Just Because You're Not Paranoid, Doesn't Mean They're Not After You

By Pauly
Hollyweird, CA

When I first met Grubby in Atlantic City many years ago, he told me about the $50 bill jinx. Since then, I never carry around fifties. That superstition only applies to US currency only. In the last year, I've carried out 50 Pound notes, $50 Aussie bucks, $50 Kiwi bucks, and 50 Euro bills. The only bad luck attributed to those notes were that by the time I cashed them back into greenbacks, the US dollar was worth less than when I sold them. That's not bad luck, that's just poor money management from our leaders.

$100 bills are the main staple to any live cash game players diet. I'm not a big time baller who has the clattering of 5K and 25K Bellagio chips emanating from my pocket.

But have you inspected your $100 bills recently?

Have you noticed those strange marking on $100 bills?

And does anyone have any idea where those strange markings have come from?

Check your rolls. About 10% have some sort of marking on the back, like a mini stamp. The Poker Grump first clued me in on this phenomenal circumstance. He penned three posts on the subject of marked bills.

Here's a few examples from my roll...








I'm still trying to figure the last one out. It looks like a turtle is choking George Washington who is smoking a big fat doobie.

The Poker Grump eluded that the strange markings are some sort of Satanic ritual. I'd buy that theory based on exhibit #3.

Do casinos mark their bills? Do banks track their bills?

The little marks don't bother me as much as the rumor that U.S. currency has RIFD tracking devices embedded into the bills. The EU started tracking their Euros in 2005 and some suspect that the Yanks followed suit soon after.

And you thought you could fly stealthily under the radar of Big Brother by using cash for shady purchases such as a rub & tug, a bag of weed, a King Kong dildo, or even the latest Justin Timberlake CD. That's no longer possible.

Tin Foil Hat Time: Several conspiracy theorists believe that there is an RFID device embedded in $20 bills behind Andrew Jackson's right eye. These folks microwaved their bills as proof. See your yourself. These are the same folks who wrap their big bills in tin foil so they won't show up on scanners.

Time for a Tao of Poker Orwellian Contest. I will send $20 to your Full Tilt or Poker Stars account to the first person to produce a You Tube video of them successfully nuking one of Andrew Jackson's evil eye balls. You're on the clock...

Disclaimer: Tao of Poker and it's author are not responsible for any physical, emotional, or karmic damages incurred during the running of the Tao of Poker Orwellian Contest. If you lose a finger, that's your fault dumbass!


Original content written and provided by Pauly from Tao of Poker at www.taopoker.com. All rights reserved. RSS feeds are for non-commercial use only.