Out of the tournament on the second hand of the finals. I had A (Diamonds) and Q (spades). Flop was A (spade), J (Diamonds) and 10 (Diamonds). Two players with me. On a big bet from the big blind, I called with my A. The third player folded. The 9 (diamonds). Another big bet, which I called. Then the 7 (diamonds) hit. The big blind went all in. I thought about it for a few minutes, flipped over my cards for everyone to see, and then called. He had the 8 (diamonds).

Can't say I don't go out in style. I'm okay with it -- for all of the three times I've caught 4 of a kind or a straight flush on the flop, something like this was bound to happen eventually.

"You play poker, right?" my friend said to me a few weeks earlier, as we waited for the subway.

"Yeah. You have a game?" I said. I've been looking for something similar to The Tuesday Night Game ever since I read Big Deal.

"Sort of. You ever heard of the Odessa Room?"

I shook my head. "I'm spectacularly uncool, Shane, and I live in suburbia. What's the Odessa Room?"

"It's an honest-to-goodness speakeasy in Hollywood. Twice a month they have poker tournaments."

We play a few hands, but my cards are shit, and I don't get into any pots. It's okay, I'll be patient. Stick to the plan.

For a game in Hollywood, there's precious little coffehousing, until Mr. Lawyer says to me, "Hey guy, aren't you an actor?"

I hate that question, because I always have to answer, "I used to be."

"Whaddaya mean, 'used to be?'" Says the guy to my right. He's a Webmaster from Long Beach who could have saved an hour on the freeway and played at the Bicycle, but I find out later that he comes here because he's a starfucker.

"I haven't done any acting in a long time. I'm a writer now." This answer doesn't seem to satisfy them, so I say, "I only act when something really great comes along."

(PRWEB) February 28, 2004 -- In a completely precedented move, Tenzin McGrupp and Alex Bernstein, creators of two affiliated websites have submitted separate screenplays to the newest Project Greenlight screenplay competition, the contest hosted by Hollywood superstars Ben Affleck and Matt Damon.

Mr. McGrupp creator of the popular web blog, TAO OF PAULY (http://mcgrupp.blogspot.com), has submitted "Sweet Nothing" a screenplay based on his online "Baby and Winky" stories. Mr. Bernstein has submitted "Prom On Mars," a script based on his web-comic PROM ON MARS (www.promonmars.com).

And how are the websites affiliated?

"We've got links at each other's websites," says Bernstein.

"Yeah. We don't know Ben or Matt or anything," says McGrupp. "But damn, it'd be cool to win PGL!"

Mr. Bernstein concurs.

In addition to the "Baby and Winky" stories, Mr. McGrupp's site plays host to a large community of interactive readers and authors. The site includes Mr. McGrupp's travelogues, Phish journalism and information on McGrupp's recent poker games.

Mr. Bernstein's site is driven purely by the "Prom on Mars" web-comic. There are numerous Prom features at the site, including Mr. Bernstein's own Prom Blog, FAQs and an archive featuring over 100 strips.

And, of course, a link to Mr. McGrupp's site.

Time will cure all tourney woes. Your weaknesses will turn to strengths, then you will find new weaknesses...

"This is a $250 buy-in, with 49 entries (7 tables of 7) with final table on Saturday. Winner can either take $10,000 plus travel costs to enter to the WSOP or take $5,000 and walk away. If they choose the second option, places 2-7 also get prizes. If they take the first option, only second place also pays.

I won my table and will be playing in the finals on Saturday at noon. Needless to say, I feel quite lucky to have gotten there. The tournament went a grueling 6+ hours, a full 1.5 hours longer than any other first round entry. In the end, I wound up going head to head with, and quite frankly, almost losing to Lisa, the tournament organizer's wife, who was a last-minute, fill-in entry and who, if she is to be believed, has only been playing for a couple of months.

