Stay tuned for Vegoose pictures, videos, and stories
By the way, go check out Spaceman's live coverage of the WSOP Circuit Event.
The First Annual AlCantHang & Pauly Blogger Quiz:Good luck!
1. Which blogger was born in Alaska?
2. Who hired three illegal Mexicans to renovate his house for $3,000?
d. Mean Gene
3. Who was the first blogger to get a WSOP press pass?
4. Who is NOT a lawyer...
a. Big Pirate
b. F Train
c. Poker Wolf
d. Dawn from I Had Outs
5. Which blogger appeared in a commercial for Nickelodeon?
b. Shane Nickerson
6. Which blogger met his wife in a gay bar in Idaho?
b. Human Head
d. Bad Blood
7. Before he moved to Las Vegas, Grubby lived in DC. What did he do?
a. He worked as an analyst for the CIA.
b. He was a playwright.
c. He wrote for the Washington Post.
d. He taught gym at a all-girls Catholic school.
8. Who gave Dr. Pauly his "blogger" doctorate?
a. The Poker Penguin
b. The FatGuy
c. Mr. Decker
d. Lord Geznikor
9. Which blogger announced his intentions on running for President in 2004?
a. Mean Gene
b. Chris Halverson
10. Who is NOT Canadian?
c. Dr. Chako
11. Which blogger's band once performed at the Whiskey in LA?
b. Bad Blood
d. Joe Speaker
12. Which blogger has not been to all of the last three Bash at the Boathouse gatherings?
13. Which blogger passed out before the first WPBT tournament in Las Vegas?
d. Boy Genius
14. Which WSOP Champion spoke at the first ever WPBT gathering?
a. Jesus Ferguson
b. Chris Moneymaker
c. Greg Raymer
d. Tom McEvoy
15. Which female poker pro originally wrote on Card Squad with Derek and Jen Leo?
a. Vanessa Rousso
b. Liz Lieu
c. Erica Schoenberg
d. Carmel Petresco
16. How many outlets did I write for at the 2006 WSOP?
17. We all know Otis once ate two Keno crayons. But what did BoyGenius do at Brad-o-ween?
a. Drink a half full bottle of hot sauce.
b. Drink a bucket of tinny water.
c. Eat an entire raw eggplant.
d. Eat a slice of pizza that Otis drove over in his car.
18. Lewey (of the AlCantHang crew) is (in)famous for a spectacular drunken dash down a steep hill. Which blogger helped drive him home THEN booted in Landow's front yard?
19. Which female blogger drives a motorcycle?
d. California April
20. Which blogger cashed in the 2005 WSOP?
c. Big Pirate
d. Joe Speaker
21. Which blogger had AlCantHang knighted by the Order of St. Arnold?
a. Chris Halverson
b. Peter Birks
22. HDouble's favorite band is...
d. Yonder Mountain String Band
23. Before he blogged about poker, Spaceman used to have a blog about...
a. Comic books
24. Which of the following did the Poker Prof NOT do...
a. Attend law school in the South
b. Hit a hole in one at TPC Summerlin during a pro-am golf tournament
c. Work for an Iranian folk singer
d. Freelance programming work with NASA
25. By some weird confluence of the galaxy, both Derek and "Doogie" of the AlCantHang crew attended the same university and joined the same fraternity together. Which university?
b. U Penn
d. Radha Institute for Mentally Retarded
26. Which 2006 WSOP bracelet winner played in the first ever live WPBT poker tournament?
a. Rafe Furst
b. Max Pescatori
c. David Williams
d. Dutch Boyd
27. We all know Grubby invented the Hammer. But what was the Hammer's origin?
a. It's the name of Grubby's dog.
b. It's the name of a player in Grubby's homegame.
c. It's the name of Grubby's favorite singer.
d. It's the nickname for Grubby's penis.
