The gambling ramblings of Pauly -- a writer, traveler, and degenerate

 
Tao of Poker: 2005 Year in Review Part 2

Here's the conclusion of my year in review post. If you haven't read 2005 Year in Review Part 1, then please do so first.

I started the second half of the year in Las Vegas a few days before the start of the main event at the WSOP. After spending the rest of the summer in Las Vegas, I would end up in Colorado, South Carolina, Amsterdam, Barcelona, Atlantic City, the Boathouse, Foxwoods, Rhode Island, Los Angeles, New York City, and back in Vegas two more times. I covered a slew of poker tournaments along the way.


July

July started with me having a mental breakdown a few days before the WSOP main event. The Redneck Riviera and the intense Nevada summer heat were making me crazy. The bad food. The lack of sleep. The depression. The deadlines. The bad beat stories. The misery. It was all fucking with my head and I lost my shit more than once in July.

Here are two final tables that I live blogged:

Event #32 $5K Omaha8
Event #34 Senior's NL

I saw Paul McKinney become the oldest person to ever win a WSOP bracelet.

I went to the Full Tilt party held at La Bete in the Wynn. The dress code was LA Chic. I had no idea what that meant. I went with Shirley and I hung out with a ton of media folks including a bunch of bloggers. I ended up closing out the bar drinking past last call with Daniel Negreanu, the Poker Prof, and two Irish Guys.

On the same day that AlCantHang came out to surprise me and Otis, I met Wil Wheaton for the first timeand we hung out and bullshitted for a while. He was supposed to play in the main event in less than 24 hours from the time we met. I showed him the empty table he would end up sitting at. It was the same day as the WSOP Media/Celebrity event. I cashed in my first WSOP event and made my first WSOP final table. I also cracked Shannon Elizabeth's A-A with JJ. I was Otis' table to start and I got A-A in back to back hands. I busted him and build up a huge chip lead. I was also seated next to Lou Krieger at some point.

During the main event, I met DoubleAs for the first time. He would end up cashing in his first and only WSOP event.

The WSOP $10K main event started. The last two days were held in Benny's Bullpen at the Horseshoe. Here are my live blogging updates:

Day 1A
Day 1B
Day 1C
Day 2
Day 3
Day 4
Day 5
Day 6
Day 7 - The Final Table

Be sure to take a peek at the Poker Prof's hard work in his 2005 WSOP tournament results page. And look at Flipchip's 2005 WSOP photo gallery.

Everyone knows that Joe Hachem from Australia won the 2005 WSOP main event. He took home $7.5 million and I got to experience the 2005 WSOP from nearly the start to the finish. It was one of the most exhilarating experiences of my life. I might cover WSOP events in the future, but it's never quite the same as your first one. I have the Poker Prof to thank for the entire thing. He said we were going to pull it off... and with Flipchip's help... we did.

A few weeks ago The Prof told me that I was the single most read writer at the WSOP, even more so than Nolan Dalla. He estimated that more than one million people read something of mine during the 2005 WSOP either on the Tao of Poker, Poker Player Newspaper, Fox Sports, MSN, and some of the other sites that I write for. I was blown away by that number and still refuse to believe that was possible. He broke it down by the numbers and although it adds up, it's still a disturbing number. If I knew that then... I would have freaked out and choked. As is, despite some problems and rough patches, I came out of the WSOP as a legitimate poker tournament reporter. Some of that was due to Felicia's suggestions along with Otis' help, Flipchip's Obi-wan like guidance, and Poker Prof's persistent belief in me.

Wil gave me some great advice and insisted that I take my dinner breaks for "me" time. I ended up rushing off to the Hooker Bar to drink with Otis. For a while it was our favorite time of the day. We'd drink sometimes for free and made sure we didn't talk about poker. We discussed anything except poker. That was our only rule. For an hour everyday we escaped the insanity of the WSOP. We didn't have deadlines or readers eagerly awaiting updates. We were just two dudes drinking away our troubles at a bar in Las Vegas, checking out the talent and swapping a few stories in the process. One of the highlights of the WSOP.

I appeared on a few episodes of Lord Admiral's Card Club podcast including episode 33, episode 34, and episode 35.

BG set up the Charlie Tuttle Memorial Tournament on Poker Stars which was won by SarahBellum.

I took a few days off and ended up back to work. I headed to the Bellagio and covered the Day 2 of the Challenge Cup which featured a ton of top pros. Toby Maguire made the final table. Flipchip was recognized for the first time by a fan! I never saw him so excited.

I discovered that the Tao of Poker was mentioned in an article in the Online Journalism Review called Gonzo poker bloggers bring World Series to life in real time. Here's a bit:

At the 2005 World Series of Poker in Las Vegas, which wrapped up last week, the blogging star was "Dr. Pauly", a struggling screenwriter and novelist who became a poker fanatic.

I met Grubby's sister Grubbette for the first time. We played Pai Gow at the MGM and drank heavily.

I hung around Vegas and played a ton of poker. I took 3rd place in a tournament at Sam's Town. Flipchip took second!

One of my favorite non-WSOP posts from July included Kicked in the Junk by the Hiltons.

I headed over to the Plaza and watched Andy Bloch win the Ultimate Poker Challenge. I saw a bunch of pros shooting dice including Phil Ivey, Gavin Smith, The Grinder, John Juanda, and Erick Lindgren.

Senor came to Las Vegas for a weekend bender which included a ton of strip clubs, drinking, and poker.

I also wrote a review of Charlie Shoten's book No Limit Life.

I ended the month way up. I bumped up in limits and played $10/$20 at the Mirage along with $8/$16 at the Bellagio. The cash in the Sam's tourney helped pad the bankroll. I also found myself playing at Mandalay Bay in a series of hit and run sessions.

*****


August

I ended July on the top of my poker game and my career. It seemed that everyone was finally going on right. I had a decent routine. I'd wake up in the late afternoon. I'd write and do a few hours of work. I'd either meet Grubby out for a cheap meal or a buffet or fend for myself at In & Out, Wild Wild West's cheap ass diner, or Wendy's. I seemed to rotate those three every few days. Night's were reserved for poker. If I was hanging out with Grubby, we'd hit up Palms or Sunset Station or Excalibur. We became infatuated with a hot chiprunner that worked at the Castle. Plus with double wheel spins, it was worth playing just for the bonuses. If I was by myself, I'd go to the Mirage, Bellagio or Mandalay Bay.

I padded my bankroll by hitting two high hand jackpots, both at $4/8 Kill tables at Palms and Mandalay Bay. I turned quad Aces and quad Jacks. I scooped huge pots too and walked away up almost a grand for both jackpots combined. When I played at the Excalibur with Grubby we used to kill the boredom with betting on wheel spins. That's where it all began. We'd end up even on most nights but like I said, it gave us some action in between folding hands. Yeah, we became Vegas rounders.

I appeared on a few episodes of Lord Admiral's Card Club podcast including episode 37, episode 38, and episode 40.

I published another installment of Existentialist Conversations with Strippers.

Wil was asked to be the keynote speaker at Barge and he invited me as his guest. Wil joked around that I had more fans there than he did. Anyway, he read experts of Lying in Odessa and he kicked ass during his speech. I got to shmooze with some of the Bargers and hung out with Jen Leo, Sarah Bellum, Russ Fox, and Lou Krieger.

I had some interesting things to say on the 10th anniversary of Jerry Garcia's death.

I finally moved out of the Redneck Riviera and moved in with Grubby for my last week in Las Vegas.

After almost three months of living in Las Vegas, I left for the first time and flew to Boulder, Colorado to hang out with my buddy the Joker. We headed to Red Rocks to see a Trey Anastasio Band concert (and STS9 opened up). We partied with hipsters in Denver, partied with hippies up in the mountains, and I even did a little climbing in Rocky Mountain National Park. I posted a mini-trip report with pictures.

I finally returned back to NYC but only for a few days. I also quietly celebrated the 2 year anniversary of the start of the Tao of Poker.

I got on a plane and flew with Derek to G-Vegas for the Brad-o-Ween festivities. The Bloods were kind enough to put us up for the weekend and we crashed in the mini-Blood's rooms while they were shipped off with the grandparents. The mini-Bloods must have been pumped when they got home and noticed that Daddy, Derek, Iggy, and myself stuffed their piggy banks with $20 and $100 bills as a "tip" for letting us crash.

On the night before Brad-o-Ween, we played a tournament at Bad Blood's and I took second place. I lost to Otis heads up. Maudie got hit over the head by BadBlood with a chair. We went out to a dive bar and I got BG to drink a rusty tin of ice water for $5. I also got Otis to down a cup of ranch dressing for $5. Props bets were flowing and bloggers were doing weird shit after midnight in the deep south.

Brad-o-Ween kicked off at Noon with authentic Carolina BBQ and a poker tournament. I ended up making it all the way to the money and came from behind to tie Big Pirate. We ended up chopping first place. The Drunkolympics were next and Derek and I were on Team Good with G-Rob (Captain), Lefty, Al Cant Hang, Derek, and Iggy (alternate). We were close to winning it but lost by a slim margin. Lefty destroyed BigMike in a Cheezepuff eating contest and I choked in both of my events. Derek puked. BG passed out or "took a nap" according to his accounts of the incident. You had to experience the AlCantHang experience. There were Hooters girls showing their goodies and a wet t-shirt contest. The Smiths were climbing trees and Bad Blood had to be taken home early. All in all, it was one of my favorite trips all year. A recap of Day 2 is here.

When I got back to NYC, I played in my first home game in months at the Blue Parrot. It featured the return of two old school members of the Blue Parrot... Rick Blaine and Swish. Of course the highlight was when Om got Ferrari on mega-tilt after he cracked his aces.

After settling back into living in NYC again, I found a groove at the tables and writing wise. I penned one of my favorite posts of all time called Masturbation and Poker.

I ended the month up and way up for the year. I tripled my bankroll during my time in Las Vegas. I cashed in two big tourneys and picked up a few jackpots along the way. I was happy to be home but I knew I had only a few days to get my shit together and hit the road once again.

*****


September

September was a fun month. I worked pretty hard writing a ton of freelance stuff to start but ended up going to Europe for almost two weeks while visiting Spain for the first time to cover a European Poker in Barcelona. I reunited with Briana for a few days in Amsterdam. I then had one of the toughest legs of travel in my life. Flights from Barcelona to Paris to Amsterdam to NYC. Then a rental car drive from NYC to Atlantic City to cover my first World Poker Tour Event at the Borgata. Before I went home, I stopped off at in Malvern, PA to party down at AlCantHang's annual Bash at the Boathouse. A slew of bloggers were there and I met Mrs. Spaceman for the first time.

September was also when Hurricane Katrina sunk New Orleans. I did what I could and donated a lot of my bankroll and pimped a slew of relief tournaments.

Derek played in Hurricane Katrina Relief tournament on Full Tilt and ended up winning two hands against Phil Gordon. He rivered a gutshot on one hand.

Daddy quit his blog. I wrote in response:

Daddy not blogging is like watching Seinfeld without Kramer.
Daddy not blogging is like eating fat-free ice cream.
Daddy not blogging is like drinking O'Douls.
Daddy not blogging is like having sex with a dead cat that's not really dead.
I might have to start calling Daddy the Trey of Poker Bloggers.

While meeting a friend for lunch, I bumped into Joaquin aka The Rooster in front of Grand Central Station.

Nolan Dalla was kind enough to hook me up with a freeroll into one of the WCOOP events. I got in as a member of the media. Out of 2146, I finished in 1914th place.

I had a few fun days in Amsterdam. I posted Day 1 and Day 2.

I also had a few random things to say about my first few days in Spain. I spent some time in Sitges with Otis' lovely assistant Mad, where she lives. I headed to Barcelona to cover the EPT event. I stayed in the Princess Hotel and they gave you a free mini-bar.

I did some live blogging of Day 1. I met Brandon Schaefer who won one event last year and took second at the Grand Finale in Monte Carlo. Before I had a chance to introduce myself, he walked up to me and said, "I love your blog, man."

We ended up drinking together, having a few meals with the Poker Stars crew, and hanging out. I met some cool guys from Gutshot, hung out with Howard from Poker Stars, and drank with the Irish guys Lucky Blind and Murphy. I even got to have coffee with Isabelle Mercier.

Of course the craziest thing was having John Duthie, creator of the EPT, ask me to announce the featured TV table. Sitting there were Brandon, Gus Hansen, WPT winner Christer Johansen, Daniel Larrson, and David O'Callahan. Man, was I fuckin' nervous. I messed up a few times. But it was OK.

On Day 2, I both live blogged the final table and announced it as well! I was shocked that they asked me to do it. But how could I turn that down. I messed up one hand and thought Gus Hansen won when he lost to a straight. I apologized later and he laughed it off. Jan Boubli, a former dentist from France, ended up winning his first EPT event.

I flew back to America and headed to the Borgata to cover the WPT event. I missed the first day, but I was there for Day 2. I met the new hostess Courtney Friel for the first time. I saw my old media friends and fell back into a groove. Day 3 was one of the longest I ever days of work I've ever had. I was there to almost 5am waiting for the TV table bubble to burst.

I finally blogged my first ever final table on the WPT.

Derek came down and we met up with Spaceman and his lovely wife. We also sweated Spaceman when he played in a US Poker Championships event at the Taj. Afterwards we headed over to the Boathouse for a pre-party. We got pretty snookered. The day of the Boathouse started off with StB winning the Good & Plenty Classic. We played some poker at the Boathouse then watched Bobby Bracelet make a complete fool of himself when he wasted his A-Game on a C- girl. The lowlight of the night came when someone (Derek, Joaquin, or Helixx) offered me $10 to take a piss in a corner where Bobby Bracelet and his conquest were sucking face in the corner. Anyway, Derek didn't puke and Otis was drunker than Tara Ried on St. Patrick's Day. The recap for Bash at the Boathouse 5 is here.

ESPN began airing the WSOP and I was spotted during the Johnny Chan episode. Derek asked me what I was talking to Doyle Brunson about. I recall asking Doyle, "At his peak game, who's better Johnny Chan or Stu Ungar?"

I didn't get to play as much poker as I wanted in September. Instead I sought out some new adventures and saw Briana for the first time in over four months. I finished up for the month and up for a third consecutive month. My bankroll hit five figures for the first time and I got to announce a final TV table. In the Casino de Barcelona while standing with a microphone a few feet from Gus Hansen, I had one of those moments like, "How the fuck did I get here?"

*****


October

Although I was losing patience with a demanding work and travel schedule, my writing flourished in October. I worked on my Las Vegas book, wrote a couple of chapters for DoubleAs Poker Hack's book, and cranked out some of the best poker and philosophy posts to date.

My favorite had to be Empiricism, Kierkegaard, Catholic High School Girls, and Poker. I also came away from writing that post with five main objectives to my poker game:

1. Rededicate myself as a student of the game.
2. Continue to play as much as I can to develop into a good player in the long run.
3. Daily wins and losses don't mean as much as making good and quality decisions.
4. Continue to identify and isolate my weaknesses.
5. Maintain focus at the tables.

I probably dropped to a new low when I delved deep into female ejaculation and squirting.

I came back a few days later with a much more insightful and serious post with the Tao of Risk where I discussed risk management, Wall Street, and Sun Tzu. That's when I came up with this gem...

The winning poker player/investor is able to adjust their tactics and implement them without any difficulties. More importantly, a player needs the psychological capacity, mental strength, and discipline to adapt their implementation tactics and adjust to the patterns or the volatility of the other players/markets. Winning players are also able to adapt to situations beyond human control. That means minimizing tilt.

I taped a bit on Card Club's Lord Admiral podcast for episode 46 and episode 49.

I was invited to a Poker Stars VIP event in NYC that featured the last three WSOP champions in Greg Raymer, Joe Hachem, and Chris Moneymaker. Otis was there as well as Nolan Dalla and the lovely Isabelle Mercier. I finally got a double kiss from her. We drank fruity rum drinks out of plastic coconuts. Afterwards, Otis and I went barhopping and I puked in the middle of the street at one point.

Wil Wheaton hosted his first private tournament on Poker Stars and Derek made the final table.

Poker Stars gave me a nice fleece pullover for being the #1 referral during their Blogger Championship thing.

I put out a Best of Tao of Poker post where I listed some of my best posts all time. For someone who writes a lot, I have very few highlights. I should have more.

I returned to Las Vegas for a work assignment and Vegoose. I moved in with Grubby for two plus weeks. On my second day back, we met up with Bobby Bracelet for drinks and Mandalay Bay near the sports book. I went to the bathroom and there was a couple in the stall next to me having sex. That's when the Bathroom Fucking incident went down.

I'm pretty sure no one came. Not even me. Although I think I popped a half-a-wood during all of this.

A week later some guy would stop me in the middle of the Bellagio and ask me which bathroom did the fucking take place in.

I returned to the Bellagio to cover the WPT Doyle Brunson North American Classic. Minh Ly beat Dan Harrington heads up to win.

Day 1
Day 2
Day 3
Final table
Random Photos

I also saw Daniel Negreanu playing at the Bellagio for the first time in months. He just ended his contract with Wynn and returned to the "Big Game" in Bobby's Room.

I met Jaxia for the first time and we hung out for a few hours at Mandalay Bay shooting the shit for hours.

I played in the Online Poker Bloggers Championship on Poker Stars. I took 933rd place out of 1472.

One of my other favorite posts from the month was Hammers, Hilton Sisters, Dial-a-Shots, and other Post-Modern Poker Vernacular where I spoke about the origins of the Hammer and other nicknames.

I went bowling with Grubby and the Poker Prof and I lost a big prop bet.

The big news of the month was getting on the front page of Yahoo for a couple of hours. My 15 minutes of fame were quickly over.

My buddy The Joker came to town for Vegoose and we got inebriated and checked out a ton of our favorite bands including one helluva bender on Halloween to see Widespread Panic. He dressed up like a UPS driver. I was a doctor. I posted some recaps on the Tao of Pauly which also included plenty of pictures:

Day Before Vegoose
Vegoose Day 1
Vegoose Day 2

I also announced Saturdays with Dr. Pauly... a running series of four tournaments on Poker Stars with prizes going to the person who did the best in all four events.

October ended with a break even month. I was still way up for the year and I spent a lot of time back in Las Vegas card rooms once again.

*****


November

I usually took off previous Novembers to write novels. I'd have to shelf that idea due to a work assignment at Foxwoods. That was OK thought, I was too exhausted to write anyway. The few days I put into the Las Vegas book were average attempts at best. The only good thing about working at Foxwoods was living with my buddy Senor for the entire week just outside of Providence.

I made the final table at a Wil Wheaton tournament.

The Saturdays with Dr. Pauly tournaments were a huge success. Thanks to everyone who played. SirWaffle won the first one. The next week, event #2 was won by on_thg. Then the Luckbox struck... CJ won #3. And Joanne won the last tournament. Both Bobby Bracelet and on_thg tied for first place. They had to play a special heads-up tiebreaker, which was won by Bobby Bracelet. He renicknamed himself Bobby iPod for a while, but it never stuck. Yeah, Bob won the iPod and on_thg won a copy of The Big Lebowski. CJ came in third overall and won a phone call from Daddy on Christmas Day.

I dished out some strip club advice.

On the personal life front, Briana returned home from France and I went through a rough few days figuring out us and hating poker. I wrote a post called Circles and Poker about my poker burnout. I needed a quick attitude adjustment and going to Rhode Island and Foxwoods helped me get back on track.

I covered another WPT event, this time at Foxwoods Casino in Connecticut. Here are the daily live blogging updates:

Day 2
Day 3
Day 4
Final Table

I wrote about poker and porn funk during one of those Foxwoods events. I also met SirWaffle for the first time. We played NL together.

I appeared on one episode of Card Club's Lord Admiral radio podcast... episode #52 where I interviewed Heather from Poker Wire.

With a few weeks before the blogger get together in Vegas, I posted Potential Blogger Arrests. I also put together a short film called Bloggers in Vegas that was hosted by AlCantHang. I also refined my Surviving Las Vegas Tips post.

Spaceman was in town for a Jeopardy interview. We went drinking with the Rooster and played at The Blue Parrot. Spaceman had a rare experience and played cards in a NYC homegame. I walked away a winner, which would be one of the few times that would happen all month.

On Thanksgiving, I had a message of thanks to some special people in my life. Then over Turkey Day weekend, I blew almost $1K playing in different online tournaments. I cashed in only one and it was for a lousy $3.

On the last day of November, I left for Las Vegas. I planned on being there for a month returning on Christmas Eve. With the blogger tournament, a road trip to LA with Grubby, and a WPT Bellagio assignment, I had a busy month ahead of me. Sadly, my grandmother was hospitalized, fell into a coma, but came out of it for a while. I left NYC thinking that she was going to be OK. The last time I would see my grandmother alive was a few moments before I got on a plane at JFK bound for Sin City. If I knew it was going to be the last time I'd see her, I would have canceled my trip and stayed behind to spend two more days with her before she had a heart attack and died in her hospital bed.

By the end of November, I was hurting. My poker game was off. I hardly slept. My writing was sloppy. My passion for writing and working in the poker industry had disappeared. And I was within days of losing a family member. I began the month on a high note after one amazing Halloween bender in Las Vegas and I ended it under a very dark cloud.

*****


December

December of 2005 was one of the toughest months of my life. I questioned everything and when you are in those ambivalent moods, nothing seems right. My poker game went to shit. If I was good or just lucky, I was neither in December. I lost everywhere. The carnage was spread out all over Las Vegas casinos and on different online sites. I lost prop bets, wheel spins, craps, sports betting on hockey and football, horse races, and Pai Gow. The only thing I won during December was on Mr. Cashman slots.

I started the month in Las Vegas. I was technically the first blogger to arrive. Grubby and I played in a tournament at Sahara and I didn't do so hot. Grubby and I rented a car and drove to Los Angeles. We hung out at Grubette's house in Long Beach and crashed the LA blogger's home game called Murderer's Row. I hung out with the Full Tilter's and met Change100 for the first time. She ended up chopping the tournament with Kori. I conducted two hilarious interviews that night featuring Poker Geek, Franklin, and Joe Speaker, which were included in episode 54 of Lord Admiral's podcast. I was shitfaced drunk and Franklin had us all cracking up.

I had lunch with Shirley in Long Beach on the pier. We became good friends during the WSOP and I had not see her since. The lunch was bittersweet. Halfway through, my brother called to tell me that our grandmother had passed away. I was in the worst possible place because I'd have to drive back to Vegas then fly home to NYC for the wake and funeral.

I was crushed and Grubby suggested a trip to Hawaiian Gardens to play poker. Grubbette insisted that I would have a much better time if I spent a few hours at the tables. She was right. I sat down at a $100 buy-in table and a guy had $1500 sitting there. I wasn't about to leave and although he cracked my aces, I got some of his stack. People like to gambool at the poker tables in California. Mr. Drunk Guy put $350 into a pot preflop with 9-9 after I moved all in. He caught quads on me too. I still walked away a winner and one of the few winning days I'd have all month.

I returned home to NYC for the wake and funeral. It was a somber time and we luckily was able to fly back on Thursday with Derek just when the other bloggers were arriving. I posted a bunch of trip reports featuring audio interviews, pictures, and video. Here they are:

Day 1: Half-Baked Recap
Day 2: Half-Baked Recap
Random Pic Dump
Bloggers in Wonderland Part 1: Midnight Riders
Bloggers in Wonderland Part 2: The Five Boobs and Champion Glyphic
Bloggers in Wonderland Part 3: Cocaine in a Can, Baby!
Bloggers in Wonderland Part 4: Blue Monday
Daddy's Interview
Cocaine in a can, baby!
Jaxia Hiatt Interviews

I also taped an interview for Lord Admiral's Card Club podcast with Phil Gordon after he lost $200 to Mrs. Head playing Roshambo. It appears in episode #56.