The day had an auspicious start -- playing in my 8:00 a.m. basketball run, I had a chance to play, for the third time, with Brian Koppelman. If that name isn't familiar, he's the fellow who wrote Rounders. When I told him what I would be doing later in the day, he actually took some interest, said that if we ever did anything like this again, he might be interested, and (without me asking) gave me a pep talk and some advice. Kind of like getting advice from John Wooden before going out and playing ball in a key playoff game.

Despite Mr. Koppelman's advice and blessing, I found myself down for the first 3 hours of the tournament, hovering between $11 and $14k in chips (we started with $15k). My first showdown of the day saw me lose with a flush when a 4th spade hit the Board, making my 9 lose to someone else's A. I managed to save myself an early exit about three or four times, laying down good hands which would have gotten crushed. Two good examples -- my QQ, faced with an A on the board and a big bet from the fellow who I was heads up with (he had AK suited); and, in the toughest decision I had before the final hand, I folded KQ with K-Q-10-7-2 (and three spades) on the board. The 10 was the last card, and it conveniently gave one player 3 10's and another a Broadway straight.

I did knock the first player out of the tournament, a fairly tight player from NJ, who was short stacked when his JJ lost to KK. I had AA (the only time all day), and an A came up in the flop. He checked, as did I. With a 8 on the Turn, we had A-8-7-2. He checked again, and I told the table, "I sense weakness," making a minimum bet. He raised all-in. I called, and he exposed 10-9, giving him an open-ended straight. He didn't catch it, and was toast.

The chip leader for most of the tournament was an Equity Trader named Scott. He had 3x as many chips as anyone else, having caught KK an unbelieveable 6 times in the first 2 hours. He blew his chance to coast to a win by getting really passive in the back end of the game. One prime example -- I raised out of the chute with 22. He called and we were heads up. For only the second time in my life, the board gave me quads -- 2, 2, 10. I checked, desperately hoping that he'd bet. He never did. We made it all the way to the river, and finally I bet 2k just to see if I could get anything from him. He folded. Sigh.

For the last 2.5 hours, it was Scott, Lisa, and me. I played as aggressively as I could, raising and collecting blinds with as poor a hand as 4-2. Both of them chickened out enough that I was able to fight all the way back to a slight chip lead. I regret that I do not remember the specifics of the hand I knocked Scott out on. All I remember is that neither of us was a lock, and that he didn't go all in until the river. That gave me something like an 85-20 lead on Lisa. She almost got me though.

I put her all in twice, and she won both times. The second time, when she had about 35k in chips, she called with 33 to my K6 suited. No help. Now trailing, I played very aggressively again, and managed to fight back to slightly ahead. That's when I got dealt J-4 offsuit, as the little blind. I called (blinds were now 1800-3600), and the flop came 5-J-5. I checked. She made a big bet (8k). I called. Next card was a 3. I checked again. She made a bigger bet (12k). I called again. A nine hit the board on the river. No straights or flushes possible, and I'm holding 2-pair. I checked. She went all in. I called (apparently I had only 400 more in chips than she did at the time). We both wished each other luck and said that we expected the other to win.

She rolled an A3, for a lower two pair. Whew!

I gather that although I may be a fan favorite at the final table, I will definitely be an underdog. One fellow, who played Saturday, is supposedly a known quantity from past WSOPs and was trying to find a cheap way back to Binions. Stay tuned."

The Monday Night Poker line-up:

Seat 1: Swish (sports writer)
Seat 2: Coach (arrived late)
Seat 3: Rick
Seat 4: Ferrari
Seat 5: Matt (options trader)
Seat 6: Anthony (architect)
Seat 7: Joel
Seat 8: Pauly!

Seat 1: Swish
Seat 2: Ferrari
Seat 3: Matt
Seat 4: Pauly

Swish: 10
Ferrari: ???
Matt: 4-10-A
Pauly: 9-9
Swish: 10-10
Ferrari: out
Matt: 4-10-A-5-A
Pauly: 9-9-x-6-6
Swish: 10-10-10
Matt: out

Pauly: 9-9-x-6-6-x-6

Swish: 10-10-10-J

Swish: 10-10-10-J-J

Final Tally:
Rick +314
Swish +80
Matt +15
Coach +13.50
Ferrari +2.50
Joel -100
Anthony -100
Pauly -150

Teacher: What is the moral of the story, Jimmy?

