Monday, December 07, 2009

Invading Las Vegas Tips Reprise

By Pauly
New York City

Over the years I have posted different variations of the Bloggers Invading Las Vegas Tips. You can check out the last installment aka the 5.0 version.

Here's the quick list (I go into greater detail in the actual post)...
Bloggers Invading Las Vegas Tips
1. Cut back on sleep immediately.
2. Sip, don't chug.
3. Water and Motrin are your best friend.
4. Bring a cell phone charger.
5. Take pictures.
6. Ask before you post pictures on the internet.
7. Speak your mind and stay in the moment.
8. Understand that it will be impossible to spend quality time with everyone.
9. Don't be Gigli.
10. Never underestimate the importance of a $20 tip.
11. Food is fuel.
12. Wear comfortable shoes.
13. Bring a watch.
14. Keep your gambling bankroll separate from your other cash.
15. $50 bills are bad luck.
16. Avoid the slots.
17. Don't tell people at your poker table that you have a poker blog.
18. Bring a jacket and sunglasses.
19. Never burn the locals.
20. Don't get rolled by a hooker.
21. Avoid hangovers. Stay drunk.
22. Get off the Strip.
23. Don't die.

Click here for the full detailed list.

I guess that the 6.0 edition has a couple of new items...
24. Wash your hands.

I was never a germophobe until I moved to Las Vegas and witnessed the collective filth. I won't go into the gory details, but since we all play a significant amount of poker in Las Vegas, I advise you to not touch your face without washing your hands. Who the hell knows what is on those grimy poker chips. Purell is a good thing to have with you.

25. Don't get pissed if I don't shake your hand.

This is a continuation of the previous tip. If I'm in/around a poker room or tournament I prefer to give a "fist bump" instead a good old fashioned handshake. I trust that you have good hygiene habits but I don't trust any of your tablemates. Who knows when the last time they washed their hands. Plus, Las Vegas is a city of travelers some of whom are hosts for strains of Horse Flu, Llama Flu, Ocelet Flu, and Donkey Flu. I know a dozen people in the the poker media who were stricken hard by the flu at the November Nine. Be careful. And please don't be offended by my "Howard Hughes" germ phase.

26. Boost your immune system.

Let's face it, you're going to Las Vegas to party your ass off and binge eat and drink heavily and engage in drug use and deprive yourself of sleep and do all sorts of damage to yourself. Hey, you earned it! But before you go, start boosting your immune system so you don't get sick. While you are in Vegas, try to do as many healthy things as possible. For example, drink screwdrivers or greyhounds to get your daily vitamin C intake. Drink a glass of water for every line of blow you snort. But seriously, Echinacea and Elderberry are amazing natural immune boosters according to my hippie friends. Zinc is the shit along with all of the vitamins. B-12 especially. Buy a bottle of Zicam two days before your trip and eat the whole thing steadily over the weekend.

27. Don't get robbed.

Not to be confused with Tip #20 - Don't get rolled by a hooker. This is a serious warning. We're living in harsh economic times and people are desperate in Las Vegas. AlCantHang's buddy left his laptop in the back seat of his rental car and someone stole it from the parking lot of the Gold Coast. Mrs. Flipchip got robbed while standing at a slot machine at a locals casino. Another friend of mine got robbed by a chick who he was trying to pick up in a club. Crime is on the rise in Sin City but most of those incidents are crimes of opportunity -- which means don't be lazy and be vigilant. Don't leave your room unlocked or flash around a lot of cash. Make sure you don't get followed up to your room.

28. Use your room safe.

There's a lot of theft rings in Las Vegas especially maids with sticky fingers. You'd be surprised to learn that some poker players are the best in the world at not giving away their chips -- but when it comes to real life they do stupid shit like leave bundles of cash or casino chips in plain view in their hotel rooms. If you have a safe then use the fucker! And if you are a pothead -- lock up your stash in the safe. I know a couple of pros who got booted from the Borgata because they left a bag of weed out on the table and the guy who checks up on the minibar saw it out and ratted them out.

29. Thieves LOVE your iPhone.

Dozens of iPhones were stolen inside the Amazon Ballroom at the Rio this summer. Heard a rumor that one of the floor staff was in on it. Be careful. Don't leave it unattended especially when your at a poker table or at the bar.

30. Go to Red Rock Canyon.

Red Rock is one of my favorite things about Las Vegas. Checkout my Red Rock Canyon photo gallery and see for yourself. Red Rock is a 30 minute drive from the Strip. $5 per car to enter the park. Well worth it. Do the 13 mile scenic drive or make stops at designated areas to snap photos or if you're the adventurous type -- you can go for a quick hike and touch the Red Rocks. They have been known to have healing powers.

31. Go to the Bellagio to check out the free stuff.

If you have the wife/girlfriend/gay lover then take them to the Bellagio. You're guaranteed to get oral sex within 24 hours. There's the romantic water show out front (beware of pickpockets). There's the Dale Chihuly ceiling sculptures. The flower conservatory. And the chocolate fountain at the Jean-Philippe Chocolates and Pastries shop. The buffet is pricey but one of my Top 2 on the Strip (the Wynn is my favorite). The cafe has amazing breakfasts and the omeletes are heavenly. Try the Bellagio omelet made with Maine lobster. Oh, and if you're a poker geek, get seat at a low limit table in front of Bobby's Room and gawk at the pros.

32. In & Out Burger

Best burger fast food chain in America, heck the world. You have to go at least once in your life. I'm spoiled living in LA and can get In & Out any time, but for everyone else ... it's worth the trip.

33. Hooker Rake Back

Times are tough. Discuss rake back opportunities with working girls. They will give you a freebie if you can get them plenty of customers.

34. Don't be a dick.

Have fun, but don't be a dick. Nobody likes a dick.

And before you head to Vegas, you should check out something I also wrote called Advanced Travel and Packing Tips.

Oh, and there's also the Waffles Q & A when he quizzed me about specific Las Vegas matters.

Original content written and provided by Pauly from Tao of Poker at All rights reserved. RSS feeds are for non-commercial use only.

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