28. Otis named his son after what 60s icon?
a. Jimi Hendrix
b. Bob Dylan
c. Jerry Garcia
d. Jim Morrison
29. Who's the tallest blogger out of the following...
d. Miami Don
30. The first official meeting between NYC's Pauly and Philly's AlCantHang occurred where?
a. Yankees game
b. Phillies game
c. Bash at the Boathouse
d. Ferrari's Blue Parrot home game
31. Which of the following phrases did Felicia NOT say to Pauly?
a. "You're a terrible poker player."
b. "You're ugly. I don't know how you sleep with so many women."
c. "You play too many hands."
d. "You need to write more about Stud."
32. Which blogger was a member of the winning team during the Drunken Olympics at Brad-o-Ween 2005?
33. Who played Ariel in a performance of Shakespeare's A Mid Summer's Night Dream?
34. Flipchip is a Vietnam vet. Pick the non-veteran of the US Armed Forces...
a. Bill Rini
b. Brandon Schaefer
c. The Rooster
d. Easy Cure
35. Which blogger did NOT go to the Playboy Mansion in April?
b. Chad from Pokerama
d. Bobby Bracelet
36. Who else is NOT a lawyer?
a. Jordan from High on Poker
d. Ryan from Absinthe's Troubles
37. Everyone knows that Pauly won the 2005 Brad-o-Ween poker tournament, but who came in second?
a. CJ the Luckbox
b. Heather aka Princess Maigrey
c. Big Pirate
38. What did Jaxia once herd in Texas?
39. Which of the following did Dan Michalski from Pokerati NOT do?
a. Run tournaments at a strip club in Dallas.
b. Edit one issue of All In Magazine.
c. Covered the war in Kosovo.
d. Was on the diving team for the 1991 Pan American Games.
40. Which female blogger has the best cleavage according to the Tao of Poker?
a. Jen Leo
b. Amy Calistri
41. What semi-pro sport did HDouble play?
42. Who went 10-2 with a 2.50 ERA during his sophomore year on his college baseball team after starting the season 6-0?
43. Which blogger puked in a garbage can at the Excalibur at the last gathering?
d. Texas April
44. Where is G-Vegas located?
b. North Carolina
d. South Carolina
45. Who has NOT won a WBPT live tournament in Las Vegas?
a. Studio Glyphic
b. F Train
46. Who won the first ever WPBT online tournament?
a. Mean Gene
b. Boy Genius
c. Poker Nerd
d. Lord Geznikor
47. Which blogger passed out in the bathroom at the MGM during a WPBT gathering?
a. Poker Geek
d. Shelly from Hella Hold'em
48. Who was the overall champion of the 2005 Saturdays with Dr. Pauly?
d. Bobby Bracelet
49. Which famous actress admitted to me that she reads the Tao of Poker?
a. Mena Suvari
b. Shannon Elizabeth
c. Laura Prepon
d. Anne Heche
50. What put Otis on mega-tilt at the 2006 WSOP?
a. I got a double kiss from Isabelle Mercier.
b. Erica Schoenberg said hello to me in the hallway.
c. One of the hot Tilted Kilt waitresses said she read my blog.
d. All of the above.
51. Who is not a part of LA's Murderer's Row?
a. Ten Mile
c. Joe Speaker
d. Bill Rini
52. What did Felicia say to Boy Genius when they met in person for the first time?
a. "You suck at poker."
b. "You should never play poker ever again."
c. "Did you try the gumbo?"
d. "You're fatter than I thought you'd be."
53. The Rooster won a freeroll tournament at a new underground poker club in New York City. What did he win?
a. Trip to the Borgata in AC
b. Flatscreen TV
c. $2,000 cash
d. Clay poker chip set and a free massage
54. Which blogger is currently homeless?
c. Mr. Subliminal
d. Poker Penguin
55. Jaxia had a hand named after her. What is it?
56. Which poker pro did AlCantHang harass at the Playboy Mansion?
a. Daniel Negreanu
b. Hoyt Corkins
c. Steve Dannenmann
d. The Grinder
57. Pick the blogger NOT from Minnesota.
b. Bloody P
"Is man one of God's blunders? Or is God one of man's blunders?" - NietzscheMy favorite aspect about working on Wall Street was that I legally gambled with other people's money. I got experience the rush without the financial liability.