Jimmy: Don't fuck with Uncle Ed when he's been drinking.

I'll be doing a hit on Fox News today at a minute or two after 1pm EST (Dayside with Linda Vester) to discuss my piece in the Weekly Standard, as well as some other stuff.

Poor Pauly. I made a loose call with J2h in the big blinds, and flopped J2. Pauly called me to the river with his pocket 9s, and it didn't leave him much room to work with. Pocket 9s seemed to be the big loser this tourney...

Penguin: jeez - I fold another hammer, the flop would have been a winner
Penguin: I'm an idiot
grubby: there's a move!
McGrupp: whoooo hoooo gl fatguy
Penguin: he's got nothing
Mean Gene: this is a toughie
Penguin: I saw him wink
thefatguy: lol
Dealer: Take it down thefatguy ($2245)
CDF12345: he winked with his asshole
McGrupp: nice!
CDF12345: like a talented stripper
shftleft: you can say asshole but not ****
Dealer: Please keep all table chat clean!
thefatguy: you don't know how talented my asshole is, sir...

"And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"

Poker Blogger Intern Needed...

Responsibilities will include: writing up detailed reports of fellow poker bloggers bad beat tales, driving me to Atlantic City and Foxwoods, finding poker related articles on the web, searching out loose live games in card rooms around NYC, dealing poker at home games, taping various poker shows on TV, spell-checking my blog, crank calling Phil Hellmuth, and sending Iggy pony kegs of Guinness.

Must have: basic knowledge of poker, a sunny temperment, and a car with a CD player...

Hello, I am enjoying your well-written site immensely. Like yourself, I enjoy playing poker and my favourite venues are the poker rooms at The Bellagio and The Mirage. Texas Hold'em is also my preferred game. I smiled when I read about your (wistful?) post for a poker intern. It actually appealed to me on several levels and I thought I would run my qualifications by you... (smile).

Writing: I have a knack for painting pictures with words. Others have thought so too and published a few of them.

Research: You can't write effectively without that tool. Add six years (and counting) of University studies and I am confident in that realm. Ditto the spellchecking ;)

NYC rooms and dealing cards: I was press-ganged into dealing poker and blackjack at two different ones by my cousin who still runs them. Unfortunately, I no longer live there. Nobody is perfect ;)

How do you stop the time blinking on your VCR: No need...TIVO works great for all your recording needs and playback on my 61" HDTV lets you see every "poker face" in detail.

Beer Provisioning: A good friend who owns a bar in Glasgow can supply all the fresh Guinness one might desire. If Iggy is very good, he can also have an authentic Guinness bar mat for his counter.

Phoning Phil: He won't know what hit him... there are crank calls by men but then there are calls from women... piece of cake... (smile)

Driving: I have the most gorgeous Lexus convertible that I treated myself to when I moved to Miami two months ago. Unfortunately, the operative word is Miami and won't help you out for AC and Foxwoods.

At any rate, thanks for the good read. I go to Vegas at least 4 times a year... perhaps we will share a table some time. Cheers, Paris

In response to your ad, I feel I'm a great candidate for the job. I already spend many hours a day reading blogs, and I am very familiar with the drive to Foxwoods. I may not have the sunniest of temperaments, but I make up for it with my ability to use physical violence if anyone threatens my boss. I'm asking for 40K a year in chips at Foxwoods, as well as a place to crash in the City. I look forward to working for you, Mr. McGrupp.

