Poitier and was a good poker player. Skye is an chain-smoking actress from California. Enough said.

The first two hours were slow. Haley made Margaritas and everyone got sloshed very quickly. It was supposed to be a tutorial on poker, instead everyone was fooling around too much and joking around. I eventually settled everyone down and told the newbies what hands beats what. I made cheat sheets for everyone and dealt out play chips. We played dealer's choice. And five-card draw with multiple wild cards seemed to be the most popular game. They crew liked Baseball (3 & 9 wild, buy a card with a 4) and Follow the Queen. I got them to play rounds of Hold'em which they all picked up quickly. After the sushi came, it was time to play for real money.

Everyone bought in for $20 and we played twenty-five cent antes, with $1 max bet per round. Haley dealt first and she called Seven-card stud with threes wild. Of course she dealt herself two threes and took the first pot. Within the hour, Briana had to do a re-buy. She won a huge pot of Hold'em when she flopped two queens and an ace when she held A-Q. But it was all downhill from there.

By midnight, the tally looked like this:

Pauly +20
Josh +10
Haley +10
Sandy +10
Skye -5
Jenna -5
Briana -40

At one point, Briana asked, "So when the hell do I get to go all-in?"

I laughed. She had been watching too much Celebrity Poker Letdown. I told her that we're playing Limit poker. If she wanted to play No Limit, well that's a different story. I quickly convinced everyone to put up $20 for a mini No Limit tournament. Can you say quick cash? $140 winner takes all. Everyone agreed. Blinds were $1-$2 and would go up every twenty minutes.

Jenna was the first to get knocked out. I felt bad. I had K-J suited. She had A-3. I caught a flush on the flop. She quietly bowed out. When the blinds went up to $2-$4, Sandy made a pre-flop raise. Everyone called. I had 9-8 on the button. The flop: A-A-9. Haley folded. Josh went all-in. Briana called. So did Skye! Sandy called and I folded! Everyone turned over their cards. Sandy had 9-9! His fullhouse was leading. I was glad I folded. Josh and Skye both had aces with face card kickers. And Briana? She had the Hammer!! Beware of a Prada wearing, hammer wielding elevator button heiress! OK, so on the turn: 2 and on the river: 8. Sandy took down a huge pot and knocked out three people! He was the chip leader by a huge lead, with me and Haley left.

Haley's Big Bluff

I'm on the button, I got J-J. I was going to raise, but at the last moment, I decided to smooth call. Haley is the little blind and she raises! Sandy called and I had to make a decision. I carefully studied Haley. She was very quiet and avoiding eye contact. She played fairly tight all night. I had to presume she had a pocket pair, maybe Queens? I had to re-raise to find out. If she called, I had her. If she raised, I would be in trouble. I raised. Haley quickly re-raised! Sandy folded and I had to make a tough decision. I didn't have too many chips left, and neither did Haley. Maybe she was trying to steal the blinds? But would she know about that level of strategy involving short-handed play? She couldn't know. She must have a hand. Even if she didn't have a pair, a king or an ace would be death if one of them hit a flop. I just called. I had to see a flop.

A-Q-5

D'oh! I made her for Queens. But what if she has an ace? As soon as I dealt the flop, I saw her eyes glance at her chips when the Ace fell. Haley goes all-in. She's got at least one ace, possibly pocket aces. I would be drawing dead. I peeked at my cards. I was about to fold when Briana yelled out, "She's obviously bluffing you!"

I stopped and looked at Haley again. Was she bluffing me? She's an actress after all. Could she pretending to be bluffing, and actually have a real hand, and wants me to call? I started thinking too much and over analyzed the situation. Haley's played Stella in A Street Car Named Desire. She's been Ophelia in Shakespeare's Hamlet. She's got acting in her blood. She has to be bluffing. But then I recalled how she was really quiet when she first got her cards. I thought of the old adage... "if a fish acts weak, he's got a hand." I turned over my Jacks and pushed the pot towards Haley. Everyone was shocked. Even Haley.

"You have a saying, 'No free cards!' And you told me never to show my cards, but I'm dying to show you what I have," she said almost falling out of her chair.

At that point, I knew she didn't have pocket aces. Haley flipped over: 3-8 off suit. Ouch. That hurt. I was so embarrassed! Haley won't stop talking about it. Three long days later, she still won't shut up!

"I bluffed Mr. Tao of Poker!"

Two hands later, I knocked her out when I went all-in with J-10 suited and flopped a straight. I was heads-up with a drag queen! At some point I asked Sandy how he/she learned how to play poker. Sandy replied, "The Army!" I was shocked. Don't ask, don't tell, right?

I didn't have enough chips and lost when my Q-Q lost to a 6-7 suited when Sandy caught a flush on the river. Sandy walked away with $140 ($150 total). I broke even.

Haleywood Home Game Final Tally:
Sandy +150
Pauly 0
Josh -10
Haley -10
Skye -25
Jenna -25
Briana -60

Thought of the Day

"Know your enemy and know yourself and you can fight a hundred battles without disaster." - Sun Tzu, The Art of War

For the Poker Penguin!

NYC Poker Babe in Las Vegas, Part II...

