Hilton Sisters Challenge 3


Pocket Queens... heaven or hell?
I'm going away for the weekend, up to Providence and Boston. Incidentially the bus to Providence stops at Foxwoods. Oh my. I'll be following The Dead over the next week. I'll be back in the city Sunday night and will update my blog(s). So... let's do it. How about another Hilton Sisters Challenge, eh? You got 36 hours. Can you do it?

Your mission: Holding QQ you must crack AA in any game on Party Poker (except a $5 or $10 SNG). The time period is from: Saturday July 31st from 12:01 am EST thru Aug 1st at Noon EST. Send me the hand history and make sure you type: Dr. Pauly loves Paris in the chat.

Your prize: An authentic Pauly painting. And if you are not into the visual arts, I'll send you an autographed copy of my latest, unpublished novel The Blind Kangaroo instead.

Super Bonus I: If you crack Al Can't Hang's AA with the Hilton Sisters, I will send you a Pauly Painting and a copy of the Paris Hilton sex tape, autographed by Al Can't Hang... of course.

Super Bouns II: If you crack Maudie B's AA with QQ, you get a copy of Finding Nemo on DVD in addition to a Pauly Painting.

Super Bonus III: If you crack Iggy's AA with QQ, you'll get a Pauly painting and a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon! And I'll send Iggy a case of Guinness.

Super Bonus IV: If you crack HDouble's AA with QQ, you'll get a Pauly painting and a copy of The Big Lebowski on DVD.

And in all fairness... if any of the bonus bloggers get their AA cracked this weekend, I'll send them a Pauly painting.

This contest is only open to poker bloggers (with the exception of NemoD, Jerry, and Landow). Some previous winner's included Chris Halverson and Bad Blood. You guys are eligible.

Best of luck. Good hunting. Hope the ladies bring you luck.

Truckin' July 2004 (Vol. 3, Issue 7)

I published the latest issue of Truckin'. Print up all the stories to take with you on your vacation. It's perfect reading for poolside lounging, or while waiting for a late flight, or in a long security line. I wrote three stories this month; another Miami story, a random short story, and a something inspired by my latest travel adventure. Richard Bulkeley (a.k.a. The Poker Penguin) gets intimate with an airport goodbye. Al Can't Hang returns with a third installment of Stories from the Bar. Tom Love flashes back to the late 1960s in Germany. NYC poet, Diane Roy adds her voice to the mix with an unusual, but gripping first part of her story. Otis B. Dart is the latest poker blogger to join the staff. Sigge, our friend from Norway, gets a little philosophical for us. Sit back, relax, and enjoy. Be kind, McG.

1. Sundrenched by Tenzin McGrupp

I wandered down past a bevy of lost souls repairing themselves in the hot, early afternoon Indiana sun... More

2. Words We Don't Have by Richard Bulkeley

It always amazes me the power that smells have to evoke memories and emotions and all the other stuff that our more rational senses filter out in darker moments... More

3. A Quarter's Quarter by Otis B. Dart

I had bankrolled her binge, so when she stood from her barstool, her feet were mushy. I thought her step toward the door indicated confusion, perhaps inebriation... More

4. Almost Stood Up by Al Can't Hang

She was drunk but was also young, beautiful, and way out of my league... More

5. My World Crumbled Like Chunk of Hash by Tom Love

It's 1969, I'm in the US Army, stationed in Stuttgart, Germany, smoking some of the most powerful hashish in the world... More

6. Amanda Dick by Tenzin McGrupp

Calls from Senor were rare. It was like getting a call from the Pope. You dropped everything you were doing and gave him your full attention... More

7. Perversion by Diane Roy

Smelling underwear was like kissing; you had to do it with your eyes closed. It's not really sincere any other way... More

8. Existentialistic Sunday by Sigge S. Amdal

You realize that more than half of what you've done in your life qualifies as 'mistakes.' That's one way of introducing yourself to an existentialistic Sunday. Or a hangover on the couch... More

9. Lacrecia by Tenzin McGrupp

We settled into a sidestreet cafe, one where we knew no tourists from Missouri with camcorders would stalk us, and began the process of drinking the bitter La Fee Verte... More

Karma Bums

"And the Dalai Lama says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consiousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice." - Carl Spackler, Caddyshack

It's been a weird couple of days on Party Poker.



My brother detailed his thoughts on a profitable the weekend on his blog Poker in the Weeds. On Saturday I sweated Chris Halverson as he outlasted the other bloggers in the $5 morning multi on Party Poker, daily at 10:30am. For $5 + $1 it's a good way to practice your tournament NL skills... for next to nothing. On Sunday, I cheered Maudie on after an impressive 246th place finish. I was tooling on one guy who lost with Big Slick to Maudie.

Over the weekend, I also got to play with Daddy from Snail Trax. He's into some similar interests (music and poker) and we got to meet at the Phish concert in Deer Creek. I'll be seeing him in Vermont in two weeks. Check out his blog. He posted a good review of The Dead show last week. Anyway, I got to play with him for the first time this weekend. I took down a big pot with QJ when he had KQ and I flopped two pair.

But the real action happened yesterday afternoon on Party Poker. Ugarte grinded his way to the money in a $5 multi, which he detailed in his latest entry: Ugarte's Poker Grovel #34, or Earning Minimum Wage.

I sweated Asphnxma from Riding the F Train. He's been a regular at Ferrari's home games this summer at the Blue Parrot. And he has the best poker blog you are not reading. Enough pimping. Mr. F Train had an impressive match in a $30 SNG where he came from behind with the smallest of short stacks to win the entire thing. At one point, when it was three way, I actually accussed one guy for dumping chips to the third player. It was odd. I think he was trying to pick her up or something. It didn't matter. Asphnxma kicked ass and took down first place.

Straight Flush Avenue

I found a NL ring table and quickly Daddy joined me. I went back to my hit and run strategy and limited my play online. Within a few hands, Asphnxma joined the mix to witness a rare feat.

Dealt to Dr. Pauly [ 3d, 5d ]
TarXXX calls (0.50)
SnailTrax calls (0.50)
Dr. Pauly calls (0.50)
CoyXXX calls (0.25)
Jaqxxx checks.

My brother tooled on me for limping in on the button with gaping low cards, because that would be something I'd get on his case for doing.

** Dealing Flop ** : [ 4d, As, 7d ]
TarXXX bets (2)
Dr. Pauly calls (2)

I have no idea why I called. I guess I put the guy on an ace and knew I had a few outs. Before the card was dealt, I realized I had an inside straight flush draw. I wasn't paying attention to detail and caught that after I called on the flop. I screamed for the 6d.

** Dealing Turn ** : [ 6d ]
TarXXX checks.
Dr. Pauly checks.

My investmment in good karma paid off after I gave the bum on the subway $1 on my way home from Ferrari's on Monday. This is the perfect time to sand bag and hope he catches a good river card.

** Dealing River ** : [ Td ]
TarXXX bets (5)
Dr. Pauly: i think u are bluffin
Dr. Pauly raises (15) to 15
TarXXX calls (10)

I put him on the Ad. He got the flush but I think I goaded him into calling with that stupid comment of mine in the chat. With two poker bloggers at the table, I dramatically let all my time click down before I raised. I was afraid that he's have the Kd or Qd and if I push it all-in he would have folded, thinking I had the Ad.

** Summary **
Board: [ 4d As 7d 6d Td ]
TarXXX lost $17.50 [ 9d Ah ] [ a flush, ten high -- Td,9d,7d,6d,4d ]
Dr. Pauly collected $34.70 [ 3d 5d ] [ a straight flush, seven high -- 7d,6d,5d,4d,3d ]

Oh yeah! At the time I thought he had the A high flush. It wasn't until today that my brother pointed out that he made even a worse call with just a Ten high flush. I made the proper size bet, as Phil "Gordo" Gordon would say.

Afternoon Quads

Upon hearing about my Quads this afternoon on Party Poker,Al Can't Hang sent me this IM: Which poker gods were you praying to today?

NL ring table. I called a preflop raise from the button. I only had A8s, but he was loose and I put him on a position raise. The LB called.

Dealt to Dr. Pauly [ Ac, 8c ]
** Dealing Flop ** : [ 7d, As, 8s ]
MerXXX bets (3)
Dr. Pauly raises (6) to 6
MerXXXcalls (3)

** Dealing Turn ** : [ 8d ]
MerXXX bets (3)
Dr. Pauly raises (6) to 6
MerXXX calls (3)

** Dealing River ** : [ 8h ]
MerXXX bets (0.50)
Dr. Pauly raises (20) to 20
MerXXX calls (19.50)

** Summary **
Board: [ 7d As 8s 8d 8h ]
Dr. Pauly collected $67.50 [ Ac 8c ] [ four of a kind, eights -- Ac,8c,8s,8d,8h ]
MerXXX lost $34 [ Ad Jd ] [ a full house, Eights full of aces -- Ad,As,8s,8d,8h ]

I should have pushed her all-in on the river. I only bet $20 because I thought she was going to move all-in.

Call it karma, divine intervention, luck of the Irish, or sheer genius... I caught some cards in the last 48 hours on Party Poker. I hoped to end July on a positive note and this might be it. Just like Keroauc said...

"Yeah man, you know to me a mountain is a Buddha. Think of the patience, hundreds of thousands of years just sitting there bein perfectly perfectly silent and like praying for all living creatures in that silence and just waiting for us to stop all our frettin and foolin."

Give your local homeless person a $1 today. Karmic flops to follow.