I covered a WPT event at the Bellagio. I posted some random pictures and I live blogged the final table.

Change100 came back to Vegas to party and gamble. In the same night, I was recognized by a fan and was propositioned by a hooker in the Castle.

I came in 2nd in one of Wil Wheaton's tournament, losing to Marty after blowing a huge chiplead. I returned to NYC, but not before one wild night of poker. I left Las Vegas with back-to-back winning sessions.

I blogged my Christmas Wish and on Chirstmas Eve I played 3/6 on Full Tilt with Derek, Jen Harman, and Andy Bloch. Totally random too.

I posted my Gallery of Champions, photographs that I took of various winners during 2005 tournaments.

Thanks to my Top Referrals during December.

The Sweet 16:
1. Poker Prof's Las Vegas and Poker Blog
2. Iggy's Party Poker Blogs
3. G-Rob, Otis, & CJ's Up for Poker
4. Tao of Pauly
5. DoubleAs
6. Grubby's The Poker Grub
7. Shirley from Poker Babes
8. Jaxia's Steal the Blinds
9. Wil Wheaton
10. HDouble's The Cards Speak
11. Aaron Gleeman
12. Change100's Pot Committed
13. Derek's Poker in the Weeds
14. Wicked Chops Poker
15. Mean Gene
16. Joe Speaker's Obituarium

I ended December on a losing streak. I lost 30% of my bankroll in the previous eight weeks. Most of that was all of my fault, playing poorly at the tables and making bad decisions. I spent the last week of the year relaxing, avoiding business related things, and wrote for myself. I played a ton of online poker and got slaughtered. But at least I got to play with my friends again.

If there was one thing better than covering the 2005 WSOP, it was making new friendships and strengthening old ones. When I think of 2005, the people I met and consider my friends stick out the most. If you are one of those people, I'm grateful to have crossed paths with you. Our time together in 2005 was special and I'll never forget the fun times we shared orginal exeriences. I bounced all around the globe this year and I got to spend time with some of you in random places. It's not so much my experiences that make my life seem interesting... it's the people in my life who held define and inspire me. For that I will always be grateful.

It was an amazing year. Glad that you got to be a part of it. As Bob Dylan said it best, "Blame it on a simple twist of fate."

Thanks for reading.
posted by Pauly at 12/31/2005 04:20:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Tao of Poker: 2005 Year in Review Part 1

I have no idea where this post is going. I know it's over 5,000 words. I'm just going to go through my archives and mention the highlights and lowlights of 2005. By far this past twelve months have been the most special and influential on my life and on my blogs. Poker took me on a lot of side trips both socially and work related. I tossed around chips in places I never thought I'd ever play cards. Those were some of my favorite moments.

Well anyway, sit back and enjoy a recap of the last twelve months. Thanks for sharing the wild ride with me. Enjoy Part 1 of my review of 2005 on my poker blog which focuses on Jan. through June of this year. I started out in NYC and did a ton of traveling. I ended up in Las Vegas with stops in Foxwoods, Rhode Island, Hilljack Indiana, Cincinnati, and Kentucky playing poker along the way.


January

I changed the template from the older version into what you see here. Right now, I'm contemplating another facelift, but it's never been about how my site looks. So I might put that on hold. I concentrate all my efforts into original content. That's what matters to me the most. I started 2005 knowing that my poker blog got far more traffic than any of my other blogs combined. With that understanding of having a dedicated audience, I pushed myself to writer a little bit better here than I had in the past. I just didn't want to entertain them, I also wanted to show how good of a writer I was on a daily basis.

My Pauly's Pub football pool completed in the first week of 2005 and two of my college buddies Brad & Jerry finished one and two. Blue Parrot regular Coach took third and Matt's Austin Drunks made the money in 4th. Coach even included an installment of Coach's Corner in January.

On a personal note, I had been going through a period where I was very sick and caught the flu. My immune system was down and I kept having long intense discussion with Briana about our future. She wanted me to move in since I didn't have a place to live and was technically homeless. I was reluctant and knew I had to keep the focus on my writing. I finally got offered work by a few online sites such as Poker Magazine and Professional Poker. I wrote on spec for the first few assignments and my competent work during a temporary trial basis ended up getting me steady work and a raise for the remainder of the year. I wrote weekly articles over at Poker Magazine and contributed weekly player profiles and bi-monthly columns to Professional Poker.

I played at the Blue Parrot and had my first games at the TowneHouse hosted by Lady Falcon and her pink chips. I continued to play in random clubs over the city and continued to keep all of that off of my blogs. I also headed up to Foxwoods to play in a tournament and visit my buddy Senor in Rhode Island.

I finally finished up my December 2004 Las Vegas trip reports with Chapters 7, 8, 9, & 10. The last chapter is my favorite bit of writing from those epic reports.

I continued with more Reader Mail featuring Timmy. He hasn't emailed me in months and I'm worried about him.

I was up playing poker online and live in Jan. 2005 and started the year on a winning note.

*****


February

I dished out some blogging advice to new bloggers.

In a blogger's tournament on Poker Stars, I cracked both K-K and A-A with The Hammer. 787Style had A-A and Charlie Tuttle had K-K. That began a short but unique friendship that I'd have with Charlie Tuttle. He even sent me a Nashville Predator's hockey puck as a bounty for busting him. Make sure you clcik on the link and see the photo including a note from Charlie himself on Tunica stationary!! I still have both the puck and the letter today. I'm never letting those go.

I ended up finishing 62nd in that tournament which on_thg ended up winning. I posted a write up.

I played in a few NYC homegames including the Townehouse again and at the Blue Parrot, where we held the first ever NYC poker bloggers NL tournament took place. Julie and Lady Falcon chopped and Derek took third. He busted me too.

I got a priest to designate 2-7 at St. Grubby's Day. I hear he's going to be having a private tournament this year. Stay tuned to the Poker Grub for more details.

I finally finished the third draft of my fifth novel Gumbo, just in time to celebrate Valentine's Day where Briana tried to get me to move in with her once again.

Of course, more reader mail featuring Timmy.

In mid-February, I started to get burnt out on blogging and I took a hiatus. That hiatus was interrupted by the suicide of one of my favorite writers Hunter S. Thompson. I responded with a post called RIP Hunter.

The month did not end without a trip. I flew down to Miami to spend time with my buddy Jerry and his wife. I headed to Hard Rock Seminole Casino and played some poker. I posted Part I and Part II of my Miami poker trip reports.

I ended February down about $600 for the entire year. I had a bad run playing tournaments and got killed playing NL ring tables on Party Poker. After playing solid for hours straight, I was making too many bad decisions and those were costing me my entire stack. When I came back from Miami, I decided that I needed to quickly address the leaks in my game. For all of 2004, I lived off of whatever I made playing cards due to limited freelance opportunities. I padded my bankroll on the NL tables on Party Poker and lived off of whatever I took away from homegames, underground clubs, SNGs, and tournaments. The SNG gods were frequently kicking me in the junk after a horrible run at the $30 and $50 SNGs. I made the decision to stop playing SNGs and online tournaments. I made the shift to limit instead of NL to change the pace and get me back to the fundamentals of poker. It ended up being the best decision I made all year.

*****


March

Iggy and HDouble launched Poker Tracker Guide. Then, CJ announced the blogger tournament in Las Vegas at the Aladdin in June.

Hank987 made a final table at one of the Foxwoods tournaments. He wrote up a guest post on his amazing run.

I had a four-day binge of blogger tables on different sites.

Of course, everyone's favorite... more reader mail including my favorite installment... Timmy's Principal Problems, Popularity, Vegas Poker Rooms, and Time Management.

My post of the month had to be February Doldrums where I analyzed my play and tried to figure out why I was playing. I mentioned three basic things that I needed to do to stop the bleeding.

1. Identify my most common mistakes and flaws.
2. Understand why they are harming my play.
3. Correct these flaws and minimize future mistakes.

I had a six day online poker binge that featured a few blogger tables.

I started a routine. I worked early in the mornings then fire up Party Poker to grind it out at $3/$6. I did work stuff in the afternoons and early evenings or spent time with Briana. Late nights I was working off a bonus on Full Tilt. That seemed to get me back on track and I discovered that the tables on FT were incredibly soft.

Iggy hosted a HORSE tournament on Full Tilt which was won by Royal. I posted a recap. Derek had a impressive showing a bubbled out of the final table.

I played in a home game in NYC at the TowneHouse.

I also had a few half-baked ideas on the Luck of the Irish.

I had an interesting post where I explained how I improved my poker game and there's a random picture of Tara Reid and a monkey.

I headed out to Las Vegas with my buddy Senor for March Madness. I broke that trip report into 5 parts; Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 4, Day 5. I also posted some great pics of my March Madness Las Vegas trip.

Gamecock won his first ever blogger tournament on Poker Stars. Lucky mofo! posted a recap called Running with Game Cocks: Another WPBT Adventure.

I ended March on a huge winning streak. The Vegas trip combined with the $3/6 tables on Full Tilt really got playing with more confidence. My game was getting tighter and it felt good to finally win again and book a monthly win. Plus I also had a conversation with the Poker Prof that would end up changing my life.

*****


April

I started off the month with a major announcement where I was hired by the Poker Prof to write for Las Vegas and Poker Blog and for Poker Player Newspaper. I would be moving to Las Vegas to cover the WSOP. I would be the biggest break I ever had as a writer and I waited almost two weeks to blog about it. I knew it was going to be the experience of a lifetime and I was excited to spend time with Grubby, the Poker Prof, Flipchip, and Otis. That set the tone for April as I made preperations to head out to Las Vegas. That entailed picking up as many freelance assignments as possible over the next two months.

I watched Phil Ivey win a $22K pot on Full Tilt.

I posted my first installment of Existentialist Conversations with Strippers which I'm happy to say will be included in my Las Vegas book. Later in the month I posted part two.

Derek won my March Madness pool.

I played a few home games in NYC including the Blue Parrot. We also played Razz one night which drove me crazy!

There were more installments of Reader Mail called The Other Tao Guy, Summer Books, Empire's Reload, Ad Space, and Timmy's Boner and also... Full Fish with Royal, Concerned Girlfriends, Sopranos Pool, and Card Club Archives.

One of the best posts from the month of April had to be The Zoo Review where I talked about my online play.

I also posted another installment of Coach's Corner where he recaped his run to the final table in a Poker Stars MTT.

I taped my first ever episode of the Lord Admiral Card Club featuring Cinci Sean and Brent Stacks. Thus began the series of events that would make me a huge cult figure in Canada. I also taped a second episode and a third.

Harrington on Hold'em was my Book of the Month.

A couple of my articles were published on various websites.

Bad Blood ran a writing contest which I entered and penned something called Bankroll Adrift.

Iggy set up the first bloggers WSOP staellite into a $1500 NL event. Before the tournament, he was just known as Bob from one2many. After his victory, Derek dubbed him his current moniker... Bobby Bracelet. Yes, Bobby Bracelet won the first ever WSOP Satellite and picked up a seat! I posted a recap.

*****


May

Briana left NYC and went to Paris on holiday for a few weeks. She ended up moving to France and stayed there for over six months. The last few days she was in NYC were some of my favorite. We weren't play mind games anymore, you know those fcuked up games that couples and potential couples play at times. We took long walks around the city and carried on some stellar conversations that I wish I recorded. We lived in the moment while never once thinking about the future. It seemed that we always got along best when we didn't define our relationship. We're both independent people and that's why it worked that way for as long as it did.

Alas, we were both entering new cycles in our lives. She had to desperately figure out some sort of direction in her life, whereas I knew exactly when I wanted to do. I was given a chance of a lifetime to cover the WSOP. We both knew I had to kick ass in Vegas without any distractions. Briana made the biggest sacrifice by stepping aside and letting me focus on writing. Goodbyes are always tough and I'd be lying if I said it was easy to part ways. On those late and long and depressing nights during the upcoming months, I'd often question if I made the right decision by not asking Briana to come to Vegas with me or not accepting the WSOP assignment at all and moving to Europe with her to work on one of several novels or screenplays that I had festering inside the hallways of my mind. Folding a monster hand is never easy.

The month started off with the second blogger WSOP satellite on Poker Stars. Russ Fox ended up winning a seat. Here's a sample of some of the recap:

Seat 8: Gracie... Despite persistent rumors, the gal from Florida is not painfully dull. And most importantly, she is not a lesbian (but she does play one on the internet). She admits on her blog that she's never done crack and does not like spiders. She's held her own in the last event after a 13th place finish. She is looking to making her first final table.

Seat 9: JoeSpeaker... The best-dressed blogger on the WPBT looked dapper once again according to the latest report from the Queer Eye Guys. His odds to win this event increased dramatically after his amazing rush to the final table last week. He's a regular at several casinos in Southern California and he's not gay... not that there's anything wrong with that.

I continued my series of Existentialst Conversations with Strippers with a third installment.

I appeared on the Lord Admiral Podcast once again for Episode 24 and Episode 26 and Episode 28.

I had an article published on Fox Sports called The Next Champion. It's currently no longer on their site but it also appeared in Poker Player Newspaper which has it archived.


Thanks Iggy! Click to enlarge.
I took a trip to the Midwest for a three day three state bender with Daddy and Iggy. I flew into Indiana and hung out with Daddy in Hilljack Country. We got trashed, played golf, and I investigated the donkey fucker phenomenon. I also played some cards (with a guy with four teeth) and I also puked in Daddy's driveway. The next day, Daddy and I drove to Cincinnati and hung out with Iggy and his crew. We partied in Kentucky with my friend Lori and saw a baseball game and a Trey Anastasio Band concert in Cincinnati. I also played cornhole with Daddy for the first time, while Lori watched and drank dunkels of German beer. On the third day the partying and poker continued. Iggy rented out a penthouse suite and held his home game there. I met his entire crew and a few other bloggers like UWannaBet and Jeff stopped by. It was a complete blast and Iggy and I drank and talked until sunrise. That trip was one of my most memorable in years and I'll never forget what Daddy said after I puked in his car... "Dr. Pauly christened my sled!"

In the third bloggers WSOP satellite held on Noble Poker, Wes aka Big Pirate won his seat into the $1500 WSOP event. He held off a final table that included The Fat Guy, Spaceman, and Bad Blood. Argggggggggggggggggggggh!

Joe Speaker won the fourth blogger's WSOP satellite on Poker Stars. He beat out a final table that included Poker Prof, Spaceman, Byron, on_thg, and GMoney.

I returned with more read mail. This batch included topics such as Camp, Books, Donkey Fuckers, Time, and Elisha Cuthbert.

I also penned the first version of Top 10 Tips on Surviving Las Vegas for newbies. Here's the quick list:

Pauly's Top 10 Tips on Surviving Vegas:
1. Cut back on sleep immediately.
2. Sip, don't chug.
3. Water is your friend.
4. Bring a cell phone charger.
5. Take pictures.
6. Ask before you post pictures on the internet.
7. Speak your mind and stay in the moment.
8. Table image is a factor in real life.
9. Don't be Gigli.
10. Never underestimate the importance of a $20 tip.

I also posted a second part to this called More Vegas Tips.

Lady Falcon threw me a Bon Voyage Party the weekend before I moved to Las Vegas. This BBQ at the TowneHouse included a tournament and cash game. It featured some of your favorite NYC bloggers including my brother, F Train, Ugarte, Joaquin, and Jordan.

Ferrari and the Blue Parrot sent me off in style with a final NYC home game. It featured:

The Players:
Seat 1: Toby... she's a famous writer and the author of The Bad Ass Girl's Guide To Poker. She even wore a cool pink shirt sporting the logo of her book, which I forgot to photograph. I wanted to see her reaction when I said, "Will you let me take a picture of your chest?"

Seat 2: Derek... the Jim Belushi of poker bloggers is looking to wipe out his losses at (Lady Falcon's) Bon Voyage Bash last Saturday with a nice win at the Blue Parrot in his last live games before he heads off to Vegas. Derek had Coach convinced that he could read his hole cards with his best Karnac impression.

Seat 3: Julie... she was Coach's last minute replacement at the WPBT Holiday Classic at Sam's Town last December. She took advantage of that opportunity and not only did she make the final table but she also came in third place. She knocked Dr. Pauly out in the bubble (6th place) at Sam's Town and he's been looking to exact revenge on her ever since. And she also chopped the NYC Poker Bloggers tournament with Toni.

Seat 4: Ferrari... the proprietor of the Blue Parrot was swamped with work and still managed to pull off a Farewell game. He had a few tricks of his sleeve which he tried to pull off later in the game. And yes, he saw Star Wars only once and did not get dressed up like a Jedi according to rumors I heard over at Rick's Cafe.

Seat 5: Marie... she adds a tinge of class and grace to the table whenever she appears at Blue Parrot games. I think it's the British accent, or perhaps it's the Red Stripe she always brings me!

Seat 6: Coach... the Dan Harrington of the Blue Parrot was stumping everyone with his extensive knowledge of 1980s TV trivia. We should all pool our money and back Coach in a side trivia cash game against that Ken James dude from Jeopardy. Coach would crush him.

Seat 7: F Train... he's been on the steroids watch list by the WPBT officials since his first appearance on the tour. He will not confirm, nor deny rumors that he used both the Clear and the Cream during his short stint trying to beat the $15/$30 tables on Party Poker. Then there's the scandal that the San Francisco Examiner had leaked about the incident where F Train was caught buying kangaroo urine at a gas station in Malibu, in order to pass it off at as his own if he won the WSoP Razz satellite on Full Tilt.

Seat 8: Pauly... your hero. He's sporting a clean cut look with a haircut and a shave. He's been playing a lot of poker during his series of good-bye/bon voyage/farewell/get the fuck out of town games. It's been his second such event in three days.

I left NYC down just $100 or so before I moved to Las Vegas. I was still up for the year. I cashed out nearly all of my online bankroll (less a few hundred on Party Poker) and headed to Las Vegas with a almost $3K in cash. By the time I left Vegas almost three months later I'd almost than triple my roll. I remember the day before I left New York, I was hanging out all over the city taking random photographs. I had a feeling my upcoming trip was about to change both me and this blog. I had no idea just how crazy and how big the 2005 WSOP would be. I thought I was leaving prepared. Not one bit.

*****

June

Derek and I headed to Vegas for the second ever bloggers event. We shared a suite at the Plaza with AlCantHang and his lovely wife Eva. I posted some random updates and pictures. We did a lot of drinking and a lot of partying and played a ton of random poker including late night SNGs in the suite while Drizz played Full Tilt and shouted obscenities at my laptop.

I held back just a little because I knew I had to work the WSOP for six straight weeks. I didn't stay up as late as I would have liked and missed out on a lot of hijinks. I got to meet the Fat Guy and Chris Halverson for the first time and that made the trip for me. Bill Rini won the blogger's tournament at the Aladdin. He beat CJ heads up. The Poker Geek dropped the Hammer on the first hand of the tournament at my table. I sat next to Tanya and we became friends. I also cracked Halverson's K-K with my Big Slick. Chad busted me when my 10-10 lost to his 9-9. AlCantHang hosted a party at La Salsa and we also headed to the Rio to sweat the bloggers who won seats into the WSOP $1500 NL event which included Joe Speaker, Russ Fox, Wes, and Bobby Bracelet.

Flipchip took me over to the Redneck Riviera where I was going to be living. It looked nice on the outside, but the residents would end up becoming the biggest story of my stint in Las Vegas. They became so much more popular than the WSOP that I even considered naming my book The Redneck Riviera.

I headed to the Rio for my first day of work with Flipchip and he showed me the ropes. I set up my laptop in media row and introduced myself to a small group of people who ended up becoming my friends. Otis wasn't supposed to arrive for a few weeks and I knew almost nobody. I met Amy Calistri who was a fan of my blog and she introdcued me to Lou Krieger. I was so nervous that I kept calling him "Sir." Lou would end up becoming a loyal reader of the Tao and ended up recomending me for a few freelance assignments. I also met BJ from CardPlayer and Jen & Heather from Poker Wire. We'd end up sitting in media row everyday for six weeks together while Andy Bloch stopped by a lot. I also finally met the infamous Jay Greenspan and Nolan Dalla. Not to mention Dan from Pokerati who ended becoming one of my close buddies during the WSOP. And of course Foiled Coup was around snapping photos of hot chicks like Liz Lieu and hitting on all the skanky trade show girls that worked various booths in the hallways when he wasn't eating cheese and crackers with me in the Full Tilt hospitality suite. I also met Jen Leo, John & Earl from Poker News along with Otis' crew at Poker Stars, Brits like Mad and Howard. I could never forget meeting the Irish guys Lucky Blind Lacey and Tom Murphy. Those dudes could drink.

Flipchip ended up taking the best 2005 WSOP photos around. Take a peek.

I ended up posting my first ever live blog from the WSOP. The rest ws history. I had no idea what I was going to do. I was getting paid to write daily recaps for the Poker Prof's blog at Las Vegas and Poker along with recaps for Poker Player Newspaper and Fox Sports. The live blogging started out of a way for me to take notes on the daily events as they happened. The Poker Prof encouraged me to go ahead and do it. The first post had origins of the now infamous Last 5 Pros I Took a Piss Next To when I spotted Scotty Nguyen in the bathroom fixing his hair.

I also blogged my first final table, the event that E-Fro ended up winning, becoming the younest ever bracelet winner. I also ended up getting in the background shots of ESPN's taping of the final table.

I also taped weekly spots with Sean for Card Club's Lord Admiral podcast. I did episode 29, episode 30, episode 31, and episode 32.

I witnessed bracelet wins by Erik Seidel, TJ Cloutier, Josh Arieh, Mark Seif (twice), Barry Greenstien, Todd Brunson, Johnny Fuckin' Chan, Phil Ivey, and Doyle Brunson. Here are the live blogged final tables:

Event #5 Omaha Hi/Lo
Event #6 NL Shorthanded
Event #7 $1K NL w/ Rebuys and Event #8 $1500 Seven-card Stud
Event #9 $2K NL
Event #11 PL Hold'em
Event #12 PLO w/ Rebuys
Event #13 $5K NL
Event #15 Limit Shootout
Event #16 NL Shootout
Event #17 Limit Hold'em
Event #19 PLO
Event #21 Omaha 8
Event #22 $1500 NL
Event #23 $5K Seven-card Stud
Event #25 PL Hold'em
Event #26 Ladies NL
Event #27 PLO w/ Rebuys
Event #28 $5K Limit
Event #31 $5K Short-handed

The craziest single moment at the WSOP in June was the night Johnny Fuckin Chan won his 10th bracelet. There were 2 final tables and the Ladies Event going on. Four tourneys in all and I covered every single one. That was the hardest night at the WSOP and most memorable. I sat in the front row and watched Chan take down the Unabomber heads up to win bracelet #10. That was like being in Yankee Stadium the day Roger Maris hit #61. The very next night, Jen Tilly won the ladies event. My story on Fox Sports got picked up by a ton of media outlets. A few days later Doyle Brunson won his 10th bracelet after he beat out his buddy Minh Ly.

I also played in my first ever WSOP event. I sold pieces of myself on the Tao and sold out quickly! Thanks to everyone who bought shares including: Maudie, Al CantHang, Tanya, Derek, Briana, Otis, Senor, Iggy, Joaquin, Human Head, Obie, Joe Speaker, Wil, Spaceman, Sean & Brent from Lord Admiral Radio, Chad, Halverson, Gracie, April H., and Poker Prof & Flipchip. They all would have gotten a cut of my winnings if I made the money.

