Editor's Note: As you know, I'm away for the weekend and Daddy has control of the Tao of Poker. Here's another one of his guest posts.
"Never play poker when you're tilted."
"What's up? Bad night again?"
"Yeah, I lost seven buy-ins. My head wasn't in it."
"Do you ever think about giving up the game?"
"Of course not. I only played bad because I threw off my daily routine."
"Oh yeah? And what kind of routine is that?"
"Well, I always masturbate in the shower, and yesterday I couldn't because I had just taken a shit and it smelled so bad I couldn't tug one off."
"Wow. That's powerful."
"Yeah, I tried to start, but it wasn't happening. My poop was pretty foul. I haven't shit a solid turd in months, and this last batch would've passed right through a screen door.
"So, you've never had sex in a cow pasture?"
"Can't say that I have. Why would I?"
Daddy is a donkeyfucker from Hilljack, Indiana. You can buy an official Snail Trax shirt and merchandise by visiting the SnailTrax Store.