A Penguin's Journey


Dr. Pauly with the Poker Penguin (courtesy of the Poker Hermit)

First of all, belated birthday greetings to the Poker Penguin. If you don't know, he's leaving New Zealand and heading off to Canada. That means he is putting his poker blog on hiatus. However, he also has a regular blog, which he says he will be updating from time to time. That is called: Years of the Sheep, Days of the Tiger.

Yeah, The Poker Penguin is one of my favorite writers in bloggerdom. I invited him to write for my blogzine Truckin' and since he submitted his first piece... he hasn't missed a deadline. The last few issues have been anchored by his stories, and for that I am grateful. Collaboration between artists is something that does not always work... but in this case, he was a great addition to the roster of Truckin' authors.

I anticipate that his new experiences will only make him a better writer, and I look forward to publishing some of his zany adventures in Canada, and if he can get to America... a Vegas weekend with the Penguin and yours truly would make history.

Godspeed, Penguin.

A Tribute

Andy Glazer Followed His Dreams is a touching tribute written by Phil Hellmuth.

Territorial Pissing: Another NYC Home Game

"Don't piss on my back and tell me it's raining." - Coach

Speaking of urine, I dated a girl once who had a pissing fetish. After sex she always wanted me to take a leak on her. Of course all this took place in the shower. I'm not a complete pervert. Who in their right mind pisses on their girlfriend in the middle of the living room?

Oooops, I think I cut and paste a story I was working on for the website: Pissing Tales.

Where was I? Poker. Yeah, poker. Signor Ferrari hosted another game on Monday night. It was a packed house at the Blue Parrot with some familiar faces and some new ones. The bankroll was looking thinner than a strung out model from Prague. I was hoping to build on the last few winning sessions at the Monday night games. Ferrari had on the (yawn) Democratic National Convention in the background. In between hands, I would throw out crude sexual references when both Hillary and Bill spoke. The highlights? None. I dropped $178 in a little over four hours... a losing rate of over $41/hour for you math wizards. In just four hands alone, I lost over $230. You could fly roundtrip from JFK to Vegas right now on Jet Blue for the same amount. I'm lucky I only lost $178. It was one of those nights when my full house lost to quads. I didn't play too bad, even with the usual two or three bonehead plays. I ended up with second best hand most of the night. And it sucked because I was playing tighter than ever. And the only few times I won pots were in Omaha hi/lo.

The Players:
Seat 1: Asphnxma from Riding the F Train
Seat 2: Adam (late arrival)
Seat 3: Joel
Seat 4: Signor Ferrari
Seat 5: Nicholas
Seat 6: Charlie (late arrival)
Seat 7: Ugarte (late, late arrival after his stand-up gig)
Seat 8: Coach
Seat 9: Dr. Pauly

7:54pm EST... +10. I took down two small pots in consecutive hands AJ and A9s in $2-4 Hold'em.

8:15pm EST... -58. Anaconda. Ana-fuckin-conda. I should have known better trying to win the low with anything less than the Wheel. My A2347 lost to Ferrari's A2456.

8:34pm EST... -75. Heads up with Nicholas in Hold'em, after I called his preflop raise with Mrs. Slick, AQ. The flop: A-10-x. And I got check raised on the turn when another ace hit. I had the bad feeling that Nicholas flopped two pair and hit his full boat. Like a fish flopping around Party Poker, I called all the way down to the river with a lousy set, losing to a full boat Aces over 10s.

8:41pm EST... -60. AKs in the BB. I raised and got Adam to call. The flop: QQ7. The turn: Q. The river: Q. Adam raised on the turn and I called. I had to put him on a 7. He would have checked quads. When the case Queen hit the river, I knew I had the best hand, and at worst would chop the pot. I beat out Adam's 5-7s. Four Qs on the flop? We were getting Party Poker flops all night.

8:50pm EST... -100. My KK lost to Adam's 22 when he flopped a set. At the last home game, my AA were cracked by Ferrari's 22. Not even playing for an hour, I sheepishly dug into my wallet to pull out a $50 bill. A rebuy in the first hour meant that I'd have to play flawless if I wanted to break even at the end of the night.

9:03pm EST... Razz was called for the first time in months. Coach had A2/3 and lost to Joel after he caught running Kings on fifth and sixth street.

9:20pm EST.. -110. Joel was on a rush, winning pots left and right. I raised with AJ in LP. Asphnmxa, on the button, joked around that I only did that because everyone folded. I ended up winning a heads up pot with Joel, who made a loose call with K2 in the BB.

9:36pm EST... -51. A round of Omaha hi/lo saved me when I scooped the entire pot with A-2-4-10. The board was A37J7. Another win and in less than an hour since the rebuy, I won $100 back.

10:01pm EST... -60. Mo Rivera blew a save against the Blue Jays, but the Yanks win in extra innings. The guys make fun of Hillary as she speaks. By the time Slick Willy hits the stage, I'm down 75.


Monica flopped my nuts a few times.
10:28pm EST... -30. Another round of Omaha hi/lo. I limped in LP with KdKsJs7d. The board: 2h3h10c. Coach jammed the pot on the flop, so I had to be careful. He almost always has all four cards working for him. Low draw? Flush draw? Both? I called his raise (I put him on the A4 with the ace of hearts). I felt confident that KK was the best hand at that point despite a few others who called. The turn: 9. I had more outs with an inside straight draw. The pot was raised at some point and that didn't scare out any people drawing for the low. The river: 8. Booo-ya! I hit my straight and was confident I had the winner. Sure QJ would beat me, but I put everyone on low cards. Coach bet and I raised. Everyone folded and Coach hesitated. He reluctantly called and showed his set of twos. He had 2235 with some suited cards in there. Huge pot. I love scooping monster pots in Omaha hi/lo, especially when there's no qualifying low and at least two or three people called three bets all the way to the river.

10:39pm EST... +10. What? Yes, I stormed back. Down $130 at one point, a fortunate swing put me up for the first time since the initial round of Hold'em. I flopped a set in Omaha hi/lo with 5536 in the BB and luckily got the low too, to scoop the entire pot. Joel was still on his rush and was the chip leader with Coach. Charlie won a few pots after he arrived a little late. Ferrari was quiet most of the night.

10:50pm EST... -50. Anaconda again. I had 9s full of 8s and Like a idiot, I tired to bluff my way to the declare showing a possible four of a kind. I showed 9989. Ferrari had 5554. And Joel had AQAQ. I should have folded on fourth street but called all the way to the river. I thought Ferrari was bluffing his quads, but Joel wasn't going to fold and no way I could beat his full house. I was fucked and bailed out. Poor decision making cost me almost $60 in that one hand. After the hand, Asphnxma told me he could have passed me the case 9 or a J... and passed me the J. D'oh!

Bluffing a Hammer Bluff with the Hammer

10:59pm EST... Huh? It was a wicked hand. I had the Hammer in the BB. Asphnxma limped in UTG. Adam raised and we both called. The flop: Q-8-10. I checked, Asphnxma bet, Adam called, and I folded. I dunno what hit on the turn, but Adam quickly folded as Asphnxma went for his chips. He flipped over... the Hammer! Astonished, shocked, and in a state of disbelief, I dug into the muck and showed him my Hammer. Ouch. Out bluffed with the Hammer... when I had the Hammer. Only at a table with poker bloggers will you find that nonsense. Somewhere out there, Grubby silently rejoiced. Ugarte wandered in after a not-so-positive stand-up performance and at that point, we had a full table.

11:10pm EST... -150. Stud hi/lo. By fifth street, Joel has xx/22J. I got 8dQd/Kc-Ad-8h. I put Joel on a set and called his raise. I got another Ace on sixth street. Joel raised again and I continued to call. On seventh street I caught a full house with another 8. Joel jammed the pot. OK, maybe he had a full boat, but did he have Jacks over 2s, or 2s over Jacks? I called and expected to see a pair of Jacks, instead he turned over 22 for his quads. He got dealt 2-2/2-2. Unreal. I should have folded on fourth street. That bonehead move cost me over $90. My second rebuy of the night ensued. Another $50 bill escaped from my wallet.

11:31pm EST... -197. I lost a big pot. My low hand was not as good as Nicholas' in Stud hi/lo. I had to rebuy $20 from Ugarte.

11:43pm EST... -175. I won a nice sized pot with Mrs. Slick, AQ in LP against Ferrari who raised then reraised preflop. The flop: AKQ. I liked my chances. I caught my full boat on the river when another Q fell.

11:52pm EST... Asphnxma slowplayed AK against Joel's KQs. The flop: KQ3. Asphnxma caught an ace on the river.

The game ended shortly just after Midnight. And I didn't get a chance to win my money back late night. Normally we play until past 3am. One night I didn't get home to way past 4:20am. But Ferrari had to close the Blue Parrot a little early. Coach was the big winner.

The Final Tally:
Coach +108
Joel +93
Charlie +38
Ugarte +35
Asphnxma +20
Ferrari +50 cents
Nicholas -27
Adam -75
Dr. Pauly -178

Bad calls, losing to quads, and making fun of Hillary. Just another Monday night at the Blue Parrot. And because Ugarte won, the poker gods blessed him with clear skies. The last eight times I played at Ferrari's, it rained. Cats and dogs kinda rain. Sure it sucked dropping $178, but I was glad I didn't have to walk to the subway station in a downpour, with my head down, replaying and rewinding all the losing hands in my head.