NYC Poker Babe is tearing it up in Vegas. She's hitting the tables at the Bellagio during the night, when she should be sleeping! Here's some of what she sent me the other night:

Oh painful night. What started out quite triumphantly ended up ugly. Another night at the poker room at the Bellagio ... three nights in a row... yesterday was a brief 45 minute session as my table mates were just so damn talkative and it was getting on my nerves. This one guy just kept asking me questions about my job and at one point I told him I was done working and I didn't want to talk about my job and work stuff (he too is in Vegas for the shoe convention but is an exhibitor). So I lost a quick $60 and called it a night.

Tonite was a different story. Walked into that room -- no wait (no wait yesterday either). Another 4/8 game... great start... I won two 70 dollar-ish pots almost back to back... it was a beautiful thing. But how can you walk away? I had only played a few hands so I didn't want to leave. But then it got increasingly ugly when my flopped sets would be beaten by a higher kicker (I think that happened 3 times) and some other bad beats. Then my table was a broken table so we (5 of us) got placed at other tables. First hand started well...I had pocket 9s that turned into a set at the river (the other cards were rags and maybe one K). Last person heads up with me folded and I won the pot (about $50). The worst hand (for luck) was when it was heads up and the board was something like J3ATx -- well of course I had the nuts KQ suited (clubs) -- it went back and forth for a million reraises and what happened? Yup, it was a chop. So bummed. I have a great hand at last and I have to split the pot. It sucked!

I still have yet to make a positive return on my money -- but I can't help just playing and learning more and more about the game... I almost signed up for the 100 buy-in no limit game at 1/2 blinds... I might have to try it tomorrow nite.

Love & Casino War...

There have been some great posts on Love and Casino War this past week... on poker movies, the costliest hand in online hold'em, and RFB limits.

A-Rod to Yanks?

Oh my goodness! A-Rod Willing to Play 3B is one of the lead stories on ESPN. Here's a bit:

Now it's the New York Yankees who are trying to trade for Alex Rodriguez. The American League champions and the Texas Rangers were closing in Saturday on a deal that would bring A-Rod to the Bronx for second baseman Alfonso Soriano and a player to be named... Newsday reported on its Web site Saturday afternoon that A-Rod is so desperate to get out of Texas that he'd be willing to switch positions to play at third base, allowing Yankees captain Derek Jeter to stay at shortstop.

Rodriguez hit .298 last season with 47 homers, 118 RBIs and 17 stolen bases, and Soriano batted .290 with 38 homers, 91 RBIs and 35 steals.

Happy Birthday, Haley!!

Yes, today is the Tao of Poker's second favorite actress's birthday! Haley turns 24 today!

(I will write the report of her home game... soon!)

Project Greenlight 3

News from Hollywood... the screenplay contest Project Greenlight 3 was officially announced on Monday. The deadline is Feb. 29th!! This year, the series will be aired on Bravo instead of HBO. Same format. Here's what Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, and the gang over at Miramax are looking for:

Are we looking for a certain type of screenplay? Actually, yes we are. We are looking for "genre" projects that have a powerful impact, like Horror or Thriller -- projects that really grab the audience's imagination and attention. Of course we will be open to considering other kinds of projects because we appreciate creativity and innovation.

Alas, I will certainly submit something for this event! For the last contest PGL2, my screenplay Charlie's Goldfish almost made the Top 250... but one bad review prevented me from advancing to the next round. Perhaps this year, maybe Matt & Ben will pick a fellow poker player instead of the goofballs they selected for the last two contests.

Alas, should I pen an new script? OR re-submit Charlie's Goldfish? OR should I adapt one of my unpublished manuscripts into a screenplay? I'l llet you decide in a brand new poll:



Yes, I know that Haley had been working on and re-writing her screenplay for over a year!! And she's going to enter as well.

If you do not know... I wrote four manuscripts in the last few years. Three of them have their own blogs! For more information and novel excerpts, check out:

1. Jack Tripper Stole My Dog
2. Sweet Nothing: The Story of Baby & Winky
3. The Blind Kangaroo

2004 WSoP

Here's an interesting read called: Poker Draws Major Attention. And a little bit:

Although ESPN made its contract with former Horseshoe owner Becky Binion Behnen, Harrah's will honor the deal. The 2004 WSOP will start on April 22 and culminate with a $10,000 buy-in, no-limit, hold 'em championship at the downtown casino on May 22. ESPN will film the entire event to run as a seven-part series consisting of about 20 one-hour episodes.

Wow, that sounds cool... 20 episodes! That's the equivalent to a season long drama. Some TV sitcoms and dramas only sign a 26 episode run, and that is considered an entire season.

Welcome Back... Iggy!

"Allrighty then, I'm back & posting every day. Prepare for an uber-long, Guinness-fueled poker post. I may not be top ten, but I'm drunk..."

Iggy is back with a monster post. I had to get two of my interns to print the lengthy post up... so I could read it on the shitter!! Great to have you back!

Thought of the Day

"No matter what you do, act on the thought as it arrives without deliberation." - Suzuki Shosan

Haley's Home Game... Pauly Spanked by a Drag Queen

I don't have the time to blog all the details of Haley's poker game last night! It was a crazy event, and I got very drunk, something I never do when I play cards. Most of the details are cloudy at best. I broke even and did not lose any money.