Spaceman called me to tell me one night that Charlie Tuttle was very ill and in the hospital. His favorite player was Marcel Luske and he wanted to know if we could get Marcel to call Charlie or something. Marcel did so and sung to Charlie in a ten minute phonecall. What Marcel started ended up becoming the backstory to the next couple of days as different pros rallied behind Charlie. Felicia helped get plenty of pros involved and Max Pescatori sent Charlie a care package along with other pros like John Juanda and Barry Greenstien who called Charlie.

Barry Greenstien went out and won a WSOP event. He dedicated it to Charlie in a tearful brief speech after he won. I wrote it up for Poker Player. Afterwards I broke down and cried in the hallway with Otis doing his best to console me. Charlie died the day after he heard the news. That was the same day I was supposed to play in my WSOP event #22. The last thing I wanted to do was play poker. But I did anyway and I was busted on a bad beat when A-K lost to A-10.

My thougths drifted mostly to Charlie's family and to Spaceman and Mrs. Spaceman and all of their friends. Charlie Tuttle touched so many lives at the WSOP. Charlie and his death somehow became a connection and bridged a friendship between Barry Greenstien and myself. The experience was too painful to talk about and we've only discussed it once since. We both feel blessed that being a part of Charlie's last days was a sacred reminder that life is short and precious and that you really need to live each day to the fullest.

I was tired, exhausted, and drained by the end of June. But the spirit of Charlie inspired me the remainder of the WSOP. He got me through some tough days and nights.

I got to interview Clonie Gowen and ask her what she had on her iPod. I also asked Phil Hellmuth what was on his iPod as well.

I wrote about one awful day at the Redneck Riveria.

CJ was cool and hosted a few clips of Otis and me from the WSOP.

The month ended with me in the middle of the Charlie Tuttle story and getting to play in my first ever WSOP event. Within a few weeks I went from a nobody at the WSOP to a somebody. The traffic began to pick up on my blog and I was getting noticed by fans and readers for the first time. I befriended more media reps and pros and the ESPN crew. By the fourth week I knew everyone working at the Rio convention area. Flipchip and I spent 12-16 hours there a day sometimes more, while the Poker Prof was hidden away in a bunker in a secret location in the Nevada desert doing computer geek stuff. I'd get only an hour off every day and that's when Otis and I would hit the Hooker Bar and drink non-stop while playing video poker. The rest of the time I was writing or trying to sleep through all the craziness at the Redneck Riveria.

I had very little time to play poker aside from a satellite and the WSOP event. I played several $100 MTTs on Party Poker to prep for the WSOP. The only poker I played was online via dial up at the Reneck Riveria on nights that I couldn't sleep.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of the Year in Review.
posted by Pauly at 12/31/2005 04:20:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Bullshit! Morality Police 1, Pauly 0

Check out this load of crap of an email I got. I got busted my the fuckin' morality police. Too bad Poker Stars won't tell me the name of the gutless fink of a morality freak that complained about me. It's OK though. Thanks to Poker Tracker I've sifted through the hand histories. Based on the time of the infraction, I can narrow down the suspects to a few players. Since I was also playing with bloggers last night around Midnight (Heather, Change100, Byron, and Jaxia), the field of culprits gets even smaller. I have my eye on four people in particular. It has to be one of you four, unless Stars is lying to me and no one complained.

Hello DrPauly,

We have received a complaint regarding some things you said in chat
at our tables. I have reviewed the chat log and did find some of your
comments to be inappropriate.

Our goal at PokerStars is to be a fun place to play, where everyone
can feel comfortable. Foul language and abuse of other players takes
away from everyone's enjoyment, and therefore cannot be permitted.

We must ask you to refrain from using this type of language in the
future, or we will be forced to remove your chat privileges.

Please note that you may not be the only one receiving a message such
as this. When we receive a chat complaint, we review the entire chat
of all players at the table. Any other offenders at the table were
also warned or revoked as appropriate to our policies.


Regards,

PokerStars Support Team

-----

DrPauly: fuuck 5 12/29/2005 9:52:59 PM
DrPauly: id blow him 5 12/29/2005 11:56:41 PM
DrPauly: im a whore 5 12/29/2005 11:59:33 PM
DrPauly: whoore 5 12/29/2005 11:59:36 PM
DrPauly: i can say asscock but not whore 5 12/29/2005 11:59:44 PM

It shocks me that some gutless loser would rat me out for using the word "asscock." Personally, I find that those junk-kicking river suckouts to be far more offensive than anything I can muster up in the chat.

I'm pretty pissed off about all of this. I have fans, readers, and friends coming up to me all the time when I'm at the tables (even when I'm hiding myself... they still find me) and I take the time to talk to them in the chat even if I'm multi-tabling and in the middle of a hand. Poker Stars doesn't pay me to do that, but I do take time out to chat and answer questions because it's the right thing to do. Then I made a few inside jokes with my friends and I get flagged by some assclown who has nothing else better to do than write emails to Poker Stars support. None of the comments were ever directed at anyone except myself. It was a victimless crime.

"I am writing to you to complain about one of your players. DrPauly is evil because he uses profanity in the chat. I suspect that he also sleeps with lesbians and has unprotected sex. He also uses psychotropic drugs and other illgeal narcotics while he plays. He is the devil hiding behind his internet celebritiness. We must cleanse God's kingdom of evil doers like DrPauly. By the way, I have a small penis and live in my mother's basement in a red state."

What kind of fuckin' cocksuckin' cuntass mother of a cheese eating surrender monkey goddamed world do we live in when someone's job out there is to cut and paste how many times I used the word "assscock" in a chat over five hours?? I logged into Poker Stars for well over 20 hours this past week and that's the worst that they could find. They don't bust the idiot who constantly comes to my table groveling for money but the one friggin' time that I say I want to suck Russell Crowe's dick I get in trouble.

Satire. Sarcasm. Comedy. Tao.

We live in America, don't we? When I finally discover who the fucktard was that ratted me out, I'm gonna transfer him $250 so he/she can go out and buy a fuckin' clue.

Editor's Note: For the record, I am not upset with Poker Stars, although I must say this email disappointed me. I understand that they have rules in place and must follow protocol. What I am pissed off at is some asshole out there has too much free time on their hands and attempted to get me in trouble when they simply could have asked me to stop using offensive language in the chat. That passive-aggressive behavior is what set me off into this rant.

P.S. I love the hypocrisy of all of this. I can bend the legality of online gaming laws in my state and my country and depending on who you are talking to... I'm breaking the law. I willingly know what I am doing may or may not be illegal, yet I spend my money on an offshore poker site anyway. They welcome all of us outlaws as long as you don't say asscock, cunt, shit, fuck, bitch, whore, dick, pussy, vagina, fudgepacker, shitstain, fucktard, penisbreath, cumslinger, cockchugger, or donkeyfucker.
posted by Pauly at 12/30/2005 05:26:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Gallery of Champions

I was fortunate to witness plenty of amazing moments in the world of touranment poker including the 2005 WSOP, a few WPT events, two WPBT tournies, and a EPT event in Spain. The following pictures were captured by yours truly moments after these champions won their event. My favorite is Johnny Chan winner's photo. They all have the distinction of going up in my Gallery of Champions. You can click on the individual photos to get an enlarged view. Enjoy.


Bill Rini (right)
2005 WPBT June Classic Champion


Erik Seidel
2005 WSOP $2K NL Champion


Josh Arieh
2005 WSOP $2K PLO Champion


TJ Cloutier
2005 WSOP $5K NL Champion


Isaac Glazan
2005 WSOP $2,500 Shorthanded NL Champion


"The Mighty" Quinn Do
2005 WSOP $2,500 Limit champion


Bary Greenstien
2005 WSOP $1,500 PLO Champion


Mark Seif: Two time bracelet winner
2005 WSOP $1,500 Limit Shootout Champion
2005 WSOP $1,500 NL CHampion


Phil Ivey
2005 WSOP $5K PLO champion


Johnny Fuckin' Chan wins bracelet #10
2005 WSOP $2,500 Pot-Limit Hold'em Champion


Todd Brunson
2005 WSOP $2,500 Omaha 8 Champion


Doyle Brunson wins #10
2005 WSOP $5K NL Shorthanded Champion


Jen Tilly
2005 WSOP Ladies Champion


Paul McKinney
2005 WSOP Senior's Champion


Joe Hachem
2005 WSOP $10K NL main event Champion


Andy Bloch
Ultimate Poker Challenge main event Champion


Wes aka Big Pirate & Pauly
2005 Brad-o-Ween Open Co-Champions


Jan Boubli
2005 EPT Barcelona Open Champion


Al Aldebilli
2005 WPT Borgata Open Champion


StB
2005 Good & Plenty Open Champion


Minh Ly
2005 WPT Bellagio Festa al Lago Champion


NIck Schulman
2005 WPT Foxwoods Champion


Studio Glyphic
2005 WPBT Holiday Classic Champion


Rhene Pedersen
2005 WPT Bellagio Five Diamond Classic Champion


Bobby Bracelet
2005 Saturdays with Dr. Pauly Champion
posted by Pauly at 12/29/2005 12:03:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Tourney and PLO Adventures

There's a tournamet tonight hosted by Trip Jax and Jordan. Here are the details:

What: Donkeys Always Draw Invitational (check under private tourney tab)
When: Wed at 9pm EST
Where: Poker Stars
Password: blogsaregay

It'll be a game time decision for me. But you should play.

******

Yesterday I played PLO on Poker Stars with a bunch of bloggers, including TrumpJosh who broke his PLO cherry. I played with Alan and I hit a straight flush on him and took his entre stack...


Click to enlarge
Update 10:13pm... Got busted when my K-K lost to A-K. Finished 49/60.

10:28pm... Brandon Schaefer sat down at my $3/6 table along with Gracie. Brandon was also my PLO table, which included Heather, Change100, Drizz, Alan, Double As, On_thg, Gracie, Sox Lover and Yosoyveneno.

12:20am... Congrats to Change100. She beat JoeSpeaker heads up. She's on a rush. Took 3rd in Wil's event last night, and first fuckin' place tonight. Plus she made the money in the $10K Guaranteed on Full Tilt. Fear the junkgrabber. All I have to say is that... since the moment Change100 confimed my junk, we've both been on a winning streak. Coincidence?
posted by Pauly at 12/28/2005 05:18:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Bloggers in Wonderland Part 4: Blue Monday

"Blogs are gay." - Daddy

Monday afternoon.

At this point most of the bloggers were on their way home or already home. Some had the flu and others were flooded with memories that they'll have forever. I had some good times this past event. It's hard for me to say which one of the three was the best or where I had the most fun. Each one was unique but this past one was a lot of fun for me. I looked it as a perfect chance for a celebration of one long year in poker with some of my best friends. These events are what you make out of it. I set out to have fun and I did.

I woke up Derek. It was 2pm. He said he was drinking until 11:30am with the Heads and StB. He got up and showered before we headed to the Italian place for lunch with Jaxia.

We told the Spacemans and Byron to meet us there. It turned out that Byron won the Sahara 11am tourney. He tried to call me that morning, but my phone was turned off. I dunno if I could had made it if I tried. We were up until 7am playing cards and I was spent after four straight nights of hardcore partying. Anyway, Byron was the dude of the hour and became the third blogger to win a Las Vegas tournament within 24 hours. CJ was first at the MGM on Sunday night, followed by F Train and then Byron at the Sahara. This is the same tourney that Grubby and I have played in almost 20 times combined and neither of us has made it past the final two tables and not one cash. It's a tough tourney. Byron was excited. He had plans to use some of his winnings for gifts.

Anyway, the food at the Italian place was awful. The meatball parm was a big mistake. Jaxia barely ate her pizza. She order jalopenos on one then took off all the peppers.

"I like the juice," she explained.

I bet Derek $1 he couldn't eat all the jalopenos Jaxia scraped off. He looked at me like I was a moron and finished the rest of his bad lunch.

At least the iced tea was good.

We retreated to the poker room to play until Jaxia's flight. I sat at the same $4/8 table with Derek, Alan, Bobby Bracelet, Jaxia, and Spaceman. One dude was a dick to Spaceman, which he spoke about in a story. Shit, even Iggy eventually woke up and sat down to play. A few hours earlier he was nearly escorted out of the third floor poker room by security. That seemed a lifetime ago. April was on her way out to the airport and she gave Jaxia all of her tickets. During Monday Night Football, the poker room does a drawing at the end of each quarter and whenever someone scores. You can win a bunch of prizes. You earn tickets by getting full houses and flushes and stuff like that.

Byron went shopping and when he came back he got me and Derek a funny lighter that was shaped as a pig. It was hilarious and I had to leave it at Grubby's apartment because the fucktards at homeland security have a hard on for items shaped like pigs. It's on the new list of banned items next to Dan Brown novels and pencil sharpeners.

Byron sat down as did Mrs. Spaceman. She was at Travis' table. Travis wanted to go get some food at the burger joint, which wasn't too bad. It's next to the sports book. Anyway, he gave me his tickets to watch for him.

"If I win, make sure you get the robe."

I was in the middle of a hand.

"A what?"

"A robe," he repeated.

"What the fuck do you want a robe for?" I snapped while I folded my cards.

"So I can wear it at home when I'm playing online poker. It's cold in Canada, ya know."

I laughed. A robe it is. You had a choice of t-shirts, hats, magazines, and a robe if your ticket got called. Travis wanted the robe.

He came back from dinner and although they called two numbers, none of them were his. Jaxia and I kept getting so close. We'd be off by one number everytime. An hour later, somewhere around the third quarter, the poker room manager called a number.

"I win!" shouted a guy in a Canadian accent.

I looked up and saw Travis standing up. He walked right over to the table and picked up his prize. Behold... the robe.

It's awesome when good things happen to good people. Travis wanted the robe and he got the fuckin' thing. He even wore it for an orbit. That's awesome. One of the highlights of my weekend.

I don't recall too much about the poker that night aside from the fact that Jaxia built up a nice stack and one older guy at the far end was killing the table. Everytime he and I were in a hand together, I'd shout out, "Be careful of the debonair gentleman in the second seat."

It was a fun table except from one local in a fishing hat who had a two week beard and coke-bottled glasses. He called everything to the river. I wanted to shoot him for cracking my aces. At the Excalibur you get to spin the wheel. At the Imperial Palace, you get kicked in the junk and have to take it like a man, unless they have cookies out. Then you get to have a stale cookie while you massaged your swollen testicles.

Getting kicked in the junk by a guy who can't see his flush on the board is insulting. If he didn't keep diggin back into his pocket to rebuy, I'd be pretty pissed. As is, he lost all the money he won. At least Travis won the robe.

Jaxia had a late night flight to catch, so we ended the game. We said our tearful good-byes. As it turned out her flight was an hour plus delayed something she found out when she got to the airport. She never bothered to call and that cost her a good hour of playing cards with Alan, Derek, Iggy, and myself.

Derek, Iggy, Mr. & Mrs. Spaceman and I decided on dinner after a lengthy deliberation. We couldn't figure out where to go and ended up at Outback. We were stuffed by the time the main course came. I love bloomin' onions. Iggy and I got the same filet with bleu cheese melted on top. Well I got mine melted. Iggy pussed out and got it on the side. We had a ton of fun at dinner and reflected on the weekend. The highlights. The lowlights. The rumors. The Daddy quotes. Everything.

I went to bed rather early. It was only 3am and I had to be at the Bellagio for work by noon the next day. I already fucked up and skipped the first day of the Five Diamond Classic. I thought it started a day later. I lost a day in there during my four day bender. Oh well. I'd miss the first day of any tournament to hang out with some of the finest people I know.

I'm sure I'll have an after-post. But for now, I'd like to thank everyone I met for being cool. I had an amazing time and got to meet a ton of new people. Everyone had kind things to say about my grandmother's death and it felt good to be around a group of caring people at a tough point in my life.

I also have to thank the Poker Prof for all his behind the scenes work. Special thanks goes out to Bill Rini for organizing the entire thing. It's thankless work and he did a tremendous job. Also thanks to the Imperial Palace and their entire poker staff for their hospitality. Thanks to Flipchip for taking photos during the tournament. Along with the MGM for putting up with our antics and to Joaquin for setting up the mixed games. Also thanks to Otis and Poker Stars for adding the extra cash to the prize pool and all the free gear. Thanks to Full Tilt for their help with the shootouts and the free stuff and for giving the Poker Geek a job. Thanks to Charlie Shoten for speaking again, along with Michael Craig and Barry Greenstien for their time. As well as thanks to Linda for getting Barry to come by along with Joe Sebok. It was also cool that Paul Phillips and Brandon Schaefer stopped by the MGM to play with us. And thanks to Phil Gordon for getting his ass whooped in Roshambo by Mrs. Head. Also thanks to Trump Josh to stocking AlCantHang's suite, and to AlCantHang for getting the penthouse suite. Thanks to Change100 for grabbing my junk. It's now been at least once confirmed as I challenge Bobby Bracelet for the most confirmed junk. Thanks to the Excalibur who put up with our craziness once again, especially the poor pregnant dealer who Bad Blood punched (by accident.) Thanks to everyone who brought their friends, family, and spouses so they can catch a glimpse of our special friendships and watch me lose my shirt in Pai Gow. Thanks again to everyone who participated and put their busy lives on hold for a few days to hang out and meet their favorite bloggers. This trip report could not have been possible without all of you guys. Our memories have been burned into my brain forever.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. I'll end this post with some random images from that wild weekend. Here you go. You can click on the pictures to enlarge them.


Thanks Bill!


"Dude, I just met Bonuscode Iggy!"


Mean Gene wonders if any of these men are assassins.


"Do I get the bald guy discount?"


Whiskeytown begins the prayer service








The tournament dealers


Final Table featuring Sweet Sweet Pablo


In the shadows


"Cocaine in a can, baby!"


Derek, Bobby Bracelet, Spaceman, Pauly


See ya!
posted by Pauly at 12/27/2005 10:45:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Sun Poker

I played a bunch of Pot Limit Omaha on Sun Poker and held my own the past few days. Plenty of Europeans play on that site. Pot Limit Omaha is more popular overseas than here. I try to see how my Pot Limit Omaha game is from time to time by playing against Europeans. I don't win as much as I'd like, but it's experience. Plus the only way I'm going to get better is to play against better players. My Pot Limit Omaha game has vastly improved over the past few months, thanks to the time I've been putting into the tables over at Sun Poker.

Here are some changes in my PLO game:
1. I've stopped playing too many hands out of position.
2. Folding straight draws on the flop and straights if I don't pick up any redraws.
3. Getting rid of those small and middle pairs.

Playing Pot Limit Omaha online has been fun for me. It's been a way to step away from Texas Hold'em and still stay involved. I'm at the point where those games are full of enjoyment and I can see a tangible improvement in my game during every session. The swings in PLO are much more varied than in Hold'em and that's something that shouldn't scare you if you want to start out. So far, I've only been playing at no more than the $100 buy-in PLO tables so the swings have been tiny.

I doubled up on a NL table on Christmas morning, then lost my stack two hands later. Both time with the Hilton Sisters. I rivered a four flush against J-J (when he flopped a set) and then lost to J-J when he caught his two outer on the river. Zero sum gain.

I played in two super satellites to the $500K Guaranteed which is supposed to take place Jan. 22nd. I didn't make the first break in the first super satellite. I'll spare you the bad beat story. I made it to the last 2 tables in the other and before I was crippled by two bad decisions. I folded when I should have called and called a bet when I should have folded. One of those days.

Anyway, take a peek at Sun Poker. The tables are soft as hell! The players are bad and the PLO games are nice. I've been having a good time on their site so far. Why don't you give it a try?
posted by Pauly at 12/26/2005 11:23:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Holiday Online Poker

Without any deadlines to meet, I have all this free time! I've played a slew of online poker the last few days on a couple of different sites. Just a few days ago I was stuck... big time.... aproaching $4K in losses since All Saints Day. I was worried that I'd end the year on one of my biggest slides and all-time losing streaks. Whenever you are in a slump, you start questioning everything you do and you go on slumptilt. I kept wavering back and forth with the notion that I was playing too tight or too loose. Or I'd get down on myself for not taking better notes. I tried to do everything to get out of my slump. I even asked Change100 to grab my junk again to pull me out of that horrible funk. I think it worked.

I was getting bummed out about my game when Derek reminded me of two reasons why I have been losing. The first was that I played in the most tournaments this year over the past three months. MTTs were always a -EV situation to me. I'd get so close to the money and bubble out, or I'd make the money and cash a tiny amount. Either way, I was wasting my time playing for four or five hours and having a horrible hourly winning percentage to show for my efforts. And the two or three MTTs that I did great in... were in super-satellites so all I won was a seat to a satellite... and no cash. Since my time is valuable due to a packed schedule, I'm better off playing ring games where my hourly rate is signifcantly higher.

The second item that Derek pointed out was that I was playing more low-limit games than I'm used to. Between all the tournament fees and all the low-limit donkey poker I had been playing, the loses started to add up. Tack on a few losing sessions at Pai Gow and craps, then more that 2/3 of my losses could be accounted for. That meant 1/3 of my total losses were from stupid plays from yours truly and the nature of luck and suckouts. The stats tell me that I'm way off my game, but the reality of it was that I wasn't playing as bad as I thought. My game was far from perfect, but as Derek pointed out, most of those loses could be justified. If I eliminated blogger tables, tournaments, casino table games, and prop bets... then I'd barely be phased by a small dent in my bankroll.

My degeneracy has hijacked my bankroll. I'm trying to get it back on track. The prop bets with Grubby were getting a little out of control. And yes, we even bet on what drink Change100 would order at the poker table or which one of us would win a hand of Pai Gow first. Luckily, I left Vegas on a winning note in prop bets and in poker. Change100 gave me 4 to 1 odds that I couldn't throw a piece of gum out of the window of her room at the Excalibur. I nailed it.

Full Tilt

You've probably alreay read about my Christmas Eve $3/$6 session on Full Tilt with Derek, Jen Harman, and Andy Bloch. That was pretty fun and completely unexpected. It's one of the cool things that FT has to offer over other sites; the ability to play with pros. I'm still cringing over some of the questions Jen got in the chat. Some guy even asked about the rivered straight flush against her in the main event of the WSOP.

I still have a chunk of my reload bonus to work off and have been doing so over the past weekend. I played $3/$6 with Derek, Daddy, and Boobie Lover on Christmas late night. Daddy was all liquored up and well stuffed after a Christmas feast. I had a nice session at that table while Daddy won a huge hand with 9-3o and promtly tilted the table.

I was checking out the Full Tilt Store. For $1 million points you get your own custom Avatar. I heard a rumor that the Poker Geek has to pay $2 million for his.

Poker Stars

If you don't know, Poker Stars is awarding double FPP or player points from now through the end of the year. Time to rack them up! I've been two tabling $3/6 ring games and adding a PLO table to the mix. I played with Alan on Christmas. I rivered a gut-shot straight flush. He was wacthing with April on Christmas Eve when I flopped quads playing PLO. Anyway, Heather sat down at my PLO ring game table as did Alan today and later Sparky.

I've had plenty of up and down sessions of Poker Stars at the $3/$6 tables. I recall a time when those tables were tough to beat. Even some of the $5/$10 tables on Poker Stars have become super fishy. Lot's of folks chasing baby flushes in heads up play.

I played in a two EPT Monte Carlo FPP round one freerolls. My best was a 37 out of 518. Of course that got me nothing.

Wil is hosting the Obie34 Invitational at Poker Stars on Tuesday at 7pm EST. I'll do my best to make it. I took 2nd place in Wil's tourney on Thursday when I blew a huge chiplead to Marty.