I gave $1 to a bum telling bad jokes on the uptown subway. The clincher was this gem: What did the mother say to Michael Jackson at the beach? Get out of my son.

Ugarte and Asphnxma both have mini write ups of the game. I would have written this up sooner, but I misplaced my notes. Obviously I found them. Here's what Asphnxma blogged about my chicken scratch note taking during the game:

Ugarte has challenged me to do a write-up of Monday night's Blue Parrot game. Normally, I would leave that to Pauly, but he can't seem to find his notes. Frankly, I looked at his notes before the game broke Monday night, and I'm not sure how much help they would be even if he DID find them.

My madness, there is a method to it. Sometimes. Just think from a small sliver of paper with obscure symbols and markings, I created this write up.

Support a Small Business Owner!


Binga's Wingas... the best wings in Maine!
OK, Binga's Wingas is owned an operated by one of my brother's good friends in Portland, Maine. They have two different locations. If you are in Maine on your summer vacation, stop by and get a Grilled Chicken Death wrap. Those rock. The wings kick ass too. They might be the best chicken wings in New England and they are always open late.

11 Questions: Poker Bloggers Edition

I had been doing a running theme on my other blog for a while called 11 Questions, where I post and answer questions asked by a specific group of people. This instance, I'm recruiting your questions... fire away.

Here are sample of the last several batches:

1. The First Batch
2. Norway Questions
3. Texas Questions
4. My Fraternity Brothers Speak
5. The Infamous Senor Edition
6. May 2004

Here are some of my favorites questions. My answers are even funnier!

J-Lo. Or Gwyneth Paltrow?
What is the lifespan for frogs?
What are your thoughts on Ally McBeal?
Do Green M&Ms make you horny?
What would you porn name be? And why do women wear shoes (while they are stark naked) in porn movies?
Do blondes have more fun?
What is your view on air rage, pro or con? A couple of years back an intoxicated investment banker defecated on the beverage cart in First Class, do you feel that was justified?
What was Senor doing in Asia the last year?
Which poker blogger drinks the most?
Where do goldfish go when they die?
If you could have sex with Katie Holmes, but had to give up poker... OR.... you could have sex with Elisha Cuthbert, but you had to give up writing... which would you do and why? (You have to pick one.)

What do you want to know?

Big Loss...

Poker content coming soon. I dropped $178 in a home game last night at the Blue Parrot. I misplaced my notes. As soon as I find them, I'll finish up the write up. Maybe by tomorrow morning the latest. I hope I didn't lose it on the subway last night.

A Message from Haley

This almost brought a tear to my eyes. It's definitely blogworthy. Here's something that Haley just posted in my comments:

I know you very well and aside from one other exception, I've never seen you so upset. Don't give up, McG!

This might seem trivial to some of you--but not for Pauly. He puts his heart into every word he writes. He doesn't have to share, but he does, without compensation and doesn't hold back. He isn't hiding behind an online character that is made up. He is as genuine in real life as he appears on his websites. Those of you who met him after forming a strong relationship online will tell you that is 100% true.

Some of you have become friends with him and know that having him in your life is a sincere blessing.

Some of you have been inspired by his words and started your own sites, and the rest of us are entertained by his unique outlook on all things in life, including poker.

If anything, Pauly is standing up today on an issue that at some point will affect every single one of you. Internet piracy is a fact that bloggers have to deal with. You should be thanking him for putting himself on the front line because tomorrow these same greedy lower forms of life with steal your content and make money off of your work.

I wish I had 2% of the passion Pauly has for writing that I could have for acting. I don't. His passion is so strong that I am afraid he is deadly serious about walking away from blogging.

I don't know what else to say. This is an ugly situation, and I'm sorry you're stuck in the middle of it. As an artist I will respect your decision to choose the proper path for your writing. As a friend, fan, and student of yours, I pray that you able to find a middle ground where you can feel comfortable with sharing your writings.

You touch people all over this world with your words. This is another one of your gifts. Please, don't let that go.

Thanks Haley, for your kind words and support.

Check and Raise Assholes... Update #1

A few developments. I got in contact with someone from the site and we started talking. He admitted to some things.

The facts:
1. A writer was contracted by the new poker site... and he stole content from the Tao of Poker.
2. The site paid for the stolen content.
3. The site published said content and passed it off as their own work.

OK, they wrote back fairly quickly. I assume it was from the slew of angry emails he got from my brother and fellow poker bloggers (thanks guys, you rule!). Or perhaps it was just a public relations move. Regardless, he contacted me.

More facts:
1. The list was removed.
2. I was finally asked permission for use of my orginial content.

I am glad that when I stood up and voiced my thoughts on the unfairness of the situation, I was answered. Am I overreacting? I don't think so. I like to fix leaks right away. If today someone steals my links and I let it slide, then someone will come along tomorrow and steal actual content. Appeasement never works. I'm letting everyone know now... that is not going to happen. I hope to end all this very soon.

Alas, this is still not over because I have a problem. The guy handling this matter will not give me the name and contact info of the wanker who stole from the Tao of Poker. That is very uncool. My contact said he admired my work (he claimed to be a fellow writer and journalist) but I cannot believe that he threw all artistic integrity out the window when he hid beind faux business ethics and protects a business associate... a known thief. His company's credibility was erased the moment they purchased stolen intellectual property and disrespected me.

And now they won't give me the name of the punk who started all this mess. Why are they protecting him? I think he needs to be outed for the inept hack that he truly is. He was so stupid, he didn't even bother to mix up the links a little. I'm shocked someone hired that nimrod. The idiot stole my stuff... and if he gets another chance, he'll steal from you too. This needs to end. And by spreading his bad name around, we'll be showing everyone that they need to respect other people's property and any attempt to gain monetary compensation for stolen property will be dealt with in a swift and harsh manner.

Bottom line: watch what you steal.

Whoever the thief is... be a man, and fess up to your act of cowardice.

Check and Raise Assholes

So some dudes put up a new poker site and want to include a nice list of poker blogs. Fine, more support for us. But these guys really pissed me off.

1. They stole the list of blogs from the Tao of Poker.

How do I know this? Because on their site, it matches up identically to how my blogs are listed (prior to two weeks ago when I cleaned them up and added a few new links). Iggy and my brother are at the top. Who includes my poker bloggers flog to their list of poker links? I'm the only one who has it linked up.

2. The webmaster from the new site stole content from my blog and didn't even have the common courtesy to link up my site, after they ripped off the blogger list.

That's how I know they snagged the links from my site... why would I list my own blog in a list of poker blogs on the Tao of Poker?

You guys didn't think I'd notice? Whoever is running that site, be a real man and contact me, instead of a hack who rips off other people's content because they are too lazy to do the work themselves. I know you visit my site because you obviously stole my links. So if you are checking back... this entry is dedicated to you.

You can contact them: on this page. Please send them you thoughts on the matter. I'm too pissed off right now to tell`them how I really feel. The bastards.

I am asking all my fellow bloggers to boycott a link back to their site. I don't even care if they clear up the mess and add my link. I don't want to be associated with thieves like those two bit idiots. Assholes. If you've linked them up, I kindly ask you to remove their link. If I discover that you are playing on their site when it eventually opens up, I will show up to your hometown and remove your fingernails with rusty pliers, one by one.

I write for free, dammit. I'm insulted because if the assholes over at that poker site would have asked for the links, I would have said... OK... and pimped the site. If I wanted to get stabbed in the back or fucked over, I would work in Hollyweird or go back to Wall Street. I have always put writing first. That's what this site is all about. I'm sharing my poker stories. For free. I've lost jobs, family, friends, relationships... you name it, for putting writing first. I've made sacrifices to get where I'm at... and walked away from huge sums of money and chosen a path of rejection and borderline poverty just to follow my heart and write every day. For free. And it's like getting kicked in the balls when someone steals from something you put hours of time and effort into. I don't know what else to say.

Wait, I do know what to say... it's instances like this that make me want to pull the plug on all of my sites, and walk away from blogging altogether. If some two bit con artist is ripping off my links, who's to say no one has stolen any of my short stories and poetry and other ramblings... and passed it off as their own work?

This was a risk I accepted when I started blogging. But is it worth it anymore? Right now, it's not. I will be taking the next few days to think about whether or not I am going to pull the plug on everything.

Poker in the Weeds

My brother updated his blog Poker in the Weeds. Take a peek at his latest online adventures at Party Poker.

I'll be back tomorrow with an insightful post. Well, maybe not that insightful. It will be entertaining to say the least.

Side Truth?

I did manage to write something this morning which I posted to my politically themed blog This Side of the Truth. Be sure to take a peek at the latest entry called: The Yawn on the Horizon. And don't miss last Wednesday's piece called: Vote for My Daddy, Sock Boy.

Blogger Holiday, Donkey Boy, and Other Ordinary Tales of Madness

I am on a weekend holiday. I won't be blogging on any of my sites until Sunday night. Check back then for the next new entry. I am out of town for a bit. After a few conversations with concerned friends, I am trying to avoid blogger burnout by taking a few days off every now and then. I'm a litte mentally drained after the launch of my poli-blog This Side of the Truth and a lot of work on the next issue of Truckin' (due out Monday)... and add to the mix writing for two daily blogs, as well as working on other literary projects, you got a writer who needs a breath of fresh air. Two days off will do wonders for my creative juices. I might sneak on to play a few hands of Party Poker, but I will avoid the computer the rest of the time.

