Tao of Poker

Daddy Wins Turkey Cup

By Pauly
New York City

The second annual Turkey Cup ended up being an unexpected hit. Derek anticipated 50+ players. I had a much conservative estimate.

In all, 56 folks showed up to play in the Turkey Cup and everyone at the final table would make the money. 55 people had their sights set on Derek who was defending his crown, er cup. And when the dust settled around Midnight, Daddy (aka TequilaMom) emerged victorious and won the coveted Turkey Cup. Bragging rights now belong to Daddy, who he insisted the local women nicknamed him "cumzilla."

My starting table included JPPhilly, cyberpebbles, butchhoward, Java117, Scurvyfreed, nealdo56, JustLuck1978, and change1OO.

Buffalo66 has been cleaning up over at Fantasy Sports Live, but he couldn't get anything going in the Turkey Cup. He busted on one of the first hand and too Gigli honors.

AlCantHang was also an early casualty when his Queens were cracked by Friedman's A-K.

Early on, the banter at Daddy's table was kicked into high gear.

TequilaMom: I usually listen to Kid Rock when I'm cramming my crank into a *****'s pisstank.
DrPauly: can u describe said pisstank?
TequilaMom: Her pisser was pretty banged up. I think she had gingivitis down there. Smelled like rotten pissroot, and looked like an open axe wound.
DoubleDave: maybe a busted ravioli?
777GMoney: i think i just threw up in mouth a little bit
TequilaMom: Overrotated blotator cufflinks at the very least.

Friedman and TequilaMom were out to an early lead with almost 5K.

Change100 headed to the rail early when her J-J lost to 10-4s. I busted cyberpebbles with Kings vs. A-Q. I had to fade a flush draw on the river and succeeded. For most of the early levels, I was in the top 5-10 in chips.

I moved to a new table that included GrrrlZilla, Family Ice, imhere4beer, Daddy, pungissunob, opnmnd, irongirl01, and Johnny Walker.

Derek failed to repeat and went out in 35th place. He was shortstacked and open shoved for 850 with pocket eights. Hoy called with Q-J. Derek lost his race and was eliminated.

At the first break, GMoney the chipleader with 9K. I had 3.6K and was 6/30.

Daddy was at my table and we had a few interesting conversations. He even complimented me on my avatar (Arnold Drummond from Different Strokes).

TequilaMom: Pretty sweet Obama avatar Pauly.

DrPauly: Tequila Mom, when was the last time u actually wore underwear -- in a conventional sense?
TequilaMom: Third grade.
DrPauly: freeballin since the 90s?
TequilaMom: That's actually the title of my memoirs.

TequilaMom: Haha, my pet koala just queefed. Smells like turnips.

The last line might have been the quote of the night.

GMpney moved to my table with a leading stack of 11K. Daddy referred to him as a "total fishmonkey."

I went out in 23rd. GMoney raised UTG. Friedman called. I had Jacks and knew that I was ahead of both players. I shoved for 3K. imhere4beer re-raised all in from the button. Awwww, fuck. He had me covered and I knew I was beat with a monster. GMoney and Friedman both folded and my Jacks were up against Kings. King on the flop. I was fucked. imhere4beer won the pot. Out in 23rd.

With two tables to go Bikom took the chiplead and he was out in front for a while until Daddy snagged the lead shortly before the second break with 11 players to go.

FishyMcDonk was the BubbleBoy. He also bubbled off the final table in 10th place.

Hoy was the chipleader with nine to go.

2008 Turkey Cup Final Table:
Seat 1: scurvyfreed (4534)
Seat 2: lightning36 (9265)
Seat 3: Joanne1111 (10800)
Seat 4: TequilaMom (13171)
Seat 5: imhere4beer (12403)
Seat 6: hoyazo (14442)
Seat 7: 777GMoney (3479)
Seat 8: Family Ice (3790)
Seat 9: Bikom (12116)

Daddy busted GMoney on a crazy sick ugly hand. Bad beat of day for sure. GMoney's Kings were brutally sodomized by Daddy's 3c-2c. Daddy caught a runner runner Wheel to crack Kings. Brutal. Daddy surged to over 30K.

Kings were not a fun hand to have at the final table. Joanne had her Kings cracked by A-K and she went out.

Hoy was eliminated when his 9s-7s lost to Daddy's 10s-2s. "The ole Doyle Bunford," explained Daddy, who ended up winning the hand with a full house.

Lightning36 went out in third and a heads up match was set. Daddy was ahead in chips, but Bikom was chasing history. He had previously won an event in Saturdays with Dr. Pauly and was trying to join Derek as the only other person to have won a Turkey Cup and a Saturdays with Dr. Pauly.

Heads Up Chip Counts:
Seat 4: TequilaMom (64047)
Seat 9: Bikom (19953)

At one point, there was an all in. Both shoved pre-flop with 10-9 vs 9-5. Man, I love these guys! I knew the heads up would go quick and on the tenth hand, just before the stroke of midnight, it was all over.

Daddy raised to 8,000. Bikom shoved for 23,856. Daddy had him covered and called.

TequilaMom: Ad-10s
Bikom: Kc-Js

The flop was 10c-7c-3d. The turn was the Ac. And the river was the 4d. Daddy won the pot with two pair. Bikom was eliminated in second place, and Daddy won Turkey Cup.



Daddy sent me a text message shortly after his victory...Paul, thanks for providing me with yet another opportunity to completely dismantle an MTT field full of gifted poker writers/players.

I dig how he called me... Paul.

Congrats to Daddy/TequilaMom for the victory in the second annual Turkey Cup. Thanks to everyone who played and pimped the event. See you next year for the third annual Turkey Cup.

And don't forget about Saturdays with Dr. Pauly! Every Saturday at 4:20pm.


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