1. Gene Bromberg (Poker Blogger) 28.8%
2. George W. Bush (R) 21.3%
3. John Kerry (D) 18.8%
3. Howard Dean (D) 18.8%
5. John Edwards (D) 12.5%

Last night was fun - we got to the track and were seated - at the same table. Got mostly crap to play early and then took the definitively worst bad beat I have ever had! I am holding pocket 7s and stay in for the flop - a 7 falls with the rainbow and slim straight possibilities - I am happy - I bet and like 4-5 others are still in. The turn is a 10 - we are betting and raising and re-raising. Then the river is a 10 - I have my full house and am fired up thinking someone may have a set of tens - me and this young black lady - pretty cool (we had a fun table for a while - very freindly and easy going) kept raising - so when it's done she turns over her pocket 10s for 4 of a kind!!!! SHIT!! I show my full house and everybody breaks up - but all good natured. About a $50-60 pot in $1-2!

Next hand - I get A-6 and am on full tilt - I call and when an A-6 falls on the flop - I am on it and luckily a few others stay in and I take a nice pot about $20-25. We take a break - come back and I think the second I am holding A-10 and raise (one end of table stayed in all the time 2-3 off; 9-6 off etc) the flp comes down Q-K-J and I got the nut straight - so I work the pot up and a few stay in - I draw it out - check my cards between cards and bets etc. - but keep raising - and take home a $40-50 pot. NICE! I then slowly pissed a bit away playing loose but ended up like $12.50 up - not bad for a late jaunt to the Dog Track on a Tuesday night. I think I won 4 pots all night and only played in about 12-14. Anyway - there is my bad beat tale that luckily was followed by a nice win. By the way, the track was crowded - 11 full tables going. Schanzer ended up down $18 - but he played alot of hands - and went on a nice win streak in the middle - good to see the monkey man - he is coming back down in the end of march hopefully for like 4 days - WHOA - could be time to take him to the Sook!

Dammit! You played this guy like a fiddle... why the f--k did he come back over the top of you?? Ah well, these are the guys that make us money. Great play by Pauly, bad result.

And I can't believe you let Haley bluff you!

Oh painful night. What started out quite triumphantly ended up ugly. Another night at the poker room at the Bellagio ... three nights in a row... yesterday was a brief 45 minute session as my table mates were just so damn talkative and it was getting on my nerves. This one guy just kept asking me questions about my job and at one point I told him I was done working and I didn't want to talk about my job and work stuff (he too is in Vegas for the shoe convention but is an exhibitor). So I lost a quick $60 and called it a night.

Tonite was a different story. Walked into that room -- no wait (no wait yesterday either). Another 4/8 game... great start... I won two 70 dollar-ish pots almost back to back... it was a beautiful thing. But how can you walk away? I had only played a few hands so I didn't want to leave. But then it got increasingly ugly when my flopped sets would be beaten by a higher kicker (I think that happened 3 times) and some other bad beats. Then my table was a broken table so we (5 of us) got placed at other tables. First hand started well...I had pocket 9s that turned into a set at the river (the other cards were rags and maybe one K). Last person heads up with me folded and I won the pot (about $50). The worst hand (for luck) was when it was heads up and the board was something like J3ATx -- well of course I had the nuts KQ suited (clubs) -- it went back and forth for a million reraises and what happened? Yup, it was a chop. So bummed. I have a great hand at last and I have to split the pot. It sucked!

I still have yet to make a positive return on my money -- but I can't help just playing and learning more and more about the game... I almost signed up for the 100 buy-in no limit game at 1/2 blinds... I might have to try it tomorrow nite.

Now it's the New York Yankees who are trying to trade for Alex Rodriguez. The American League champions and the Texas Rangers were closing in Saturday on a deal that would bring A-Rod to the Bronx for second baseman Alfonso Soriano and a player to be named... Newsday reported on its Web site Saturday afternoon that A-Rod is so desperate to get out of Texas that he'd be willing to switch positions to play at third base, allowing Yankees captain Derek Jeter to stay at shortstop.

Rodriguez hit .298 last season with 47 homers, 118 RBIs and 17 stolen bases, and Soriano batted .290 with 38 homers, 91 RBIs and 35 steals.

