Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Poker Prof's Noble Free Roll

Quick Note: the WPBT WSoP Satellite #3 is being hosted tonight by Iggy on Noble Poker at 9pm EST. Hurry up and sign up right now!

Oh and happy birthday, Fat Guy!!

Poker Prof and the Freeroll

The Poker Prof held his very first free roll on Noble Poker last night. If you don't know, The Poker Prof and Flip Chip from are reaching their first anniversary of spectacular blogging. In a very short time, they have jumped to the top of the heap regarding all things poker in Las Vegas. Pictures, tournament reports, insider info are just some of the many kick ass things you will find on their site. Yeah, that also makes them a target of piracy which happens when you are one of the best at what you do. I am so frigign' lucky that the Poker Prof asked me to join his team at to cover the World Series of Poker. When he announced his free roll with Noble, I jumped at the chance to play.

With $200 in prize money up for grabs, 193 players entered. The top 15 were paid with $50 going to the winner.

I only recognized StB and Buffalo66 at my table. Heck, I barely recognized anyone who was playing. Where the hell did these people come from? The rest were readers and vultures waiting to score some free money. Joanne, Iggy, and Bad Blood were seated at the same table. In these big events, I find a table with the most bloggers that I know and sweat them. Noble only allows 3 tables up at one time so I had me, those guys, and Derek's table up.

9:05pm EST... My 99 held up and I began stopping at random tables wishing my friends good luck.

9:09pm EST... I raised a huge amount preflop with KK in the Godzilla of overbets. One guy called with JJ and he doubled me up. I had over T3200 in chips and moved into the Top 10. I love getting chips early.

9:10pm EST... With 10h-9h, I flopped an open ended straight flush draw. I went to the river in a three way pot and missed all my draws along the way.

9:13pm EST... I made another huge overbet preflop with AKs. The little blind had the only other bigger stack than me and he called with 10-9o. The guy was an uber-fish. I was first to act and was positive that he did not have a pocket pair, so I moved all in on the flop and the lucky fooker outflopped me. I was knocked out in 168th place! Unreal. I could have check-folded since I missed my flop, but that guy was playing J3s and crap like that. Oh well that's what happens in free rolls... the fish flock.

9:27pm EST... AlCantHang dropped the Hammer! Iggy had doubled up and was looking good.

9:28pm EST... AlCantHang won a pot with the Hilton Sisters.

9:37pm EST... Derek made a mistake with the buttons and he called a huge all-in bet by accident. He had 10-3o and we know how well Derek's been playing. He would never push with that. Again, he wasn't too familiar with the software and fucked up. Hopefully he'll fare much better tonight.

10:00pm EST... AlCantHang won a big pot with the Hilton Sisters. At the first break, Maudie was in 3rd place.

10:12pm EST... AlCantHang and the Poker Prof sat at the same table. Talk about the ying and the yang. The last two times the Poker Prof had an excessive amount to drink was with me in Vegas and AlCantHang in LA. We're a bad influence!

10:28pm EST... The Poker Prof moved all in with 77. Unfortunately he ran into QQ and was knocked out.

10:40pm EST... Bad Blood was the serious short stack. He flexed his muscles and went on a mini run. He moved all-in two times in a row spurred on by a gaggle of railbirds. He tripled up one time and doubled up the other. Mala sangre en fuego!

10:46pm EST... Big Slick Nuts went on a streak of luck himself. With 88 he beat out AK after he caught a runner-runner straight and doubled up. I think he ate two bowls of Lucky Charms for breakfast.

10:48pm EST... Maudie was knocked out in 21st place. There was one nimrod named Jas123 who had been harassing Maudie and other players all night. When I witnessed his antics I felt compelled to step in. After I kindly asked him to refrain from his attacks on the players, he even asked "Who the hell are you?" I responded, "They guy who is going to stomp on you for harassing my friends." Don't fuck with my friends. If I do, I'll ship you off to Hill Jack country and let some of Daddy's Greene County boys reenact scenes from Deliverance with you. And yeah, you're going to be playing the role of the pig. "Squeal like a pig!"

10:49pm EST... We reached the final two tables. Only Bad Blood, Trip Jax, Big Slick Nuts, and CKPony were left among the bloggers.

10:53pm EST... I began calling Big Sick Nuts a new name... Big Luck Nuts after he sucked out another player! His AT went up against AJ and won when he river'd the ten.