1. I'll either get stuck standing in front or behind the most annoying person on the planet.That's life's little evil way of evening things up on Planet Pauly. Karmic balance. Kind of like being card dead for an hour and finally finding Q-Q and raising in late position only to get three callers as both an Ace and a King hit the flop. Or when I finally flop a set with a baby pair, the turn fills a flush and I foolishly call all the way to the river because I can't let go of a set.
2. I'll get stuck in the slowest line as it inches forth every few minutes like a morose Russian bread line circa 1981.
Leon Black (Las Vegas Business & Politics Blog)By the way, if you still haven't done anything with your Party Poker bankroll, you should consider playing on another site before Neteller pulls the plug in a few months.
Predictability And The Roshambo Defense (Absinthetics)
Spiced (Mad Harper)
Zankou Baywatch and Malcom in the Middle Smokes Crack (Tao of Pauly)
Galactic Goes Hollywood (My music blog)
Jack Tripper Stole My Dog by Paul McGuire
My name is Ivan and I am a Russian cab driver from Brooklyn. I was born in Moscow and I lived there most of my life until I was drafted into the Red Army. I got shipped off to fight in Afghanistan. When I was injured in an ambush, I got sent home to Moscow. I was lucky. Most of my friends got sent home in body bags. I moved to New York City in 1982. I quit my job in Leningrad and my wife left me. She caught me having an affair with my boss' wife and his daughter. I did not love my wife. I was in love with her sister, but her sister committed suicide when she jumped off a building in our neighborhood.
I had no idea what to do. So I married my first wife. She was not a very good person. I was not happy. She smelled really bad and she couldn't cook. I was afraid that her father would kill me if I didn't marry her, so I did. After I cheated on her, my wife took my son back to Moscow and was going to tell her father, a well connected Captain in the police department. I knew I would be tortured or killed. I snuck out of Russia. It was actually a lot easier than you think. More people would do it if they had balls. Ah, they were afraid what would happen to them and their family if they were caught. The Party kept everyone in line with fear and intimidation. I was already afraid and I would rather face the Party than my father-in-law.
My brother Yuri was already here for a while. He found me part time work until I learned better English. I spoke very little when I lived in Brighton Beach. I painted apartments in Brooklyn and made no money but at least I had a job. That is how I met my second wife Olga. I painted her apartment. We both didn't speak English and my Ukrainian was not very good but Olga spoke perfect Russian. I never really liked her and kept seeing her because she was easy. After a couple of drinks, she would go down on me. Olga's visa was almost expired and she had no money to stay in America. I always suspected that she got pregnant on purpose so that she could stay in Brooklyn.
I would come home at night from my painter's job and drink as I watched my favorite TV shows. I learned English by watching The Brady Bunch, Bonanza, Good Times, and Taxi. When I learned to speak better English, Yuri said I should drive a cab. That's what he did when he came to America and he made good money. I had to send money home to Moscow for my son. I studied hard for the test and I got my hack license. I have been driving a cab ever since.
The job and the city is dangerous. So many times, my family begged me to quit my job after hearing about another cab driver killed in a robbery attempt. Olga told me to do other work but I hated working two jobs. I still have to do that today. I hate that I have to work every day of the week when everyone else in the city had weekends off. But Shitty job in America beats the best job in Siberia everyday of the week. A job is a job. All jobs suck. Some days I hate my job because I have to drive around rich assholes. But driving around New York is better than working in the factories in Leningrad. Driving a cab is better than being a soldier in the Red Army. It's better than working for my brother. I love New York City. Times Square. Central Park. Fifth Avenue by the museums. Chinatown. Greenwich Village. Williamsburg. Hamilton Heights. The Riverside Drive. The Brooklyn Bridge. SoHo.