Party Poker

The suits at Party Poker sent me an email saying that they'd cancel all my Party Poker points unless I logged in and played. I played a few freerolls with Grubby before I left Vegas using my Player's points.

I had a bad session at a $5/$10 6-max table. I made some of those losses back at the $50 PLO tables yesterday. I busted two guys when I flopped a straight flush draw, then turned it.

Played some of the $3/$6 bad beat tables and walked away about even.

Well, it's not the Bellagio, Mirage, Mandalay Bay, and MGM... but I'm still enjoying my time playing online poker at Full Tilt, Party Poker, Sun Poker, and Poker Stars. After all, I can't sit pantless in a room that's filled with thick ganja smoke in a casino in Las Vegas. Gotta enjoy those moments while I can.


Recent Poker Playing Music...
1. Miles Davis
2. Charlie Hunter
3. Karl Denson
4. Velvet Underground
5. The Funky Meters
posted by Pauly at 12/26/2005 09:44:00 PM | Permalink |

 
My Christmas Wish


31 years ago today...
Last year I asked my friends who were poker bloggers to take some of their bankroll and buy presents for sick kids or poor kids. Many of them took it to heart and did just that. Otis understood what I was trying to get everyone to do and took my suggestion to another level. I was blown away by the impact a few words on my blog can do.

This year, I'm doing the same.

My Christmas Wish? Within the first week of the New Year, I want you to do at least one unselfsh thing and help out someone in your community.

It can be a friend or family member, but try to make it for someone you do not know. I'm trying to inspire you to do a random act of kindness towards a stranger. Hopefully these kind acts will trickle throughout the cosmos. I've done a lot to hurt my karma this past year and I'm trying to repair it with a bunch of duct tape and My Christmas Wish.

I know that at least Otis is gonna do this, so how about you? I encourage you ask your friends and families to do the same. I figure that if at least 100 bloggers and 1,000 readers can do this, then that will mean 1,100 more smiles on people's faces during this holiday season.

*****

Flipchip posted Twas the Night Before Christmas in the Poker Room. Take a peek at that.

One of the favorite pieces of literature is Auggie Wren's Christmas story written by one of my favorite NYC authors, Paul Auster. I reposted it on the Tao of Pauly. Enjoy and have a great holiday.
posted by Pauly at 12/25/2005 01:15:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Christmas EVe with Full Tilters

Played 3 out of the last 4 days both online and in Las Vegas and I'm up in all three days. Losing streak is gone. Picked up almost $1K in the last three sessions. Almost 30% of my losses have been wiped out.

Played a PLO MTT on Poker Stars with Derek and the Poker Nerd. I took 104th out of 324. I played a PLO cash table and walked away up 3x, before I doubled up on a 6-max NL table with April & Alan. On the button I called a big raise with 9-7s and wrote in the chat, "I got implied tilt odds." I flopped two pair on a board of K-9-7 all hearts and doubled up against a guy who had A-K, neither of which was a heart. Hit and run.

I sat down at a $3/$6 table on Full Tilt to clear my reload bonus. An empty seat opened up and Derek sat down. Four minutes later, the lovely Jen Harman sat down. Within seconds the waitlist grew and grew. It reached as high as 44. Plenty of railbirds where clogging up the chat asking her stupid questions.

My favorite: "Jen are you Jewish?"

I had plenty of railbirds including F Train, Bad Blood, April, and Alan.

Andy Bloch stopped by in the chat. He got ont he waitlist which went quickly after Jen left to go to Midnight Mass. We played with Andy for a bit too. Two pros in one night! It was so special that even Derek blogged about it. I've only played with a Full Tilter in a tournament, but never in a ring game. I doubled up my buy-in and left when Andy left. An awesome day for me in the waters of online poker.




posted by Pauly at 12/24/2005 11:58:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Caribbean Sun Poker's Facelift

One of my good friends from college lives in South America. He works for a major insurance company and travels all around the world. In the past few months he confessed to me one of his secret addictions... online poker. Yeah, it started as a way to kill time in lonely hotel rooms. He's in a serious relationship and hookers is not a viable option for him. So he turned to online poker. At first it was an online casino where he'd play blackjack. But after losing his shirt, he decided to try out poker.

Caribbean Sun Poker (also known as Sun Poker) is owned by Peak Entertainment who also owns several online casinos that have been operating for years. They are a part of the CryptoLogic network which means you're playing against the same group of players from William Hill Poker. My buddy was playing on one of those casino sites and clicked on a link to Sun Poker. He was hooked right away. He played for a few months before he admitted his secret addiction and asked for some tips. Since that was the only site that would take his credit card, he only played there. In order to watch him play and mentor him (which I have been known to do to some of my friends and fellow bloggers) I had to download and install Sun Poker. I'm glad I did.

Since I'd be up at random times and he'd be all over the world, I'd get a random IM message or email telling me he wanted to play poker together or for me to sweat him in a tournament.

He's improved over the last few months. In the meantime, I drove up my bankroll to a pleasurable amount playing PLO and NL ring games. The players are so awful on Sun Poker that it's a great place to play. Most of them are coming over from their sister casino sites which means they are degenerate gamblers and action junkies. On smaller sites the players tend to be awful which means more fish to fry.

The graphics are much better than Titan/Noble. The techies over there also recently gave it a new facelift. It used to be red everything, especially the tables. It's now a softer shade of green. I'm not going to say that I have pull over at Sun Poker, but a few weeks after I sent them a complaint email, they fixed it. Just a coincidence, I'm sure.

The limit hold'em games go up as high as $150/$300 for both US $ and Pounds. The highest I've played is $3/$6 and those tables were soft. The highest NL stakes are $10/20 both US and Pounds. I played a lot of $1/2 NL and at the $0.50/$1 PLO tables.

Sun Poker reminds me of Full Tilt when they first started out. They games were so profitable due to the terrible players that I didn't tell anyone or write about it out of fear of my shark friends coming over and gobbling up all the money. So here's my little secret.

In October, I had been trying to win a seat in the Caribbean Poker Classic which happened a few weeks ago. I won a seat into the satellite by winning a super-satellite but didn't even make it to the first break. That was the closest I came to winning a seat.

If you like short-handed play, they have Six-Pack Tournaments. I like that format a lot because it allows hyper-aggressive Pauly to be unleashed and I can play more hands. On Sunday there's a guaranteed $30K at 3pm that most of the time has an overlay. My buddy has cashed in that at least twice.

Sun Poker has a BadBeat Jackpot where Quad Jacks or better have to get beat in a ring game. They also have a player's point system where you accumulate poker points for playing in ring games and tournaments. Those points can be used for freerolls.

After you play you're 200th hand in a given month, you get $40! That's pretty cool way to reward their regular players.

Warning #1: They list games in British Pounds and US Dollars. Make sure you pick the correct tournaments or tables.

Warning #2: You need a PIN# before you can cashout. Follow the instructions and you will be OK.

Figure I'd shill Sun Poker today since I've been playing on it non-stop since I got back to NYC. Look for me, my screen name is: DrPauly.
posted by Pauly at 12/24/2005 06:09:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Truckin' - December 2005, Vol. 4, Issue 12


1. Sunset by Tenzin McGrupp
In my grandmother's eyes, she was in Hell's waiting room and she couldn't get out. She asked God to take her right there on the spot but refused. She's been pissed off ever since... More

2. Saving Time by F Train
We'd have been able to revisit that hour, again and again, whenever we wanted, twisting and turning it like a Rubik's cube, marveling in an unexpected combination or viewing its myriad colors from a previously undiscovered angle... More

3. Lost Time by Change100
The next thing I remember is being in a cab sandwiched between two big black hookers. The hookers were talking to each other about my state of conciousness and I think one of them sort of poked me to see if I was at all alive... More

4. The Birthening by Bobby Bracelet
I distinctly remember hanging out in my dad's left nut with all my buddies. All the cool sperms hung out on the left side. The right side was where we all agreed the potential fags, cripples, and uglies hung out... More

5. Life Memories by Armando Huerta
It's always disconcerting to put your items on sale subjecting them to ridicule, harsh comments or just plain disinterest. Every time someone comes by to see something of yours for sale that you're treasured for years it's rather unnerving to see them roll their eyes or say something rude... More

6. Walk: The Second Step by Scuba Steve
Jake had woken up that morning with a sort of foolish optimism that there really was such a thing as Christmas magic and that somehow, this year, there would actually be presents under the tree... More

7. The Raise by Daddy
Before the words had even left my lips Jake stood up, and started to unzip his faded blue jeans. With his left hand he dug deep into his boxer shorts, jostled things around a bit, and finally pulled out his old worn out nutsack... More

8. A Typical Friday Night by Mr. Subliminal
One last look in the mirror. I tighten my belt one more notch, but there is no avoiding the Homer Simpson-like side profile. No matter, if this is the price I have to pay for maturity and a modicum of sophistication, then so be it... More

*****

This issue features several new writers such as Mr. Subliminal and Change100. We also have returning authors who are back sharing some amazing stories. Those include Bobby Bracelet, Scuba Steve, F Train, Armando Huerta, and Daddy. Plus I share a touching story about the death of my grandmother.

If you like these stories, then please do me and the rest of the writers a huge favor: Tell your friends about your favorite stories. It takes a few seconds to pass along the URL. I certainly appreciate your support. Feel free to shoot me an e-mail if you know anyone who is interested in being added to the mailing list.
posted by Pauly at 12/24/2005 04:34:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Tool of the Man and A Night of Rounding

Congrats to Marty who won Wil's Thursday night tournament on Poker Stars. I blew a 4 to 1 chiplead at the final table to Marty and came in 2nd place. Great job, dude. Thanks to Wil for hosting and everyone for sweating at the end.


In a random side note, Wil was on megatilt in the tourney and he got on even more ubertilt after he was sucked out on twice in a row in an SNG. He called me to vent. I listened and when Wil was done venting, I said, "Dude, you owe $2 for those bad beat stories."

He ended up sending me the funds...

Hello DrPauly,

We have transferred $2.00 to your account as requested by 'Wil Wheaton'.

Good luck to you both.

Regards,
PokerStars Cashier

Moving on...

After Wil's tournament I almost played ring games with Jaxia. She decided to crash and I remembered that I was in Las Vegas. Fuck online poker which is rigged and run by the Russian mafia and Dick Cheney. I'm staying at Excalibur thanks to free rooms courtesy of Grubby's horrendous slot play over 2005. I headed towards the poker room before I stopped in my tracks and twirled around and walked towards Mandalay Bay.

When you're caught in a bad streak, you have to confront your fears.

Normalcy would tell me to avoid Mandalay Bay, but since my bad run has been spread out of a half a dozen casinos in Las Vegas, I decided to return to the source. It's one of my favorite casinos and I don't want to have to skip going there out of a silly supersticious notion.

I walked through the sports book and eyed a few NFL games. I was seated at a NL table right away while I waited for my $4/$8 with a half kill. I love that game, but never got a chance to play in it. My NL table was a wet dream.

Seat 1: Miss Nipples: Hot chick with no bra
Seat 2: Frat Boy #1: I wear Sunglasses
Seat 3: Sideways Hat Doofus
Seat 4: Old Asian Guy
Seat 5: Girlfriend of Sideways Hat Doofus
Seat 6: Drunk Guy from Chicago
Seat 7: Your Hero
Seat 8: Frat Boy #2: I'm a Unabomber Wannabe
Seat 9: Local Golf Pro
Seat 10: Dealer from The Orleans

Second hand, I'm in the LB. I found K-K. Golf Pro, Orleans Dealer, Miss Nipples aka Hot chick with no bra, and Frat Boy #1 all limped in. Doofus folded along with old Asian guy. Drunk Guy called as does Frat Boy #2. I moved all in for $197 and stared at the bulging hard nipples on the hot chick which was difficult since she was in Seat 1. I got 5 callers. I thought I was in fuckin' L.A. with that action and knew my hand would end up getting cracked. Two of them had bigger stacks. Two of them were less than $100. If my hand held up, I'd be scooping a ginormous pot.

The flop: K-4-A. Turn was a 10, and the river was a 10.

I was up against A-4, A-5s, Q-J, 6-6, and A-9. Miss Nipples turned a straight but I rivered the boat. Sickest hand I ever played live. Daddy would have been proud. I played out the rest of the orbit. I reluctantly mucked the Hammer UTG and walked away. I was up $650 when I sauntered past the Hooker Bar and let my mind race. I had enough for 2 hookers and decided agaianst it. I quickly went to the taxi stand and headed to another poker room.

I had not played at the Mirage since the trip began. I bought in for $600 at the 10-20 game. I played super tight the first 30 minutes then I losened up and raised in LP with J-9 or the Jaxia. I flopped a straight but one old lady with a mole scuked out a flush with K-2s. Huge pot with three players in until the river. 30 minutes later after losing most of my stack to blinds and missing flops with middle pair, I found A-Qs and raised UTG. Four callers. I flopped a queen with two rags and bet out. On the turn I was raised by a guy who looked like Paulie Walnuts when another Queen fell and I led out. We went back and forth a few times raising before he just called. The river was a King and I bet out. For some reason I put Paulie Walnuts on KQ and wanted to make sure. When he raised my river bet, I reraised. He came back over the top. I didn't have too many chips left and called. I showed my trips with an ace kicker. He had pocket Aces. Ouch. I was back to about even at that table. When that orbit ended I left down a few bucks. I was still up $600 overall.

As I passed a craps table I spotted a hot chick who looked like Belinda Carlise circa 1986. She was sipping on some sort of Daquiri or strawberry Julius. There was an empty space next to her so I wandered over. I was still up from that sick NL hand at Mandalay Bay and cracking aces. I decided to try to double up the TJ Cloutier way. Shooting dice.

Within a few minutes the hot chick admitted that she had no clue what she was doing. She was in town with her family and couldn't sleep. She decided to watch everyone play and finally got enough courage to buy in at the craps table. I gave her no advice and was honest. I told her I had limited craps skills and that I was a degenerate gambler. She smilled and proceeded to hit five points in a row. In honor of Spaceman, I even tossed out a bet, "On the yo!" And the the former Go-Go look-a-like nailed it.

During one of my tosses I had her blow on the dice. So fuckin cheesey. It didn't work, but by the time I decided to have to take a piss, I was up. I almost tripled up when I lost $75 right away on a few bad throwers and a fake-breasted bimbette with a rock on her finger the size of golf ball.

When it was over I was up $200 shooting dice for the night. I was up $800 as I walked over to the Bellagio. I was going to go to Ceaser's to check out their new room, but I was engrossed in a phone call and kept walking past it. When I got to the Bellagio it was after 2am, there was a short wait before I got on an $8/16 table. I ony played for an hour before I made two bad calls when I knew I was out kicked. Once with Q-J and the other with A-J. Dropped about $200 and I was still up $600 after trips to Mandalay Bay, Mirage, and the Bellagio.

I walked into the Monte Carlo. Derek and I lost a ton of cash playing blackjack there many moons ago. I was determined to leave Monte Carlo on a winning streak. I played NL there and ended up down $20 when I decided to leave my lame table. I can't recall anything specific aside from the fact I didn't want to be there anymore. I was up $580.

It was not too cold so I walked across the street to MGM and stopped at FatButger along the way to get a chocolate shake. At MGM, I sat down at a 1-2 NL table. I dropped by buy-in in the first hour after I lost set over set. I had not flopped a set in alive game in weeks it seemed (before the K-K at MB) and I lost my stack when my 8-8 lost to 10-10. I left around 6am after not catching any cards after a rebuy. I was only up $410 overall. Unreal. I should have skipped the other casinos and just went back to write after that sick ass hand at Mandalay Bay.

Past 6am, I walked back into the castle and I ate a busicuit from McDs. There was still a NL table running with few locals and two drunk guys from Holland. I flopped a set of 3s and rivered quads. I only won $100 on that hand and only got $25 on the wheel spin. It was yellow in case you were wondering. I lost a big pot with A-Q to A-K and got sucked out on when I flopped two pair with Kournikova. I ended up losing about $100 at Excalibur when I left the table about an hour or so ago. They have tournaments now, if you don't know. I considered signing up but I wanted to go write instead.

I was up around $300 after a late night gambling binge that took me to Mandalay Bay, Mirage, Bellagio, Monte Carlo, MGM, and the Excalibur... all within 8+ hours. I always wanted to pull an all nighter like that with Grubby, bu we never got around to doing that. Next year.

So I returned to my room and watched Dawson's Creek and started writing this instead of sleeping. Yes I probably would not have lost some cash on a few bad beats and a few bad decisions if I returend to my room as soon as I won that hand and ran up my nightly roll to over $800. I let it ride and was not afraid to lose money. When it was all over, I had a few stories to tell and posted two winning days in a row. That's a streak. I think I can leave Vegas now on a positive note.

The bleeding has been stopped.

*****

You should be reading.... BG's musings at Random Thoughts and Thoroughbred Selections.
posted by Pauly at 12/23/2005 01:47:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Pimp My Nuts: Radio Free Pauly, Spaceman Intervieweth, and Slot Whoring

Before Grubby went to Long Beach for the holidays, we stopped by Silverton for a little slots whoring. I won $22 playing Mr. Cashman. That's Grubby's favorite slot game.

I had a late lunch with Poker Prof and Change100. Afterwards we got drinks at the Sherwood Forest bar and I won $3 playing video poker. That's up $25 today on -EV games.

I played on Party Poker with Iggy, Helixx, Heather, -EV, and a reader named Dohpee who kept pissing himself. The Bad Beat Jackpot was over $420K when I left. (Editor's note: It's now at $438K!)

I also sweated Joe Speaker on a Full Tilt MTT. If you don't know Full Tilt has a reload bonus offer of 50% up to $300 running through Jan. 4th.

I played some PLO on Poker Stars. I doubled up when I flopped a Broadway with Q-10 and it held up. I always play different games when I'm in the middle of a losing streak to shake things up.

After I got some work done, I joined Change100 who was sitting at a juicy NL table in the Excalibur with a British guy who loved Thai hookers. When I sat down, he was telling the table about the $15/per day girls.

The guys on my end of the table were afraid of Change100.

"She's always has good cards," one frat boy metioned.

"Blondie over there?" I challenged, "No fuckin' way. She's a total California fish. I've played with her before."

They didn't buy it. Change100 managed to storm all the way back from $50 to over $400 and they were frightened. Fear the junkgrabber.

And me? I finally ended my losing streak. I doubled up playing $1/3 NL on a sketchy hand. I limped with 3d-4d. British guy raised to $10, his standard raise for better than marginal hands like middle pairs and A-J or A-10. Frat boy and me both cold call. The flop was J-6-7. British dude bet $10 and I was about to muck and said, "Ah, this is a loose call and tossed $10 into the pot."

The turn was a 5. I bet out almost the size of the pot announcing to the table I caught my card. British guy thinks and folds with a disgusting look on his face. Frat guy smooth called. River was a blank. When the frat boy checked, I moved all in. He sighed and called. He had 6-7 for two pair and I had the bitch end of the straight. Frat boy played his had terribly on the flop and I busted him. If he raised, I would have folded.

"On a fuckin' gutshot?" the Brit said to Change100. "Terrible. Terrible call."

I was only getting 4 to 1 on that "bloody awful" call, but the implied tilt odds were devestating. So much so that the British guy who loved Thai hookers stacked up his chips and left. I got him on tilt. I stacked up all my red chips into two huge towers and left a few hands later after doubling up. Hit and run is the way to rebuild your stack after a losing streak. It felt good to cash out up.

And now the pimping begins...

Thanks to Sean at the Lord Admiral Card Club Radio Show and Podcast for including me in this week's episode. I interviewed Phil Gordon which I taped a few minutes after Mrs. Head took $200 from him in Roshambo. It's hilarious.

If you don't know by now, Card Club the best and longest running podcast dedicated to poker in the universe, and I'm honored that those guys let me be a part! I'm no Joey Jeremiah, but over the last year, I've become a huge cult figure in Canada thanks to Cinci Sean & Brent Stacks. As always, I'm happy to be a part of their amazing show. Sean and Brent are working hard every week in Toronto to get their podcast done (for free) so stop by and show your support.

You can download the MP3 of this week's show... Episode 56: Here. (Right Click and Save As)

If you want to catch up and listen to previous episodes, please visit their archives over at Brainscat. Stop by Card Club at Lord Admiral Radio and check them out. Thanks again to Sean and Stacks for having me on.

By the way Lady Falcon did a little profile on yours truly and explained the cast of characters at one of her home games. Her blog is starting to take form. Some good stuff over there and you should check it out. I can't wait to get back to NYC and play with her again.

Thanks to F Train and Ugarte for helping out with their stellar (and free) legal advice for both me and Iggy. Good to know that we have such generous, cool, and resourceful friends in our community that don't think twice about pitching in and helping out their friends when some assclown tried to steal our stuff. We owe you guys.

By the way Spaceman wrote two pretty kick ass things. One is an interview with Wil Wheaton. The other is a piece he wrote about this asshole who played at our table last week at the IP. Derek, Jaxia, and Iggy were also there when the fucktard called Spaceman a donkey. Take a peek at Meet Cliff.

Make sure you download the latest Maudecast. She rules. Seriously. Maudie kicks ass.
posted by Pauly at 12/22/2005 07:17:00 AM | Permalink |

 
I Loathe Putrid Poker Piss Ants and the Tao of Jesus

Sorry, Iggy, no Chasing Amy quotes today. I'm too bitter about that fucktard who's been ripping off our shit. He even got Iggy on tilt for the last few days. Yes, it's the price to pay for having a popular blog. But we know people in low places and will be taking care of everything the old school way. Plus we know a bunch of lawyers who haven't been fed in weeks.

In the immortal words of Jesus Quintana:

What's this day of rest shit? What's this bullshit? I don't fuckin' care! It don't matter to Jesus. But you're not foolin' me, man. You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus. This bush league psyche-out stuff. Laughable, man - ha ha! I would have fucked you in the ass Saturday. I fuck you in the ass next Wednesday instead. Wooo! You got a date Wednesday, baby!

Moving on...

I want to tell you about the losing streak I'm stuck in but I'm gunshy. It's been horrible and I won't reveal the bad beats. All you need to know is I'm down a good $600+ this week and my loses have been hovering around $3500 since All Souls Day. This is the exact reason why I haven't cashed out any of my bankroll this year aside to buy a laptop on Full Tilt winnings. You need the roll to absord the down swings. My last big winning day was at Hawaiian Gardens in California on the day I found out my grandmother died and even on that day, I got my aces all in preflop and they were cracked after some guy called my $350 bet with 9-9 and flopped a set. Since then my junk has been kicked in numerous times and grabbed at least twice by female poker bloggers.

Speaking of junk grabbing... everyone's favorite Hollywierd junkgrabber is in town. I hung out with her last night and then we headed over to MGM to play some cards. Grubby and his college buddy were playing NL. Change100 sat at a nice NL table with tons of guys wearing sunglasses and doing chiptricks. "A table of douche bags," she described to me.

I decided to stop playing NL, switch gears, and headed to a $4/$8 half-kill game. I've been making bad decisions playing NL the last 10 days so I headed back to the comforts of the limit tables. That was a nice game with plenty of action. Sadly I had high pocket pairs cracked and lost a monster kill pot with A-K. I flopped trip aces and a guy with A-J rivered his kicker. I didn't fault him. It's hard to get away from flopping trip aces. But that pot killed my spirit for the remainder of the night.

We left MGM around 3 or4am. I was down more than a full buy-in and we headed back to Excalibur. We ended up both getting royally fucked there.

Oh well, at least it's Wednesday around noon and it's not as cold as it has been in Las Vegas. I have my health. I still have a decent bankroll. And I have one last freelance thing to do and I'm done with work for the year.

