2011 WSOP: Before the Madness Begins

By Pauly
Las Vegas, NV

I'm slightly hungover.

That's a good sign. It means I'm starting the 2011 WSOP with a gaggle of positive and alcohol-drenched memories rattling around inside my head after an evening of beer bowling and Pai Gow. I gotta say, I didn't bowl a single frame and I only played a couple of hands of Pai Gow from 2:30 to 3:00am before the dealer made fun of me for almost falling asleep at the table. At least she didn't egg me on about playing the Fortune Bonus.

Fleeting flashes of images from last night are slowly coming into focus. Landon gave me guff for misspelling his name (Langdon). I met an avid reader and I kept calling him Andy because I forgot his name (my apologies -- I have a pothead's shot-term memory). I chatted with RJ Bell from PreGame.com about more topics related to sportsbetting than I could count. There was a Liz Lieu sighting. One of my friends offered to give me a book about marijuana cultivation.

The later the evening got, the weirder the discussions got, and that's when the hijinks occurred. I offered Chip Bitch $5 to piss in the sink. He obliged. Marty offered him money to drown a shot of motor oil...but we hesitated because we thought, "Shit, that might kill him. He's kinda small."

A drunk local named "C-Dogg" decided to crash our party (after his own friends ditched him) and I gotta admit, I thought he knew me or was a friend of a friend and I started talking to him before I realized we didn't know each other. I wanted to ditch him, but he pointed at Eric Morris and said, "I'm gonna kick his ass!"

"Whoa!" I interjected. "You don't wanna do that. He's a nice guy. He's my boss at Bluff Magazine."

C-Dogg made a bee-line for Eric and spent the next hour screaming drunk jibberish and dry humping his leg. C-Dogg was 86'd shortly later, but not before he ran behind me and said, "I think I'm going to jail."

That's when security walked into the dive bar at the bowling alley and escorted him out. C-Dogg apparently bled out after cutting himself and the security guards had to put on white gloves while hauling him out.

Just another Monday (as it bled into Tuesday morning) in Vegas, eh?

* * *
Before the WSOP kicked off, I found us a house to live in. My roomies this summer are Benjo and Change100. Someone told me that the majority of property and houses in Las Vegas is underwater, which meant there were hundreds of thousands of free places to stay if I had the balls to squat and could find a generator for power. Shit, the entire monetary system is on the brink of collapse, so why would I actually pay to live in a house when we had plenty of options?

Yes, we may or may not be squatting this summer. It will definitely make for an interesting sequel to Lost Vegas.

* * *
The WSOP kicks off today at the Rio. although a bracelet was given out on Sunday for the WSOP-Circuit grand champion. Some guy named Sam Barhart won it and a couple of Team Pokerati players advanced to the final table.

This will be my 7th WSOP. I have no idea what is going to happen, but I'll tell as many stories about the action (mostly off-the-felt action) here on Tao of Poker. I will be having a few guest posts along the way as the Tao All-Stars step in and pinch hit when I take a few days off to see 5 Phish shows at random intervals over the next month.

Oh, I do have some great news.... Change100 will be joining Tao of Poker as a regular contributor. So if you're a fan of her writing, you're in luck. Check out her most recent post Darkness on the Edge of Town.

FYI... there's a silly rule about hourly updates, so I am prohibited to post more than once an hour on Tao of Poker, which is why you need to follow me on Twitter to get updates throughout the day.

Just a reminder, my main Twitter account is @taopauly.

Over the last few years, I developed a routine where I tweet'd throughout the day and acquired as much info and notes for my juicy end of day recaps on Tao of Poker. You can (at least) expect that similar coverage this year, but who knows if I'm going to be posting a lot during the days on Tao. I guess you'll have to tune in and find out.

And not to fear, I will be recording podcasts with Michalski and Benjo for Tao of Pokerati, which as you know is the quickest poker podcast on the web. Here's the quick link to subscribe to Tao of Pokerati on iTunes.

Okay, that's it for now. I gotta get a couple of rum cocktails in my system to help cure this hangover. A wise man named AlCantHang once told me the best batch of Vegas advice I've ever heard: "Avoid hangovers... stay drunk."

Stay sloshed my friends.


Photo courtesy of Flipchip
So, are you ready? Seriously, are you really ready for the WSOP to begin? If so, it's time to eat whatever happy pills you have in your stash, smoke 'em if you got 'em, and keep all arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times. It's going to be a wild seven-week ride and I'll be your jungle guide. So just remember,under no circumstances should you feed the animals.

Stay tuned.