Thursday, October 19, 2006

On the Road: 131 Daytrippers

Before we begin, I'd like to thank Jamie Gold for hooking me up with BoDog. They're a new sponsor and their tables have been extra fishy due to an influx of Party Pooper players. I have a secret screen name that no one knows about so I can play anonymously over there. Anyway, thanks to Jamie and BoDog.

Also, I was mentioned in a Business Week article written by Catherine Holahan called Online Gambling Goes Underground.

By the way take a peek at Flipchip's Fest al Lago photos from the WPT event at the Bellagio. Without a doubt, Flipchip is the best photographer in the business. And Spaceman is also the scene providing live updates.

Moving on...

After being in the NYC area for seven weeks, my nomadic wanderings shall begin again as I live out of my backpack for the next few months. I have embarked on a 131 day roadtrip where over the next four plus months, I'll never more than a week or two in one place.

My travels will find me boarding 18 different flights and getting into rental cars while I visit three continents on a arduous journey to Hollyweird, Las Vegas, Amsterdam, Rhode Island, Melbourne & Sydney Australia, London, and Deauville, France with the random stopovers in NYC for the holidays and multiple trips to Las Vegas and LA.

Of course these plans are loose and I have no problems deviating from my original itinerary. But I'll definitely be at the WPBT gathering in December and the Aussie Millions in Jan. 2007.

I'll be playing online poker and live poker in exotic places over the next few months and all of those poker-related incidents will be covered here at the Tao of Poker. If you want to see pics and read about my latest adventures stop by the Tao of Pauly or my music blog.

The last few weeks in the NYC area have been super productive. I went to the Boathouse, dropped 20 pounds, and finished the second draft of Jack Tripper Stole My Dog. Now it's time to go out into the world and soak up enough life so I can muster up enough material for a new book.

I wrote the original manuscript of JTSMD in ten days during November of 2002 for NaNoWriMo. I'm a better writer and story teller today and although the book won't necessarily be lauded by the literati as an epic work of fiction, it's still a story that I loved so much that I wanted to tell it again in today's voice. The plot and characters are the same. I deleted about 20% of the book (trimmed the fat) and added 10% new material (added hot sauce). The manuscript is tighter and flows better than the original, which a handful of you had the rare opportunity to read. Over the next few months, I will figure out the best way to self-publish so you can own your own copy of JTSMD.

I also created two iMixes over at iTunes. You need iTunes to view them. Here they are:
Jack Tripper Stole My Dog iMix Part I
Jack Tripper Stole My Dog iMix Part II
I picked a handful of tunes that I listened to over the last seven weeks while I wrote and edited the new draft which features some of my favorite bands and musicians such as Ben Harper , Galactic, Yonder Mountain String Band, Gomez, Afro Cuban All Stars, The Flaming Lips, My Morning Jacket, The Brian Jonestown Massacre, The Black Keys, Tea Leaf Green, Beck, Beastie Boys, Phish, Gipsy Kings, ALO, Buena Vista Social Club, Tom Waits, The Duhks, Charlie Parker, Matisyahu, Medeski Martin & Wood, Brandtson, Rilo Kiley, and the John Butler Trio. Not to mention a few bong-rattling classics from Pink Floyd, The Rolling Stones, Johnny Cash, The Grateful Dead, Jimmy Cliff, The Guess Who, The Yardbirds, and Traffic. The iMixes also include the Easy All-Stars performing sizzling reggae covers of Radiohead songs.

Feel free to download a few tunes or the entire thing. It's some quality music to write, play poker, or workout to. (By the way, I don't get a cent from iTunes so anything you spend goes to line their pockets, not mine.)

* * * * *

By the way, big thanks to Kat who's going to help redesign my JTSMD blog which is in dire need of a face lift. In the upcoming months, I'll be accepting ideas for the cover. Stay tuned for that.

And now's when I throw a few loyal readers a bone. I've never floated an excerpt or teaser to of JTSMD on the Tao of Poker. Now it's time. Here's a sample:
Jack Tripper Stole My Dog by Paul McGuire

My name is Ivan and I am a Russian cab driver from Brooklyn. I was born in Moscow and I lived there most of my life until I was drafted into the Red Army. I got shipped off to fight in Afghanistan. When I was injured in an ambush, I got sent home to Moscow. I was lucky. Most of my friends got sent home in body bags. I moved to New York City in 1982. I quit my job in Leningrad and my wife left me. She caught me having an affair with my boss' wife and his daughter. I did not love my wife. I was in love with her sister, but her sister committed suicide when she jumped off a building in our neighborhood.