The highlights included Haley's bluff of the century, after she put a wicked move on me and bluffed at a huge pot when we were playing a mini No Limit tournament... alas, I finished in 2nd out of seven players... and lost all my chips to a Drag Queen!! Yeah, he/she was a friend from Haley's acting class... and he/she walked away with $140 in prize money!! If I didn't fall for Haley's bluff, I might have had more chips and I never would have let the Queen of Chelsea take me down!! More details and a complete write-up on Saturday... stay tuned.

Another Hour of Power

"It's like deja-vu all over again!" - Yogi Berra

I was not expecting to play poker today... I stopped by my Mom's to get my mail and she wasn't home. Apparently, my Mom and my aunt, my uncle and my grandma all went to Atlantic City this morning... and never told me!! They hate me.

So, I hopped on Mom's computer and fired up Party Poker... sat down at a $25 NL Ring game... and kicked some ass. In one hour, I netted $56. Didn't I do that Wednesday?? My power hands: J-J, A-A (twice), K-7 on the button, and 6-6.

My 6-6 was a sick hand. I limped in and almost folded a $4 pre-flop raise. I had position on the guy so I called... with 4 others. Flop was: J-8-6... I checked and he bet $4, everyone folded and I called. When an 8 hit the turn he bet and I went all in. He called with his Q-Q and I took down a huge pot over $80 when a K fell on the river. Whew!! He should have raised $1 more... and I would have folded. I realized I played for just under an hour, so I got up and left... up $56.

I then went to deposit money with Choice Poker... and ran into some problems that I mentioned in a previous post.

Ups and Downs...

After the nightmare with Choice and NetTeller.com, I jumped back on Party Poker to vent my frustration... and it was a rollercoaster playing the $25 NL Ring games!! I won a quick hand with A-Q suited and K-J on the button. I lost when my K-5 hit a decent flop of K-5-7. I made a huge bet and a K-Q went all-in and I had him covered... alas, he caught a Q on the river.

I won most of my stack back when I caught 2-2 on the button and limped in. Nothing fell ont he flop and I went all-in when a 2 fell on the turn. On the very next hand, my 10-10 lost to K-Q when he caught a Q on the turn. I was down to $15, when I caught a nut flush flush on the river and some nimrod bet into me. I got most of my buy-in back and walked away when the table got 6 handed. I was down thirty-cents for the thirty minute session.

I jumped on another table. I lost $2 in twenty minutes and moved when I noticed that two of the players were from the same city... so I moved to yet another table... and took down a nice pot with A-Q... when A-K-J fell, I bet strongly and two called. It was over when an A fell on the river. In three hands, I was up $13. I left that table when it was four-handed and with two huge stacks remaining... I was up $24.

One more table, I told myself... I was up $75+ playing the ring games... If I doubled-up I would walk away up $100 for the day.

Alas, I won a nice pot when I nailed a nut flush with A-10 suited from the big blind. I lost most of my stack when my K-K lost to A-10 suited. An ace fell on the flop and I knew I was doomed. I should have ditched my cowboys after the flop, but I foolishly bet into the eventual winner. Two hands later 10-10 in the little blind saves the day and I got back to even. I fold 4-4 on the button when two re-raises come at me. Two hands later... K-K, and this time I bet more forcefully and add to my stack. Next hand, pocket Aces... wow... what a run of cards. I slowplay and get a little spooked when a A-K-Q falls on the flop. I bet out and beat a K-Q suited. I'm up $18 and I've played for two more hours, so I decide to call it quits.

For the day, I won $96 playing 3 hours of NL ring games. Include my $57 win on Wednesday... I've been on a nice healthy run, averaging $38 per hour. Man, maybe I should play online more often?? Add the home game win at Ferrari's and I hit my first and only winning week in 2004. I am finally in positive territory for the year!!

OK, now it's time to work and write the next few days. No more poker until Monday... the earliest.

Headaches...

I tired to deposit money again to Chocie Poker... after my credit cards were routinely declined... and I even tried to use my ePassporte account that I set up Party Poker with... only to get stiff armed a second time. Then I got stuck dealing with those nimrods over at NetTeller.com. I attempted to use two credit cards and both were declined. Felicia suggested using my checking account, but I am too paranoid these days, I don't want anyone to have access to my banking information.

Alas, I talked to a nice customer service rep at Choice Poker and he suggested I try Western Union. Which I'll do on Monday or Tuesday. The odd part is that I have to send the money to some woman in San Jose, Costa Rica. At least it's not Bogota, Colombia!

So far I saw that ten people signed up... including Sean from Anistropy. I'm sure we'll get more next week, including me. When I get some more names, I'll come up with the odds. Beware, I'm picking up the slack in my No Limit game...

Race for the White House in 2004!

Yet Another Poll...

Poker 101: Haley's Home Game

Tonight, I am teaching Haley and her friends how to play poker. It's a rare Thursday night off for Haley... and she took the opportunity to have a home game, comprised of some friends from college and from her acting class. I'm not expecting to play a lot, rather tonight is more of an introduction to poker rules and basic strategy. I am anticipating a lot of games with "wild cards"... but I will teach everyone how to play Texas Hold'em. Haley's been practicing hold'em on a video game that I suggested she try out. More to come for sure.

Ugarte's Poker Grovel #10 Update...

