Tao of Poker

For Drizz...

I played 2,517 $200+15 SNGs on Poker Stars last night and had no less than 55 going at one time. I'm pretty sure I'll reach Quadruple Supernova Status by April 15th. I took first place in 301 of them, 2nd in 413, and 3rd in just 14. I bubbled out in 1,069 of them.

I prefer going all in on every hand. Shoving my stack all-in is the best play for any given situation, since I'm making several hundred of decisions virtually instantly and never have time to think things over since Baby Nerd has been up all night with a cold. The fish's mantra "when in doubt, push" isn't far from reality.

I think the quest for Quadruple Supernova has finally taken its toll. I mean, I want the seat in the WSOP main event, the Ferrari and 14 Thai hookers, but the losses are affecting me more than they should and Mrs. Nerd's patience is running thin. The wins aren't nearly enough to keep my sanity. I haven't had a single big win since March 4 and my SNG breakeven stretch has extended beyond 10,000 games.

Yeah, I know 8-3 beats AA one time in twenty, but I'm still waiting for my 5% (or my 95% for that matter). I see the flop come 543 and I just know what's about to happen. All I want right now is a hand that plays itself and doesn't require a quick prayer to my god of choice to avoid some 1 in 20 river beating.

Oh my. It's 5:35am and I've been up for four days straight splitting time drinking Redbull, commuting to my awful job, and playing SNGs non-stop from 11pm to sunrise. Maybe I should quit my job and become a fulltime SNG player?

Editor's Note: If you are completely retarded and have no clue who I'm talking about, this is my homage to the Poker Nerd! Happy April Fools to the Nerd... one of my favorite all time poker bloggers.