Week 10: Pauly-BG Challenge

And the winner is... me! Boy Genius got 5 out of 12 possible points... he needed 7 to win. And that puts me ahead 6-4 after 2.5 months of prop bets. He almost guessed Lance Armstrong's correct time, off by just 41 seconds, but the WNBA games killed him, after picking just 2 out of 6 correct winners. I'll be awaiting next week's wager!


Poker champ... Ben Affleck
By the way, I forgot to mention that my buddy Ben Affleck won the California State Poker Championships and $350,000! Yes, everyone's favorite whipping boy outlasted a field of solid veterans and pros to gut out a nice victory and an automatic seat at the World Poker Tour Championships next April. Here's a bit of the article:

A new chapter in poker history was written tonight at Commerce Casino when, for the first time, a major open tournament was won by a film celebrity. Playing a very strong game, relaxed and obviously enjoying himself immensely, actor Ben Affleck took down the championship event of 2004 California State Poker Championship, $9,900 + $100 no-limit hold'em, winning $356,400 and a $25,000 seat in next April's Bellagio/WPT championship event.

His final opponent was journeyman pro Stan Goldstein. Finishing third was another show business figure, film/TV producer Chuck Pacheco, who finished 41st in this year's WSOP championship. Between them, Affleck and Pacheco (and sweater Toby Maguire) attracted probably the largest entourage for any poker tournament.

In a brief speech, Affleck said he got lucky and complimented Goldstein as a great player. Afterwards, he said he was also pleased that he didn't win by just sucking out and showed he wasn't a "complete donkey." He indeed had the best hands when he knocked out Pacheco (5-5 vs. Ac-Qc) and Goldstein (J-J vs. Ad-10d).

Congrats to Ben. I totally forgot to say something about his first tournament win. He had gotten a lot of shit after he lost to the gay guy from Sex in the City on last season's Celebrity Poker Letdown. I hope it doesn't go to this head.

Random Madness

I played for a little bit on Party Poker. I was eager to jump right into the waters after posting a decent win the night before. My session was filled with ups and downs, but I maanged to eek out a win... so that's two positive days in a row. Again that's something to build on. Be back soon.

The Taste of Victory

"The banality of everyday life becomes edible when you recklessly attempt to gamble on the outcome of otherwise meaningless events." - Me

Victory. It still tastes like chicken. It had been weeks since I actually had a triple digit winning day online! I scorned the cash out curse after slowly liquidating my Party Poker bankroll before my two week Phishin' trip in mid June. When I got back in July, there was only a little left to tinker around with. I was playing way below the necessary bankroll needed to absorb any nasty swings, horrible bad beats, and the everyday insanity in the poker world. With every losing session in July, I was a step closer to the dreaded rebuy on my credit card. That's what degenerate gamblers do... reload using Visa. Real poker players gut it out and scratch together a few solid wins and pull themselves out of the dark, desolate abyss known as the rebuy. Sure, my bankroll still isn't anywhere close to a place of comfort... but at least I gained momentum, and I'm charging up the mountain, instead of sliding down head first with a slew of mathematically impossible suck outs and poor plays following me like a trail of dust and debris.

I won a $20 SNG yesterday. It was big for me. Money is money. But after a series of questionable fishy calls from yours truly, I started to doubt my poker play. And when you work on a high wire, the worst thing for you to do... is look down. Logging out of Party Poker after a winning session... is like swallowing a handful of happy pills. You cannot help but feel excited, good, and warm and fuzzy inside. For the first time in weeks, my head hit the pillow knowing that I was finally a winning player... albeit for just a day... but that's enough to get your fledgling confidence back. I can't wait to play today.

Yeah, despite the rumors... I am not a rich man and I am not sitting on a hefty bankroll. Sure I made some money in the stock market, but who hasn't? Alas, I don't have the neurotic, chain-smoking daughter of a semi-famous actress to mooch off of anymore. I scratch by, living day to day, without steady employment... and that's by my choice. I ditched the glitzy world of designer suits, $9 shoe shines, and 8am sales meetings for a less stable, rambunctious bohemian lifestyle and I don't have any regrets. Sure, I lost most of my bankroll in Las Vegas this past April and slowly built it up after a solid May of utilizing my new philosophy of hit and run poker. $20 win here. $40 win there. That all added up. The first two weeks of June were insane... I was still on a rush and was kicking ass in the $20 SNGs. All the fish on Party Poker helped pay for my Phish trips, tickets, party favors, rental cars, motels, and everything else. Fitting, eh?

And that's where I'm at right now. I'm trying to raise money for a series of trips. I have a few concerts to see this summer. The Dead are around the East Coast... the final five Phish concerts... then Atlantic City in September and Vegas in December. Historically, I have always supplemented my income by gambling. Wall Street was gambling with other people's money. All those cool trips I've taken in the last decade... were all paid by the bad fortunes of others. I've always tried to parlay my gambling luck into travel money which eventually gave me more perspective, more experiences, and more material to draw on as a writer. Has gambling made me a better writer? That's hard to say. But there's a definite correlation and relationship between the two. And this site is the illegitimate offspring of both of those passions... gambling and writing.

Some days I am really stuck in a bind. Part of me wants to consolidate my entire poker bankroll.... cash and online accounts... and buy that ticket to somewhere exotic and sit down to write my next two novels back to back. Right now... that's all a pipe dream. So it's back to the grind. Hit and run wins. The fish will pay for my Phish tickets this summer. When the weather gets really cold, when the football season ends, and when the snow gently falls... maybe then I'll think about that apartment in Paris or that houseboat in Amsterdam or that sandy beach somewhere where you get to sip on drinks with little green umbrellas.

Victoire. Il goute encore comme le poulet.

Make or Break Hands

I dug through my notes this morning and figured out the last five winning hands and last five losing hands... in decent sized pots.

Last 5 Losing Hands:
1. K8 (BB) to A8s
2. AKs to 10-9
3. AQ to 99
4. A-10 to KQ
5. AK (UTG) to QQ

Last 5 Winning Hands:
1. AJ beat K-10
2. JJ beat AQ (when I hit my four of a kind!)
3. QQ beat A-10s
4. AA beat KQs
5. AKs beat KQ

I was the underdog in three of the losing hands, with two bad beats. And in all my winners, I had the better hand perflop.

Les Idiots Rob Paris Casino... Forget About WPT Event in Next Room

It's funny because it's true. There was a daylight robbery at the Aviation Club in Paris. Here's what happened:

It was daylight robbery at the casino, but it was the owners, not the players, who were relieved of their cash.

Two masked gunmen burst into the Aviation-Club de France casino on the Champs Elysees on Tuesday, ordered staff and players to lie on the floor and raided the tills. They then fled with 76,000 euros (50, 700 pounds) in a stolen refrigerated truck, police said.

The robbery failed to disrupt an international poker championship being staged at the casino -- for much higher stakes. Police said that at the time casino regulars were gambling and drinking during an interlude in the competition.

Over 200 poker players, half of them from the United States, have been meeting in Paris since Saturday for the Grand Prix de Poker de Paris, a competition on the World Poker Tour.

The competition resumed after the robbery and was set to end during the night, a casino spokeswoman said. The winner takes home between 600,000 and 700,000 euros -- nearly 10 times as much as the robbers got.

Jacks du Jour

Last night on Party Poker, I was having a not-so-hot session until Studio Glyphic sat down at my NL table. Things started to pick up and I won my first pot in a very long time. A few minutes later, Stinkypants joined the mix.... which was good because I had two poker blogger witness my quads Jacks!

I raised to $2 in EP. One caller... kinda loose. I put him on a middle pair, A-suited-small, or face cards. The flop: J-10-K. I hit my set. I was worried if he had KK or AQ. I would be beat for sure. I had to be concerned if he had an Ace and I let him catch his Broadway staright for free... so I didn't want to check-raise or slow play. Maybe he had KQ... with top pair and an open-ended straight draw? It's Party Poker... anything is possible... so the guy could be sitting on Q9o. I bet $7 to see if he had a better hand than me. He called... which concerned me. No raise or fold. Hmmmm. On a draw? Sandbagging a set of Kings or the straight? The turn: J. I spiked my quads. How do I play that? Slow play or bet out? Once at Foxwoods, I flopped quad Jacks and slow played... only to lose to quad Queens when the idiot caught runner runner to beat me. I didn't want him to catch a case King... just in case he was holding one of them in his hand. I bet $5 and he raised to $10! I moved all-in ($11+ rest of my stack... he had me covered by $10) and he called. A rag hit the river and everyone saw my four of a kind.

What did he have? AQ. He flopped a straight and made the mistake not moving all-in. I probably would have called after flopping a set... but who knows?

Bad Beat of the Day: AKs cracked by 10-9o. I raised 6x BB preflop and got one caller. I bet out on the flop when I had top pair and the nut flush draw. Never improved my hand on the turn, moved all-in and was called. He hit his two pair on the river.

Week 10: BG-Pauly Gamble-a-thon

We have reached the tenth week of the BG-Pauly Challenge. I hold the slight edge 5-4 overall. We have wagered on everything from VP nominees to celebrity deaths to box office numbers to guessing the height and weigth of fellow poker bloggers. Indeed, we'll bet on anything. This week, BG shifted the focus back to sports as we gambled on different prop bets involving the MLB all star game. I shall continue the sports route as we venture into gambling on women's basketball and cycling.

Week 10: Out of 12 possible points... you need to acquire 7 to win this bet. You will be picking winners (without spreads, straight up) of six WNBA games and trying to guess Lance Armstrong's lead/deficit in the Tour de France after the completion of Stage 17.