Ugarte, despite being absent from Monday's night game, posted an excellent write-up on the game... which included the 5 card Stud "Replace" game that Rick ran into trouble with. But here's my favorite part:

In giving me an abbreviated game report (Coach) gave an unsolicited shout-out to fellow blogger Pauly, calling him "deceptively good."

Thought of the Day

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." - Confucius

Whew... What an Hour!

I got knocked out of a multi-table NL tourney this afternoon (finished 89th out of 786... KO'd after my AK lost to a A-3 suited and the fucker caught the flush on the river)... after I grinded my way for 2.5 hours. It hurt because I was playing very well.... tight, but aggressive. I'll blog the details later.

Then, I played in a $10 SNG only to get slapped around when my K-8 suited lost a race with a J-4! Anyway... I was not ready to give up. My last 3 $10 SNGs have been unkind to Pauly after I finished in 5th, 6th and 5th! I took up HDouble's advice and played a $25 NL Ring game... and that was the best choice I made all day! Within one hour, on two different tables, I walked away up $57!! For a nice hourly win rate... and logged out up $40 for the day! I got some ridiculous hands... which I'll blog the details later as well. One table was shorthanded... like 5 of us for a good fifteen minutes, so I left that table and joined one with 8 players... and that's when I caught a nice run of cards!

Anyway, thanks again to HDouble for suggesting those soft games! Here's what he wrote last week:

1. NL $50/$25 Ring: The true grinder's game, the lower limit ring games on Party are full of passive pre-flop players, who are happy to go in with top pair. In many games, you will find 7 or 8 people limping in for the minimum bet. In a no-limit game, this is the grinder's dream. Just sit and wait for the nuts or near nuts, push all your chips in, and double up when one or more players calls. The implied odds of multiway pots are through the roof if you can be pretty sure that you can get one caller to the showdown. Just think, you can play 25 hands for $1, and only have to flop a big hand (and get at least 1 caller) once to double up. Not a bad hourly rate. The downside is that this style of play is barely poker-- almost no strategy, and very little risk, but it will get you the money in the long run.

Iggy Archives #1

Since my favorite poker blogger Iggy is on hiatus, I figured I'd dig deep into the archives of the Iggymeister and find some gems to re-read in order to get my Iggy fix. Here's a great post called Big Blue Poker that made me laugh... about the time when Royal joined Iggy and they headed down to the Bluegrass Poker Series. Here's a bit:

"Royal" came down from Michigan on Friday evening. We ended up hitting Century Inn for some prime rib, beers and baseball. The prime rib and garlic mashed potatoes were the perfect foundation for some heavy drinking...

Ended up playing heads up NL versus Royal and beat him two outta three. That was the highlight of my weekend because he is a superior no-limit player. I'm just a limit grinder. But after about twelve beers, it's just easier to move-in everytime than to use any type of strategy and anyone who knows me knows that beer = my spinach. Like Popeye.

Home Game Correction

Felicia kindly pointed out to me that I messed up my poker lingo. So much for my excellent punctuation! Anyway, here's what she wrote me:

Wow, you confused me at first with this one! First of all, if you're rolled up with aces, that means AA/A, not AA/x. So your doorcard couldn't have been low, it had to have been an ace.

Secondly, if Rick had an ace doorcard, you couldn't have been dealt another ace on fourth, unless the deck had 5 aces!

Third, I can't believe you didn't know whether you were playing Stud or Stud 8. LOL, silly!

Wow, Felicia you are so right! Thanks for keeping me in line. I should hire you to the Tao of Poker staff as a consultant. I will correct that post ASAP.

The actual hand went something like this: Pauly had AA/x-A.. and Rick had xx/A-K up until fourth street. And I knew what game we were playing at the time... however, when I was quickly writing up the report, I could not recall what game was called since we played both Stud and Stud 8 Hi/Lo over the evening. I might be a tad burnt out... but I'm not that burnt! Lol... Thanks again!

NYC Poker Babe in Vegas...

NYC Poker Babe is in Vegas this week for the shoe convention. She hit the tables at the Bellagio last night and played until sunrise. Here's excerpts of her first night at the tables:

I just got back from playing $4/8 hold'em at the Bellagio -- it is 6:15am and I have been playing since around 11pm. It was about a 1/2 hour wait... I went to an event tonite for a shoe company where they had a table with a dealer teaching the game of poker... of course I knew more than the dealer -- how pathetic is that? They were trying to tell me that the betting started with the small blind....jesus! I was so annoyed... but the best part of the event was that they gave us a $100 chip and since we were at the Hard Rock and there's no poker there I cashed out the chip and took my new 100 dollars to the Bellagio.

I won some great hands -- can't remember all the logistics... I just remember that I got a full house early on by holding AK -- huge pot... but also lost on pocket aces at least once. I played so many hands I can't remember the good ones. At one point I had over $250 in chips which is pretty good considering it was a $4/8 game -- but how could I quit when it was still so early? plus I felt justified in playing since it really wasn't my money to begin with. So after almost 7 hours I went down to zero. I lost a few big hands to flushes, full houses, etc., folded a hand at the river when I had pocket 10s and there was a K on the board on the flop and someone kept betting into the pot so I folded the best hand (it turned out to be a full house -- if i remember correctly the 2 people left in the pot had pairs lower than mine). Then I slowly bled for a while then came back a few times. Lots of fun -- can't wait for more tomorrow (or I guess it's later today). Have just enough time for a quick nap as I have to go to the shoe show at 10am. Great.