Are we looking for a certain type of screenplay? Actually, yes we are. We are looking for "genre" projects that have a powerful impact, like Horror or Thriller -- projects that really grab the audience's imagination and attention. Of course we will be open to considering other kinds of projects because we appreciate creativity and innovation.

Although ESPN made its contract with former Horseshoe owner Becky Binion Behnen, Harrah's will honor the deal. The 2004 WSOP will start on April 22 and culminate with a $10,000 buy-in, no-limit, hold 'em championship at the downtown casino on May 22. ESPN will film the entire event to run as a seven-part series consisting of about 20 one-hour episodes.

"Allrighty then, I'm back & posting every day. Prepare for an uber-long, Guinness-fueled poker post. I may not be top ten, but I'm drunk..."

In giving me an abbreviated game report (Coach) gave an unsolicited shout-out to fellow blogger Pauly, calling him "deceptively good."

1. NL $50/$25 Ring: The true grinder's game, the lower limit ring games on Party are full of passive pre-flop players, who are happy to go in with top pair. In many games, you will find 7 or 8 people limping in for the minimum bet. In a no-limit game, this is the grinder's dream. Just sit and wait for the nuts or near nuts, push all your chips in, and double up when one or more players calls. The implied odds of multiway pots are through the roof if you can be pretty sure that you can get one caller to the showdown. Just think, you can play 25 hands for $1, and only have to flop a big hand (and get at least 1 caller) once to double up. Not a bad hourly rate. The downside is that this style of play is barely poker-- almost no strategy, and very little risk, but it will get you the money in the long run.

"Royal" came down from Michigan on Friday evening. We ended up hitting Century Inn for some prime rib, beers and baseball. The prime rib and garlic mashed potatoes were the perfect foundation for some heavy drinking...

Ended up playing heads up NL versus Royal and beat him two outta three. That was the highlight of my weekend because he is a superior no-limit player. I'm just a limit grinder. But after about twelve beers, it's just easier to move-in everytime than to use any type of strategy and anyone who knows me knows that beer = my spinach. Like Popeye.

Wow, you confused me at first with this one! First of all, if you're rolled up with aces, that means AA/A, not AA/x. So your doorcard couldn't have been low, it had to have been an ace.

Secondly, if Rick had an ace doorcard, you couldn't have been dealt another ace on fourth, unless the deck had 5 aces!

Third, I can't believe you didn't know whether you were playing Stud or Stud 8. LOL, silly!

I just got back from playing $4/8 hold'em at the Bellagio -- it is 6:15am and I have been playing since around 11pm. It was about a 1/2 hour wait... I went to an event tonite for a shoe company where they had a table with a dealer teaching the game of poker... of course I knew more than the dealer -- how pathetic is that? They were trying to tell me that the betting started with the small blind....jesus! I was so annoyed... but the best part of the event was that they gave us a $100 chip and since we were at the Hard Rock and there's no poker there I cashed out the chip and took my new 100 dollars to the Bellagio.

I won some great hands -- can't remember all the logistics... I just remember that I got a full house early on by holding AK -- huge pot... but also lost on pocket aces at least once. I played so many hands I can't remember the good ones. At one point I had over $250 in chips which is pretty good considering it was a $4/8 game -- but how could I quit when it was still so early? plus I felt justified in playing since it really wasn't my money to begin with. So after almost 7 hours I went down to zero. I lost a few big hands to flushes, full houses, etc., folded a hand at the river when I had pocket 10s and there was a K on the board on the flop and someone kept betting into the pot so I folded the best hand (it turned out to be a full house -- if i remember correctly the 2 people left in the pot had pairs lower than mine). Then I slowly bled for a while then came back a few times. Lots of fun -- can't wait for more tomorrow (or I guess it's later today). Have just enough time for a quick nap as I have to go to the shoe show at 10am. Great.

P.S. the nails are a big hit at the table!