As one of my fraternity brothers once said during an awful run at blackjack in Biloxi, "In order to win big.... lose big."
posted by Pauly at 12/21/2005 02:52:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Moderation Mondays

To answer two quick questions that have been flooding my inbox...

1. Yes. I'm still in Las Vegas until Christmas Eve.
2. I don't kiss and tell.

Moving on...

I was sick on Sunday. Nothing like the Gracie Flu, but close to it. I even skipped watching football. I knew I was sick on the way to the Green Valley Ranch buffet with Grubby on Sunday. He had a 2 for 1 coupon. I stopped at Smith's to buy Airborne on the way. Man that stuff tastes like ass. During the champagne buffet at GVR, I didn't even get the champagne nor all the shrimp and king crab. I couldn't overstuff myself. I didn't even get a chocolate shake, which they will make for you in the far corner near all the desserts. When I got back to chez Grubby, I felt worse.

Sunday night I tried to write and was dead tired. I kept falling asleep from the nyquil. That's why I thought my last post sucked. At least I got my last freelance article of 2005 in under the deadline. I've already seen the pre-production layout. They will be including some of my photos as well.

By the way, the most recent issue of Poker Pro features a story and photos from me about the WPT Foxwoods. It's the one with Jesus on the front. Take a peek at it if you see it in your local card room. In some good career realted news, Poker Pro hired me to write a monthly tournament column in their magazine for the duration of 2006. Thanks to them for hiring me on a steady basis and special thanks to Lou Krieger who recommended me to the editors.

Although all the details have not been finalized, I made a verbal committment to cover the LA Poker Classic at Commerce Casino in February 2006. I think I'm also doing the WPT Invitational too, which means I should be in LA for a little under two weeks. As soon as the details are official, I'll tell you more.

*****

Flipchip bought Grubby, myself, and Poker Prof a late lunch at The Palm yesterday. I ate the filet mignon (medium) and we had an interesting discussion on the SEC investigation into Doyle Brunson. They wanted my take on it since I used to work on Wall Street. In fact, a major TV network contacted me about the story and since I'm a poker writer who's a former Wall Street trader, they wanted to interview me. I declined. "I'm on vacation," I told them.

Anyway, Grubby and I met up with Change100 who fought brutal traffic from LA to return to Las Vegas. We ended up in the Excalibur poker room because Grubby had 3 free nights of rooms which he so kindly gave away to Change100. It also included a free spa treatment too. Anyway, we sat down at $1-3 NL (200 max buy in). They sat at the same table and I was on the rail at a different table. As soon as I sat down, the guy in Seat 2 said "Wow, here's Dr. Pauly!"

Yeah, I was recognized by a nice guy named Geroge (or KingGeroge as he goes in my comments). He's an avid reader of all of our blogs and was going to leave until I sat down. I dropped the Hammer in his honor and lost a $75 pot. I raised preflop and one limper from Iowa called. The flop was K-Q-2 and I caught a piece. Iowa checked and I bet the pot. Iowa called. On the turn, a 10 fell. He checked, I put him all in and he called with Q-J. He had the best hand, but the way I was betting he should have folded. I sheepishly flipped over the Hammer.

Devilfish said it best during the 2005 WSOP, "Never bluff a calling station."

Later on I pushed KingGeorge off a pot. He had Hiltons and I had 10-10. He raised preflopa nd I reraised. I put out a huge bet ont he flop when an ace hit and he mucked face up. Anyway, he was a great guy and he'll be around later this week. I hope to get to play with him some more.

After crawling back to even, I lost a big pot later on a bad beat. $150 of my stack gone in the blink of an eye.

Then it was off to the Pai Gow poker tables where I got cold decked. Lady luck was with Change100. It was her first time playing and she won. I lost my entire buy-in.

The slide continues. And I didn't even get my junk grabbed by Change100. My mojo is slipping.

Around 4:45am, Grubby and I headed back to chez Grubby. I wanted a Krispy Kreme for the ride home. We went upstairs to the food court and I got an apple fritter. On our way down the escalator, a hooker had just got off the up escalator. She stopped and stood next to me on the way down.

"Is there a donut in there for me?"

"No," I said.

"Awww, why weren't you thinking about me?"

I wanted to say, "Hey honey, if I didnt drop $300 tonight I'd consider the thought of watching you suck Change100's toes for ten minutes straight while Grubby threw peanuts at you."

Instead I shrugged my shoulders. That's when she shouted, "George!"

For no reason at all she yelled "George!"

I laughed because that was the name of the guy I met a few hours earlier. She told Grubby that her grandfather's name was George. There's no point to this story. Aside from the fact that some random hooker shouted out, "George" on an escalator in the Excalibur.

She asked me where we were headed.

"Back home. We live here," I said.

The best way to get rid of a hooker is to tell them that you are a local. That's my Las Vegas tip of the day.

Just another Monday in Las Vegas... got a job offer, ate filet mignon, declined an interview, met a fan, and was propositioned by a hooker after getting cold decked in Pai Gow.

*****

P.S. Wil Wheaton moved his tourneys to Tuesdays on Poker Stars.

5:40pm... Update: I took 28th out of 70 in Wil's tourney. My A-5 lost to A-4. Typical of hat's been happening to me recently. I was originally seated at Jaxia's table for most of the tourney. With J-J and A-Q-4 on the board, she bluffed me off a pot with a middle pair.
posted by Pauly at 12/20/2005 03:44:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Bloggers in Wonderland Part 3: Cocaine In a Can, Baby!

"Since you like chicks, right, do you just look at yourself naked in the mirror all the time?" - Banky, Chasing Amy

Several years ago, Derek (who finally has a post up about Las Vegas on Poker in the Weeds) and I started a tradition of going to Las Vegas in December to bet on pro football. We'd head to Mandalay Bay and sit in the sports book, drink, and bet on different games. That tradition was the focal point of last year's blogger get together and many historians will point to the annual weekend with my brother as the origins of the entire bloggers in Vegas gatherings. It's something that we always did and it was cool that one of our family traditions became a staple in the bloggers in Vegas trips. Last year BG and Bobby Bracelet got to the sports book early to secure a spot. The rest was history. The lovely EvaCanHang passed out. AlCantHang led the entire sportsbook in the San Diego Superchargers fight song. And I won a shitload of cash betting on the Bengals because Iggy told me to do it. This year, we vowed to return and create more mayhem.

I woke up with severe cotton mouth after a Saturday night that entailed too many party favors and one too many SoCos. I gulped down two bottles of water while taking a piss and lamented as I looked in the mirror.

"For fuck's sake. I'm Ben Affleck in Chasing Amy. Somebody fuckin' kill me."

Jaxia went back to sleep and decided to sleep in and skip football. I woke up Derek and we stumbled out of the IP past the dealertainers and took a cab to Mandalay Bay. When we got there, we couldn't find anyone. We were late and the first games started. We didn't get any bets in. Derek found Mean Gene near the bathroom where I watched the couple fuck a few months ago and I found Drizz sitting in a row near the Race book. That was the only space they could get. Dejected, Derek and I headed to the cafe for breakfast. That's when Derek's order got fucked up by the waitress who looked a lot like Imelda Marcos. He asked for chicken fingers and she brought him chicken fajitas.

"Excuse, this is not what I ordered."

"Yes it is. You said chicken fajitas."

"No I didn't. I know what the fuck I wanted for breakfast."

Don't piss Derek off, especially when he's been drinking. When she returned, Derek got shorted one chicken finger. He was going to complain, but we just stiffed the waitress instead. No shoe money for her.

We headed back to the sports book and hung out with Drizz, BG, StB, Joe Speaker and on_thg. They were betting on the ponies and won a big bet on one called "Too Drunk to Call." Fitting. I gave BG some cash and told him to make some random picks for me. At one point, I placed a bet on a horse named AJ something in honor of Joe Speaker's kid. Lost by a nose too.

That seemed indicative of my long weekend. I had been stuck in one of the worst losing streaks in my life. I hoped that the Mandalay Bay would snap that streak. After all, I've won over five figures in the sports book and poker rooms combined since 2000. The poker room is where I padded my bankroll after the WSOP ended. The sports book is where I killed the games during March Madness at numerous times over the last five years. If there was one casino that I had the most career earnings at... it was Mandalay Bay. Plus I also met Jaxia for the first time at the bar in the sports book after getting cold decked by the video poker machine. MB was a magical and special place for me on several levels but I was afraid that I'd fall into a karmic funk and find myself knee deep in a ton of bad mojo over an incident that happened a few weeks ago. A friend of a friend dosed a hooker the night before Halloween at the bar in Mandalay Bay with LSD and I figured the gambling gods were not pleased. I had nothing to do with it but I watched and let it happen. I was curious and demented at the same time. I need to build a several churches in Africa just to get my mojo back on track.

We took the Chiefs getting 3 over the Cowboys and it came down to the last play of the game. Friggin' missed field goal made the game a push for us. Oh well. I'm pretty sure Gamecock and Dr. Jeff had money on them too.

I hung out and talked a lot with Trump Josh and Biggestron. It a hectic weekend that was the most time I got to spend with both. I wish I had more time because out of all the new bloggers I met, I felt I bonded with them the most. Joaquin was hitting on a ton of chicks. He asked one LA hottie where she got her jacket. He lied and said he worked for the Conde Nast building in Times Square. The Rooster can pick up women anytime, anyplace, anywhere.

Iggy and I had a funny conversation with Change100 about life in Hollyweird as she ate a tuna sandwich. She kept telling me, "Pauly we have to get you an agent."

No-fuckin'-shit. I need a pimp to whore out my ass.

A few bloggers hit the poker room and the rest kept betting money on the ponies. We picked a horse named Mr. Otis. And the fucker didn't come in the money. It was fun watching it race. The Heads were sorting through the Daily Racing Form and splashing the cash around on different races. Jaxia eventually arrived after she had lunch with Maudie. After the second game ended we headed over to MGM because a few guys like CJ and JoeSpeaker wanted to play in the 6pm tourney.

At the MGM, I got onto a NL table and Derek sat in the back of the room on a different NL table. He suffered two of the most brutal suckouts I had ever seen and lost two buy ins. He played with Alan, Grubby, and Russ Fox. I lost a buy in making an awful move against a severely loose player. I was on tilt and ended up sitting at a $2/4 table with Jaxia, Royal, his buddy, Joaquin, and Helixx. Steaming, I left and headed to the bar.

I sweated JoeSpeaker and CJ for a while and caught one hand in particular when JoeSpeaker had A-Q and flopped a Queen and threw out a pussy bet on the flop. At the bar, I chatted up MrsSpeaker and hung out with BigMike, AlCantHang, TeamScottsmith, ShepSmith, and Derek. We wandered back over to watch the final table which featured JoeSpeaker and CJ. Speaker took 4th I think and CJ went all the way for the big win. He's remarkable. Change100 called to say goodbye. She had to drive back to LA. Grubby said she had tears in her eyes when she left.

After the MGM we headed back to the Imperial Palace, were a slew of wasted people rode the monorail back with some cowboys. That's when I filmed the infamous quote from Human Head, "Cocaine in a can baby!" when he referred to Red Bull.

AlCantHang wanted to have a party where we drank the remainder of his liquor. Trump Josh had provided most of the beverages and we drank it all. They ordered pizzas and AlCantHang kept pouring shots for me and BigMike. The next thing I knew it, it was almost Midnight. I had two great conversations with Joe Speaker and the Human Head on writing. I also got to chat with Mrs. Speaker some more.

"Stop charming my wife!" Joe Speaker kept yelling at me.

I took a few pictures with Gracie up on AlCantHang's terrace before we headed to Casino Royale for $2 craps. Jen Leo met us there, along with Biggestron, Human Head, Mrs. Head, Jaxia, CJ, Travis, Royal, Royal's buddy, TrumpJosh, and Spaceman (I think). We passed by the Subway where Daddy spent $17 on a single sandwich with double the meat and double the bacon. Good Lord. I must admit, at this point of the trip I hit my peak "fuckedupness" of the weekend where I never should have been near any sort of gambling table, let alone walking and talking to strangers. Of course I was shooting dice with Trump Josh at my side which was one of my favorite moments of the entire weekend. I kept yelling at Jen Leo and called her "Jenny from the Block" when she tossed. CJ was on a bad run and when it was my turn to roll, he was all in. Well I can't recall specifics, but I went on a rush and rolled for over ten minutes. Some old guy standing in between TrumpJosh and Jaxia was timing all of us. I felt bad because I lied to him and said we all went to Harvard Medical School together.

Anyway, CJ went on a run while I rolled and built his stack back up. I nailed a hard eight and I had a bet out there "for the boys" who were pleased with my tip. I had not rolled a hard eight in over 3.5 years. Mrs. Head threw one as well.

I'll take that fuckin' memory to my grave. Shooting dice with my friends at 3am in Las Vegas. One of the top 100 moments of my life. Hands down.

We went back to the penthouse after I donked off $100 in craps where Derek and Iggy were drinking heavily. We headed down to the poker room around 4am and played for three hours. Alan, Travis, Iggy, Jaxia, Derek, Human Head, an Mrs. Head were all at the same table. Iggy was super drunk and kept dropping f-bombs. Three of the other guys were total fish and they had no clue what we were doing capping bets preflop with drunk and straddling non-stop. It was like that scene in Rounders when they went to the Taj.

Travis is one crazy fuckin' Canuck! He took down a monster pot when he caught a boat with the Hammer and cracked K-K. Jaxia took down a nice pot with J-9 and I ended up nicknaming that hand the "Jaxia." Travis also cracked my Hiltons with 4-7o after he played his entire hand blind. Iggy got one guy on tilt when he smoked a cigarette and played his hand blind from the rail. Iggy had the dealer raise the hand everytime. Here's the fucked up thing... the guy he played against mucked his hand on the river! We never got to see Iggy's hand.

That guy was a tool and Derek kept making fun of him because he kept trying to stare us down and intimidate us. He went on mega tilt and gave the rest of his chips to Jaxia. She declared that she was going to play her hand blind but showed me her hand without looking. It was Kc-9c. Not too bad for a blind straddle. She was heads up with the tilt-ish guy. The flop: K-J-9. Man, she flopped two pair. She bet out, he raised, and they went back and forth. At one point Jaxia thought about just calling but she kept raising. On the turn he was all in and he had absolutely nothing... Qs-5s. He had no draws. Nothing but Queen high. Jaxia flipped over K-9 and took down the monster pot with two pair. He stormed off and we all mocked the dude as Jaxia stacked up her chips.

F Train arrived with SoxLover around 6am. FTrain won the 11pm Sahara tourney, which meant two blogger wins inside of 12 hours. (Biggestron would win the 11am a few hours later). F Train was stuck over a grand, but the win unstuck him. Unreal. Great job, douche bag!

Jaxia and I left to crash around 7am. Mrs. Head left too. Derek, Travis, Iggy, Alan, and Human Head stuck around until Iggy got kicked out of the poker room for too many f-bombs. They headed downstairs to the bar and Mrs. Head couldn't sleep so she joined them for drinks. They wanted to wake me up, which I kinda wished they did. Since it was technically Monday morning, Derek got to see all the bloggers on their way to the airport. They had to walk by the Geisha bar on their way to check out. He drank with StB and the Heads got to say good-bye to everyone. Next time, I'm making sure I pull the allnighter on the last day.

As I reread this entry, I realized how bland it was. I had to leave out a ton of stuff for obvious reasons. Again, you'll have to eventually buy my Las Vegas book if you want to hear about the sordid tales of last Sunday night in Las Vegas. I think Human Head summed up best when we stood up on the terrace of Derek's room and looked out over the Strip with me and his wife. It got quiet for a moment and he asked me, "Does all the partying that me and Mrs. Head did with you over the course of the weekend qualify us for a merit badge in degeneracy?"

"You're officially big dogs," I replied. "You can piss in the tall weeds with me any day."

They just smiled and we enjoyed the moment in silence. The fourth and final day of a 100 hour bender was complete. This chapter finally ended.

I had one of the roughest weeks of all time as I approached the end of one of the most amazing years in the 3.3 decades I've been on this big blue rock flying through space. Las Vegas is a city built on escapism. At this point of my life, it was necessary that I lose myself in the warmth, kindness, generosity, and genuineness of people who I consider some of the best friends I have ever had. Some folks just don't get it. And that's fine. It makes the relationships and experiences that I have with so many of you feel much more special. One individual even went as far to confide in me that they thought we were soulmates. That's the kind of conversations that make you choke up inside.

We're connected on so many levels that it's frightening. When civilians asked me what I was doing in Vegas, I didn't mention that I was in town to hang out with poker bloggers. I proudly said that I was in Vegas to hang out with my friends. At the same time everyone's wry senses of humor and nefarious addictions were more than enough to keep me inspired for the next seven years. You guys and girls keep staying cool and being yourselves, and I'll keep on writing about it all.

.... to be continued
posted by Pauly at 12/19/2005 01:28:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Jaxia Hiatt Interviews

By the way, CJ was kind enough to host a mini-movie that I shot on my digital camera & edited featuring a few interviews with "Jaxia Hiatt" at the final table at the Holiday Classic. Thanks again CJ!! The sound quality is not the best and I wish I could have had everyone's bust out interview. Alas, I spliced together the best footage that I got featuring CJ, Wil, -EV, Gracie, and Studio Glyphic. You can download/view it.... here.

Make sure you watch it twice and pay attention to the Jaxia/Gracie scene, specifically look at the two bartenders in the background. What the fuck were they doing?
posted by Pauly at 12/19/2005 12:22:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Daddy's Interview, Meet the Heads, and Bobby Bracelet

First of all, I conducted the funniest interview of all fuckin' time with Daddy. It took place last Saturday at the Imperial Palace in the ballroom. If you don't know Daddy slept through the blogger's tournament and we were both obliterated wasted when we did this bit. We also try to squeeze in the phrase "BG is a pussy!" as many time as possible.

Daddy's Donkey Fucker Interview (wav file)

Also, last Sunday night I caught a tender moment with Human Head and his lovely wife. Iggy, Spaceman, and Derek watched the clip looped for thirty minutes straight the other night. It never gets old. You have to check out that clip as well! Loop the fucker and zone out.

Meet the Heads (avi file)

Thanks to Iggy for helping me with the tech stuff. Seriously, these two bits are friggin' classic and is part of the reason I friggin' love all the parties involved.

Moving on...

Bobby Bracelet is in town for business. On Friday I met him at Monte Carlo for a free buffet and we had a nice long talk about what it's like to sell penis pills for a living. Last night, Grubby and I met Bobby Bracelet at the Sahara for their 7pm tournament. Both Biggestron and F Train won those this past weekend and we were looking to make the money. We all had a last longer bet and swapped 10% of each other. The results? Out of 150 players, Grubby went out in 80th, I was out in 55th, and Bobby Bracelet was out in 47th.

I had 10K and ran into K-K with 10-10 and got crippled. I also folded quads an orbit before. The shotstack moved all-in UTG, the loose guy at the table took five minutes to make a decision and ended up moving all-in. I had them both covered. I told myself if loose guy folded, then I call. Well he called and I mucked 9-9. Loose guy showed 8-8 and I said, "I had you beat!" The guy UTG showed Hiltons. It was the proper fold. I told everyone that I mucked two red nines. The flop was 9s-9c-x and the entire table let out a huge scream. My head dropped and I muttered several expletives under my breath. I got up and ran over to Bobby and Grubby's table to tell them what happened. I would have had almost 20K if I made that call. Sweet fuckin' Jesus.

We ate a late night dinner at Ellis Island then played Pai Gow at the Orleans for four hours until they closed the table. We told one dealer that the reason we called Bobby Bracelet, "Bobby Bracelet" is because he won a bracelet this year. He bought it and Bobby hammed it up.

If Grubby, Bobby and I weren't down $5K combined since last weekend, we would have gone to a strip club. Alas, we had to settle for watered down drinks at the Orleans. At least we got to see Johnny Fuckin' Chan playing slots. That was weird.

More trip reports coming soon. For now, enjoy the short movie clip and Daddy's interview.
posted by Pauly at 12/18/2005 01:21:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Bellagio Five Diamond Photos


Rehne Pedersen WPT Bellagio Five Diamond Champion


BJ and Courtney Friel


Phil Laak behind in the hand


Bellagio girls


The final hand
posted by Pauly at 12/17/2005 04:20:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Bellagio Five Diamond Poker Classic - Final Table

History is going to be made tonight here at the Fontana Room at the Bellagio Casino in Las Vegas where the final table of the latest World Poker Tour event is taking place. Tonight is the final table of the Five Diamond Poker Classic main event. The buy-in was $15,000 and 555 players entered on Monday. Five days later, we're down to six players including the legendary Doyle Brunson, the always entertaining Phil Laak, Joanne "J.J." Liu, the best player in Europe in Patrik Antonius, Darrel Dicken, and Rehne Pedersen of Denmark. Tickets were in such high demand that rumors circulated that people were scapling seats for over $1K. I never got so many requests for tickets. That's what happens when you have the Unabomber and Doyle Brunson at the final table. Plus Joanne Liu has a shot at being the first female to ever win a WPT event.

When the players were intoduced, the biggest applause was for Texas Dolly himself. It was like watching Babe Ruth walk onto the field at Yankee Stadium. After all, the Bellagio is Doyle's home casino. His big game is held in Bobby's Room over near the poker room.

I got Phil Laak in a prop bet with BJ from Card Player. He has Doyle Brunson. Earlier ths year, Brunson's good friend Johnny Chan took Phil Laak down in heads up play en route to his tenth bracelet. In the unofficial media pool, Heather has Patrik Antonius, BJ has Texas Dolly, and I got Phil Laak.

Here are today's payouts:

1. $2,078,185
2. $1,046,470
3. $563,485
4. $362,140
5. $241,495
6. $160,995

Here's the final table seating including chip counts (courtesy of Poker Wire):

Seat 1: Darrell Dicken $3.510M
Seat 2: Patrick Antonius $1.755M
Seat 3: Rehne Pedersen $3.225M
Seat 4: Joanne "J.J." Liu $3.63M = chipleader
Seat 5: Phil "The Unabomber" Laak $2.505M
Seat 6: Doyle Brunson $2.025M

***** Live Blogging Updates *****

7:23pm... Cards are in the air!

7:25pm... No Jen Tilly sightngs.

7:30pm... During the first orbit Joanne Liu moves all in over the top of Phil Laak. He quickly folded and offered Liu $4 to see her hand. Liu told him that he needed to wait to see it on TV.

8:00pm... The action has been slow during the first 14 hands. Phil Laak has been chatting up the table. Patrik Antonius moved all in on Doyle on one hand and Texas Dolly folded.

8:05pm.... Courtney Friel was tickling BJ in media row. Lucky fucker.

8:11pm.... Recent chipcounts from Linda Johnson say that Doyle is the short stack with $1M and Joanne is still the chipleader with over $4M.

8:18pm... There are plenty of big time pros in the audience including Billy Baxter, Marcel Luske, Chau Giang, Todd Brunson, Joe Hachem, and Marco Traniello.

8:28pm... Patrik Antonius took down two big pots. One was over 900K and the other was over $1.5M.

8:45pm... Recent Elimination: Phil Laak was just knocked out by Patrik Antonius. He ran into Patrik's A-A. Patrik raised and Laak moved all in with K-3o. Patrik quickly called and his hand held up despite Laak flopping a pair and turning a gutshot straight draw. Phil Laak finished in 6th place and won $160,995. I lost both prop bets with BJ. Antonius now has over $6M and is the chipleader.

8:53pm... Texas Dolly just doubled up against Darell Dicken. Brunson moved all in with A-K and Dicken called with A-J. Brunson's Big Slick held up.