P.S. the nails are a big hit at the table!

Schanzer's Mini Tahoe Trip Reort

My old friend, Jon Schanzer, recently sent me this e-mail about his latest visit to Tahoe:

"I played about 1.5 hours worth of Hold 'em at Harvey's Casino in Lake Tahoe over the weekend (I think it was on the California side of the street). It's a small room with about 10 tables. You either play $3-6 or $4-8. Lot of guys coming off the slopes for some free drinks and a chance for $$$. At my table, we played with a guy who had come in 2nd place in a tournament the week before. He wasn't all that. I reraised him a few times with a mediocre two-pair hand, prompting him to fold. (Yes, I felt like a tough guy). Anyway, the action was good, environment ok, and coffee terrible. I didn't play long, because I was with my pops - and when we're in a casino together, it's all dice, all the time. Still, another good poker venue to know about, if you're ever skiing in Tahoe."

Great write-up! I'm looking forward to meeting Schanzer in Atlantic City next month. If you don't know, I went to college with Schanzer and we were fraternity brothers. We played a lot of cards in school especially Spades. Alas, Schanzer was my Spades partner and we were one of the best teams in our fraternity. I used to play poker at his apartment, where he lived off campus with his three-legged cat Smooth and my other buddy Jerry. Anyway... Schanzer is a terrorism expert and is interviewed on TV frequently. He appeared on FOX News this morning and talked about his recent trip to Iraq. No poker games to report because he was interviewing Al Qaeda prisoners for his upcoming book on Al Qaeda. He also interviewed a high ranking Iraqi intelligence officer. Man, I've never been more proud of the guy!

Anyway, you can read an excellent article that he wrote called: Ansar al-Islam: Back in Iraq. It's an highly educational read! He posts all of his articles on his blog: Schanzer's Garage.

Thought of the Day

"A path is formed by constant treading on the ground." - Chuang Tzu

Royal Flush Nails!

Check out: NYC Poker Babe's Nails!

Top 10

A few readers asked for the link to site called PokerTop10.com, the one who named the Tao of Poker to it's Top 10 Poker Blogs List... and mistakenly left off Iggy. They were kind to Pauly though, ranking me third. Here's what they said about me:

As a professional writer, you can expect Pauly to be both entertaining and have excellent punctuation. Also, he seems to know poker which is a bonus on this side of the web. He is primarily a brick and mortar player, so you won't find any reviews of online poker rooms in his blogs. We didn't hold that against him in our ranking though. The Tao of Poker is a great spot to check out trip reports and general poker opinions.

I love the "excellent punctuation" part. I'm going to steal that quote for my benefit. It's going on my resume! If it's a toss up between the Harvard grad or the guy with excellent punctuation... well it's an easy choice. And the next time I'm in one of those crowded, trendy, one-word-named bars downtown, I'm gonna saddle up to a leggy blonde, and whisper.... "I'm the guy who've been waiting all night for. I'm the dude with the excellent puntuation. So let's put those exclamation marks to good use!"

Brooklyn NL Game?

This is tempting... Poker Invite. Alas, it's horrible timing. Not only is Feb 14th Valentine's Day... it's also Haley's birthday. Celebration plans are expected to spill over into Sunday morning, so I dunno if I can make it out to Crooklyn to play. Sounds very enticing though!

NYC Home Game Week 2: Hammer Time!

Ferrari invited me back to his place to sit in with seven other guys for the weekly Monday Night game. The crew consisted of a few lawyers and the other half were professionals of some sort. I was the sole bohemian.

The only lowlight was that Ugarte was unable to play! He was a mysterious MIA! But Rick was there and he brought his younger brother. The line-up...

Seat 1: Sugata
Seat 2: Rick
Seat 3: Om
Seat 4: Ferrari
Seat 5: Joel the banker
Seat 6: "Coach"
Seat 7: Lil Smith (Rick's brother)
Seat 8: Pauly!

Well, the game started out with six people and a $100 buy-in. I told myself two things:

1. I would play tighter in the first few hours.
2. Improve my Omaha game by playing less starting hands.

For the most part, we played a lot of Texas Hold'em. Omaha and Seven Card Stud Hi/Lo seemed to be the other dominating games. I can't recall too much happening to me early in the night. I played very conservative and stayed out of harm's way. I won several smaller pots to break even the first hour, until I took down a nice pot of Texas Hold'em when my A-J saw a nice flop of A-x-J. By 9:30 pm I was up $58.

Then I made a nice run over the next hour. Rick was dealing Seven Card Stud... I think it was just Hi (or at least no low qualified)... (I knew at the time, but I couldn't recall at press time!) It was pretty much heads-up with Rick after fourth street. Here's what happened. I got a pair of Aces!! Yikes. That's one of the best starting hands I had all night. I had a low card (2 or 3) for my door card (AA/3). Rick showed (xx/A) an Ace! Well, I knew he didn't have any other aces underneath, so I was a heavy favorite to win. On fourth street, I got my third ace!!! And Rick got a King. He showed Ace and King (xx/A-K), while I had an Ace and a little card (AA/3-A). I raised and he called. On fifth street, it was another face card for Rick, I started to get worried about having my set of Aces lose to a straight. I checked, Rick bet, and I raised! I couldn't resist the check-raise. If he had the straight he would have gone back over the top of me. A little card fell on sixth street. I bet and he called. I got a random useless card on seventh street and I bet out. He called and I showed him my pocket aces for my three of a kind to beat his two pair! It was at least an $80 pot! and by 10:30 I was well up over $100!