You get 1 point for each correct WNBA games. (Max 6 points)

Wed. July 21
Connecticut at Detroit
San Antonio at Phoenix
Washington at LA Sparks

Thu. July 22
Indy at Seattle
Minnesota at Connecticut
Phoenix at Sacramento

The Tour de France hits the Alps this week and that's where Lance Armstrong is at his best.

You get the following points guessing Lance Armstrong's lead/deficit (what you think he's up or behind (e.g. +3:45 = ahead in first place or -0:35 = behind thirty-five seconds):

6 points: exact score
5 points: within 1 to 15 seconds
4 points: within 16 to 30 seconds
3 points within 31 to 45 seconds
2 points: within 46 to 60 seconds
1 point: within 61 to 90 seconds

If Lance is ahead by 3:05 and you guess +2:30, you get 3 points. You can get points if you over shoot. Let's say you picked +3:30, then you get 4 points.

The Alps:
July 20, Stage 15: Valreas > Villard-de-lans
July 21, Stage 16: Bourg-d'oisans > L'Alpe-d'Hueuz
July 22, Stage 17: Bourg-d'oisans > Le Grand-Bornard

Best of luck. Send me your 6 WNBA picks and the Lance Armstrong's time after Stage 17 by Midnight, Monday.

Previous Weekly Prop Bets:
Week 1: Celebrity deaths (Pauly 1, BG 0)
Week 2: Shrek 2's Memorial Day weekend grosses (Pauly 1, BG 1)
Week 3: Height & weight of poker bloggers (Pauly 2, BG 1)
Week 4: Combinded Grateful Dead shows seen by Maudie & Iggy (Pauly 2, BG 2)
Week 5: What won't BG Eat? (Pauly 3, BG 2)
Week 6: Roadtrip: What cities did I see Phish or the Dead? (Pauly 3, BG 3)
Week 7: Who will last longer in the Sat. morning tournament? (Pauly 4, BG 3)
Week 8: Who will Kerry pick as his VP? (Pauly 4, BG 4)
Week 9: Baseball All Star Game prop bets (Pauly 5, BG 4)

This will give me a good excuse to watch the WNBA.

Sunday Morning Party
 
I played in another multi-table poker tournament online at Party Poker. I wanted to improve on yesterday's crappy finish. This morning a few bloggers were playing including Al Can't Hang, My brother, and Maudie. 1273 players registered with over $6000 in prize money. First place paid $1273. Second place was $744. First 120 places make the prize money. My best finish to date: 47th!
 
Before the first break, Al Can't Hang was the first to bail out in 811th place. My brother ran out to a nice chip lead (among the bloggers). A few bad beats later, he was barely ahead of Maudie and myself. I played extremely conservative... folding playable hands in favor of letting all the maniacs knock themselves out early. Over half the field gets kncoked out in the first hour and I wanted to survive that onslaught. I played two hands... 77 and AK.
 
The hand before the first break I had KQ in the big blind. I flopped top pair and moved all-in. It was an agressive move, but since I was just recently moved to a new table, I wanted everyone to know that they shouldn't mess around with my stack. You better have a hand if you want to play with me. That pot helped put me over T1000. There was 679 players left after the first break, about half the field remained.
 
The Hilton Sisters hooked me up early. I put a short stack all-in and beat out A10s. I was looking good until AQo. I made a move... and raised to 5x the BB. I got one caller. The flop KK8. I made a move... a old fashioned bluff and moved all-in. The guy who called me preflop was the table chip leader and I put him on a middle pair or even AQ or AJ. He should have realized that with a monster raise preflop... that I had a high pocket pair or at least AK. He made a foolish move and called with 99! Why he called with that flop, I'll never know. I didn't catch any of my overcards and I was knocked out (again with AQ) in 583rd place.

Derek was out in 547th place. Maudie was bounced in 438th place and outlasted all of us today!

Saturday Party

I also played in a multi-table tourney yesterday morning. 1247 players including fellow bloggers Boy Genius and Al Can't Hang. First place paid $1247!!

11:07am... Al Can't Hang busted in 893rd place.

11:09am... Boy Genius eliminated in 885th place.

11:27am... I'm knocked out of the tournament when I went all-in with AQs. I lost to pocket aces! Eliminated in 690th place out of over 1200+.

I proceeded to play for 5.5 more hours at Party... seven hours in total for a net loss of $14. Just one of those days when it was a grind to almost break even. Plenty of swings. A few bad beats. I misread plenty of players. I punked out and folded when I should have pushed it all-in. And there were times I had second best hand... and lost a few pots. And yes, I made some bone head moves that would have gotten me benched by plenty of first rate college hoops coaches if I made similar moronic moves in an ACC tournament game.

The bankroll is hurting. I'm going to stick to betting on Women's hoops and the Malaysian beach volleyball league.

Secret Smile

A couple of random thoughts this morning.

1. I write on various topics, and most of my stuff can be found in cyberspace. I was invited to contribute to an online poetry workshop called Getting Glassier and Glassier. I've already posted two poems this week; the last one included an obscure poker reference, that all of my readers will definitely get. Yes... I just don't write about poker. As one of my close friends pointed out, I am a diverse writer, and the content of my writing stretches all over the bloggersphere...

1. From everyday things, living in NYC, and pop culture (Tao of Pauly)
2. Ficiton and travel stories (Truckin')
3. Poker and gambling (Tao of Poker)
4. International affairs and domestic politics (This Side of the Truth)

In case you were wondering, I do it all for free.

2. My mom won a $300+ jackpot playing the 25cent slots at Mohegan Sun casino in Connecticut the other day. She handed me $25, a cut of her winnings, when I stopped by yesterday to pick up my snail mail.

3. I won a betting pool involving the Martha Stewart sentencing trial with some stockbroker friends of mine at JP Morgan. I had to chop the pot between an equities trader and a secretary... because we all picked 5 Months for Martha's sentence. Oooh, too bad they didn't wait one more week, that way I could have bet on Martha's sentencing with BG for our weekly prop bet.

4. Bad Beat of the Week: $25 NL ring game on Party Poker. I limped in UTG with KK. With just one raiser and two loose callers, the button pushed all-in. I called, three others folded, and it was heads up. My KK vs. his 65o. Of course, I lost on the river, when he caught running low cards to get his 7 high straight.

This Side of the Truth: My New Blog

I'm introducing a brand new blog called: This Side of the Truth. It's my fourth major web log to date (Tao of Pauly, Tao of Poker, Truckin') and I'm hoping it will take on a life of it's own. I expect to update the site bi-weekly perhaps even daily as the election approaches. Here's the gist of This Side of the Truth:

I decided to start a blog about politics on July 4th. It was a perfect day to begin a weekly journal of the upcoming Presidential election. Perhaps, I will continue blogging about politics afterwards. Who the hell knows?

Yeah, just like how last summer when I moved most of my poker content off my main blog and over to this site... I'm doing the same with some political commentary. Feel free to drop by once a week. I'll thank you in advance for your support.

Pepper Drops the Hammer! 
 

Angie Dickinson
Watching Cebrity Poker... Angie Dickinson takes down Ron Livingston's Q9s with... The Hammer!! She flopped a 7 then caught another one of the turn. Unreal. I would have shit an egg roll if she shouted, "Hammer!!"
 
Yes,  tonight means another atrocious episode of Celebrity Poker Letdown. The only star among the peanut gallery is Angie Dickinson, who starred in the original Ocean's 11 (1960) with Frank Sinatra. I think she played his wife. She might get credit for assisting me with my first erection during steamy episodes of Police Woman back in the late 1970s when I was just a snot nosed punk sitting around in my underoos.  
 
I think they should have a strung-out version of Celebrity Poker Letdown including famous people recently in rehab for various substance abuse issues... like Mary-Kate Olsen, Billy Joel, Courtney Love, Robert Downey, Jr., and in seats 5 & 6... Rush Limbaugh.

On Thursdays I Ramble On...

"Disciplined and calm, to await the appearance of disorder and hubbub amongst the enemy... this is the art of retaining self-possession." - Sun Tzu

Where to begin? How about poker on TV. Caught most of the live poker from Turning Stone Casino. The element (that many of you have been discussing) of the anti-climatic final hands of WPT events is something that unfortunately makes even the best events seem like a sitcom or hour long TV drama. But then again, if you really wanted to know who won what WPT events, all you had to do was look it up somewhere on the web. The results are out there and available, but you watch attentively anyway. Some of you serious poker nerds watch the repeats with the same enthusiasm. It's OK, I won't out any of you... and I'm not trying to say how much cooler I am than the rest of you... I'm a geek, albeit a different type of geek. I'm the guy who's doing the NY Times crossword in ink, while watching Dawson's Creek, yapping on my cellphone with my attorney, and playing in a multi-table NL tourney on Party Poker.

Last night's event was interesting because you never knew how long that kid was going to last heads up with Phil Ivey. No time constraints. I was pulling for the kid for sure. By the way, I have never been to Turning Stone. I think AC and Foxwoods are closer.

Alfred Hitchcock once said that his movies were about real life with all the dull parts cut out. I guess that's what the WPT is all about. They cut down a four or five hour event into a nice easy to swallow two hour caplet for attention deficit, channel surfing, couch potatoes.

Still on Tilt?