I don't mind the traffic. I get to daydream and watch all the pretty women from all over the world. I like to watch people. If I am stuck in traffic, I look at people. This is the greatest city in the world to watch people.
America is a great place. I hear everybody complain about this country everyday. I hear people say, 'Fuck America!' and 'Fuck George Bush!' and I usually tell them 'If you don't like America, then leave! I will drive you to the airport.' Maybe if they live in Russia or in Mexico or in the Ukraine for one year, they might come back with a better attitude. I tell my wife that everyday. She is always unhappy. She always says she wants to go back home to the Ukraine. And some days, when I get really drunk I yell 'Go back to the farm, you pig!' It sounds funnier in Russian. I told her she should go home and I would pay for the ticket. And she does not.
Some days I am sad. This is a lonely city. I spent a lot of money to bring my son over here and he does not talk to me. He hates me. When he wants money, then he calls me. I have a daughter who sometimes drives me crazy and she doesn't talk to her mother. But I am happy when I am with my girlfriend. She makes me happy. She makes me feel special. Yes. I have a wife and a girlfriend. And no, my wife does not know about my angel. My little sex kitten. I met her many years ago. She went to school with my daughter. They are best friends. They used to be lovers.
My wife is having an affair herself. She has a lover too. And I know the guy. He works for my brother. In fact, I caught them a few hours ago. He was fucking my wife, while I was at work. I went home to take a shit and there they were.
I have been driving a cab for almost twenty years. I have been driving a limo too, on weekends for over ten years as well. I drive people from all over the world, from all kinds of jobs, and all kinds of problems. Sometimes when I drive the limo, I get a lot of people who think they are celebrities. They are the worst. They treat me like shit. They are very disrespectful. They always trash the limos. I have to clean up after them. Puke, piss, shit, cum, blood, you name it. In the cab, I meet famous people all the time.
Please don't tell anyone, but I drink while I drive. But I have been drinking vodka since I was nine years old. This is like water for me. I need it. New York is a strange city. Over the years a lot of weird stuff happened. These days, almost nothing shocks me anymore. I have seen it all. There are a lot of mentally disturbed people in this city. I had to drive pregnant ladies to the hospital. Four last year. An old woman had a heart attack in my cab a few months ago. She died. I saw a man get hit by a city bus last week.
Sometimes I get a hooker and her client and instead of getting a hotel room, she sucks his dick in the back seat of my cab. I used to hate it at first, but now I do not mind. Hookers always tip me better. Better than celebrities if you can believe that! Lots of blow jobs. I dunno what it is, but New Yorkers have a lot of oral sex in cabs. And I like to watch. I watch all the time...
Gracie's If I Were a Spice GirlIn the end, Gracie's essay stood out from the rest of the pack. She won first place and will get $25 and her essay will be published in the November issue of Truckin'. Here's her winning piece:
Change100's Which Do You Wannabe?
Iakaris' In late, but hopefully In Time
If I Were a Spice Girl by Gracie
"Dear God, you made many, many poor people.
I realize, of course, that it's no shame to be poor.
But it's no great honor either!
So, what would have been so terrible if I had a small fortune?"
- Zero Mostel, If I Were a Rich Man
If I were a spice girl,
ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I'd shake me little bum.
If I were a wee spice girl.
I wouldn't have to work hard.
I'd get my agent to sign a leedle weedle wee contract.
If I had a record company,
They could sign me up-a real-a quick.
I'd build a big story 'bout myself getting hit by
a taxi driving Miss Posh Spice.
A fine tale that will get media going
that will create grand gossip just going up,
and one reputation coming down.
With all those poor girls going nowhere, oh so fast.
I'd fill my yard with Posh and Ginger, and Scary,
and Baby for the world to see and hear.
Squawking Brit Pop as shrilly as they can.