"I played about 1.5 hours worth of Hold 'em at Harvey's Casino in Lake Tahoe over the weekend (I think it was on the California side of the street). It's a small room with about 10 tables. You either play $3-6 or $4-8. Lot of guys coming off the slopes for some free drinks and a chance for $$$. At my table, we played with a guy who had come in 2nd place in a tournament the week before. He wasn't all that. I reraised him a few times with a mediocre two-pair hand, prompting him to fold. (Yes, I felt like a tough guy). Anyway, the action was good, environment ok, and coffee terrible. I didn't play long, because I was with my pops - and when we're in a casino together, it's all dice, all the time. Still, another good poker venue to know about, if you're ever skiing in Tahoe."

As a professional writer, you can expect Pauly to be both entertaining and have excellent punctuation. Also, he seems to know poker which is a bonus on this side of the web. He is primarily a brick and mortar player, so you won't find any reviews of online poker rooms in his blogs. We didn't hold that against him in our ranking though. The Tao of Poker is a great spot to check out trip reports and general poker opinions.

Seat 1: Sugata
Seat 2: Rick
Seat 3: Om
Seat 4: Ferrari
Seat 5: Joel the banker
Seat 6: "Coach"
Seat 7: Lil Smith (Rick's brother)
Seat 8: Pauly!

1. I would play tighter in the first few hours.
2. Improve my Omaha game by playing less starting hands.

"I've got to let you go, Mr.Grubs," and I got ready to go back to more familiar waters, but I took my last hand in the BB. Ahh, Big Slick, and Grubs raised from the big blind. I reraised, and when the flop came 2 4 4, I felt pretty sure I had the best hand. Grubs bet out, I reraised, and he just called. I figured it would be nice to go out with a bang, and the 7 on the turn didn't worry me too much. The raise war continued, and I started to fear I was up against a pocket pair, so I just called...

"BG's big reason for inviting us, he said, was that he wanted to test his mettle against someone else who cares how good his game is. As it happens, I do care how my game is, because I happen to be a newly-minted poker pro... There ended up being two tables, one of seven and one (ours) of six. As luck would have it, BG, Gil, and I all ended up on the same table, along with one player who was OK but was getting drunk, one person who had a clue..."

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***** Hand History for Game 380966978 *****
50/100 TourneyTexasHTGameTable (NL) (Tournament 2213588) - Mon Feb 09 14:04:36 EST 2004
Table Card Room Table 4416 (Real Money) -- Seat 3 is the button
Total number of players : 7
Seat 1: MONEYMAKERl (1005)
Seat 2: PaulyMcGrupp (1050)
Seat 3: dedmone (1395)
Seat 5: KSUFB (1140)
Seat 7: jthunder (690)
Seat 8: oohwill (670)
Seat 10: sawatenaeo (2050)
KSUFB posts small blind (25)
jthunder posts big blind (50)
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to PaulyMcGrupp [ Th, Td ]
oohwill calls (50)
sawatenaeo calls (50)
MONEYMAKERl raises (100) to 100
PaulyMcGrupp raises (400) to 400
dedmone folds.
KSUFB folds.
jthunder folds.
oohwill folds.
sawatenaeo folds.
MONEYMAKERl raises (905) to 1005
MONEYMAKERl calls all-In.
PaulyMcGrupp calls (605)
** Dealing Flop ** : [ 6d, Jd, Kc ]
** Dealing Turn ** : [ 5h ]
** Dealing River ** : [ 7c ]
Creating Main Pot with $2185 with MONEYMAKERl
** Summary **
Main Pot: 2185 |
Board: [ 6d Jd Kc 5h 7c ]
MONEYMAKERl balance 0, lost 1005 [ Ah Qh ] [ high card ace -- Ah,Kc,Qh,Jd,7c ]
PaulyMcGrupp balance 2230, bet 1005, collected 2185, net +1180 [ Th Td ] [ a pair of tens -- Kc,Jd,Th,Td,7c ]

"Our new friend Pauly, the guru over at Tao of Poker is not just a poker player and philosopher, he's also a talented artist! Check out some of his paintings..."