I played solid the rest of last weekend (Omaha hi/lo SNGs) and was pleased with a decent performance at the Blue Parrot. This week on Party Poker has been mediocre for me. There's still a lingering hangover affect after my tiltish behavior when I lost three $20 SNGs in less than 15 minutes on last Friday (embarrassingly witnessed by BG's brother Bob). I'd like to think that I was adhering to the Iggymeister's theory on doubling up in the first level. But we know better. The friggin' Hilton Sisters once again captivated me with their beauty. And I could not lay them down. Who said AKo was an overrated hand? Made a bad move and went all-in when I flopped a King.

I had not seen one of my hidden personalities in some time. I've never given him a name, but I refer to him as a drunken Russian sailor on shore leave in Bangkok... drunker than Al Can't Hang on St. Patty's day... making bad moves and more focused on more booze and hookers than figuring out implied pot odds after flopping an open-ended straight with five people still in the pot. That's one of my alter-egos and we try to keep him behind locked doors... and away from sharp instruments.

OK, so I lost two $20 SNGs yesterday and I played for two hours and barely broke even today on the NL ring tables. The only highlight was playing with Lord Geznikor for a little bit. My poker play is tepid, at best. I seem to be folding hands to bluffers and calling hands against nutholders. One or two hands either way... and I'm looking solid right now.

My problem is evident... I'm lacking patience and discipline. It's funny how you always buck up when the bankroll starts fading away... just like Sharon Stone's career.

I had a thought on the subway the other day... Who would win in a thumb wrestling match? The Poker Penguin or HDouble?

And before you ask, that was in my head before I hung out with Puff the Magic Dragon. 

Live Poker on TV?

This evening at 6pm EST on Fox Sports (FSNY in my neck of the woods, check your local listings) there will be four hours of live poker... The American Championship at Turning Stone Casino in Verona, which is located in upstate NY. Should be interesting, although I'm not a huge fan of Fox's coverage of poker.

Week 9: Pauly-BG Gamble-a-thon... All Star Game

Well it's that time of week again. Boy Genius decided to make use of the MLB All Star Game for our weekly prop bet. Here's the propositions:

1) Runs+Hits+Errors, AL+NL +/- 29.5
2) Home Runs, AL+NL +/- 2.5
3) First Five Innings O/U 4.5 runs combined
4) Total Hits, AL+NL +/- 19.5
5) Total Strikeouts, AL+NL +/- 16.5
6) Team to score first
7) Team to score last
8) Team to hit more home runs
9) Team to have more base hits
10) League to hit first home run

The goal is for each of us to pick any five. Whoever has the most correct bets wins this round. And here are BG's picks:

1) AL+NL HR OVER 2.5
2) Total Strikeouts, AL+NL UNDER 16.5
3) Team to score first - NL
4) Team to have more hits - AL
5) Team to score last - NL

And of course... my picks:

1) Home Runs - OVER
2) First Five Innings O/U 4.5 runs - OVER
3) Total Strikeouts, AL+NL +/- 16.5 - UNDER
4) Team to hit more home runs - AL
5) Team to have more base hits - AL

What can I say? I'm a Yankees fan and I knew Clemens was going to get rocked in the first inning! I think I got this one locked up and lead the series 5-4. I have some good ideas about Week 10... stay tuned.

Summer Monday at the Blue Parrot

"Don't believe the florist when he tells you that the roses are free." - Ween

I only played once at the Blue Parrot since the summer began. Ferrari hosted a game two weeks ago but I was still on the road after my Phishy travels. I had to miss the last game. I was on tilt all weekend after a series of stupid, rookie, kick me in the balls kinda moves in $20 NL SNGs. I concentrated on my Omaha hi/lo game and as luck would have it, Ugarte was working a comedy gig. The games are Dealer's Choice and he often favors for rounds of Omaha when it was his turn to deal. Last night, we didn't play the normal amount of Omaha that I had been used too. It was a shame too, because I felt me Omaha game was the best it has ever been. Regardless, I hadn't seen everyone in over a month so I was ready to play some cards.

The Players:
Seat 1: Diane
Seat 2: Charlie (late)
Seat 3: Eli (first time player, law student)
Seat 4: Signor Ferrari
Seat 5: Joel
Seat 6: Coach
Seat 7: Dr. Pauly

8:07pm EST... My notes were very sketchy, I have nothing aside from: -30. We played some $2-4 hold'em and I probably had good starting hands, but folded after not-so-good flops. Diane took down a big pot after a crazy flop of AAK against Eli. She limped in with AK and won with the monster flop of the night. Coach was offering up a bounty of $10 if I could exactly guess his cards (in pots he played) after the hands were over. I missed everytime.

8:13pm EST... I found AA. It didn't take too long for a great hand to come along. I knew it was going to get cracked. My raises get little to no respect at the Blue Parrot. Of course, Ferrari reraised me with a hand he really shouldn't have been playing. In the last game my AA was cracked by his 22. I knew I needed to hit a flop because I put him on random face cards or a small pair. Although I wouldn't put it past Ferrari to try to bust me with The Hammer! After the turn the board read: 6789. Ferrari was pumped with his K-10o. he had a straight. By that point I put him on J-10 and figured he had the nuts. He checked on the turn and I knew the check-raise was coming. Probably beat, I checked to see a free card. The river: 10. I went from no hope to a chance to split the pot. I decided to call on the river and I got lucky... Ferrari didn't have a J like I suspected. We chopped the pot and my aces weren't cracked. It took a lucky river for me to save face.

8:19pm EST... +17. I'm the LB and Coach raised the pot on the button. I had Ad9d and called. I put him on a decent size pair or Big Slick. Coach is a savvy conservative player. If he's betting in a pot... he's got the cards, so you better have the nuts against him. The flop: Kd 8d 6x. I hit a nut flush draw and like I suspected, Coach bet out. Nothing helped me on the turn. I checked. At that point Coach made a comment something like, "When Pauly's not looking at me with his head down with his eyes (focused) on the table, that's his tell for two pair." He bet out. I called and answered, "Something like that." I hit my flush on the river and Coach's sigh was a give away that he most likely knew he was beat... and called anyway. I river'd Coach's Big Slick, but I paid to get it. Coach was going to give that away for nothing.

8:55pm EST... +55 after I split a $210 Anaconda pot with Ferrari. I had the nut low: A2345 and Diane and Ferrari were battling it out for the high hand share of the pot. Diane was showing 666K and Ferrari showed 3JJJ. He was visibly concerned that Diane had quads. He even called the last bet with a dejected sigh and muttered, "Show me your six." He was shocked to learn he won the pot with a better fullboat. Diane had a K, not quad 6s.

9:16pm EST... 10-10 cracked by Joel's 46o. I raised and he defended his big blind. He flopped an open ended straight and river'd me when an 8 hit. At that point Coach shared a new vocabulary word of the night. Ragamuffin. I think it means someone who calls a preflop raise with nothing... rags. At least that's what I got out of it. Party Poker is infested with ragamuffins.

9:19pm EST... +80 after Diane called Follow the Queen (wild card game - Queens and the card that falls up after a Queen is wild) and I won a hefty pot with a straight flush. I had a Q showing with Jx5s/6s-Qx-7s-8s by sixth street. Joel had a full boat and figured all I had was a flush, hence why he called me to the river.

9:35pm EST... +122 after I bluffed Joel out of the low hand in Anaconda. I had showing: A256... and my down card was another ace! He had A256 with a 7 or 8. Either way, if he stayed in, he would have won. About two hours in the game and I looked around the table. Coach was in the middle of a rebuy. Joel was about even. Ferrari was up a lot early and he was probably second in chips. Diane lost most of her stack when she lost a huge pot to Ferrari in Anaconda. And Eli was looking pretty decent. It took me two guesses (and a hint: 7) to figure out his exact birthday (Dec 27th). 365 to 1 shot, right? On Phish tour a few weeks earlier, I won $1 from a hippie chick when I guessed what state she was from. Ohio. 50 to 1 shot and I nailed it. Her friends were flabbergasted as she handed over a crisp $1 bill. I'm good like that, but I can't tell you what I ate for breakfast yesterday.

10:10pm EST... +150. Charlie showed up and we played one of Coach's favorite games... Seven Card Stud Push. You can elect to keep your up card or pass it on and get a new one for $1. I had a sweet low working and I passed a K and got a 3 in exchange. The hand was like buttah! Easiest money I won all night.

10:22pm EST... In a game of hold'em Joel's AA were cracked by Diane's 3-7o in the blinds. She flopped a pair and caught her second pair on the turn.

10:31pm EST... Still playing hold'em. In late position, Ferrari emphatically threw in a raise. Coach commented, "Was that a real raise, or a boredom raise?" Indeed, Ferrari wasn't getting too many hands all night.

10:48pm EST... +125. Joel called his favorite game Five Card Stud Replace hi/lo. You can replace any card after fifth street. I replaced a Q and had all low cards (aside from a 7 duplicated underneath). No one knew that of course and I easily won the low. Then the game started to break up.

Late Night Players:
Seat 1: Diane
Seat 2: Charlie
Seat 3: Ferrari
Seat 4: Joel
Seat 5: Dr. Pauly

11:23pm EST... +90. Dropped $35 in less than 35 minutes, mostly on a few loose calls seeing flops in hold'em.

11:30pm EST... +60. My AK was cracked by Charlie's 33. The flop: K32. You can tell where the rest of that hand went when another 2 hit the turn.

12:14am EST... +55. I won an Anaconda hand with the low: A2357.