I won another heavy pot. I was dealing and called Seven Card Stud Hi with a $1 ante. Well, I dealt myself rolled up Kings!!! And my third card (door card or the first up card) was a King!! Wow, KK/K. It was pretty much me versus Om on that hand. He had a straight going. I caught an 8 somewhere... and when I dealt the final down card, it was another 8 to give me the full house. Om turned over his straight and I happily flipped over my rolled up Kings with an 8 to make a full house Kings over 8s! Nice. Yeah, I kicked ass playing Seven Card Stud last night... and that was the reason I walked away a big winner.

During Follow the Queen I got two Queens and made a Royal Straight Flush... in the only game we played all night with wild cards!

Pauly Drops the Hammer!

In the little blind, I got the Hammer playing $2-4 Hold'em! With one raise in front of me I could not resist and spalshed the pot as I said, "It's Hammer Time!!" Rick giggled. I called the raise with my 2c-7h. The flop: Ah-Jh-2h. No way!! Everyone checked, and I bet with my pathetic pair of twos and a low flush draw. The turn: 3h. Oh shit! I caught a flush. But someone else has to have a higher heart right? I bet and two called. On the river: 8h. Wow. A flush on the board. I played the 7h for a slightly higher flush. I bet and one person called... (Lil Smith?) had a pair of aces I think. While I stacked up the chips, I half apologized and half gloated over the win, while the MC Hammer theme song jingled around inside my head. I couldn't believe that no one had a heart!!

I won a big Omaha pot when I held 7-8-9-J on the button. I flopped a straight when 4-5-6 hot the board. And I lost a hefty amount when my A-A-3-7 did not hold up when there was no qualifying low hand!

Late Night No Limit Tournament

Ok, so it's after Midnight... four guys left... Om, Ferrari, Rick and myself remained. I suggested that we all put in $20 and play a mini No Limit Hold'em Tournament. Everyone agreed and we got $20 each in chips. The blinds started at 50 cent-$1. I didn't play much the first two rounds, stole some blinds, but nothing too strong came my way aside from 10-10. When Rick got knocked out, I had exactly $20 in chips! Then I went heads-up with Ferrari on one hand. I held A-3 suited. The flop: K-J-J. He bet and I either had to fold or re-raise to go all-in. I needed runner-runner to catch a flush. I made him for an ace or a Q-10 an a draw. Alas, I made the bold move (and my only mistake of the night) and I went all-in because I thought he was trying to steal the pot. Yep, I was screwed Ferrari had a K-4! And he caught a third King on the turn for his full boat! I was out in thrid place! We watched Ferrari take down Om a few hands later when Om went all-in with Q-9 with a flop & turn of: A-Q-x-J. Ferrari had the K-10 for the nut straight! He walked away with $80 more dollars... to go up $141 for the night!

Ok so who was the big winner? Coach looked very strong after coming in late and winning something like four Omaha pots in a row and a tremendous hand in Anaconda. He had towers of chips at his end of the table. Coach walked away with almost $200 and gave me a nice tip in this weekend's Ivy League hoops action (he likes Yale to beat Harvard in Cambridge). Ferrari had around $141. I netted $81... to avenge my $12 loss the previous week. And everyone else was a loser. Rick and his lil brother combined for almost a $300 loss. Sugata and Joel lost $65 and $45. And Om lost just $27. Last week, Rick showed up late and walked away up $200. Coach did the same thing last night. Maybe I should come late next time?

Poker Bloggers Sqaure Off...

Alas, last week Ugarte and Rick and yours truly played on the 19th floor of a Manhattan skyrise. Then... HDouble and Grubby went heads-up on Choice Poker. You can read all about their classic match-up: Here. And a little snippet:

"I've got to let you go, Mr.Grubs," and I got ready to go back to more familiar waters, but I took my last hand in the BB. Ahh, Big Slick, and Grubs raised from the big blind. I reraised, and when the flop came 2 4 4, I felt pretty sure I had the best hand. Grubs bet out, I reraised, and he just called. I figured it would be nice to go out with a bang, and the 7 on the turn didn't worry me too much. The raise war continued, and I started to fear I was up against a pocket pair, so I just called...

And if that wasn't enough, they both played in LA together this past weekend at Hawaiian Gardens and yes, Grubby dropped the Hammer!

And word is out about the Michigan crossover game! With Lord Geznikor and Boy Genius. Here's a mini peek at his write-up of the Poker Blogger Crossover Game II:

"BG's big reason for inviting us, he said, was that he wanted to test his mettle against someone else who cares how good his game is. As it happens, I do care how my game is, because I happen to be a newly-minted poker pro... There ended up being two tables, one of seven and one (ours) of six. As luck would have it, BG, Gil, and I all ended up on the same table, along with one player who was OK but was getting drunk, one person who had a clue..."

Party Poker Technical Problems...

Here's an excerpt of an e-mail that Party Poker sent me:

Thank you for contacting our Customer Care team.

