Tao of Poker

Hilarity Ensues

I had a weird dream earlier this morning where I was making out with Paris Hilton in the parking lot of a Denny's in Colorado somewhere. A few weeks ago I had another random celebrity dream when I was playing golf with one of the Doobie Brothers and the guy from St. Elsewhere, the doctor with the autistic kid. We were discussing if Cat Stevens is really a terrorist. I liked the Paris dream better. At least I got to eat at Denny's.

Congrats to AlCantHang for posting the funniest entry this year. Go check it out.

My Jets play Mean Gene's Steelers this afternoon. Geno, we should have a friendly bet. The loser sends the winner one of their favorite books. Are you down?

I took the Jets with the money line and hedged my bet and took the Steelers with the points. I also like The Falcons, Indy, and The Iggles.

Last night I cancelled my plans so I could play the Bad Beat Jackpot tables on Party Poker. It was over 720k! Of course, when I logged on some lucky fucktard already took home a quarter of a million. I finally read the fine print:

Every time the jackpot is hit, 70% of the jackpot amount will be distributed and 20% will be used as seed amount for the next jackpot. 10% will be retained by Party Poker as administrative fee. Of the distributed amount, 50% will go to the loser of the hand (the Bad Beat), 25% to the winner and 25% will be split between the other seated players who actively participated in the hand (any player sitting out will not receive a portion of the jackpot).

So Party Poker kept at least 70k+. Now it could possibly be more and they were lowballing the amounts, like your home state does for the lottery. To this day I'm convinced they only pay out less than 50% and keep all the rest to pad the pockets of our elected public servants and the rich fuckers who help them get elected. Online poker might be rigged... but state lotteries and Powerball is definitely rigged.

Alas, that's why I never play Lotto. Last night I hopped on a blogger table. I wasn't paying too much attention because I visited every single blog I have linked up. Yes, If you have a poker blog there's a good chance I read your stuff yesterday. I skimmed a few. I commented on a couple. Some of you are moving up in levels. And I saw that the majority of you had not updated since my last poker blog reading binge. And that a lot of people are feeling down about their game. The hard ass in me would say, "Suck it up and stop being such a pussy!" But the sensitive, compassionate, caring guy in me wrote, "Hang in there. Have a positive mental attitude and be patient. When the rush comes, grab a hold and don't let go."

Anyway, I played with the usual cast of characters. CJ, Otis, Maudie, Iggy McBoobs, Chad... and I think Derek, SirF, Boy Genius, and Glyph were on the rail. Did I miss anyone? Oh yeah, Shelly finally got up the courage and sat with everyone. I know I dumped some chips to her. One tourist had over $138. He was jacked up on Oxycontin (so he said in the chat) and lost the majority of his stack to "Otis Two Tables". I dropped three buy-ins and called it a night. I played on the BBJ tables all afternoon and ended up down 2BB! Which is probably what they took out for the BBJ.

Recent Poker Playing Music...
1. Curtis Mayfield
2. The Beatles
3. Charlie Hunter Quartet
4. Phil Lesh & Friends
5. The Talking Heads