Tao of Poker

The Carnage

My mom had a huge leak in the bathroom in her apartment and I had to sit and babysit the plumbers to make sure they didn't steal anything while she was at work. I was there at 8:30am, the time the super said they would arrive. They didn't show up until11:30am and then spent the next 90 minutes tearing down the wall and ceiling. The didn't leave until 4:20pm.

While they removed a pipe that was 50 years old, I sat and played two MTTs on Party Poker. I took 330 out of 580 and 22 out of 100. I was knocked out of both on a bad beat and I'm starting to feel like Phil Hellmuth playing in these MTTs online. I felt like I was going to make the final table in the last one I played and ended up busting out at 22.

Here comes another Party Poker bad beat story. I had Q-Q and raised 4.5 the BB with the Hiltons. One limper called with A-4. The flop was 2-5-2. He checked, I bet the pot and he moved all in for the rest of his chips... maybe 300 more. He showed A-4 and I had the Hiltons. He rivered an ace on me. I was going to punch a hole in the wall but I remembered that Mario and Luigi were already punching holes in walls and getting paid to do that. I was eventually KO'd by the same guy when my J-9s lost to his 9-7o. Talk about getting kicked in the junk twice.

So be it.

It had been a while since I played MTTs on Party Poker. When I lived in Las Vegas this summer, I'd play a $100 MTT once a week from the Redneck Riviera on dial up of all things while listening to the inbred and pot-bellied kids next store engage in the usual early morning slap-fights. I bled away a good portion of my online bankroll playing those $100 MTTs on Party Poker.

*****

Lastly, the skies are dark and grey in my world. I just found out that another Hollyweird starlet was knocked up... and not by me. Check out what my second favorite NYC socialite, Mui, had to say about the latest dish about Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise. Even Al Cant Hang is pretty bummed out. He was the first person to clue me in.

Dear Katie,

You blew it. You could have gotten knocked up by me and I would not have made you convert to my cult, er religion. Where I might lag behind Tom in boyish good looks, I make up for in height and girth.

First you ditch Dawson. Now this. We all thought this Tom & Katie thing was a nice publicity stunt, something concocted by your PR reps. We all went along for the ride like it was some really bad April Fools joke. But now, this joke has reached absurd levels.

My heart weeps for thee,
Pauly

First the Yankees lose Game 2 and now this. Ouch. It's been a rough last 12 hours in my world. Time to seal the windows, turn on the gas, and read Sylvia Plath.