"Janet Jackson is a talentless freaky-looking over the hill skank desperate for publicity but one saggy boob is NOT a matter to get all worked up about..."

Moneymaker started playing poker three years ago on the Internet. He had to borrow money from his father and a friend to go to Las Vegas so he could get comfortable playing on a table.

"It was the greatest 'Cinderella' story of the decade," said Joseph Bennett, poker manager for eight years at Boomtown. Moneymaker was at the Texas Hold'em Tournament on Friday night. It continues today at the Boomtown Casino and Hotel and gives poker players a chance to play against the champion. A total of 120 people put their names in a drawing for a chance to play against Moneymaker. They paid $20 for the entry fee and $100 for $500 in tournament chips.

Felix Martinez brought four hand-rolled cigars he'd made for his "hero."

"I gotta beat you," Dwaine "Lucky" Lehr said to the 2003 champion as he shook his hand. Lehr's wife, Judy, said her husband had spent hours watching him on television to learn Moneymaker's style.

Table Card Room Table 616 (Real Money)
Seat 6 is the button
Total number of players : 10
Seat 1: GePeach (800)
Seat 2: earthdogg (800)
Seat 3: jengel180 (800)
Seat 4: darcon (800)
Seat 5: El_Tel (800)
Seat 6: paparby (800)
Seat 7: PaulyMcGrupp (800)
Seat 8: strass2 (800)
Seat 9: brianjco (800)
Seat 10: BJBECKERS (800)

The actor ably demonstrated his capacity for abundant generosity during the 1998 Golden Globes ceremony when he handed over the award he had just won for portraying the title character of the cable film Don King: Only in America to fellow nominee Jack Lemmon, simply because he felt Lemmon's contributions to film exceeded his own.

Three of a Kind in Vegas April 15, 16, 17... Phish will play three shows at the Thomas and Mack Arena in Las Vegas on April 15, 16 and 17. These dates will be Phish's only shows before the summer.

Double Shootout Satellites are two-tiered satellites that award a $10,000 seat for the World Championship Event to a player who beats out 18 other players, nine at the First Table and nine more at the Final Table. Buy-in is $125 for the First Table. Winners of ten First Table satellites will return to play against each other at a Final Table. The winner of the Final Table will receive a $10,000 entry into the World Championship Event on Saturday May 22, 2004.

I've played a bunch of SNGs (on Pokerstars.com) over the last few months with pretty decent sucess and have a couple of tips to pass along... I strongly recommend playing extremely tight early on. I personally will only play the best hands (AA, KK, QQ, AKs) during the first two levels, maybe a few more in late position... because people will very often get knocked out early. To illustrate, a few times I've signed up for tourney's, then gone out for 15-20 minutes to run some quick errands -- (I don't recomment this as you should ideally be observing every hand to learn and take notes on people's tendencies) -- usually by the time I get back one and sometimes two players have already been knocked out, that's 25% of your opponents at a 1 table SNG! Granted you'll have lost $60 (2 rounds of blinds), but I'll trade $60 to narrow down the field that much anytime. Also when you're actually there (not out doing errands) you won't automatically have lost the $60, b/c you might have played a hand or two (either been dealt a premium hand, or gotten a "free" play in the big blind). This will also help to disguise your play to observant opponents when you start playing more hands as the blinds go up. Hope this helps, good luck man.

"Tao is the thing that accompanies all other things. Its name is Tranquility amid all Disturbances..."

And that's what it takes to become a winning player.... It takes a gut-check of our emotional discipline at the table to play each hand as they come, one by one, to shrug off the bad beats and play each hand in a vacuum. Don't think about the money, the last hand, the last hour. Just focus on playing *this* hand correctly.

Ugarte's Poker Grovel #9 or Mayday! Mayday!... Two games to report about, but only one is a story I really want to tell. One game was a silly affair in the Colorado mountains for stakes that small children would laugh at. I did quite well. The second was a game at Ferrari's place for home game stakes (2/4 for blind games and 5max raise for stud). It went quite poorly.