The Final Tally:
Charlie +139
Dr. Pauly +55
Joel +50
Eli +18
Coach -59.50
Ferrari -80
Diane -121

Every time I sit down at the tables, my goal is to play smart while keeping a clear mind. The games at Ferrari's are Dealer's Choice, so you really have to be able to adapt and switch how you think about certain games. The normal games played are; $2-4 Texas Hold'em, $2-4 Omaha 8b (hi/lo), $1-5 Seven Card Stud, $1-5 Stud 8b (hi/lo), Anaconda, Seven Card Stud hi/lo Push, Five Card Stud hi/lo w/ Replace, and Follow the Queen. Late night sometimes Ferrari bumps up the limits to $3-6 hold'em.

Everyone has their strength and weaknesses, but cards are cards. If you get them you'll win most of the time. I knew that in order to win money at the Blue Parrot over the long haul, you have to be patient and wait for a good hand, and be ready to be aggressive when the time arises. Well rounded poker play is rewarded in the end. I was always a decent stud player (I learned stud way before hold'em and Omaha) and I picked up Omaha hi/lo very quickly. If you avoid losing your shirt in Anaconda, it's not very hard to walk away with double your buy-in. It's dangerous late night when the game goes shorthanded and that's when things get freaky! And again, Anaconda is a game where I won my fair share of big pots, but I also lost enough money that could easily feed several small villages in Southern China for two years. Last night, I pissed away a few bucks on hands I should have folded. I can think of at least $30-40 I could have saved. That all adds up in the long run. It's the difference between a $55 win and a $100 win.

Maybe next time, Ugarte will be back at the tables. It was good to see everyone again and some new faces added to the mix. I must add that I miss Rick Blaine (he and the wife moved to California) sitting across from me at the tables. It wasn't the same not having Rick semi-bluffing a Seven Card Stud hand against me. Maybe I can get him to meet me in Vegas!

Getting Credit for the Hilton Sisters


Hanging with the Hilton Sisters at the Bellagio
CJ over at Up for Poker recently discussed the nicknames for certain starting hands in poker. Some of you know that I refer to QQ as the Hilton Sisters. Anyway... here's what CJ had to say:

Pocket Queens: The Hilton Sisters

As far as I can tell, this is a poker bloggers creation. Pauly has made this nickname more popular through his little contest. This hand has also been more traditionally called "Ladies." And until the recent tiger mauling, it was known as "Sigfried and Roy." I think Paris and Niki will hold this title for at least a little while.

Alas, I must clear the record. I never invented nor coined the phrase. As far as I know, Vince Van Patten, one of the hosts of the World Poker Tour often refers to QQ as the Hilton Sisters in episodes of the WPT on the Travel Channel. I did, however, beat the phrase to a dead horse... and helped boost the nickname during my Hilton Sisters Bounty Contest when I was away on holiday.

Great post from CJ. Congrats to fellow Chris Halverson and Bad Blood on Poker for winning the first contest! No one won the second one. Third one is upcoming!!

Happy Birthday, Mr. Decker

Yeah! Everyone's favorite Florida poker blogger, Mr. Decker, is celebrating one year of solid poker blogging. Keep up the good work, Mr. Decker... the man who gave me my nickname... Dr. Pauly. Cheers to you, kind sir.

More Winning Adventures in Omaha

"We do not learn by experience, but by our capacity for experience." - Buddha

In finally won my first Omaha hi/lo SNG! It was a $5 one, but a win is a win. I played four this weekend and finished 1,3,4, and 6th. I'm pleased because every hand, I am becoming a better Omaha player. The learning curve is much higher for me (compared to Hold'em) when it comes to Omaha, hence the excitement.

As had been my game plan, I played ultra conservative. I quickly found my chips evaporating with all the blinds.

Level 3: With T375 left I knew it was time to make a move. I had: As, Jh, 6d, 3d and doubled up when I won the low pot with the board: 2d 5s 4d 2c Jc. I flopped the Wheel! It wasn't good enough to win the high hand (some dude had a full boat), but at least I doubled up!

Level 5: I had a little over T1100 chips. The blinds were 100/200 and I was 4th out of six remaining players. UTG I found: As, Tc, 2d, 4d and I limped in. The board: 3h Kc 5h 6h 7h. I flopped a nut low draw and bet out. I ended up chopping the low (some other guy has A2 as well) and winning the high pot (23456) with a 6 high straight... for 3/4 of the entire pot. Not too bad, eh? I almost doubled up and was now second in chips.

Level 6: I was the shortstack with T977 after the blinds ate right through my stack like a famished Homer Simpson digging into a plate of pancakes. I got decent strating hands, but a few low hands like A2 were duplicated or were not able to qualify. With 6h, Qh, 2h, 3c, I managed to scoop the entire pot! I had a better low (my 7,6,5,3,2 to the other guy's 7,6,5,4,A) and I hit the flush on the river!! I was second out of four and feeling confident.

Level 7: I made the money and the game was three way. The chip leader had about a 2 to 1 lead over me. With T2716 I won a decisive pot with 9c, Qd, Jd, 4s. I flopped a flush draw and caught the nut flush on the river and won the entire pot! The was no qualifying low hand. I had T4305 and was the out right chipleader.

Level 8: A few hands later I scooped another entire pot with 4s, 8d, Ah, 7d. My low was better by one card (6,5,4,3,A to his 6,5,4,3,2) I had hit a higher straight. I had well over T6200+ in chips.... 4x the second place guy. Within seven hands, I knocked out both guys for my first Omaha SNG win!

Poker in the Weeds: Updated!

My brother added several new posts to his blog this weekend: Poker in the Weeds. Check them out.

Anyway, my brother blogged his sad story about having his pocket aces beaten by KQo. It was in a tournament Saturday on Party Poker. I was playing as well and watched some idiot beat my brother, calling a hand he never should be playing. I even berated the guy in the chat saying things like, "Nice move, FISH!!" Yeah, I was wicked pissed and I wasn't even in that hand!

I think I came in 486th place out of 1194 players on Saturday.

Fantasy Pauly: The Answer


My favorite pair of Queens
When we last left, this was the situation:

You're Dr. Pauly in the little blind and you see your favorite hand, the Hilton Sisters. Mr. X raises under the gun doubling the big blind. You re-raised to 8x BB and Mr. X just calls. The flop is (Jh 6d 7d). You bet the pot (1/3 of your stack) and Mr. X (his stack is 2x your stack) comes over the top and pushes his stack all-in. You're Dr. Pauly, what do you do?

Thanks for everyone's comments and suggestions. Here's what was going on inside my head.

Preflop: The fact that he bet small UTG, then just called my raise was a concern. Was he slowplaying a KK or AA or did I have a better hand than him preflop?

The flop: If he was slowplaying AA or KK, I was fucked. If he had JJ, a hand I possibly put him on, then I was really screwed if he hit his set on the flop. I had to try to figure out what he put me on... did he think I had AKd? And he didn't want his set of Jacks cracked by me ctaching a fifth diamond. Did he put me on a high pair and have AKd and was on a draw, but wanted to try to semi-bluff-steal the pot on the flop by moving all-in? Or did he have AJd? With top pair on the flop... he had a chance to improve his hand with a nut flush draw.

The time was running out and I had to make a decision quickly. In a tournament at Foxwoods or at a WSoP satellite, I have to give the player a lot more respect and assume he's got a higher pair or the set of Jacks. I would have folded in those sitiations.

But folks, I was playing on Party Poker... so I took a deep breath and called. I moved all-in. If he had a hand it was AKd or AJd and he was on a draw. If he didn't have a hand... something I kind of suspected (why else would I have called?) I put him on a smaller pair (like 99 or something ridiculous like KQs). I'm glad I called. I was gambling that the guy had learned the vast majority of his poker knowledge from TV shows like Celebrity Poker Letdown and the WPT, instead of books authored by the likes of Sklansky, Brunson, and CLoutier.

The guy turned over: Jh-9h.

No flush draw. All he had was top pair! My Hilton Sisters was enough to win, and I doubled up against the guy. A few other players were happy I made the call. Mr. X was dubbed the table maniac, and after a rebuy, over the next hour of play he pushed his stack all-in more times than he should have. Typical Party Poker idiot... pushing his stack all-in on top pair when I reraised him preflop. I guess he never bothered to put me on a hand, or figured he could bully me around. It almost worked, because I nearly folded.

Adventures in Omaha

I consider Omaha hi/lo (or Omaha 8/B depending on what you call it) my third best game behind Texas Hold'em and seven card Stud. When I played Omaha, it was strictly Omaha High... and when I started playing at Ferrari's home games this past winter at the Blue Parrot, Omaha hi/lo was a game that was called at least 1/3 of the time. I played Omaha hi/lo very rarely over the last decade of poker playing. Mostly, I played a few times in casinos while I was awaiting for my hold'em games. And those tables, just like stud, were filled with WWII vets, some grouchy and other chatty, but all of them almost three times my age.

With very few masterful books penned about how to crack Omaha hi/lo, and with not too much information on the web to follow (Annie Duke's articles are the sole exception), most of what I learned was through trial and error. And I learned quickly (after losing chunks of my stack matching my oncoming pattern baldness) that I was a horrible Omaha player. Like most of my problems in poker, I played too many hands. Omaha hi/lo is a game that you really don't know what kind of hand you have until the river... and to invest in too many hands in a game where you pretty much hold onto your balls until the river... was cutting into my profits at the Blue Parrot. To be a winning Omaha player, you have to play tighter than in your regular hold'em game. Sometimes the other players at the Blue Parrot purposely called Omaha when I was on a rush, mainly because they knew it would level the playing field and slow me down.