Due to technical difficulties faced by our Internet Host, we have experienced partial interruption in some of the services provided in our sites. This situation has now been resolved by our technical team. Please feel free to login to your account at your earliest convenience and continue enjoying the best online gaming experience.

I would like to inform you that the amount of $6.00 has been credited into your account on 09-FEB-2004 at 19:46 EST. You can refer to the transaction history in the lobby to verify the same.

Rest assured that our technical team is always doing their best to ensure that you do not experience any discomfort while playing at our tables.

Regarding your query about registering for a tournament but not taking a seat, I am sorry but we do not refund the buy-in unless you unregister before the tournament starts.

Thought to Ponder...

"It is only one who is thoroughly acquainted with the evils of war that can thoroughly understand the profitable way of carrying it on." - Sun Tzu

What Happened? 3rd Place in My First $10 SNG

Well, Party Poker came back online. I was irked before because I logged on today at 10am, registered for a multi-table NL tourney ($5 + $1) which began at 10:30 and I went to grab something to drink. When I returned to the computer, Party Poker had disconnected and I lost the re-connection battle!

But as soon as I published my last entry... Party Poker was back up and running! And I hopped on a $10 SNG right away! Actually, in my haste, I messed up and made a serious rookie mistake... yep, I signed up for a LIMIT SNG. Yikes! After grumbling for ten minutes, I settled down and was determined to correct my mistake. I played my shitty cards, adjusted to my first Limit SNG... and had my pocket Queens cracked by A-Q. I got A-K, A-Q, A-9 suited and 6-6... raised pre-flop with all of those hands and won sizeable pots to get a chip lead. That was short lived... only to have my pocket Kings cracked by a meager Q-2 off suit from the little blind. I re-raised all-in from the button and laughed when I saw a flop: 8-4-2... and I knew... that other 2 was in the deck... and alas, it fell on the river! And I finished in 5th place wicked pissed and steaming.

I hopped on a $5 No Limit SNG... and I made sure I had the right game. It was brutal because I ignored all Buddhist patience and discipline and played looser than loose stool from a Midwestern tourist, in Mexico for the first time with Montezuma's Revenge. Early in the second round some fish went all-in UTG with 9-2 suited. Pauly had A-A. Unreal. He walked into that one. I had the chip lead early... which is worser than when NY Knicks' two guard John Starks would hit his first two three-pointers in the first couple of minutes... because you knew he'd spend the rest of the night chucking treys from way downtown... even if he missed ten in a row and drew the ire of the tenacious, hostile, and liquored-up Madison Square Garden crowd!

Anyway... I played anything on the button... and won more pots than I lost. I found A-K on the button, limped in... and bailed when a shitty flop of 3-3-4 hit and three people went all-in. I knocked some dude named Moneymaker out... when my 10-10 beat out his A-Q suited... I'm not shitting you... here's the hand:

***** Hand History for Game 380966978 *****
50/100 TourneyTexasHTGameTable (NL) (Tournament 2213588) - Mon Feb 09 14:04:36 EST 2004
Table Card Room Table 4416 (Real Money) -- Seat 3 is the button
Total number of players : 7
Seat 1: MONEYMAKERl (1005)
Seat 2: PaulyMcGrupp (1050)
Seat 3: dedmone (1395)
Seat 5: KSUFB (1140)
Seat 7: jthunder (690)
Seat 8: oohwill (670)
Seat 10: sawatenaeo (2050)
KSUFB posts small blind (25)
jthunder posts big blind (50)
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to PaulyMcGrupp [ Th, Td ]
oohwill calls (50)
sawatenaeo calls (50)
MONEYMAKERl raises (100) to 100
PaulyMcGrupp raises (400) to 400
dedmone folds.
KSUFB folds.
jthunder folds.
oohwill folds.
sawatenaeo folds.
MONEYMAKERl raises (905) to 1005
MONEYMAKERl calls all-In.
PaulyMcGrupp calls (605)
** Dealing Flop ** : [ 6d, Jd, Kc ]
** Dealing Turn ** : [ 5h ]
** Dealing River ** : [ 7c ]
Creating Main Pot with $2185 with MONEYMAKERl
** Summary **
Main Pot: 2185 |
Board: [ 6d Jd Kc 5h 7c ]
MONEYMAKERl balance 0, lost 1005 [ Ah Qh ] [ high card ace -- Ah,Kc,Qh,Jd,7c ]
PaulyMcGrupp balance 2230, bet 1005, collected 2185, net +1180 [ Th Td ] [ a pair of tens -- Kc,Jd,Th,Td,7c ]

See I told you! Anyway, my SNG was over when on the next hand my 8-8 lost to a Q-6 when he flopped a set of 6s! Ouch. I lost miserably and found myself in 6th place.

Then I got all fired up after reading some poker blogs. I returned to the table with the same hell bent, enthusiasm of those guys in Delta Tau Chi after Bluto gave them his infamous "The Germans Bombed Pearl Harbor Speech"... I was ready to play. And I bought into my first $10 No Limit SNG. And this time, I was in the right one!