And each loud, "I'll tell ya!" "What I want!" "What I really!" "Really want!"
would land like a trumpet on the ear,
as if to say, "Here lives the wee Spice Girls!"
If I were a Spice Girl,
ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I'd shake me little bum.
If I were smarter than those girls.
A modicum of talent.
Instead I'd make my very own small record company.
If I were a little clever, yes,
I'd show them all what could I really do.
I see my life, my fame, looking like a rich man's life
without scandal from within.
Supervising press unlike a soccer wife.
I see them putting on airs and strutting like a peacock
posing for some nudie magazine.
Posh and Ginger, Scary, Baby, yay not me!
The most important men in town would come to fawn on me!
They would ask me to fellate them,
as if I were Ginger Spice.
"If you please, Mel C...
"Pardon me, Mel C..."
Suggesting favors that would cross a Spice Girl's eyes!
And it won't make one bit of difference if I answer yes or no.
When you're rich, they think you'll swallow!
If I were rich, I'd have the time that I lack
to create and run Red Girl Records.
And maybe even release "Beautiful Intentions".
And I'd discuss the "Next Best Superstar" for several hours every day.
That would be the sweetest thing of all.
If I were a Spice Girl,
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I'd shake me little bum.
If I were a wealthy girl.
I'd kinda have to work hard.
Cause the leedle weedle, other girlies are so fucking dumb.
Lord who made the media machine
you decreed what it is I should become.
Would it spoil some vast eternal plan
if Sporty were the one who has the fun
"We all had such a wonderful time..." - Woody AllenThanks to Byron for hosting the WBPT Swollen Genitalia Night at Full Tilt, where Derek made the final table of the Razz event on his birthday of all days. And yes I sucked out on him on the final table. Derek finished in 5th as I took 3rd and made the money despite being shortstacked for the last hour of the tourney.
15/30 Limit Hold'em: I had been playing tight when I found 6-6 at the cutoff so I raised when the action got folded to me. The button (who had been playing a lot of hands) called and the big blind (who had been playing tight-aggressive) re-raised. I called along with the Button. The flop was a rainbow A-Q-6. Big blind opened up and I raised. The Button called and the big blind three bet. I capped it and the Button and big blind called. Big blind opened up again on the turn when another rag fell. I raised, the Button and big blind both called. On the river a Jack fell. Big blind checked, I bet and the Button raised. Big blind and I both called. "Who's got K-10?" I typed in the chat. Big blind had A-K, which I put him on. The Button showed J-J. I have no idea why he called all the way to the river with two overs on the board.Despite the lukewarm results at the 15/30 tables, I managed to cash out of Party Poker with one last score.
5/10 Pot Limit Omaha: Talk about a juiced hand even for PLO. With As-Kc-3s-3c, I limped in LP. Flop was Ks-4s-3h. One player bet 3/4 pot, another called and I raised the pot with bottom set and the nut flush redraw. Both called. On the turn, the case 3 fell which gave me quads. First player bet 1/2 the pot, second player raised all-in (we had him covered). We both called. On the river a King spiked and the board read K-4-3-3-K. The first player bet 1/2 pot, I moved all in and he called. The hands... player one showed 4-4-x-x for a full house fours over Kings. Second player showed A-A-x-x. And I busted two players with quads.
Title: WPBT#10: R is for RazzIn the Sunday Required Reading Section...