Omaha hi/lo is a game where players can easily take advantage of my loose-aggressive behavior at the tables. Slowly... I made the adjustment. I scaled back my starting hands... and the few hands I played... I aggressively played until the river. My goals changed... I want to scoop the entire pot, not just hope to squeeze out half the pot with the low.

Besides, if you sit around and wait for A-2-x-x... you'll get chipped out. And from Coach's experiences with A-2-x-x... I was spooked. He lost something like 10 or 12 consecutive hands when he held A-2-x-x. Here's a good article on the subject by Annie Duke: Overestimating the Value of A2.

So far this summer, I've only played at the Blue Parrot once, which meant very little Omaha play for me in the last few weeks. I was rusty. After a horrible last 48 hours at the tables on Party Poker, I decided to take a break... but still needed a poker fix. On a whim, I fired up Party Poker and hit the Omaha SNG tables. I forked over $5 + $1 for a Omaha hi/lo SNG. I've played less than a handful in the last six months, so my goal was to finally make the money in an Omaha hi/lo SNG. The game is set up in a limit format. My Pot Limit Omaha game is sketchy, at best, and since we normally play $2-4 Omaha hi/lo at Ferrari's... limit Omaha is where I want to hone my skills. The players in the SNG ranged from solid players to a few newbies who were trying to learn the game. I figured I was in the middle of the pack and was going to play tight.

Level 6: With five players left, I was the short stack. I played only a few hands in the first five levels, mostly in late position and never without an A-2-x-x or A-3-x-x in my hand. I was still a little irked when I folded Qs-9s-Qc-8c in LP to a preflop raise a few levels earlier. I would have flopped a set and took down a huge pot. Oh well.

I was awaiting a miracle. On the button with T375, I moved all-in Kd-3d-9c-5c. Double suited cards was the best I saw in a long time. I got two callers and the board was: 2d-As-4s-6c-Td. Yeah! I flopped the Wheel and locked up at least part of the low pot (A2345). My hi hand was a 6 high straight (23456). None of the other two players could beat either hand, so I scooped the entire pot, and with T1175 I moved into fourth place, only a few chips out of third place.

After the blinds came around quickly, I found 9s-Ac-3h-2h. I moved all-in preflop and got one caller. The board: Qh-Kd-3c-4s-5s. Yep, I caught runner-runner for the Wheel again, and I scooped the entire pot with A2345 winning the low and the high pot. I doubled up with T1831. I was second place out of four players.

Level 7: The game was three way, and I realized I have no experience with shorthanded (and heads up) play in Omaha. I was making shit up as I went along. At least I made the money. I almost took the chip lead with Ad-Ks-3s-7d. The flop was: 6c-8s-Qc-7s-6d and I won the low with 8,7,6,3,A. T3106 and a few chips behind the leader.

Level 8: I held a brief chip lead and blew it when I lost a pot to a guy who held quad fives. Ouch. I had the boat. I scooped an entire pot with 2h-Th-6c-3c, when I nailed the low when an Ace hit the flop and hot the flush on the river to pull me back to second place.

Level 9: I had to fold A-A-A-Q. Oh well. It was heads up and I had 1/3 the chips. It was a grind, but I eventually lost when they guy caught a flush on the river, when I was awaiting for another low card to hit (I had As-2s-x-x) and he won the pot with no low qualifier.

I guess I was pretty excited considering I never placed in the money in a $5 SNG. By no means do I have a grasp on the game like I do with NL hold'em, but I'm learning with every hand I play, and I feel I am no longer at a disadvantage when the game is called. A few more $5 Omaha hi/lo SNGs will be on my weekly agenda the next few weeks. More to come.

Fantasy Pauly

"Never criticize a man until you've walked a mile
in his moccasins." - American Indian Proverb

Some of you have wondered what it would be like to be me for a day, even though everyone knows that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Well, you finally have your chance to be me for a day, well, er... for a few moments.

Now, here's an actual hand that I got on Party Poker yesterday playing in a $25 NL ring game. I just sat down at the table a few minutes before this hand in question. I had no idea what type of players I was up against.



Now, you have to imagine the following said by Shana Hiatt (like in those snippets the WPT cuts to before they break to/return from a commercial):

You're Dr. Pauly in the little blind and you see your favorite hand, the Hilton Sisters. Mr. X raises under the gun doubling the big blind. You re-raised to 8x BB and Mr. X just calls. The flop is (Jh 6d 7d). You bet the pot (1/3 of your stack) and Mr. X (his stack is 2x your stack) comes over the top and pushes his stack all-in. You're Dr. Pauly, what do you do?

I'll tell you went went through my head, what I did, and the outcome on Sunday. Those damn Hilton Sisters... the life of Pauly isn't all shits and giggles some nights.

Ugarte's Stand Up Gigs


Ugarte late night at the Blue Parrot
If you are in the NYC tonight and you are not doing anything, go see Ugarte (under his stage name Charles Star) do some of his stand up routine. He'll be appearing at the Gotham Comedy Club on W. 22nd Street (between 5th and 6th Avenues) tonight at 6:30. Get there at 6:15 PM.

If you can't make it tonight, then see him on these other nights here in NYC:

Monday, July 12: Underground Lounge Open Mike Night @ 8:45PM.

Tuesday, July 13: Stand Up NY on a bill with Johnny Lampert, Joe Matarese and Al Ducharme.

Support a fellow poker blogger/former lawyer looking to break into the insane stand up comic circle. Best of luck, Ugarte!

The Cincinnati Kid

Steven McQueen is The Cincinnati Kid
Tonight on TCM (Turner Classic Movies) at 8PM EST... they are showing one of my favorite Steven McQueen films of all time. Before Rounders, the poker movie was The Cincinnati Kid. FYI, if you haven't seen it, they don't play hold'em. Check it out. Set in the backdrop of the seedy back room card games in New Orleans, a young poker player is attempting to take down the best poker player in the world. The film features a hot Ann-Margaret and a very drunk Edward G. Robinson. Rounding out the cast are Karl Malden and Tuesday Weld.

Near Miss

Congrats to Ephro who cracked Aces with the Hilton Sisters... but he was a little too late past the deadline. I figured I'd at least blog his feat! Here's a look:

Dealt to ephro [ Qd, Qs ]
** Dealing Flop ** : [ Qc, Js, 2h ]
** Dealing Turn ** : [ 2d ]
** Dealing River ** : [ Kd ]
** Summary **
Main Pot: 1880 | Board: [ Qc Js 2h 2d Kd ]

ephro, net +970 [ Qd Qs ] [ a full house, Queens full of twos -- Qd,Qs,Qc,2h,2d ]
bhudXXX, lost 910 [ As Ad ] [ two pairs, aces and twos -- As,Ad,Kd,2h,2d ]

Nice job. better luck next time.

Wait, Pauly You Have a Poker Blog?

Actual words from an actual friend of mine, who obviously never ventured off my other site Tao of Pauly to take a look at this madness.

I've been getting a nice flow of traffic from all reaches of the Earth. Very cool. Glad to know that people are not just interested in poker... but they are interested in quality writing about poker. That's the kinda stuff that gets me outta bed in the morning. That and the prospect of getting to drink beer before noon on a weekday down in a seedy bar in the Village. I haven't done that in a long time. Party Poker had been my addiction recently. It's kept me outta my favorite bars! There are bartenders missing tips all over the big city wondering, "Where the fuck did Pauly go? And that loud mouth blonde?"

Yeah, I miss the days when I used to stumble around the city with a moderate beer buzz early in the mornings after drinking with Haley and/or Briana. Our favorite actress is out in Santa Fe now working on an Ibsen play and poor Ms. Buttons is summering in Europe. You know someone is uber-rich when they blatantly use "summer" as a verb instead of a noun.

Help Wanted: I'm looking for new party girls in the NYC who will pick up my mid-afternoon bartabs and enjoy listening to me pontificate about poker and all things useless like politics and philosophy. Send me your resume, cover letter, and financial statement.

OK, back to poker talk. I actually took the time and visited every blog linked in my links section. Some of my fellow poker bloggers stooped blogging. Looks like they gave up. Blogging is a new fun hobby, but real blogging takes work and discipline.

Now as you know, if you visit my poker blog every day, you will most likely see a new post. I'm a fervent blogger. I'm addicted to words more than poker. Sometimes I actually make sense. Other times, I'm just sharing the internal dialogue inside my head.

How did I do last night at the tables? I rode a ridiculous $2 per minute win rate after playing less than a half hour at the NL ring tables. It was one of those days. Last night over 45,000 players were logged on.

Poker is the new crack.

Poker in the Weeds: Updated!

My brother finally posted a few entries to his poker blog Poker in the Weeds. His topics included meeting the Corkins clan to online poker to placing in a multi on Party to playing with the legend himself Al Can't Hang. Check out his latest posts.

First Thoughts on the WSoP

9:32pm EST: $2,000 NL event... that James Vogl kid sure looks like the dweeb from the American Pie movies. I just saw Shawn Rice from Texas take down a pot with quad 9s. Very nice. Flipping channels and I see one of the chicks (Sara Rue) from Celebrity Poker Letdown in her sitcom on ABC. So that's her day job.

10:12pm EST: $1,500 Stud event... wait, is that a mullet on Ted Forrest?

10:50pm EST: Playing a $5 SNG on Party Poker with 44,000+ other players. That's a lot of fish. Watching Men the Master after he snarfed on his Corona. My brother said, "Only in America do they openly promote guys shit talkin' and drinking while gambling."