9:05pm... Here's an updated chip count:

1 Patrik Antonius $5.7M
2 Joanne "J.J." Liu $ 4.2M
3 Doyle Brunson $3M
4 Rehne Pedersen $2.15M
5 Darrell Dicken $1.5M

9:35pm... Darrell Dicken doubled up against Rehne Pedersen. Dicken had J-10 and Pederson had A-Q. Dicken flopped a ten and his hand held up.

9:53pm... Here's an updated chip count:

1 Patrik Antonius $ 6M
2 Joanne Liu $ 4.3M
3 Doyle Brunson $ 2.3M
4 Darrell Dicken $ 2.05M
5 Rehne Pedersen $ 1.1M

10:00pm... Rehne Pedersen doubled up against Darrell Dicken who was just crippled to less than 800K. Dicken had Q-J and Pedersen had A-J and flopped an ace.

10:25pm... It was almost 1:40 minutes since Laak had been busted when Darrell Dicken was eliminated. His 4-4 lost a race to Patrik Antonius' A-J when Antonius flopped a Jack. Dicken won $241,495 for 5th place.

10:35pm... Joanne Liu won a pot with A-J. She flopped an ace and checked the flop. Patrik Antonius bluffed at the pot on the river when he bet out $1M with 2-4o and absoultely nothing. Liu picked up a big pot.

10:40pm... Patrik has over $8M, Liu has $5M, Rehne has $2M and Doyle has $1.5M.

10:46pm... Rehne Pedersen doubled up against Joanne Liu. He had been playing tight all night long when he moved all in with K-K. Liu called with 4-4 and her hand did not improve.

11:07pm... Doyle Brunson 1, Patrik Antonius 0. On a flop of 8-4-2, Brunson moved all in. Antonius called with 9-9. Brunson paired his kicker on the turn, but that gave Antonius a flush draw. The river didn't help Antonius and Brunson's two pair held up. He doubled up and had almost $5M in chips.

11:27pm... Heather from Poker Wire turned to me and said, "My ass is starting to hurt."

11:31pm... Almost dead even. Here's an updated chip count:

1 Doyle Brunson $4.5M
2 Joanne 'J.J.' Liu $4M
3 Patrik Antonius $4M
4 Rehne Pedersen $3.5M

12:01am... New level. Blinds are $150K/$300K with $30K antes.

12:20am... Rehne Pederesen moved all-in with 2-2 and Doyle Brunson called with 10-10. His hand held up and Texas Dolly doubled up.

12:24am... Recent Elimination: Joanne Liu moved all in with A-3. She was up against Patrik Antonius' A-10s. Her hand did not improve and she was eliminated in 4th place. She won $362,140.

12:33am... Doyle Brunson took over the chip lead after his 3-3 held up against Patrik Antonius' A-2. He rivered a full house to cripple the young Antonius. Here's the chip count:

1 Doyle Brunson $8.9M
2 Patrik Antonius $4.3M
3 Rehne Pedersen $3.5M

12:28am... Doyle Brunson and his A-7 doubled up Rehne Pedersen when his 2-2 held up.

12:44am... More stars in the audience including Jen Harman, Johnny Fuckin' Chan and Tom McEvoy.

12:53am... Back by popular demand!

Last 5 Pros I Took a Piss Next To:
1. Mike Sexton
2. Patrik Antonius
3. Gavin Smith
4. Phil Laak
5. Allen Cunningham

1:00am... Doyle Brunson moved all in with A-6 and Patrik Antonius called with A-9. They both flopped and ace but Antonius' hand held up. He doubled up against Texas Dolly.

1:04am... Doyle Brunson moved all in with K-J and Rehne Pedersen quickly called with K-K. On the turn, Doyle picked up an open ended straight draw but he didn't improve on the river. Doyle Brunson was elimianted in 3rd place. He won $563,485.

1:08am... We're heads up. Rehne Pedersen has $9.39M to Patrik Antonius $8.27M. It's the battle of Northern Europe with Pedersen representing Denmark and Antonius representing Finland.

1:22am... During the money presentation one of the Bellagio girls dropped some of the cash off her tray and landed right in front of Flipchip and me. They had to do a second take. Gus Hansen made a rare appearance in the Fontana Room.

1:35am... Blinds are $200K/$400K wih $40K antes. That means $680K is in the pot before any players act. Patrik Antonius has already moved all in twice and Pedersen folded both times.

1:42am... Rehne Pedersen moved into the chiplead 10M to 7M when he took down a pot on the flop.

2:07am... Both players were all in pre-flop. Patrik Antonius had As-Ks and Rehne Pedersen showed Ad-4d. The flop was 5-6-7 and Pedersen caught an amazing board. The turn was a 3s and he turned a straight, but that gave Antonius a flush draw. It didn't hit and Antonius was crippled.

2:10am... With just $150K left, Antonius was all-in with Ks-7s. Pedersen had 8-8 and his hand held up. Pedersen won $2,078,185 and a $25K seat in the WPT Championships in April. Antonius won $1,046,470 for second place.

2:15am... That's it from the Bellagio. This concludes one helluva 2005 and marks the last tournament that I'll cover this year. Signing off from Las Vegas!
posted by Pauly at 12/16/2005 09:50:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Bellagio Pauly

I've been at the Bellagio all week covering the Five Diamond Classic main evet, which will be taped for the upcoming season of the WPT. I have been posting updates and pictures over at Las Vegas and Poker Blog. Take a peek. I'll be doing some live blogging of the final table here at the Tao of Poker starting at 7pm Vegas time or 10pm EST on Friday. The final table should be frigging exciting and features both Texas Dolly himself and The Unabomber. See you on Friday night!

Back by popular demand.....

Last 5 Pros I Took a Piss Next To:
1. Doyle Brunson
2. Barry Greenstien
3. Barny Boatman
4. James Van Alstyne
5. John Gale

Moving on...

Derek left on Thursday night after a week in Vegas. The last few days we've been hanging out with Grubby, Bobby Bracelet, The Heads, and The Spacemans. Iggy stuck around for an extra day two. This afternoon, I snuck out of work and played at the Wynn with Derek. It was his first time there and he dug the place. Some old lady got me on tilt for at least an hour. Inside of two hours she was up 133 BB... at a limit table!! She was one of the worst players I've ever seen and raised everything to the river. I also saw Tomer Benvenisti wandering through the poker room. And according to Derek, the Wynn has some of the hotest cocktail servers on the Strip. Indeed. There was some quality talent serving me SoCo, bottled water, and hot chocolate. Yeah, I have to thank Jaxia for getting me hooked on hot cocoa after watching her consume 43 at the tables this weekend.

On Wednesday night, I played in the 11pm Sahara tournament, the one that F Train won on Sunday night. I got my aces cracked by K-Q by an assclown. After a raise (UTG) and a 5x reraise (my A-A), he moved all in over the top of both of us with Kournikova. That was a Tiffany Williams-like move. And he flopped a straight too. Fucktard. I did a rebuy and moved all in with A-K only to get sucked out on by A-J.

By the way, I'm slowly starting to read trip reports from my favorite bloggers who came to Las Vegas last weekend. Some good stuff out there. This group picture makes me smile and I must look at in once every hour in order to keep from going insane. I had such an amazing time last weekend that I'm going through some serious waves of depression. I miss all of you. Even Joaquin. Just kidding, dog!

I'll be posting Parts 3 and 4 of my trip report this weekend, well by Monday the latest.
posted by Pauly at 12/15/2005 11:45:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Bloggers in Wonderland Part 2: The Five Boobs and Champion Glyphic

"As long as you are as smarter than a retarded ape, then you'll do fine." - Human Head

My head throbbed. A bitter migraine was my souvenir for the wicked hangover that consumed me for most of Saturday. My half-opened eyes burned from the early morning Nevada sun that sizzled threw a small crack in the blinds. When Jen Leo called, I frantically searched for my phone and found it buried in one of Jaxia's sneakers. Jen Leo wanted to have breakfast and she had great news... she was going to be playing in the blogger's tournament. Wearing only my boxers and a Vermont hockey t-shirt, I staggered down the hall to my brother's room avoiding the sneers from the maid with sticky fingers who never bothered to clean my room later that day. I banged on the door and woke Derek up. I think he was passed out in his clothes. We eventually made our way downstairs to the Emperor's buffet. It wasn't that bad. Derek didn't like the pancakes, but in honor of Daddy I ate a plate full of bacon and lathered a few biscuits in heavy butter and syrup.

I called both Daddy and Grubby to make sure they were both up. Grubby answered and Daddy didn't. We figured Daddy was passed out in a drunk tank somewhere after a fracas with a bunch of frat boys in the Geisha bar or holed up in a bacon binge with a couple of cowboys from Montana. I was about to call Iggy when he stumbled inside. When we walked into the ballroom, there was a huge line of bloggers waiting to sign up for the tournament. The room was impressive and normally reserved for special occasions like weddings and Big Lebowski conventions.

"It felt special to be playing in a private tournament." That's what I wrote in my notes. Jaxia was particularly excited, as were the bloggers who were experiencing this for the first time.

Ten tables were spread out in the center of the room and a podium sat in the back where the guest speakers would be talking. At the last second, Linda Geenen got Barry Greenstien to speak for a few moments. He looked tired after an all night poker session.

I walked to the back of the line and said hello to some familiar faces and tried to figure out who the people I didn't know were. Slayre stopped me and we spoke for a few minutes. He even asked for a picture! He thanked for me for some advice I sent him almost a year ago. He also wanted to meet Derek. During one of the HORSE tourneys, Derek helped him with Razz.

Falstaff wore a kilt. I tried to take pictures to figure out if he was free-balling or not. Regardless, it took balls to wear a kilt. More power to the dude! Everytime I turned around and saw StB, he was drinking a beer. In fact, aside from the time we went to McDonald's the morning of the Boathouse Bash, I have never seen StB without a beer.

The registration line slowly moved and Barry started speaking. He talked about how cool blogs were and how he was affected by Charlie Tuttle. I would leave the line and take random pictures of the crowd and Charlie. I got goosebumps. Last December's keynote speaker Charlie Shoten lectured for a while along with author Michael Craig who was introduced by Amy Calistri. Derek was engrossed in a lengthy conversation with Joe Sebok. He's got a blog you know and also writes for Card Player.

I chatted for a bit with Mr. Subliminal. He spoke about being homeless in Las Vegas. He uses the library to update his blog. Easy Cure is one funny guy. I barely got to hang out with him in June and felt the same thing about this time. Hung out with him and his wife while standing in line. Spoke to Royal for a little bit too. I was pretty excited that he was coming.

I finally got to sign up and picked up some free stuff thanks to Poker Stars. I chatted with Nolan Dalla for a bit about the expanding blogging community. Once you sign up, you got a grey wristband which entitled you free drinks until 7pm. It was not even noon which meant seven hours of booze. Lots of it. The greasy buffet helped make the hangover manageable, but the beers and shots of SoCo really did the trick.

All the cool kids (aka smokers) hung out in the hallway and chainsmoked like Death Row inmates while random people from the IP poker room wandered in and out trying to figure out what was going on. I hung out with Mean Gene in the hallway and got to shoot the shit with him. I had been waiting over a year to meet him.

Originally I was supposed to play on a team with FTrain and Joaquin for a team last longer bet. Derek had a team with Spaceman and JoeSpeaker. I got squeezed out of my team after my grandmother died. Heather was teamless so we agreed to team up. We needed a third. A darkhorse. That's when I suggested Mrs. HDouble. She can get anyone on tilt. It was the most logical choice. CJ suggested a team name for us... "The Five Boobs."

Everyone had to pick up their seat assignments and pulled cards out of a bingo cage. Here was my table:

Seat 1: BadBlood
Seat 2: Mike
Seat 3: Gus
Seat 4: HDouble
Seat 5: Shane Nickerson
Seat 6: April
Seat 7: SoxLover
Seat 8: Travis
Seat 9: Pauly
Seat 10: factgirl

Like last time, I was seated next to someone I never met before. In June it was Tanya. Our time at the table became the basis of a cool friendship. We ended up hanging out a lot during the WSOP when she'd come up to play in various events or satellites. Plus she was one of the first bloggers to back me in the $1500 WSOP event. This time it was Franklin's wife factgirl. Not only was she cool but she had tons of awesome stories to share.

I bought two small airport bottles of SoCo in the "Whiskey Run" gift shop downstairs. I was using to use them as card cappers. I kept taunting Shane Nickerson, "I loved you in Toy Soldiers. I almost cried when you died."

He was a good sport about it. I think he was just hungover. I told him that we'd do shots as soon as I busted him. Instead, I rolled one of my bottles down to him and we ended up downing shots at the table. Speaking of shots, Tanya was sitting right behind me at another table. She kept ordering Kamikaze shots. Good Lord. By the time the first hand was dealt, I was shitfaced.

I did what I could and ran around snapping different photos of different tables. I saw that Derek and Jaxia were at the same table as The Rooster, Spaceman, Easy Cure, Mike Villa, Wampler, Poker Nerd, Chadarama, and Linda.

The tournament structure was pretty good. $65 buy-in. Top 10 places paid (or the final table) with 35% going to first place, 18% for 2nd, 12.5% for 3rd, 10% for 4th, 8% for 5th, 5% for 6th, 4% for 7th, 3% for 8th, 2% for 9th, and 1% for 10th. Poker Stars added $2K to the prize pool, so it was even fatter. The IP took only a small juice which was great compared to the Aladdin last year when Edna pocketed more than she said she would. The blind structure was fairly good as well. We all started with $2500 in chips. Blinds were 20 minutes long and blinds started out at 25/50.

Here are some random notes that I took:

12:15pm... I was giving away a copy of Gigli to the first player busted. Previous winner's have been the Poker Nerd and Bill. This time it was Tanya! She moved all in with A-Q and lost to Iggy's A-K.

12:16pm... Spaceman moved all in with K-K. Joaquin had A-A and they held up. Spaceman missed Gigli by one spot. Linda folded J-J and someone else at that table had 9-9. Jaxia had 4-4 ad would have flopped a set. Live poker is so rigged.

12:34pm... Heather's K-K doubled up against Mrs. Colombo's Hilton Sisters.

12:40pm... Chris Newton from Poker Pages was moved to my table as an alternate.

1:05pm... At the break I had 2575 and stayed out of pots. Mrs. HDouble went out and it looked like the Five Boobs was not going to go far unless Heather and I finished one and two.

1:07pm... I gave Falstaff shit for using the men's room with a kilt. "Skirts are only allowed in the Ladies room!" I shouted.

1:15pm... I was changed to another table nearby with three G-Vegas residents and two locals!

Seat 1: Mr. Subliminal
Seat 2: Colombo
Seat 3: Pauly
Seat 4: ShepSmith
Seat 5: ?
Seat 6: ?
Seat 7: GRob
Seat 8: Shyam
Seat 9: The Mark
Seat 10: Grubby

1:21pm... During an interview with Colombo, our table was broken up. Here's my new table:

Seat 1: Pauly
Seat 2: Alan
Seat 3: Absinthe
Seat 4: JenLeo
Seat 5: Amy Calistri
Seat 6: ? then Wampler
Seat 7: Weak Player then Joanne
Seat 8: The Deer Hunter (aka Mean Gene's brother)
Seat 9: Russ Fox
Seat 10: JDubs

1:32pm... Daddy eventually showed up later missing part of the tournament. Lazy fuck couldn't sober up in time to make it to the ballroom. When I introduced Daddy to Mrs. HDouble she said, "He's kinda cute for a donkey fucker."

1:48pm... Alan's hammer lost to Russ Fox's K-K. Russ began to run over the table after that.

1:51pm... Jen Leo went from one chip to amassing a big stack. Amy Calistri's Hiltons lost to Jen's K-J.

2:20pm... At the second break I was up to 2900 but way below the average with 4 tables remaining. The Soco killed whatever headache I had.

2:23pm... Joanne and Wampler were moved to my table.

2:27pm... Derek was knocked out when his AJ ran into StB's A-Q.

2:32pm... Jen Leo was busted when her A-Q lost to Joanne's K-10.

2:45pm... I was sent to the rail by Wampler when I moved all in with A-J and a short stack. I knew I was in troubled when Wampler quickly called with K-K. I took 38th place out of 107.

At that point, I hung out and talked to Wil for a little bit in the corner and drank more booze. I was getting pretty wasted at that point and the rest of the tourney was a blur. I remember talking to Donkey Puncher about strip clubs for a bit. I needed more food and headed to the Burger Joint near the sports book. I ate with Derek, Travis, Jaxia, CaliforniaApril, and Shelly. More bacon for me with curly fries. Actually the forgot the bacon and we had to get them to give us more. I hate having to send back food at a fast food place, but hey, they fucked up. Missing bacon on a bacon double cheeseburger is a major fuck up in my eyes.

We headed back to the tourney and the open bar. At that point two tables remained. I forgot who bubbled out. But here's the final 10:

10th: Pablo
9th: -EV
8th: Wampler
7th: DonkeyHunter
6th: Obie
5th: Max
4th: Cujo
3rd: Chris "The Barracuda" Newton
2nd: Gracie
1st: Studio Glyphic

Gracie caught aces like 23 times at the final table. Unreal. CJ and I were doing bustout interviews with the money winners featuring Jaxia Hiatt. The video quality is good, but the sound is awful. I'll try to fix that and post something later.

Congrats to Studio Glyphic for his victory! He won a bottle of Romulan Ale courtesy of Gracie.

We didn't think the shootout would start so fast and went up to Derek's room to party. We had a few random folks in there and found out that Royal and Spaceman chopped! It lasted about ten minutes. We decided to stick around and kept on boozing it up. Mostly everyone enjoyed the nice view of the Mirage in the background. I forgot who was there but at some point Heather, Joanne, Travis, Gracie, Pablo, Maudie, Jaxia, Poker Prof, Grubby, Colombo, the Heads, Spaceman, TrumpJosh, Change100 and Joaquin were all hanging out.

Probably the most embarrassing moment (well there were like forty of those) of the night was when I was in the corner with Jaxia acting like a blathering idiot. I was commenting on how soft her hands were. She has really soft skin. All of a sudden I look up and Grubby is taunting me a sarcastic chant of, "You're so soft! You're so soft."

It was a phrase I couldn't get out of my head all weekend.

Have Fun Storming the Castle

I got a text message from Wil that they were going to storm the Castle. So I got the troops together and headed to the monorail. I had a group of about 10-20 with me. My math always gets fuzzy when my BAC peaks over the legal limit.

I was too wasted for poker so I suggested Pai Gow. I got on a table with a bunch of bloggers after I gave Jaxia a quick tutorial. I staked her and she ended up winning $8 over 5 hours. Here was our table:

Seat 1: Ephro then Drizz
Seat 2: Heather then Joaquin
Seat 3: F Train
Seat 4: Pauly
Seat 5: Grubby
Seat 6: Jaxia

We had both the Human Head and Mrs. Head sweat us along with Mr. and Mrs. Spaceman. At somepoint, Joe Speaker stopped by and I met the lovely Mrs. Speaker. She did the whole, "Oh my God! You're Pauly! Joe talks about you all the time." And once again she fell into the stereotype of blogger wives... everyone married way way over their heads. Mrs. Speaker was no exception. Man, I guess this gives me hope. I'm due for a hot wife unless I break tradition. We spoke for a bit while I was getting cold decked by Remy our not-so-friendly Pai Gow dealer.

I'd take frequent walks and see how Derek was doing in the poker room and watch The Heads play Let It Ride where Mrs. Head was blowing her Phil Gordon Roshambo winnings. The Pai Gow tables were not so nice to me and Grubby and Jaxia would both punch me in the arm everytime I'd yell out, "You're so soft!"

Anyway, I was a little more sober and decided to sit down at a $2-6 int he poker room. I was seated with Brian and Jaxia. The table next to us featured all bloggers and Michael Craig. We had a few cowboys and two frat boys at our table I got one on tilt and Jaxia got the other on tilt. I think it was her infectious smile. As Bad Blood said, "Just looking at Jaxia, I get on tilt."

Everyone was betting on wheel spins and even the dealer at Derek's table was running prop bets with him. I finally got to spin the wheel for the first time since March. Considering how much I played there in the last nine months, that stat is staggering. Aces held up every single time too. I caught quad Kings. I flopped a set and rivered the quads. Chris the dealer knew it right away. I tipped him pretty good and ended up giving him almost half what I won on the Wheel. Drizz was screaming from the other side of the room everytime the wheel spun. At one point, inside of thirty minutes, the wheel was going constantly. Grubby and I would run over to each other's table and pay each other off. I would wander over to Otis' table and take some of his hard earned money. I was even doing bets with Jaxia at my table.

Easy Cure's wife hit a straight flush in Pai Gow! She tookd own $625. Unreal. They showed me the $500 chip too.

The last two hours were a blur. I lost time. I somehow got in a cab and arrived safely at the IP with Derek and Jaxia. I didn't pass out like Change100 and wake up only to find myself in the backseat of a cab with two hookers. I do recall driving down the strip in the cab and the lights were a psychedelic splashing of colors and images.

There's like 35 stories I can't even talk about. Most of them happened Saturday night and maybe I'll squeeze it into my Vegas book, if you are lucky. However, I managed to party like John Bonham until sunrise for a third consecutive day in Las Vegas. That's nowhere near a personal record, but under the circumstances with the lunacy of the people and bloggers involved, I think it was a stellar performance. It's like dropping 50 points in a hoops game three times in a row, or hitting grandslams in three straight games, or scoring a hat trick in hockey for three consecutive nights.

My mind operated on single digit brain cells for most of the weekend, and I'm still feeling the effects of day three of the four day intense bender. My bankroll was somewhat depleted. My liver was swiss cheese. My bones ached. Almost an hour after the bright blinking lights of the Las Vegas strip faded into the Sunday morning sunlight, my eyes closed for the first time in almost twenty-two hours as I muttered the catch phrase of the night, "You're so soft."

Here's the group photo courtesy of Poker Source Online.

...to be continued. Part 3 coming soon.
posted by Pauly at 12/14/2005 04:20:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Bloggers in Wonderland Part 1: Midnight Riders

"That was the gambling highlight of my life." - Joe Speaker

At this point of my life, all my Las Vegas adventures are slowly morphing into one large sticky conglomerate of memorable flashbacks. I've spent so much time in Vegas this year that it's hard for me to pick out specific memories and riff about them. Maybe that's why I've had a difficult time finishing my Las Vegas book. My mind has become a desert mirage to me. Las Vegas has overwhelmed all my senses and I'm floating back and forth between absorbing horrible bad beats at the tables by loose-mornonic tourists and slinging drunken slurs at casino bars with random bloggers while brushing off the advances of medium priced call girls with names like Chantel and Millicent. I often wondered if the past twelve months of my life have been a wild dream. Even the most creative vein in my body would never be able to conjure such a magical journey that I've undertaken. I'm afraid that I'm going to wake up one day and discover that I was taking a nap during one of my lunch breaks on Wall Street... only to wake up still wearing a dark grey pinstripe a suit and pitching pharmaceutical stocks to Northern New Jersey suburbanites and Upper East side yuppies and sad to find out that my life is just a day dream.

Alas, my mind is fried after a four day bender in Las Vegas with some old friends and plenty of new ones. I was so far bent that I missed a day of work. I thought Tuesday was the first day of the Bellagio WPT event. Nope. It was Monday and I had no clue. You lose all concept of time in Las Vegas. So, I will do my best to describe the last few days and unravel all those joyous memories of the second annual Holiday Classic in Las Vegas with over 100 of your favorite poker bloggers.

