Tao of Poker

The Boathouse Game

"Sun Tzu? You're barely Sonny Bono!" - BG to Lewey

The last time I played with Al Cant Hang's crew, I got slaughtered. Lewey cracked my KK with 23o! I knew better this time. I was prepared to play against a table of loose cannons. And I was ready to win back some of the money I lost at the Borgata the night before. We arrived at the Boathouse after Mrs. Hang and I picked up Derek at the train station and BG at the airport. Big Mike, Al Cant Hang, and Lewey were already drinking heavily. I tried to catch up quickly and inside a half hour, we sat down inside at the "bankers table" for the first part of the game.



$40 buy in, NL hold'em, blinds: 25c and 50c. The rules were the same; Keep hands inside at all times and don't feed the animals.

The Players:
Seat 1: Big Mike
Seat 2: Lewey
Seat 3: BG
Seat 4: Landow
Seat 5: Dr. Pauly
Seat 6: Derek
Seat 7: Al Cant Hang (and later JDubs and Brian)

3:15pm EST... On the first hand, Al Cant Fold sucked out a runner runner flush against BG who flopped two pair.

3:51pm EST... With a flop of 542 and two clubs, Lewey pushed his stack all in with K2. BG thought for a while and called. He had A-10s and spiked a 10 on the river to double up against Lewey.

4:09pm EST... UTG, I raised with nothing. It was a drunk bet, trying to play Q9s fast. Only AlCantFold called. The flop: 954. I bet the pot and AlCantFold called even after I outflopped him. I put him on A5 or A4. The turn: K. I bet and Al Called. The river: another K. I moved all in and Al took his time. He eventually folded thinking I was going to outkick him. He had K3 and laid down his hand. I had to show the bluff. I almost walked into a mine field. Good job to Al for considering the kicker issues. He said he put me on King-face.

4:20pm EST... BG lost a hand to Lewey. He had 65s and flopped a flush draw which he never got on the river.

4:44pm EST... +36. Lewey bet $8. I declared to the table, "Lewey, you are full of shit!" Everyone laughed as I moved all in. He called with 88. I had A10s. The board: 9-6-5-10-2. Big Mike folded 5-10 and he almost called! I busted Lewey for the first time that day. He quickly did a rebuy and ran upstairs for another round of drinks.

4:51pm EST... Lewey's Big Slick went heads up with AlCantLimp's A10. Al flopped a ten and busted Lewey. For a second time, he dug into the pockets for a rebuy. Landow finally joined the table.

5:07pm EST... BG had the Hilton Sisters vs. Big Mike's 10-9s and doubled up when Big Mike flopped top pair and they both moved all in.

5:15pm EST... +35. With AJ I flopped a Broadway Straight. No callers.

5:31pm EST... BG moved all in and survived once again! Big Mike's Q3 lost to BG's J7 when BG flopped a jack.

5:42pm EST... Landow's AA hold up when he nailed a full boat.

5:44pm EST... +105. On the button, I played a hand blind, since Big Mike announced he was going to play his hand without looking at it. Lewey peeked and he called. The flop: K86. Big Mike checked, Lewey moved all in (short stack). I pushed my stack all in and Big Mike called (I had him covered). We flipped over our cards. Lewey had nothing... 92o. Big Mike had a monster 10-10! I sheepishly rolled over my hand. An 8... then... a 6! I flopped two pair. Lucky fuck, eh? Rags fell on the turn & river and I knocked out both Lewey (for a second time) and Big Mike. Lewey had his third rebuy. It was time to move the game outdoors.

6:20pm EST... +195. I busted AlCantLimp with 10-10. He called with A7s and flopped top pair! I pushed him all in and he called. JDub, the bass player from Petey and the Bandcampers sat in Al's seat, who had to start greeting the guests as they arrived.

6:26pm EST... The party had officially begun. Lewey's decent into Hades had begun a few hours before. The alcohol that seeped into his bloodstream had taken control of his poker faculties. Landow's KJ was good enough when they flopped a Jack and Lewey moved all in with J6.

6:37pm EST... Derek had been playing tight all day. He wasn't getting any cards. I called a raise on the button with A4s. Derek and Big Mike were in the pot with me. The flop: A43. Derek checked, so did Big Mike and I bet the pot. Derek reraised all in. Big Mike folded and I was left thinking about calling with top two pair. The first thing I said to myself, "Derek would never play 2-5 to a preflop raise!" Maybe he has a set of 3s or 4s or he could also have two pair. I called and he did in fact have 25o and he doubled up against me. He said he was sick of Big Mike always raising his blinds and he wanted to see a flop. Nice flop, eh?

6:47pm EST... +100. BG played his hand blind and ended up with AK.

7:07pm EST... JDub moved all in with a shortstack and AKs to triple up. Lewey dug into his pockets for his fourth rebuy. He was down $160. He was screaming, "Lot's of bleeding, right here!" as he emphatically pounded his chest. Perhaps he was just foreshadowing the hijinks later in the evening? JDubs left to get ready for the opening set and Brian took his seat.

7:16pm EST... +80. In my notes, I scribbled: Lewey = Belligerent. He announced to the table that he was in fact Sun Tzu. BG quickly quipped, "Sun Tzu? You're barely Sonny Bono!"

7:34pm EST... +140. El Diablo Rio. It was one of those moments when I had A10 and raised the pot to $10. Lewey called and pushed his entire stack all in on the flop: J75. No way he had J7 or J5, right? Nope. Lewey turned over J7 and I foolishly called with A10. I was doomed. I needed running cards to hope for a miracle suckout. The turn: 5. Wait a second... I just got the first miracle card. An ace would now give me a better two pair. The turn card was dealt... and bam! And ace spiked and the table exploded in a drunken symphony of loud hooterin' and boisterous hollerin'. The guests at the bar looked over to see what all the commotion was about. I was pumping my fist in the air, celebrating in true Hellmuthian fashion. Lewey sunk his head and sighed. He quickly whipped out a $50 bill and bought some chips off of me. He was down $210. BG whipped out his ATM card and tried to swipe it in Lewey's mouth thinking he'd shoot out $20 bills.

7:53pm EST... +110. I gave some of the money back to Lewey when I flopped two pair and Lewey caught a straight on the turn.

8:01pm EST... My notes say: Lewey was screaming at the top of his lungs! A few moments later he knocked over his beer, which was the point where we ended the game and headed inside for some food and the opening band.

The Final Tally:
Pauly +110
Landow +93
Derek +45
AlCantFold +10
JDubs +5
Brian -15
Big Mike -60
Lewey -170

A five hour game before the party was exactly what I wanted. I got to play with BG again as well as Big Mike and Lewey and Landow and some new guys. Those games are seat-of-your-pants-wild-fun. Home games take on the personality of the players, and as you can tell from AlCantHang's stories and pictures... his home games are always wacky and wild adventures.

If you'd like to read about the non-poker happenings of this weekend, visit Tao of Pauly.