Monday, May 19, 2008

Catcher in the Razz

By Pauly
Hollyweird, CA

"People always think something's all true." - Holden Caufield in Chapter 2 of The Catcher in the Rye
I had a mellow weekend which started with a Friday lunch with JoeSpeaker, followed up by some beach time up in Malibu with Change100, and a STS9 concert at the House of Blues in West Hollywood on Saturday night.

The rest of my weekend was filled with writing and a substantial amount of couch time, smoking, and watching a slew of basketball and baseball. I recently purchased package so I can watch Yankees games from my laptop this summer and whatever games I might happen to wager on.

I lost my only NHL playoff prop bet which was with jeciimd. I bet him that my Rangers would beat his Penguins. Fat chance. The Penguins smoked the Rangers and then stomped the Flyers. Crosby and company are looking good.

I've been betting the NBA playoffs with surprisingly success. What a difference a year makes! In the West, the L.A. Lakers have been my horse. I'm 7-1 betting them for a heady profit. In the East, the Celtics fucked me a few times during their hair-pulling series against Atlanta and their seven game shootout with LeBron James and the Cavs.

Over at Twitter, I made a bold prediction on Sunday morning and suggested that the Celtics would win Game 7 but not cover. It didn't look too good in the first half when the Celtics opened up a ten point lead. But the Cavs rallied in the second half and kept it close enough for me to win my bet. They made me look like a genius.

Usually I love to sweat the action, but I left at the start of the 4th quarter to grab a late lunch. Just as I was paying the check, my buddy Senor sent me a text just about the time I started to wonder about the outcome of the game.

"Good call. Congrats!"

Celtics beat the Cavs by five to advance to the East Conference Finals and I won my bet. Too bad it wasn't enough to cover my poker losses for the week.

* * * * *

I logged several thousand hands of online poker over the last week and I'm stuck almost 1K after a rollercoaster weekend at the tables. Here's a sample of the swings... +610, -563, +450, -440, -623, -503, +377, -421, +217.

I had a couple of decent sessions at 2/4 NL. I wish I could say the same for 1/2 NL. I made a couple of mistakes but also took a couple of sick beats.

For the first time in a while, I multi-tabled 8/16 Limit on FT. Of course, the second table broke quickly which was a shame since I was on a heater.

I had a donkalicious session playing 1/2 PLO. I issued a wicked bad beat on a foul mouthed German from Berlin, but karmic payback swung back my way and decimated my big stack.

I played in the Brit Bloggerment on Sunday afternoon. I made the final table but didn't make the money when I busted out in 5th place. I busted DropDeadFred early on when I rivered a runner-runner straight flush with Js-9h.

Typical Razz hand for your hero...

Ah, and then I had a horrible 3/6 Razz session with Otis on Sunday. I played like a maniac, but also collected enough bricks to reconstruct most of New Orleans lower 9th Ward.

Lucky for me the Yankees/Mets slaughterfest appeared on ESPN which prevented me from bleeding away more chips.

I can't explain it, but I'm always in a foul mood after I play Razz. As soon as I was done, I wanted to drown a bag full of puppies or microwave a litter of kittens. FBI psychologists say that sort of behavior (hurting cute furry animals) exhibits early signs of serial killer tendencies.

Razz is the Catcher in the Rye of mixed games. Just another mechanism of control from Big Brother. If you don't believe me, ask the Human Head or Alex Jones.

Razz is a secret training ground to recruit governmental assassins. Playing too many Razz hands transforms responsible citizens like you and me into cold-blooded killers. The person next to you at your online Razz table might be the next Manchurian Candidate.

It's an obscure fact that Mark David Chapman and John Hinkley shared a love for J.D. Salinger and Razz. Coincidence?

Fact: During WWII, years before he penned Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger worked for the Defense Intelligence and the Counter Intelligence Corps (CIC). Since he was fluent in French and German, he was involved in the denazification of Germany and participated in the interrogation of captured Nazis.

Fact or Fiction? Some conspiracy theorists believe that Salinger participated in Operation Paperclip, which included integrating Nazi spies and scientists into the highest ranks of the American Intelligence Community. At the end of WWII, several hundred Nazis were smuggled out of Germany and became the core of the "new U.S. intelligence, defense and aerospace establishments."

Tin Foil Hat Time: Some wackos believe that Salinger wrote The Catcher in the Rye as a mechanism of control to be utilized in various CIA mind-control experiments such MK-Ultra and Project Artichoke.

Fact or Fiction? A copy of The Catcher in the Rye was found in possession of both Mark David Chapman (John Lennon's killer) and John Hinkley (aka the guy who tried to whack Ronald Reagan).

Disclaimer: I went to Catholic school but it was nothing like the prep school full of phonies that Holden Caufield attended. During 7th grade English class, students were assigned book reports and given different books based upon their reading level. Most of the class got assigned A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. I was the only student given a copy of A Catcher in the Rye.

Warning: If you are playing Razz at my table and see the Queen of Hearts as my door card, you're doomed. Better start running...

Cryptic Ending: Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.

Original content written and provided by Pauly from Tao of Poker at All rights reserved. RSS feeds are for non-commercial use only.

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