I had no idea what to do. So I married my first wife. She was not a very good person. I was not happy. She smelled really bad and she couldn't cook. I was afraid that her father would kill me if I didn't marry her, so I did. After I cheated on her, my wife took my son back to Moscow and was going to tell her father, a well connected Captain in the police department. I knew I would be tortured or killed. I snuck out of Russia. It was actually a lot easier than you think. More people would do it if they had balls. Ah, they were afraid what would happen to them and their family if they were caught. The Party kept everyone in line with fear and intimidation. I was already afraid and I would rather face the Party than my father-in-law.

My brother Yuri was already here for a while. He found me part time work until I learned better English. I spoke very little when I lived in Brighton Beach. I painted apartments in Brooklyn and made no money but at least I had a job. That is how I met my second wife Olga. I painted her apartment. We both didn't speak English and my Ukrainian was not very good but Olga spoke perfect Russian. I never really liked her and kept seeing her because she was easy. After a couple of drinks, she would go down on me. Olga's visa was almost expired and she had no money to stay in America. I always suspected that she got pregnant on purpose so that she could stay in Brooklyn.

I would come home at night from my painter's job and drink as I watched my favorite TV shows. I learned English by watching The Brady Bunch, Bonanza, Good Times, and Taxi. When I learned to speak better English, Yuri said I should drive a cab. That's what he did when he came to America and he made good money. I had to send money home to Moscow for my son. I studied hard for the test and I got my hack license. I have been driving a cab ever since.

The job and the city is dangerous. So many times, my family begged me to quit my job after hearing about another cab driver killed in a robbery attempt. Olga told me to do other work but I hated working two jobs. I still have to do that today. I hate that I have to work every day of the week when everyone else in the city had weekends off. But Shitty job in America beats the best job in Siberia everyday of the week. A job is a job. All jobs suck. Some days I hate my job because I have to drive around rich assholes. But driving around New York is better than working in the factories in Leningrad. Driving a cab is better than being a soldier in the Red Army. It's better than working for my brother. I love New York City. Times Square. Central Park. Fifth Avenue by the museums. Chinatown. Greenwich Village. Williamsburg. Hamilton Heights. The Riverside Drive. The Brooklyn Bridge. SoHo.

I don't mind the traffic. I get to daydream and watch all the pretty women from all over the world. I like to watch people. If I am stuck in traffic, I look at people. This is the greatest city in the world to watch people.

America is a great place. I hear everybody complain about this country everyday. I hear people say, 'Fuck America!' and 'Fuck George Bush!' and I usually tell them 'If you don't like America, then leave! I will drive you to the airport.' Maybe if they live in Russia or in Mexico or in the Ukraine for one year, they might come back with a better attitude. I tell my wife that everyday. She is always unhappy. She always says she wants to go back home to the Ukraine. And some days, when I get really drunk I yell 'Go back to the farm, you pig!' It sounds funnier in Russian. I told her she should go home and I would pay for the ticket. And she does not.

Some days I am sad. This is a lonely city. I spent a lot of money to bring my son over here and he does not talk to me. He hates me. When he wants money, then he calls me. I have a daughter who sometimes drives me crazy and she doesn't talk to her mother. But I am happy when I am with my girlfriend. She makes me happy. She makes me feel special. Yes. I have a wife and a girlfriend. And no, my wife does not know about my angel. My little sex kitten. I met her many years ago. She went to school with my daughter. They are best friends. They used to be lovers.

My wife is having an affair herself. She has a lover too. And I know the guy. He works for my brother. In fact, I caught them a few hours ago. He was fucking my wife, while I was at work. I went home to take a shit and there they were.

I have been driving a cab for almost twenty years. I have been driving a limo too, on weekends for over ten years as well. I drive people from all over the world, from all kinds of jobs, and all kinds of problems. Sometimes when I drive the limo, I get a lot of people who think they are celebrities. They are the worst. They treat me like shit. They are very disrespectful. They always trash the limos. I have to clean up after them. Puke, piss, shit, cum, blood, you name it. In the cab, I meet famous people all the time.

Please don't tell anyone, but I drink while I drive. But I have been drinking vodka since I was nine years old. This is like water for me. I need it. New York is a strange city. Over the years a lot of weird stuff happened. These days, almost nothing shocks me anymore. I have seen it all. There are a lot of mentally disturbed people in this city. I had to drive pregnant ladies to the hospital. Four last year. An old woman had a heart attack in my cab a few months ago. She died. I saw a man get hit by a city bus last week.

Sometimes I get a hooker and her client and instead of getting a hotel room, she sucks his dick in the back seat of my cab. I used to hate it at first, but now I do not mind. Hookers always tip me better. Better than celebrities if you can believe that! Lots of blow jobs. I dunno what it is, but New Yorkers have a lot of oral sex in cabs. And I like to watch. I watch all the time...

Would you buy this book?

No comments:

Post a Comment