In front of Pauly and the entire staff of Rick's, I was kicked and beaten and left bleeding. Perhaps that is a bit dramatic, but I did lose $140, and it wasn't pretty.

I'd like to start with the small stakes game, but to the extent that anyone reads this at all, they are probably coming from other poker blogs, so I guess that I should start with the serious game. No matter how much it hurts to try to remember.

I don't even remember the details of where it went so wrong. All I know is that in the second hand of the night, I dropped almost my entire $60 buy-in in a hand of 2/4 Omaha/8. I suppose it makes me a poor blogger that I remember almost nothing about the hand. I remember that the pot was insanely large...

The depressing tally:
Rick +210
Ferrari +45.50 (though he somehow ended up with $46)
Christian +36 (impressive comeback after an early $200 hole)
Sugarta +0.50 (which Ferrari "forgot" to give him)
Pauly -12 (nice to meet a fellow blogger; hope he comes back)
Coach -34
Swish -100 (I think. He had some serious swings and went on full tilt to end the night.)
Ugarte -140 (Jesus. Did I just write that?)

Rick played his ass off. He was aggressive. He played strong hands well and represented enough tightness that when he bet, people backed off.

It's the most frustrating, wanting to commit suicide game! And the people who play are the pits. A friend of mine calls it Arguha, because all they do is sit around and argue and fight at the table (and that is true).

One of my favorite all-around people in the poker world is Daniel Negreanu. He's honest, cares about poker players, and was nice enough to reply to one of my emails. Here are... my questions:

1. How did you build up your bankroll when you first began playing?

2. Is there anything I can do to move up the ladder more quickly? Right now (when I'm not at my 9 to 5) I'm playing 2 or 3 $3-6 games online, or the $6-12 game at the local cardroom. I'm having excellent luck and have been successful just playing tight, solid poker. But I'd like to move up to the $10-20 game as soon as possible. My plan is to build a 500 small bet BR before playing in this game-- is this a decent bankroll in your opinion?

Ugarte's Poker Grovel #8.5 or Not Exactly a Real Grovel... Though it isn't the blogging ethos, I don't have time to write now. Check in Wednesday for a full report from my perspective on Monday's action, or go to Pauly's Tao of Poker for a report on the first blogger crossover home game that I know of.

A man despondent over losing a bet on the Super Bowl jumped from the Bronx-Whitestone Bridge Sunday night - and survived the 10-story leap after landing on grassy ground padded with snow, law-enforcement sources said yesterday.

Conde, of The Bronx, had a history of psychiatric and gambling problems, a police source said. Other sources said it was not known how much money he bet on the matchup between the Patriots and the Panthers or whom the bet was with.

"I think my buddy Pauly may need to lay off the wacky tobacky-- he actually listed me as the favorite in the Blogger tournament. Surely he couldn't have been sober when he posted these odds..."

"Pauly posted odds in the tourney but he's way off-base. Felicia, BG, Lord Grezsdlkdklf, Royal and many of the talented new kids were left off that list. I agree with Hank, everyone goes in at 9-2."

On Fridays, the riffle and slap of cards shuffled and played punctuates the chatter in Wanda Parks' third-grade math class. Students sit around desks pushed together to form tables, holding cards like seasoned poker... An adult at each table offers hints and encouragement as the students shout out numbers and occasional cries of triumph. By third grade, students are adept at solving math problems on paper and explaining their work....

Parks said other third-grade teachers are interested in teaching their students the game. If other classes learn it, the school may hold a tournament later in the year.

The Triple Pay Poker Tournaments are a series of 3 separate bi-weekly events. However, if you win all 3 Triple Plays in the same week, you will recieve a paid buy-in and entry fee into the 2004 World Poker Finals $10,000 WPT No-Limit Championship event (scheduled for Nov. 2004). Foxwoods is also adding $1,000 to the prize pool of each Triple Play event. Seating is limited.