$10 SNG Level 2... With 9 little fishies (well eight, if you count me as the shark!) left, my A-10 vs. A-2... Pauly knocks out one little fishie... seven little fishies left. The very next hand... Kc-5c. I'm on my Doyle Brunson theory of playing the hand right after you win a big one... and I limp in. I flopped a flush when all clubs hit the board... and I just call, but raised on the turn and one fishie calls. His Jack is no match for the King... and another fishie bites the dust... six little fishies left. Next hand... A-9 suited under the gun... what does Pauly do? I raised got one caller and went all in when A-9-4 hit the board. His A-4 was not good enough. On three consecutive hands... I knocked out three fishies! Yes, I had a huge chip lead... which is always ripe for disaster.

Don't you hate it when your favorite hockey team blows a 4-0 lead in the first period? Or when your home football team farts around and lets a four touchdown lead get away from them? Or when your beloved baseball team knocks in nine runs in the first inning... only to be bogged down in a tie late in the game after the bullpen blows the lead? Well... I almost blew it all, but saved face for a third place win.

My Demise... started when my K-K lost to 5-5 when the jerkoff flopped a 5! He had balls calling my hefty pre-flop raise. Say goodbye to 1/3 of my stack. Then, I inflicted some pain... and threw out some bad, bad, bad karma out into the poker universe. I inflicted one of the baddest bad beats in some time... because I knocked two fishies out on one shot, when I had no business being in that hand in the first place!! On the button with 9-8 I raised the one bettor in front of me and the little blind re-raised! Well, I called and on the flop (8-2-4), the little blind bet, a guy in front of me raised and went all-in... I quickly called since I'm still leading chips wise... I got top pair, but any overcard will kill me. But I called anyway, as did the little blind... Turn: 6 and the river: 8. I caught a set of 8s and flipped out when I saw that I knocked out K-K and 10-10 on the same hand! Ouch! That must've hurt. Two more fishies gone... which left remaining... plus me! I made it into the money and at least won back my entry fee and the $11 that I blindly gave away buying into that Limit SNG earlier.

OK... so my A-2 did not hold up against a Q-10 and then my A-Q suffered a humiliating loss to a K-K when a K-9-K hit the flop!! And yes, I lost all my chips... but netted a third place win. I placed in the money in my first $10 NL SNG!!

So far to date... one loss in a Limit $10 SNG (which I won't count towards any totals). And in 6 NL SNGs (5-$5 and 1-$10), I placed first once ($25) and now third ($20)... for a total sum of $45 in winnings or up $4 in No Limit SNGs!

Party Poker Down!

Party Poker has been down the last few hours. I tried to sign on around 10:25 am EST... and as of 1:00pm EST... still have not been able to connect. I called their toll free number and got a recording saying that "they were having problems with their servers... will be back up very soon."

Grumble, grumble! I work weekends. And Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays from 10am thru 5pm are the only times I can find time to play online, on a non-Mac computer... and since I have an iBook... I am unable to play at home. I hope Party Poker starts getting Mac based software soon! My brother can't help me... and Haley has an iBook as well!

Unless I find someone closeby who will let me use their laptop to play poker... and sit on their couch wearing nothing but my boxers, a ripped wife-beater t-shirt, and my lucky Mirage hat... at odd hours, while I either have ESPN on the TV or a random Grateful Dead bootleg playing in the background to muffle out the barrage of ramblings curses and insults... then, I am out of luck. I am forced to play poker at my Mom's apartment while she's at work. Yikes! So it's frustrating right now... wanting to play, but not being able to!

Pauly Paintings Linked Up!

Thanks to Rick and Ugarte over at Rick's Cafe Americain for mentioning Pauly Paintings on their site. Please buy one of my paintings so I have more money to play poker!! Here's what he wrote:

"Our new friend Pauly, the guru over at Tao of Poker is not just a poker player and philosopher, he's also a talented artist! Check out some of his paintings..."

Anyway, I hope to see both Rick and Ugarte tonight... I got invited to pay poker again at Ferrari's place!

The Poker Penguin and Pop Culture

Gotta love the Poker Penguin! Here's a hilarious quote from his last entry:

"Janet Jackson is a talentless freaky-looking over the hill skank desperate for publicity but one saggy boob is NOT a matter to get all worked up about..."

By the way, congrats on your Royal Straight Flush!

Thought of the Day

"Knowing others is wisdom... knowing yourself is Enlightenment." - Lao Tzu

The Paulys!

Welcome to the First Annual Paulys... where you, the readers, get to vote for awards to be given to the best and worst in cinema during the past year. The first round of voting begins this week... with new categories introduced every Monday.

I'm currently taking votes for Movie of the Year 2003 and votes for Worst Movie of 2003. Winners of the First Annual Paulys will be announced in late March!

Vote now... for Best Film of 2003!




Vote now for Worst Film of 2003!



Note: If you cannot see the poll... then your web browser does not support Blogpoll. I know AOL's web browser blows. Sanyway, if you are having problems... visit these handy links: Best Film of 2003 amd Worst Movie of 2003.

Saturday Night Lives Spoofs Bravo's Celebrity Poker Showdown

I just witnessed a hilarious skit on Saturday Night Live! They made fun of my favorite poker program... Celebrity Poker Letdown. Jimmy Fallon played Kevin Pollack and Chris Parnell played Phil Gordon. The players: Carot Top, Gene Shalet (film critic), Tammy Faye Baker... and Geraldo!! They really tooled on Geraldo. Tammy Faye flopped a full boat with 6-6-6-K-K. I guess poker has officially reached comedic cult status in America.