When: Sunday, Oct. 15th at 9PM EST
Where: Full Tilt
Buy-in: $20 + 2
(Download Full Tilt Poker here)
Truckin' - October 2006, Vol. 6, Issue 10
1. October Subway Stories by Paul McGuire
A hunched-over bum slowly navigated his way through the crowded car and sat down in an empty seat next to me. He carried a big black bulky garbage bag which happened to be the standard issue for every homeless person in the city along with the same pair of sneakers four sizes too big and a ratty grey winter coat... More
2. Roots - Part II by Doog
To soothe the ache deep in his soul, Leo G took solace in the welcoming arms of lovely young nubile chickadees, sometimes several sets of arms at the same time. After all, when you’ve got dashing good looks, a mercury-silver tongue, and the willingness to use the above in a less-than-moral manner, why not?... More
3. Gummy by C. Anderson Guthrie
This woman wasn't the kind of woman you bring home to momma, oh no -- she was the kind of woman that takes out her teeth before giving an alleyway blowjob. You know, the considerate type... More
4. Total Recall by Joe Speaker
I was grilling another young co-ed, flirtatious pressure amidst the stench of spilled beer and rampaging testosterone. The scene was cliched, she said, and she marked me down as a typical frat boy, interested only in getting drunk and getting naked... More
5. Until I Am No Longer Needed by Sean A. Donahue
My back felt the brunt of the pain and as the dust settled I examined my predicament. I was ten feet down in a hole of an ancient volcano with my right arm broken and my left leg shattered... More
Tao of Poker Essay Contest Rules and Regulations:That's it. Any questions? Shoot me an email. Best of luck.
1. Contest begins at now and ends
Friday 10.13.06Sunday 10.15.06 at Midnight Pacific Time.
2. Post your Spice Girls essay on your blog at any time between now and Sunday night's Midnight deadline.
3. Essay length should not be more than 666 words.
4. After you post your essay, shoot me an email and tell me the URL of your post.
5. Judging will take place next week by yours truly and Jessica, my assistant editor at Truckin'. We will announced next Friday.
6. Essays will be judged on originality, humor, and sincerity.
7. First place wins $25 and the option of having their essay published in a future issue of Truckin'. Second place gets a phone call from Daddy.
8. Failure to comply with any of the above rules will result in an automatic disqualification.
"Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do." - Bruce LeeI've lost 16 pounds since the Binge at the Boathouse. Not only was my birthday included in that four day bender, but also I managed to eat high off the hog at posh eateries such as the Palm in Manhattan or Bobby Flay's new steakhouse at the Borgata. With a three week bender scheduled for the end of October that will take me to the Left Coast and to Europe, I decided I needed to sober up, lose some weight, and get much needed exercise.
"Just for grins I shoved a hot pepper up my ass while I was jerking off. Pretty hot, but not hot enough to not try it yourself." - Daddy
The Rebel by Albert Camus
A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
The Tibetan Book of the Dead by W.Y. Evans-Wentz
Impossible Vacation by Spalding Gray
Sex and Death to the Age of 14 by Spalding Gray
Swimming to Cambodia by Spalding Gray
The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
Desolation Angels by Jack Kerouac
Visions of Cody by Jack Kerouac
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce
Fire by Sebastian Junger
Hunger by Knut Hamsun
One Flew Over the Cukoo's Nest by Ken Kesey
Identity by Milan Kundera
Killing Yourself to Live by Chuck Klosterman
Liar's Poker by Michael Lewis
Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami
The Media Is the Massage by Marshall McLuhan
Chinese Takeout by Arthur Nersesian
Dog Run by Arthur Nersesian
The Fuck-up by Arthur Nersesian
Manhattan Loverboy by Arthur Nersesian
Unlubricated by Arthur Nersesian
The Human Stain by Philip Roth
One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzhenitsyn
Sirens of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut
The Book On the Taboo of Against Knowing Who You Are by Alan Watts
The Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts
Bonfire of the Vanities by Tom Wolfe
The Painted Word by Tom Wolfe
On Writing Well by William Zisner
Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav
Generation S.L.U.T.: A Brutal Feel-up Session with Today's Sex-Crazed Adolescent Populace by Marty Beckerman
Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs
Last Words by William S. Burroughs
Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison
The Lexus and the Olive Tree by Thomas Friedman
The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell
The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway
Sometimes a Great Notion by Ken Kesey
The Portable Nietzsche by Walter Kaufman
Tropic of Cancer by Lenry Miller
Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole
Ulysses by James Joyce