Thursday

Derek and I discovered that F Train was on our flight from JFK to Las Vegas. We changed our flights at the last minute after I had to go home to NYC for my grandmother's funeral. I didn't get any sleep he week leading up to the blogger event. Sure I was fatigued, but I knew I wouldn't get any sleep on the flight after I got stuck in the last row by the bathrooms. The only good thing was being able to shoot the shit with the JetBlue flight attendants. One of them has worked my last four flights to/from Las Vegas. She knows my drink order and gives me extra snacks. I watched The OC and a VH1 Classic documentary on AC/DC and a special on the 25th anniversary of the death of John Lennon, while I eagerly awaited the touchdown of my flight from NYC.

Iggy and Grubby picked us up at the airport. They drove us to the Imperial Palace. I've never stayed in the IP before. I've often described it as "ghetto" and a downtown style casino for a center strip property. It's really not that bad, except for the fact it's one tough maze to navigate. I've been there for a few days already and I still get lost.

At the check-in desk, I slipped the clerk a $100 bill to make sure Derek got a good room. I actually had two rooms. One for 11 days (since I'd be covering the WPT Bellagio event) and the other one for 4 days that Derek would stay in when Jaxia arrived on Friday. The rooms were decent (renovated... which made me wonder what the unrenovated rooms looked like) and we got strip views with a balcony. We checked in and headed to the Excalibur. I head that mostly everyone in Vegas was at the MGM poker room and ready to migrate to the Castle once they got word that Derek and I arrived in Sin City.

As I walked into the poker room, Otis was the first one I saw. He ran up and gave me a big hug. He had been on a bad run since he arrived in Vegas and missed the money in a MGM tourney a few hours earlier. Otis said something in his Ozark/G-Vegas drawl like, "This was the happiest moment I've had all day. Great to see you buddy."

Otis has a man crush on me and is too stubborn to admit it. That's OK. I still like busting his balls about it.

I was seated at Dr. Jeff's $2-6 table along with Derek. Here was the lineup that kept changing all night long:

Seat 1: Travis
Seat 2: Pauly
Seat 3: Gracie then Iggy
Seat 4: Derek
Seat 5: Ryan
Seat 6: GRob
Seat 7: Dr. Jeff
Seat 8: Gamecock
Seat 9: Obie

I can't recall the hands and I took very few notes. I wanted to let everything soak in and enjoy every second of playing with some of my favorite bloggers. I kept giving Gamecock shit. Everytime he raised a pot, I asked the dealer to check his ID. I scanned the room and found everyone who was playing. Grubby sat at a table with on_thg, Iggy, BG, Maudie, and Sox Lover, who I finally met for the first time. Bad Blood, Drizz, Joe Speaker, Chadarama all played at the same NL table in the corner. There's an embarrassing story about me walking up to the table that I'm sure Joe Speaker will write about. Needless to say, it felt good to stroll through the poker room and see so many familiar faces. After one of the toughest weeks that I had all year, it felt great to finally be amongst friends and kick back and have a few laughs and several drinks.

Drizz was shithoused drunk. It was his birthday after all. It was great to see him having such a good time.

Joanne finally arrived with a soused EvaCanHang. She had been pounding drinks in the AlCantHang suite with his entourage. I finally met Joanne and her husband for the first time. I also spotted both Aprils, Heather, Lewey, CJ, DrChacko, Chilly, Pablo, Marty, BigMike, Brian, Bill Rini, TeamScottSmith, The Mark, ShepSmith and a few others that I can't remember at this point. Everyone was pumped that Derek and I made it.

I was in Las Vegas for less than three hours before I heard the first Lewey badbeat story. He cracked Aces twice at the MGM, once with pocket tens and the other time with J-6. Finally, someone else feels my pain. A few hours after I first met Lewey 18 months ago, he cracked my Kings and put me on tilt for three weeks after that vicious beat.

Well we played at the Excalibur until 5am after donking off a few chips and winning a few prop bets with Grubby after betting on wheel spins. When we got back to the IP, I spotted a few of the LA guys playing blackjack with BG. Ephro, Absinthe, and HDouble were playing -EV games just before sun up. I tried to write a bit, but I was too tired. I passed out with the sun slowly creeping over the mountains.

Friday

I woke up when Daddy called to tell me that "the donkey fucker had officially arrived in Las Vegas." Derek and I went downstairs and awaited Jaxia's arrival. We stopped off at the poker room and hung out with Joanne while we watched a few other bloggers play. That's when I ran into Peter for the first time. He came all the way from England for the event, which was pretty fuckin cool if you asked me. He took the longest journey and did not know one anyone, therefore I was impressed with his leap of faith. It reminded me of what Maudie did last December when she showed up not knowing a soul and being someone from a completely different background than everyone else. And she fit in perfectly. It also reminded of when Travis came down from Toronto last year without knowing anyone. These folks, along with dozens of others who made the trek this year and last June, came down without meeting anyone and were able to hang out without any problems.

I made my way downstairs and met Jaxia after she came took a taxi from the airport. We met for the first time several weeks ago in Las Vegas and have definitely spent a lot of time getting to know each other in the last few weeks. I think it's the Texas drawl that makes me smile the most, but I'm glad I was able to make it out to see her and everyone else.

Derek, Jaxia, and I headed over to Ferrara's in the Forum Shop at Caesar's Palace for a late lunch/early dinner. It's one of my favorite Italian places in Las Vegas and the desserts are scrumcious. I had the penne vodka with garlic sauteed mushrooms and chunks of marinated chicken. Jaxia had never eaten a canoli before and we made sure she had her first one at Ferrara's.

I bumped into Colombo in the elevator. As soon as he opened his mouth, I knew it was him. I recognized his voice from the Lord Admiral Radio show.

We headed up to the Al Cant Hang penthouse. I met TrumpJosh for the first time. We used to play on Party Poker together many many moons ago and it was cool to meet him or the first time. Very cool dude. He stocked the bar for Al and we did shots of SoCo. Afterwards we met up with Joaquin the Rooster and took the monorail to the MGM. Joaquin did a very cool thing and got the MGM to spread three tables of mixed games... two HORSE and one Razz. I was seated at one of the HORSE tables. Jaxia didn't know how to play O-S-E. I gave her some quick Razz lessons a few weeks ago on Full Tilt and gave her a quick tutorial on the other games. Brandon Schaefer also helped her out with some advice.

Oh, as soon as I walked into the poker room, Chris Moneymaker walked right by me. Did anyone else see him on Friday night?

Here was the lineup:

Seat 1: Derek
Seat 2: Maudie and AlCantHang
Seat 3: Pauly
Seat 4: Jaxia
Seat 5: TrumpJosh and Brandon Schaefer
Seat 6: Peter and Ephro
Seat 7: Poker Prof and Daddy and Spaceman
Seat 8: Gracie
Seat 9: Heather and Travis

In the first hour, I had to do the first rebuy. At least the booze was flowing fast. I flopped sets three times and none of them held up. I ended up donking off about $100. I called Brandon Schaefer and he stopped by. He even got onto our table and virtually gave all his buy-ins away to bloggers and the dealers. He tipped a few of them huge amounts. The MGM dealers loved Brandon. The Poker Nerd sweated me for a while and we got to catch up a bit.

Then I met Mean Gene for the first time. Mean Fuckin' Gene. Are you shitting me? He was one of the original bloggers that I had never met and I finally got that chance.

Eventually Wil Wheaton showed up with special guest Paul Phillips. We all chatted for a few minutes and although Paul said he didn't read too many blogs, he admitted he read mine from time to time. I also spotted Phil Gordon playing 5-5 NL with HDouble. In one of the best stories I heard in a long long time, Rachel aka Mrs. Human Head took our favorite Tiltboy on in a heads up game of Roshambo. Both Joe Speaker and Human Head staked her for $200. With her devastating smile and cat like reflexes, she headed right to Phil Gordon's table. She waved her $200 and offered him a challenge. Phil "Tiltboy" Gordon quickly accepted.

The result was staggering. Rachel Head took down Phil Gordon and walked away $200 richer. The news spread fast through the poker room and Phil Gordon quickly went on tilt in his NL game. I tracked down Mrs. Head at the bar and both Joe Speaker and Human Head filled me in on the details. It was tied 1-1 and she eventually took down Phil. She had paper over rock, rock over scissors, and then Phil Gordon went rock several times in a row, and she got him with paper. I whipped out my recorder and conducted a winner's interview with Mrs. Head at the bar near the sports book. Because she was a little shy and very drunk, she asked me not to post it or hand it over to Lord Admiral. But I'll blog excerpts for you.

"Do you really have the goods?" I asked.

"I had the goods," Mrs. Head answered.

"So how did you do it? Any secret strategy?"

"Woman's intuition," she said.

"What are you going to do with the money? Blow it on craps with Obie?"

"Not craps. Maybe I'll blow it on Let It Ride."

"That was the gambling highlight of my life," admitted Joe Speaker.

"Unbelievable," responded an overwhelmed Mrs. Head.

By the way, Human Head and I decided that we are going to stake Mrs. Head in the Roshambo event at the 2006 WSOP. She's going to represent the bloggers.

I cornered Phil Gordon and got a bust out interview. He was cool enough to give it to me and it was hilarious. I'll be sending that to Sean at Lord Admiral for an upcoming episode of Card Club podcast.

Of course, I have to talk about the infamous junk grabbing incident involving Change100. She's hardcore. She drove all the way from LA and started pounding drinks as soon as she arrived at the MGM. In fact she was getting shots of SoCo and making me do them with her at the poker tables. She was wicked hammered when she came over to me and pinned me against the bar. A semicircle of dumbfounded bloggers stood in awe as she admitted to me wanting to engage in several illicit sex acts with a well-known professional poker player. I guess she was illustrating what she wanted to do and grabbed ahold of my junk. Yes, I felt like Bobby Bracelet after getting my testicles massaged. My junk has been once confirmed and I enjoyed every second of it. Lucky for me, that would not be the first time all weekend I was groped by a female poker blogger.

Late night, Daddy entertained us at the IP with his drunken stories. He kept dropping his cigarette out of his mouth. The dude got plastered at MGM and Spaceman ended up playing out of his stack for over two hours. I'm pretty sure Iggy pissed off our cab driver on the way back from the MGM. He fired up a cigarette without permission.

"This is fuckin' America!" he responded.

The cabbie refused to budge unless he put it out.

I saw the sun rise once again before I fell asleep. That's how you tell the difference between a fun night from a decadent night in Las Vegas. If you see the sun rise and you still have half a bag on, you have reached the depths of Las Vegas depravity. Welcome to my world.

... to be continued. Part 2 includes the blogger tournament. Sorry I never added hyperlinks to everyone's blog. I'm too fuckin' lazy.

posted by Pauly at 12/13/2005 04:20:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Monday Vegas Picture Dump


Night View from my balcony


My view


MGM mixed games... thanks Joaquin!


Brandon Schaefer & Ephro donking off chips


factgirl and my card cappers


Jen Leo & Amy Calistri at my tourney table


Derek & Joe Sebok


Studio Glyphic: 2005 WPBT Holiday Classic Champion


G-Vegas crew


Bad Blood, me, Mean Gene, & Derek


Wendy, me, Wil, Poker Prof, & Annie
posted by Pauly at 12/12/2005 04:20:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Hard Eight for the Boys

I'm in Al Cant Hang's suite and it's 3:03am. I just got back from Casino Royale where I played craps with Jen Leo, Biggestron, Human Head, Mrs. Head, Jaxia, CJ, Travis, Royal, TrumpJosh and myself.

I nailed a hard fuckin' eight for the boys tonight. So did Mrs. Head.

Iggy and Al sat "Hi!" in their drunken stupor.

CJ and Joe Speaker made the final table at the MGM tourney tonight. Joe Speaker took 4th and CJ won it when his KQs beat out AK and JJ. He fuckin rules.

I have too many stories to write right now, but I must say I've had one of the best time in Vegas with all of my friends.

I can't talk about the bubble bath, but I can talk about how cool everyone was this weekend. I took 38th in the blogger tourney and as of now I'm stuck about $1K playing Pai Gow, craps, and poker. Pictures and more post coming soon.
posted by Pauly at 12/12/2005 06:59:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Vegas Day 2: Half-baked Recap

Woke up late. Waited for Jaxia to arrive. Derek, Jax, and I ate at Ferrara's in the Forum Shops at Ceaser's. Saw Al Cant Hang's suite and did shots with Trump JoshTook the monorail with Maudie to MGM where Joaquin arranged mixed games.

My table:

Seat 1: Derek
Seat 2: Maudie and AlCantHang
Seat 3: Pauly
Seat 4: Jaxia
Seat 5: TrumpJosh and Brandon Schaefer
Seat 6: Peter and Ephro
Seat 7: Poker Prof and Daddy and Spaceman
Seat 8: Gracie
Seat 9: Heather and TP

I donked off about $100 in a few hours. Fun times. Derek went from down 94 to up 20 inside of one orbit. I staked Jaxia in her first mixed games. She learned O8, Stud, and Stud 8 very quickly. Poker Nerd sweated me for a while.

Wil Wheaton showed up with Paul Phillips. Phil Gordon was playing 5-5 NL with HDouble and a few Full Tilters. Hung out at the bar and shot the shit with everyone. An unidentified female blogger grabbed my junk. I felt like Bobby Bracelet. Mrs. Head took $200 from Phil Gordon playing Roshambo. Joe Speaker backed her. I got the winner's interview and the loser's interview which I'll share with Sean for Lord Admiral.

Blogger tourney starts very soon. I have Gigli ready.
posted by Pauly at 12/10/2005 12:12:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Vegas Day 1: Half-baked Recap

Here are my notes from my first day in Vegas with the bloggers!

• Derek and I were on the same JetBlue flight with F Train.
• I was in the last row by the bathroom.
• Derek watched Porky's and I watched The OC, college hoops, and Trey Anastasio Band on Jay Leno.
• Iggy and Grubby picked us up at the airport after we arrived at 10:30pm local time.
• We headed to Imperial Palace and I tipped the front desk chick $100 for a room upgrade.
• We got a balcony with a Strip view. I can see the Mirage, Ceaser's and the Bellagio.
• Headed to Excalibur and first saw Otis.
• Played $2-6... here's the lineup:

Seat 1: Travis
Seat 2: Pauly
Seat 3: Gracie then Iggy
Seat 4: Derek
Seat 5: Ryan
Seat 6: GRob
Seat 7: Dr. Jeff
Seat 8: Gamecock
Seat 9: Obie

• I donked off about $80. Grubby played at a table with on_thg, Iggy, BG, Maudie, and Sox Lover.
• Met Joanne and SoxLover for the first time.
• Saw everyone else... both Aprils, Heather, Eva, AlCantHang, Chadarama, Lewey, CJ, BadBlood, Drizz, JoeSpeaker, DrChacko, Chilly, Pablo, Marty, BigMike, Brian, Bill, and others who I am drawing a blank. Sorry if I forgot to mention ya.
• Was in Vegas less than 3 hours before I heard a Lewy bad beat story. He cracked A-A with J-6 at MGM.
  
• Played until 5am and headed back to IP.
• Daddy called from Indiana on his way to the airport.
  
• Saw HDouble, Ephro, and BG playing blackjack.
• Just got up around 1pm. Waiting for Daddy and Jaxia to arrive.
  

posted by Pauly at 12/09/2005 04:20:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Vegas Bound

I would like to take this time to thank everyone both readers and bloggers for all their encouraging words of support and condolences. Both Derek and I appreciate all of your calls, emails, IMs, and text messages over the past few days. It feels good to know that their are a lot of kind souls out there. I'm happy to know all of you. Thanks again.

Derek and I will be in Las Vegas no later than Friday... weather permitting. So I'll see you there. And yes, we will be playing in the tournament. And no, you cannot have our seats.

I will also be at the Bellagio next week with Flipchip covering the main event for the Five Diamond Classic. It's a WPT event and I expect to be live blogging the final table next Friday. Stop by and say hello.

*****

Thanks to the Poker Prof for selecting Tao of Poker as a Silver Prof winner. Tao of Poker has been selected for the second year in a row! Check out the rest of the winners. Thanks to the Prof and everyone who won.

*****

I have a new sponsor: Caribbean Sun Poker. I will speak more about them in a later post. They've been asking me to try out their site and I finally did. I never shill a site I don't play on. I've been playing on CSP (or Sun Poker) the past few weeks and lemme tell you... the players are awful! That's what I like about these newer sites... the players are bad and it's more fish for me to feed on because all the sharks are lurking on other sites. Anyway, for now, I'd like to thank Caribbean Sun Poker for coming aboard, especially to Mark. Stay tuned for more updates.

*****

Grubby recently posted about our trip to Excalibur before I went home to NYC for the funeral. Some old lady took all my money when she rivered quads on me. Unreal. Grubby wrote it up in a post called Schooled by Granny. She got to spin the wheel too. I turned a straight with my 4-7o. She limped with Jacks too. She also got quad Kings when we first sat down. Lucky fuck. We left after our favorite female floor person went home for the day. Thank God for Rodeo Week. She was dressed in tight jeans. Hubba hubba. I can't wait to go back.

*****

I've decided on what I'm going to do with the rest of this year. After the WPT Bellagio event next week, I'm going to play poker for a few days in Las Vegas before I return to NYC for Christmas. I'll spend the last week of the year doing absolutely nothing. No freelance work. Nothing aside from some personal writing and sleep. I need to boost my immune system and after the blogger weekend in Vegas, I know I'm going to be hurting. Plus, I did a lot of damage to my body this year and it's time to recharge. As the song goes...

I'm a goin' home. Whoa whoa baby, back where I belong,
Back home, sit down and patch my bones, and get back truckin' on.

Once January 1st rolls around I have less than three weeks to finish my Las Vegas book before my assignment at the Borgata in late January. That's going to be my main priority in 2006. Once that's done, I'll get back to writing on my many blogs, doing freelance work, and covering poker tournaments for various publications. I'm also postponing a big trip until after the 2006 WSOP ends. I'm going to do some light traveling early next year, but nothing major until next fall.

*****

That's it for now. See you in Vegas.
posted by Pauly at 12/08/2005 12:53:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Rain Check?

My grandmother died on Saturday afternoon. I wrote something about it on the Tao of Pauly. I'm flying back home to NYC to attend a wake and funeral. I still don't know when everything will be held. As of now, I don't know when Derek and I will be coming to Vegas. I'm gonna try my best efforts to arrive in time for the tournament. As of now, it's not looking good and we might have to miss it. Thanks to everyone who sent (and will send) messages of condolences.

*****

On another note, the cowboys are crawling around Las Vegas because the Rodeo is officially in town. They were in the poker room donking off chips at the Excalibur where Grubby and I played for a little bit when we got back from California. One surly cowboy sat at our table. He ordered a fuzzy navel. Actually he ordered two in the two hours that he sat at our table. What a fuckin'pussy. I raised his blind every time after that.

*****

Sean at Lord Admiral included two sound bites from me in his podcast for Episode #54 that I recorded from HDouble's home game featuring Joe "Speaks" Speaker, Franklin, and the Poker Geek. My segment starts at 19:20.

I was also featured in Episode #52 when I interviewed Heather from Poker Wire at Foxwoods. My segemt starts at 10:01.

Check both episodes out of the best poker podcast around. Thanks again to Sean and Stacks for having me on.
posted by Pauly at 12/05/2005 04:20:00 AM | Permalink |

 
L.A. Stories Part 2: Estimated Prophet

"My first wife cost me $1 million and a fuckin' house. Of course I'll call." - Drunk rich guy at my NL table moments before he cracked my aces

This post has two sections... the first one is the conclusion of HDouble's home game and the second is what happened on Saturday.

BG and Daddy called for another dial-a-shot. Lance had been drinking heavily all night and was quick to join in. A few hours later he would be blowing chunks in HDouble's bathroom. While the final table of the tournament went on, a cash game started up on the kitchen table.

Seat 1: Ephro
Seat 2: Mrs. Double
Seat 3: Lance
Seat 4: Grubby
Seat 5: Pauly
Seat 6: Franklin
Seat 7: Wampler
Seat 8: HDouble

Glyphic arrived just at the start of the cash game and hung out on the rail. It was dealer's choice and they liked playing 1-1 PL Hold'em or Columbine, which is a game HDouble invented. He was dreading it since everyone was calling it. Columbine is a version of Pineapple. For $3 you can get purchase a third card preflop. It didn't last too long because Grubby called a new game that he invented with Bad Blood called "Vegas Hold'em." It's just like regular Hold'em with one exception. As soon as it gets heads up one player can ask to see one of the other player's hole cards and vice versa. It was an awesome twist on the game and I'm gonna get everyone at the Blue Parrot to play it. The game caught on quickly and everyone started calling Vegas Hold'em instead of Columbine.

Vegas Hold'em. You gotta love Grubby. He's a friggin' genius. First the Hammer. Now Vegas Hold'em.

Anyway, Lance was super drunk and super loose. He and Mrs. Double battled it out a few times. She's fearless at the tables and likes to talk shit. She busted Lance with A-A. In a short time she built her stack up from 60 to over 250, mostly from Lance. She played a few junk hands and scooped another big pot from Lance.

"How could you call that bet?" he wondered.

"You are as bad as I am. That's poker, man!" she responded. "Is it cheating if I leave?" she asked HDouble.

We all laughed. He told he she could cash out if she wanted. Man, I hope she plays at the blogger event next weekend and tilts her table. She also shared with me some of her favorite cookies imported from Sweden. They were a version of gingerbread cookies and you are only supposed to eatthem during Christmas time.

I ended up winning a few bucks in the cash game. I was super tired and Grubette must have read my mind because she asked me if it would be OK to leave soon. When we left, the game was still going and Lance had just stumbled into a cab. We all wondered if he would hurl in the back seat.


Mrs. Double's Swedish cookies
*****

On Saturday morning I woke up early and wrote for a few hours and waited for Grubby to wake up. It was a beautiful day with a high blue sky and a few fluffy clouds. I was reminded why so many people live in Southern California. The weather all year long is like 2000% better than Las Vegas.

I met up with Shirley (aka Poker Babes) for lunch at the Yard House on the marina in Long Beach. Grubby, Grubbette, and Doug all tagged along. We sat outside on the deck and the USC-UCLA game was on, which was big for any local alumni who had flocked to the bar to watch the game. I had not seen Shirley since the WSOP so it was great to finally catch up with each other. We both ordered spicy chicken sandwiches. I drank a few pints of Carlsberg and we talked about a bunch of poker related stuff. One of the best things about the 2005 WSOP was getting to know Shirley better and watching her play. She's definitely one of the coolest pros I've met.

Later that night, Grubby and I met up with his sister at Hawaiian Gardens, which is a quick 10 minute drive from chez Grubette. I've only played at the Bike (almost five years ago) and never anywhere else in L.A., which is often referred to as the poker capital of the world. If you have never been to a Southern California card room, you will be impressed by the sheer size of everything. Tables. Tables. Tables. It's not hard to get intimidated right away. I thought Foxwoods was big, but Hawaiian Gardens easily tops it with over 175 gaming tables, possibly more.

As soon as I walked inside, the pungent aroma of sweaty feet and Korean BBQ greeted me. I could hear faint grovelings and bad beat stories told in Vietnamese, Filipino, Spanish, and two Chinese dialects as I carefully navigated through a row of tables. I scanned the room and decided that 2/3 of the clientele was of Asian decent. Grubby told me that's not uncommon for California cardrooms. After getting a grasp on the enormity of the room all I could think about was Phil Gordon's quote after he stepped inside the poker room at the Rio during the 2005 WSOP... "I've never seen so much dead money in my life."