11:02pm EST... Bad Blood was finally knocked out in 17th place.

11:10pm EST... By the third break, Big Luck Nuts had the chiplead.

11:27pm EST... We made the final table with three bloggers left. Big Luck Nuts was the chipleader.

11:29pm EST... In one of the biggest hands of the free roll, three players moved all in preflop. Big Luck Nuts had AK. AFoil had AQ and CKPony was the short stack with JT. AFoil sucked out a straight and won the main pot. Big Luck Nuts won the side pot.

11:32pm EST... CKPony was knocked out by a set. He took 10th place.

11:37pm EST... TripJax lost a big pot when his 99 lost to AK.

11:40pm EST... BigLuckNuts won with AA and knocked out JTW.

11:41pm EST... With a short stack, TripJax moved all in with QJ. He flopped a pair and caught trips on the river and tripled up.

11:43pm EST... BigLuckNuts ran into some bad luck when his 55 lost a coinflip to Sedeucer's AQ.

11:45pm EST... TripJax moved all in with the Hilton Sisters and lost to AJ when an ace fell on the turn. Ouch! He played great once again. On the next hand Big Luck Nuts beat out Cardozer and we reached the final three players. BigLuck Nuts had a small chiplead.

11:51pm EST... Seduecer moved into the chip lead. He knocked out JimineeJilagers in 3rd place.

11:53pm EST... Heads up! Big "Luck" Slick Nuts was the last remaining blogger and the few who stuck around gave him all the best vibes we could. He was outchipped almost 2 to 1. He won a few pots to get close. His AK beat out QJ and I thought he was going to pull it out.

11:54pm EST... The lucky streak ended. Big Slick Nuts hit part of a flop with 56o. Seduecer also hit a flop with 86o. The both pushed with the board reading: A-8-5. Running sevens fell and that didn't improve Big Slick Nuts' hand. He took second and won $40. An impressive run for sure. Good job. Congrats to Seduecer for winning first place and $50. Good job for sure.

Don't forget to sign up tonight for the WPBT WSoP Satellite #3 tonight at 9pm EST!

***** *****

Finally, I will settle all this high school bickering about switching from Poker Stars to Noble Poker with this simple statement: Otis can now play with us.

Last night Derek pointed out that since Otis is an employee of Poker Stars, he has been unable to play on that site with us. Playing with Otis is priceless. The move was necessary to accommodate Otis' situation. That's what friends do. If you are new to the scene, Otis is the man and it really sucked that he had to sit on the sidelines for the last two. The way I see it, having Otis in the mix is worth a billion times more than any paltry affiliate revenues that I, Iggy, or Prof will generate.

Oh by the way for the record, I am not a "blogger affiliate" with Noble Poker. I do have a business relationship with them and the specifics are none of your damn business. That ends that debate.

If you are a random blogger who is getting zero sign ups and is steaming, what can I say other than that if you were a better poker player, you would not need to rely on affiliate sign ups for revenue. Suckout had a great post on how much of a pain in the ass affiliates can be. Here's a bit:
You can't simply say "Hey, you suck. I checked out the affiliate program details and you're getting like $100/signup for every player you refer to IBlowGoats Poker. You're getting rich because like fifty or sixty people are going to sign up through your links and you just want the money and don't care about any of us or if the site is a good one or anything like that. Waah."

99% of the time, the people spouting such stuff are failed affiliates themselves, and have put up some links, check their stats constantly, yet never see a single signup or sale. They make the mistake of thinking that if they just had the same traffic as BigShot McGee, they'd be making thousands and thousands of dollars, living the high life, smoking thick cigars. What they don't realize is that the reason they're not successful is because they're not willing or able to do the work necessary to be a success.
I wonder if I'm BigShot McGee? Hehehehe. Great post, Suckout.

Any proceeds that I generate this month from my affiliate links on other sites (Party Poker, Poker Stars, Full Tilt) will be going to cover the cost of my bar tabs in Vegas. I don't expect to get a lot, so this week all my $3/$6 winnings will go towards the bar fun as well. And I'm a generous drunk which means I'll be paying for a lot of your fun in Vegas. I am also looking to fund my next trip to Indiana to further investigate the donkey fucker phenomenon.

OK, moving on, my cock is this big...

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