Perspective. Life is about perspective. And in an instant I went from slightly uncomfortable to extremely anxious. The tables were filled with donkeys, fish, and other forms of terrible players. Some of them were new players that were willing to give their money away. Others were veteran players that still haven't figured out the game. I would have to get lucky and be assigned the right table. I told myself that if I couldn't win money in this room, then I should quit poker.

"Beware of the crazy Asians," Grubby warned me. "They are very aggressive."

Hawaiian Gardens is really a series of tents broken up into a few sections. It was originally just a five table room set up in a trailer and has since expanded into one of the more popular rooms in the LA area. There's an Asian games sections that features Chinese Poker and Pai Gow. It's about half the size of the poker room but pulls in twice as much revenue. We met Grubette at the bar. What used to be the restaurant was turned into part of the poker room. She gave us a quick tour after all she plays there at the twice a week. She pointed out that different casino workers wore different uniforms. They all had on different color shirts, for drink servers, wait staff, chip runners, and massage staff. Grubette showed me where to sign up for 8/16 and 6/12. Both games have a half kill. Since there was a wait, I also signed up for a 2-3 NL table (100 max buy-in). I got called for that table first.

There was a sign on top of the automatic shuffler that read, "English only when a hand is in play."

A chubby white guy with a $3,000 Rolex set in seat 8. He had almost $1500 at a $100 buy-in table. When my limit table was called, I passed. With a drunk rich guy ordering another Kettle One and tonic every time a waitress walked by, it would have been foolish for me to leave. As I folded all my hands during the first orbit I watched the rich drunk guy bully the table which consisted of a golf pro at a local country club, the middle-aged woman who did all her clothes shopping at K-Mart, a cool guy toughster who wore his had sideways and did constant chip tricks, two older Asian guys, and a young Asian kid who wore shades, an iPod, and a hooded UCSB sweatshirt.

Yeah the drunk guy ran over the table. He had over $1500 and the closest to him had $200. That's the biggest difference between limit and NL... the big stacks can control the flow of the game.

Grubby was seated at the table right behind me. He had a guy who was missing four fingers at his table.

"It must be a mob thing," Grubby suggested.

My table was a combination of loose and passive. Everyone was loose preflop, willing to flat call raises up to $20-25, but they clamed up and played very passive after the flop. I used that to my advantage and picked up a few small pots firing out at the flop. Sometimes position is key in NL, but I wanted to be in EP at this table. I wanted to be the first one in the pot post-flop since I knew I could thin the field with a large bet and get heads up with the drunk guy.

Thank God I read Russell Fox's book Mastering No Limit Hold'em before I came out to L.A.. Since he regularly plays against the super loose and sometimes aggressive SoCal players, his book was excellent prep for me. I highly recommend it.

In the first 75 minutes, I built up my stack to almost $350 most of that was from the drunk guy. I won a big pot with KJs and took down another pot from him when I rivered a runner runner flush with AKo. The hand of the night for me was Qc-9c. The flop was Q-J-3 with two diamonds. The turn was another Jack but that gave two flush draw possibility. I was heads up with drunk guy after the flop. I bet my two-pair on the turn, and he called. On the river, a third spade fell. I bet out and Drunk Guy moved all in. I thought about it for a while and called. He had nothing a mucked as soon as I put my chips across the line.

"Awesome call!" the golf pro said out loud. He was sick of getting bullied by the drunk guy and began to needle him. "The new guy can read you like a fuckin' book."

The drunk guy shrugged his shoulders and raised the next 13 hands in a row.

Things seemed like they were going good until a hot Romanian cick sat down and began dealing. The drunk guy was hitting on her so hard that it was comical to watch until I got my aces cracked. I raised in EP over 5x the BB. The drunk guy reraised me to 10x the BB. I moved all in for over $320 more. He still had over $1K in chips and called... with 9-9. Pocket Nines? Are you shitting me? He threw $350 into the pot with 9-9. Guess what flopped? Aces cracked and I got kicked in the junk in true California style. Second time within 24 hours.

I eyed his stack as I slid a $100 bill out of my pocket and shouted, "Rebuy!"

A few hands later I'd lose my second buy-in when I missed a big draw. After my second rebuy, I lost another pot. I went from up $250 to being down over $240. Talk about swings. I took a break and went outside to chat with Grubette as she smoked a cigarette. She was getting killed at the 6/12 tables. There was a ton of chips at her table and I thought about moving to limit. But shit, with so much money on my NL table, I had to stay. When I returned, I went on a run. I doubled up with 9-9 and flopped a set. I check-raised all-in and still got two callers. Later in that orbit, in consecutive hands I found both J-J and the Hilton Sisters. I was finally even. I turned around to Grubby and said, "I told myself I'd leave if I got unstuck."

"You got a big stack at your table," he said. "Only one guy has more chips. You sure you want to leave?"

He was right. We agreed to stay about an hour more. Good thing I let him talk me into staying. I moved my stack up to $560 (up 260 total). I picked up a nice flop with the old "Let's raise in LP with 4-7o and try to flop a straight."

I flopped two pair and turned a full house which gave two other players flushes. I busted both of them. One of the Asian guys bitched at me in Vietnamese as he walked away.

"Dude, I raised preflop. You didn't have to call," I sarcastically quipped.

I racked up my chips and headed to the cashier. I was up $262 for the session on a rollercoaster of a ride. If you can handle the swings both financially and psychologically, then you have to make a trip out to the California card rooms. You will get action.

The dealers were much better than in Las Vegas. Grubby told me that before we ever played. I dunno why this is, but there were fast and efficient. The players were all locals so no one asked me "Where are you from?" Everyone assumes that everyone is a local. They might ask "What do you do?" but the table chatter was light and people were mainly there to have a good time.

So far for the trip I'm almost up $200. Nothing to sneeze about, but it's better than being down. Grubby and I celebrated with eating Taco Bell after Midnight before we headed back to chez Grubette.

Obviously, thanks to Grubbette and Doug for letting me crash and showing me around Hawaiian Gardens. Big thanks to HDouble and Mrs. Double for inviting me into their home to play cards with some of the Full Tilt crew and the rest of the L.A. bloggers. I had a ton of fun this weekend with Grubby. It was an original experience. I wish I came out to L.A. sooner, but it was definitely worth the long drive from Vegas. I'm hoping I can make at least two trips to LA in 2006 and bring Derek with me for one of them.

Or maybe I'll just quit writing about poker and move to L.A. to be a screenwriter by day and grind out a living in the card rooms at night? Pauly in Hollyweird? That would be one great fuckin' book someday.
posted by Pauly at 12/04/2005 12:59:00 PM | Permalink |

 
West L.A. Fadeaway

"He fucks donkeys? That is fuckin' horrible!" - Mrs. HDouble

Grubby and I got on the road 13 minutes later than I wanted. That's not too bad. We rolled out of Vegas just after 11am and headed towards Los Angeles. Between the outskirts of Vegas and the California stateline there is nothing of note aside from the vast void where mobsters bury stool pigeons and the Nevada sun bakes anything in its way. The stateline casinos appear out of nowhere and jump right out at you.

"We'll have to stop on our way back to Vegas," Grubby said matter-of-factly.

One of my favorite posts from HDouble was a trip he and Mrs. Double took almost two years ago. Inspired by HDouble's scribblings, I agreed with Grubby that we would have to stop at Bufffalo Bill's on Sunday night.

On our way to Baker, the winds kicked up and the rental car swerved a few times. The tumbleweed started coming fast. Inside of a two minute stretch, the road in front of me was bombarded with tumbleweeds blown onto the highway by the fierce winds. I ran over one the size of a small Yugo. Grubby did his best efforts to take pictures, but he wasn't quick enough with the camera. One of my favorite passages from one of Jerry Garcia's biographies was the story about Neal Cassady (the dude who inspired Jack Keroauc's infamous character Dean Moriarity in On the Road). Neal drove the infamous bus for the Merry Pranksters. He was usually hopped up on LSD and when Jerry Garcia asked him how he could drive while tripping he muttered, "You have to pick out the hallucinations from the real stuff and just drive through the hallucinations."

We stopped in Baker to top off the tank (never drive through the desert with a less than 1/2 full tank) and grab food. We passed on Max Greek's and ate Arby's instead. While we parked and ate, we did a few more prop bets. Since my arrival in Las Vegas on Wednesday, I had been getting killed in prop bets. Even the Poker Geek called to tell me that I lost another one... Wil Wheaton would not be attending HDouble's home game. That made me like 1-5.

"See those two girls?" Grubby pointed to a family going inside the Subway-Pizza Hut-Gas Station combination store. One was adorable and the other was... not so adorable.

"Which one comes out first?"

"The ugly one," I said.

"I got the good looking one."

"We should bet on something else in the meantime. What's going to be the sex of the first person out that door?"

Grubby though for a second and said, "Female."

I took male and as Grubby fed French fries to a bunch of crows, a woman exited. My prop bet score sunk to a new low of 1-6. The family never came out so we don't know if the ugly girl came out first or her better looking sister.

*****

Just outside of L.A., it started to drizzle. We made great time because we did not catch one bit of traffic. At one point I looked down and said, "Holy shit! We're going over 100mph."

That's when I set the cruise control for 80 (in a 70mph zone). For most of the way, I drove way above the speed limit. We passed by Hawaiian Gardens en route to chez Grubette's in Long Beach, which is populated by two cats. One of them is a dead ringer for Wil's cat. Brother and sister caught up in the tiki lounge area of the house, while I missed the start of Wil's tournament on Poker Stars by 8 minutes. I sweated Derek and Wil's table while I fired up a Turbo SNG. I let Grubette play a few hands for me and we made the money. I took third and got all my aggression out before we headed to HDouble's. Congrats to Boobie Lover for the victory in Wil's tourney!

I forgot that you can buy liquor in grocery stores in California. I picked up a bottle of SoCo. Grubby and his sister picked up beer. A lot of it. On our way to HDouble's we got caught up in Friday night traffic. We eventually found our way to West LA and Murderer's Row, which HDouble's game had been aptly named. I made last longer bets individually with Grubby and Grubette.

Before we walked in, I set up another prop bet with Grubby. We forgot HDouble's wife's name.

"How many vowels in her name?" I asked Grubby.

"Two."

I knew Swedes tend to have a minimum of three vowels per name, so I went with three.

"How do you spell your name?" I asked upon seeing Mrs. Double.

She had three vowels and I picked up my second win to improve to 2-6. Poker Geek arrived with Geekette. I scribbled in my notes:

7:38pm... I met Geekette for the first time. She is real after all.

JoeSpeaker arrived late after a brutal drive. He hooked me up with an autographed baseball card of Catfish Hunter. He played for both of our favorite teams... for JoeSpeaker's A's and my Yankees. Bill showed up and I thanked him for all his hard work for the WPBT event next week.

HDouble introduced me to his crew at Full Tilt as we waited for the rest of the players to arrive. I finally met Ephro! He's buddies with Daddy and also works with FT. I was warned that everyone was going to get plastered. It was a long and rough week for the guys over at Full Tilt and they were happy the week was over. We'd ended up having 19 people for a $50 freeze out NL tournament. $950 prize pool and the top 5 paid.

Here's who was at my table (the kiddie kitchen table):

Seat 1: Shawn
Seat 2: Pauly
Seat 3: Lance (then HDouble)
Seat 4: Change100
Seat 5: Poker Geek
Seat 6: Franklin
Seat 7: Mike
Seat 8: Grubby
Seat 9: Grubette

If you don't know Lance is the loose gun at Murderer's Row. He can and will play any two cards. Lucky for me he was on my left. I played tight to start out. Lance and the Poker Geek got into it. Lance raised, Geek went over the top all in. Lance sighed and said something like, "Geek's protecting his aces. I'll donate anyway."

Lance's 6-6 did not hold up against Geek's A-A and Lance was the first player out.

Grubby was crippled by his sister. In an 8 way pot with a slew of limpers, Grubby moved all-in with A-10o. His sister quickly called from UTG with 7-7. Everyone folded and her sevens held up. Grubby was out a few hands later. I won my second consecutive prop bet after I picked up the last longer. I improved to 3-6. I'd pickup one more when Grubby could not properly guess how many career TDs HDouble had. He said more than 7. The correct answer was 5.

"Four in one game," the former semi-pro reminded us.

By then everyone was fairly toasted. BG and Daddy called for a dial-a-shot and we did a few more.

I lost more than half of my stack on a move. I raised preflop with the suited Jackhammer (all spades). Change100 called. The flop was all diamonds: Q-J-6. I bet out around 500 or half my stack. Change moved all in. I showed HDouble my cards before I mucked and he said, "I liked that move." Yeah I raised preflop with junk and bet out with second pair only to get outflopped by Change100's Ad-7d and the nut flush draw. I'm glad I folded. She and the Geek had most of the chips at the table.

After one of the breaks, I stepped outside for a smoke with Change100. When I came back, HDouble kept joking that "Pauly is recharged!" That's when I began to run over the table. I had a combination of some monsters and marginal hands. I kept raising pots hoping someone would call one of my monsters. It never happened and I tried to get the Geek on tilt by showing him my junk hands whenever I raised his blinds and he folded. I picked up a lot of pots and everytime I scooped HDouble would yell, "Pauly's recharged!"

I dropped the Hammer on one hand and we looked up at the clock. It was 1:18 minutes into the tournament and no one had yet to drop the Hammer.

"That's weak," added HDouble commenting on the lack of Hammer throws. "It took over an hour for the first Hammer."

A few hands later, I found A-A. I moved all-in over the top of Change100. She eventually called with 5-5. I didn't know Grubbette was still in the hand and turned over my aces. She had the Hiltons and folded! By then a small crowd of railbirds crowded HDouble's kitchen. They all stood behind Mike who was dealing the hand. He turned up the three cards and by the expressions of Lance, Grubby, and Joe Speaker standing behind him, I knew I got outflopped before the cards hit the table. Change100's set of 5s cracked my aces. I was out in 11th place and bubbled out of the final table. I lost a last longer with Grubette.

Since Kori and Change100 had about the same number of chips heads-up, they decided to chop.

Here's a list of the money winners:

1-2 Change100 & Geekette ($304 each)
3 Joe Speaker ($152)
4 John ($114)
5 Grubette ($76)

Here's a picture dump:


Black crows in Baker


Catfish


The prize pool


Joe Speaker and Bill


Grubbette's hole cam


Change 100's huge chip stack!
I did another shot and got ready for the cash game! In the meantime, I was trying to explain to Mrs. HDouble that Daddy was a donkey fucker.

"He fucks donkeys? That is fuckin' horrible!" she said in her Swedish accent. "Did he really fuck a donkey?"

We told her about his world-famous post and how she'd get to meet Daddy next weekend.

"That is horrible," she kept saying before she paused. "Does he give the donkey a treat afterwards?"

The room erupted in laughter.

A few minutes later, she realized that a donkey was not the same as a monkey. She thought Daddy fucked a "monkey." Something got lost in the translation there.

"A monkey is small so I can see him picking it up and bouncing it around. A donkey is like a horse. Jesus Christ! That is so fuckin' sick!" she said.

Daddy is now going to become a part of Swedish folklore. Daddy the Monkey Fucker.

... to be continued.
posted by Pauly at 12/03/2005 02:29:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Sahara Blues

"It's my big dick and I say when we roll!" - Dirk Diggler, Boogie Nights

Quick note... when I left the Sahara on Thursday, I snagged a huge stack of the December issue of Poker Pro magazine. If you see it in your local card room/casino... pick it up! Vince Van Patten is on the cover. I wrote one article about the 2005 Legends of Poker and it's in that issue. Poker Pro is a relatively new magazine. They used to be published every other month but from the next issue forth, they will be a monthly publication. My next two articles in future issues of Poker Pro will be about the World Poker Finals in Foxwoods and the Bellagio Five Diamond Classic. The editors also offered me a full-time column! That's quite an honor and it's my first regular feature column in the print media realm. Thanks again to Poker Pro for giving me the chance to write for them. And special thanks to Lou Krieger who recommended me to them!

Moving on...

I wandered around Target a few minutes after it opened. It was pretty crowded for a Thursday morning. The last time I was in Target, I was buying tupperware and called Otis to wish him good luck with NaNoWriMo. This time, I had to do some personal shopping and buy a blanket since it's friggin' freezing in Chez Grubby. As I wandered up and down the aisles, I noticed a lot of very good looking women with great bodies. Whenever I see a hot chick out during the day of the Las Vegas Strip, I immediately think she's a stripper.

Anyway, I was going to write more about strippers and strip clubs, but I'm a little bored about that topic. How about talking about Poker Stars?

Let's just fucking shill the hell out of Poker Stars today! In fact, let's add a nice banner ad too so it comes up in Bloglines:


I love Poker Stars. They pay me off in lapdances, hardcore drugs, and Thai hookers****. Every time I get some poor bastard to sign up for a real money account, I get to do the freaky freaky with a nimble fellatio guru who's drenched in cheap perfume.

Anyway, I played in another rebuy tournament for the WPT-PCA. Didn't do so hot. I also played in a few SNGs with Jaxia on Poker Stars yesterday. She asked me why I kept raising her blinds. I told her, "Because I'm evil. I shill online sites."

Poker Stars was nice enough to host Saturdays with Dr. Pauly and they also host Wil Wheaton's tournaments. I skipped his tournament on Thursday. Since I'm in Las Vegas, I wanted to play in a real tournament with real live players. He has another one on Friday. Stop by his blog for more details.

And the results of my live tourney? 35th out of 121.

After dinner at Panda Express, Grubby and I headed to the Sahara to play in their 7pm nightly NL tournaments. $42 buy-in gets you 2K in chips and for $20 you get one rebuy for 1500 more chips. One of Grubby's friends Carla met up with us. She was seated at my table. The bad thing about Sahara's tournaments is they squeeze 11 players onto the tables. I got stuck next to the poor schmuck who smelled like piss and vinegar. Aside from that, I thought it was a pretty solid tournament with a healthy mix of locals and tourists, with more stand-offish locals playing than gregarious tourists. 121 players entered with 99 rebuys. Top 11 places paid with $2,200 going to the winner. Grubby and I swapped 10% of each other and we made another prop bet... a last longer.

I had a few random people at my table including the young Asian guy from California who dressed like he was an extra out of a hip-hop video. There was the angry old guy who bitched about every hand and personally blamed the dealer for everything, even the cold weather. In the far corner next to Carla were a couple of young internet players. They talked smack about making final tables on Party Poker, but can't even eye the size of a pot or handle their chips. Plus they give off monster tells when they bluff.

I cracked J-J with 5-5. This guy I beat had won hands with junk like 5-2o. When he raised my blind, I moved all in with 5-5 hoping to get the guy out of the pot. He had J-J. I stood up and dug into my pocket to get my rebuy. That's when a 5 flopped. I doubled up and had almost 4K in chips. I was the table chipleader at the end of the first break. Oh, they serve free sandwiches at the break, which Grubby was sure to point out several times to me.

At the end of the second break, I was crippled when my 9-9 ran into Q-Q. I made a bad read and hoped he was stealing my blinds from the button. I moved all in and he quickly called. Carla was owning our table for a while until she lost a few big pots and was busted out just before the second break.

I was moved to a table with the hot chick. She really wasn't that hot (hotness is an objective term), but she wore a tight purple sweater and looked like Fiona Apple nipping out. She as an all-in specialist. She won a big pot when she moved all-in with A-7 and flopped two pair. I was the shortstack with 570 left and waited for a hand. The blinds were 200/400 and I moved all-in with K-Q. I got 4 callers and flopped two pair with Kournikova. My hand held up and I had over 4K in chips. A few hands later, I moved all-in with A-Q in late position. Well the LB had A-K and quickly called. I flopped a Queen and doubled up. I went from 570 in chips to 8K inside of one orbit.

I got blinded down until the next break. With the blinds 500/1000, I was busted when I moved all in with 10-10. One guy had J-J and that was it. I was busted in 35th place after issuing two bad beats. Grubby went out soon after me in 33rd place. We missed the money but Grubby won the last longer!

That's it. I have to go write for a bit before I crash and drive to LA tomorrow with Grubby riding shotgun. We're gonna raise hell at HDouble's homegame in Hollyweird and hang out with some LA boogers. Trip report to follow.

**** I really don't get paid in lapdances, hardcore drugs, and Thai hookers. I'm not that good. I mean that's the Otis deal!
posted by Pauly at 12/02/2005 04:29:00 AM | Permalink |

 
First Arrival

I am officially the first blogger (non-Nevada resident) to arrive in Las Vegas. And I'm definitely going to be the last one to leave (Christmas Eve)!

Back in NYC, my cab driver to JFK airport turned around and said, "I know you."

Don't worry he's not a fan of my blog. He used to be a delivery driver from a pizza place I used to order from at least once a week. Because he thought that he knew me, meant to him that he could engage in idle chit-chat.

I fuckin' hate idle chit-chat, especially from cabbies. I was in a weird mood, a combination of exhausted and sad. I always go through a slight stage of melancholy whenever I leave a place I really like. I wanted to stare out and look at all the skyscrapers and the lights on the office buildings and zone out. My driver wouldn't let me. He played techno-sitar music from India and he kept bitching about the traffic. You know you have a bad cabbie when he's complaining about the traffic. That's like a fisherman bitchin' about the smell. (Or a poker writer loathing writing about poker... heh.)

The woman sitting next to me on my flight was smoking hot. Angela Basset hot. And she was a stripper too. She lied and said she did something else... MAW (model-actress-whatever). That whatever part was stripping. She asked me what I did for a living.

"I produce adult films."

She smiled and handed me her business card. It wasn't much of a card. It was a plain white card and has a pair of lips on it. The only text was her stripper name and an email address.

Oh... and her stripper name? Pinot.

I flew Jetblue to Las Vegas since it's the official airline of the Tao of Poker. You know you fly an airline too much when the hagged out flight attendants recognize you and know what you want to drink without asking. JetBlue has TVs which is necessary on a 5+ hour flight. I watched the WPT Tournament of Champions II, VH1's one hit wonders, and Naomi Watts get interviewed on Conan O'Brien. I'd sever my left nut to play "hide the salami" for 35 seconds with Naomi. Brandt and Daddy have to pay $100 if they wanna watch.

I never check luggage. It's a suckers bet like insurance in blackjack. Checking bags is extremely -ev. But this time, I had a lot of crap to take with me. Lucky for me, my bag was one of the first to come out. At the rental car counter, they didn't have my reservation number in the system. That's when I told them I was a "Fast Break" elite member. They quickly ushered me outside to a shuttle bus. The driver dropped me off five feet from my rental car and I tipped him $5. That was the fastest rental car pick up in my life.

I drove over to Grubby's to pick him up. We headed to Balboa for dinner. It's located in the mall just outside of Green Valley Ranch andit's five minutes away from chez Grubby. I lost my first prop bet of the trip. Last time I arrived in Vegas in October, we were hitting on a cute waitress. I bet Grubby $1 that she'd be there. She wasn't.

"It's never a good sign when you lose your first bet in Las Vegas," Grubby reminded me.

I did a double or nothing bet. The debate was the seats on Jetblue planes. Grubby said that the seats in the front of the plane had more legroom. I said it was the back. We just checked online and I was right. We're now even with prop bets and I've only been in Vegas less than two hours.

So it's a little past 1am. Time for some tourist poker and strip clubs!

Before I go... check out two relatively new blogs. I'm friends with Lady Falcon. We play cards together here in NYC. And TeamScottSmith is part of the G-Vegas crew. He likes to climb trees.

1. Poker & Liquor (TeamScottSmith)
2. Lady Poker (Lady Falcon)

Thanks to everyone for their emails, IMs, and comments about my previous post. I'm very lucky to have friends and supporters like you.
posted by Pauly at 12/01/2005 04:20:00 AM | Permalink |